Yet Another Multiverse
by gamer4
Summary: A story that in no way involves the characters of RWBY being thrust into another dimension and viewing many different stories from across the multiverse. Even if that was the setup, it wouldn't center on Jaune Arc, right? That's not what this is all about- this is a classy fanfiction profile. ...Right?
1. The Bad Beginning

Gamer4 in. Welcome to another story that I'm starting because... because I hate myself, and am not satisfied with all the stories I'm working on as is, so hey, may as well throw another one on the pile. At least this will be a nice, simple story that's nothing whatsoever out of the ordinary. In any way. I definitely won't be jumping on any bandwagons, because... well... I'm classier than that, right? Right, you all know that. I'm classy- this is a classy fanfic profile. Well, let's get started.

Disclaimer: Monty Oum owns RWBY, now and forever. Anyone else is merely his steward.

A Perfectly Ordinary RWBY Story That Doesn't Jump on Any Bandwagons

Prologue

Another Normal Day

It was a perfectly average day at Beacon Academy- nothing was even remotely out of the norm. Every member of Team RWBY and JNPR woke up, had their usual breakfast, then started going about their classes.

They were en route to their first class when Ruby opened up a door only to see pitch blackness on the other side.

"What the-"

"Something up, Rubes?" Yang asked, gazing over her shoulders and widening her eyes when she spied the other side.

"Hmm... I don't recall a door into infinite space where Professor Port's class used to be," Blake noted dryly.

"Oh! It's probably aliens!" Nora gasped. "I _knew _there was something off about breakfast this morning- Ren! The aliens are coming back!"

"...I'd like to deny it, but this _is _an odd phenomenon," Ren agreed, raising a hand to his chin in thought.

"Guys, what are you talking about?" Jaune asked obliviously, moving to the front of the queue. "It's just a perfectly ordinary door-"

He was cut off as he passed through the darkness, causing gasps from the others.

"Jaune!" Pyrrha called out in a panic.

"Fearless Leader! _Noooo! _We gotta go after him!" Nora called out, grabbing Pyrrha under one arm and Ren under the other before diving in after him.

"Nora, I don't think-" Ren started to say before they were swallowed by the darkness as well.

"Oh no!" Ruby cried. "We _have _to go after them!"

"Ruby, _stop!" _Weiss put her foot down. "We are _not _going to solve this problem by just-"

"In we go!" Ruby cried, leaping in with no regard for her partner's words.

"Ruby!" Weiss and Yang both cried, leaping in as one.

Blake sighed. "Here we go..."

With that, she moved in as well. The second her foot crossed the threshold, the darkness disappeared, leaving only Jaune on the other side, looking around in bewilderment. "What the- where did everybody go?"

WWWW

Gamer4 narrowed his eyes at his computer screen. "That... wasn't supposed to happen." He then moved away a tad, glancing around for a moment before his eyes widened and he suddenly picked up his phone.

"Come on, come on, George, pick up..."

"I'm sorry, I can't come to the phone right now, I'll ask you to leave a message after the beep."

"GEORGE KILL-YOUR-SELF-TYRIAN, YOU DO _NEVER _INSTALLED AN ACTUAL VOICE CLIP! I KNOW THAT'S YOU!"

"Okay, okay, no need to tear into me."

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"Well, you remember that time that one of your Yangs beat me to a pulp?"

"Not _my _Yang, but yeah, that was less than a month ago."

"Well, I appreciated that _so much _that I thought I'd get another story idea going for you."

"George..."

"And since I know you're _so _original, I figured you'd be good with doing a popular trend about now..."

"Georgie, don't _do _this to me..."

"So I'm zapping teams RWBY and NPR to your place to watch some movies with you."

"FOR THE LOVE OF THE EXISTENCE, GEORGE!"

"Yeah, they oughtta be here in about 3... 2...1-"

A door slammed open behind Gamer4, and he turned to see a very confused Team RWBY standing in the entrance to his study, looking thoroughly offended by _something _they were seeing.

Self-consciously, Gamer4 looked down and realized he was wearing nothing aside from a pair of shorts and a bathrobe.

"MOTHERFU-"

Yet Another Multiverse

Prologue

The Bad Beginning

"-DGER!"

Team RWBY stared for a while, nonplused, at the young man in front of them- tall, slightly chubby, with a mess of dirty blond hair on his head and face. A pair of round dirty glasses accentuated the nerd look- as did the fact that he was dressed in naught but a pair of shorts and a bathrobe.

...And he was currently writing around on the ground, hands over his head. "He smegged me. Dangit, Georgie, you smegged me, you smegged me, you smegged me."

Next to him was what appeared to be a scroll- an impression given further credence by another voice cackling maniacally out of it.

Seeing that they wouldn't be getting any answers out of _him _anytime soon, they took to examining the rest of the room.

Disorganized would be a generous term for it. Cardboard boxes filled with books littered the ground, as did several soda cans- a minifridge nearby showing where they came from. On no less than three sides of the room were shelves and shelves of DVDs. As they waited for the man to calm himself down, Yang curiously grabbed onto one and pulled it our, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw herself on the cover.

"What the-"

"Smegged me... smegged me... turned me around and found me in the Alps..."

The cover showed her in her combat clothes, but her hands were wrapped in bandages in place of Ember Celica. The title was _Eye of the Dragon._

"What's this...?"

They turned to see Blake examining another DVD case, showing her in a cowboy outfit of sorts, Yang standing nearby in similar garb. The title read _Belladonna Unchained._

Ruby turned to Weiss. "Hey... can _you _find one?"

Weiss bit her lip and pulled a DVD out at random, before turning red and shrieking, "Oh, _really now!"_

The cover showed her and Ruby embracing each other, she in near royal garb, Ruby dressed as a simple farmgirl. Large, looping letters declared the title, _The Ice Queen Bride._

Yang snorted. "Well, _someone's _got your number."

"Are these... fan films of us?" Blake asked out loud.

"I don't know," Ruby wondered, tilting her head at the covers she'd seen. "These people look pretty spot-on."

"Yeah, but I don't remember posing for these pictures, either," Yang crossed her arms. "Hey, you!"

She turned back towards the man on the ground, still rocking back and forth in the fetal position. "Friendship is false and never existed... God is dead and _we _killed Him..."

Weiss rolled her eyes, crossing the room, forcing him to his feet, and slapping him across the face.

His eyes rolled around like slot machines before coming to a rest, revealing a pair of groggy blues. "Urrrr... thanks, I needed that."

"Any time," she nodded sarcastically. "Now, if it isn't too much trouble... do you mind _telling us where we are?!_"

The man gulped, glancing among the girls, before nodding. "Okay... okay. There's no easy way to say this, but... you've crossed over into another world."

They stood there for a moment, waiting for him to start laughing at them... but he didn't. He kept looking at them, completely straight-faced.

"...I'm waiting for the punchline," Blake finally prompted.

"No punchline- you've entered another world," the man repeated. "Look, please, don't blame me, I was against this from the start-"

"Liar!" chimed the phone on the ground.

"SHUT UP, GEORGIE!" the man screamed, bending down to pick it up. "THIS IS ALL _YOUR _FAULT!"

The girls glanced at each other, backing away a bit. "So... who's on the phone?" Yang asked.

"Oh, that's Georgie- he's the one that brought you here," the man explained.

"And... who're you?" Ruby asked.

The man blinked. "Oh- my name... er... well, _technically, _Gamer4, but that's kind of awkward, so you can call me... Crazy. Crazy Hand. That's my name pretty much everywhere else."

"Crazy Hand," Weiss repeated, crossing her arms and lowering her lids halfway.

"Yeah... I have a real name, but let's leave it at that for now."

"That's _one _step in the right direction, I suppose," Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Wait, you'll tell us George's name, but not your own?" Blake narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, George is just his nickname," Crazy responded immediately. "George Kill YourSelf Tyrian."

"It's just George KYST," the phone responded.

"SHUT UP!" Crazy shouted, hanging the phone up. "Smeg..."

"I still don't believe this 'other-world' thing," Yang spoke up, glaring at him.

"Then try using your semblance," Crazy sighed. "I'm gonna go get dressed..."

He left via a door behind them, making sure to close it. The girls glanced between each other, eyebrows raised.

"Simple enough," Weiss shrugged, reaching out and attempting to form a glyph.

Nothing happened.

"That's... odd..."

One by one, all the others tried their semblances out as well.

"Incredible!" Ruby cried, her eyes wide. "He must have some sort of semblance that blocks other peoples'!"

"Nope," came Crazy's voice- he returned through the same door, doing a couple of buttons on a yellow-and-blue striped polo and adjusting the sleeves of a large black coat. "The fact of the matter is, this world doesn't have semblances _period."_

"No semblances?" Ruby repeated, eyes widening further and further. "Then how-"

"How about we wait until we recruit your friends before I explain everything?" Crazy suggested. "I think I heard them upstairs..."

He led them out of the room into an equally filthy hallway, and up a flight of steps to a large room with a blue carpet and several windows looking out on the woods. "Whoah!" Ruby sounded happy, at least. "It reminds me of back home on Patch!"

"Ruby?" came the excited voice of Nora, peering round a nearby corner. "Check out the kitchen! We have _pancakes!_"

"Pancakes?" Crazy asked, spinning around the corner. "I had some mix, but I didn't think we-"

"I cook fast under pressure," came the calm voice of Lie Ren, who had somehow managed to clean the entire kitchen and get some pancakes made in the short time he had spent there. "I presume you are the owner of this building?"

"I mean, I _live _here, yeah..."

"Wow!" came a call from back in the living room. "Look at the _size _of this TV!"

"Hey!" Crazy called back. "Don't touch that!"

He rushed in and struggled to pull Yang away. "I have everything- set up... just right..."

He panted as he finally succeeded, then collapsed onto a nearby sofa, wiping his brow.

"Careful there," Yang turned to face him, crossing her arms. "Semblance or no semblance, I'm sure I can still kick your ass."

"Duly noted," Crazy grunted wearily, his face pressed into the cushion beneath him.

"Please don't be like that, Yang," came the kindly voice of Pyrrha Nikos. "I admit I'm not fully up to speed, but from what I've gathered, _we _are the intruders here."

"He says we're in another dimension!" Ruby reported.

"ANOTHER DIMENSION?!" Nora gasped. "See, Ren? I _told _you- ALIENS!"

"No, no, I'm not an alien," Crazy denied, standing up again. "I'm just... from another place."

"So... an alien?"

Crazy looked pleadingly in Ren's direction, but he merely shook his head.

"Whatever," he finally muttered. "Anyways, like I've been trying to explain, I'm from another world where we don't have semblances- or grimm."

"No grimm either?" Pyrrha asked, clearly speaking for them all, with their shocked faces.

"No grimm," Crazy affirmed. "Look... are you familiar with the theory of the multiverse?"

There was a general chorus of nods and assent- it was a pretty common hypothesis, after all.

"Well, it's actually even more complicated than most people think," Crazy continued. "Y'see, what people think of as books, tv shows, and video games are, in reality, records of other universes as well."

Looking out his window for this next part, he continued. "So... in my world, _your _world is represented by a tv show."

"You're saying we live in a tv show?" Yang asked, her joviality turning to anger- a sentiment hardly unique to her.

"No, no, nothing like that!" Crazy denied, waving his hands in a panic. "That's just how it's represented in _my _world! It's fully possible _my _world is represented as a tv show in _yours, _too!"

He sighed. "Look, when people get ideas for stories, they're actually looking into other worlds and seeing the events that play out there, transcribing them. The stories of _your _world were seen and transcribed into a tv show in mine- really, it's no different from historical fiction, understand?"

"Um... kinda?" Ruby tilted her head in confusion.

"Then there are people who see that original show, then start looking into other versions of that same reality, thinking they're coming up with their own ideas. That's what fanfiction is- with me so far?"

"More or less," Pyrrha nodded, hands clasped together.

"That's what _I _do- I'm a fanfiction writer. I look into those other worlds, see how they play out, and write them down for the benefit of the internet. It's all in the name of insight!"

"So... can't you just write us back home?" Nora suggested.

"I wish," Crazy grunted. "My... _partner, _George, summoned you here after another version of Yang punched him across the face for making her Ruby cry. Since you're here, I _can't _just write you back until I've at least _attempted _to tell some sort of meaningful story first. If I don't, the consequences would be... bad."

"How... how bad are we talking about?" Ruby asked, poking her fingers together.

Crazy met her eyes directly. "Imagine your life stopping instantaneously and every particle in your body exploding at the speed of light."

Silence fell. "That... doesn't sound good," Yang nodded. "That sounds... double plus bad, in fact."

Crazy sighed. "Unfortunately, I think I have an idea of what George wants me to do here..."

"And what might that be?" Weiss asked, covering her fear by crossing her arms and tilting her head imperiously.

"Well, as you've probably noticed by now, Jaune's not here, correct?"

"I was going to ask about that, if you didn't bring it up," Pyrrha agreed. Adopting a more hostile position, she asked, "Did _you _do something to him?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Crazy denied. "George didn't summon him in the first place. Y'see, there's a sizeable subgenre of fanfiction nowadays where people summon versions of you from your 'main' universe, and show you other worlds centered on Jaune."

"Why him?" Weiss asked. "Of all people, why tall, blond and scraggly?"

Crazy shrugged, heedless to the glares being directed in Weiss's direction from Pyrrha and Ruby. "Smeg if _I _know. I guess it makes a _certain _amount of sense- he's a sort of everyman-style character who's easy to fit into many different scenarios- but the reverence some of these people give him is just _bizarre._"

Picking up on how things had been going so far, Blake asked, "But... aren't you about to do the same thing?"

"Yeah... that seems to be what Georgie's after," Crazy nodded wearily. "On the plus side, if we toe the line for long enough, it should become safe to send you back home again. Sound like a plan?"

"So, all we actually have to do is kick back, relax, and watch a few flicks about Vomit Boy?" Yang asked. "Well... it beats sitting through one of Port's lectures, at least."

"That's the spirit," Crazy smiled weakly, trying to pick up his own. "Alright, if everyone will take their seat on the sofa, we can get started- sooner we do, the sooner you can all go home. I'll go pick out the first one."

Everyone glanced at the couch- it was clearly meant for only three people- four at most. "Umm..."

"Trust me!" Crazy called back as he descended the stairs.

They shrugged, then sat down, one by one. To their surprise, despite the couch being very obviously too small to seat them all- it sat them all quite comfortably.

"How is this possible?" Blake wondered, gazing around- her eyes didn't even understand what they were looking at.

"What?" came Crazy's voice as he reappeared, a DVD case in hand. "You act like you've never seen a seven-dimensional couch before."

"What're we starting off with?" Yang asked.

"I have no idea," Crazy shrugged. "This one's blank- I have no earthly idea _what's _on this smegging thing. Guess it'll be a surprise for us all, huh?"

He popped it in and took a seat in a nearby recliner as the TV flickered into life.

_XXXX_

Yup, _I'm _doing one of these now- because everybody was asking for it! ...By everybody, of course, I mean nobody. Nobody was asking for my take on this. Not to pick on others who write stories like this, they're pretty entertaining, often enough, but I doubt anyone was asking to see how I'd handle the topic. But here it is, nonetheless! This story is entirely for fun- I still have other stories to focus on, after all. I _do _accept requests, and I have some ideas of my own, of course. Just know that requests aren't guaranteed to appear- I like to have some idea what I'm writing about, after all, and my field of vision extends only so far. Well, depending on response, we'll see you anywhere from tomorrow to next week- but I _do _intend to have another chapter up by Thanksgiving, at latest. Until then, please R&R, constructive criticism and requests welcome, Gamer4 out.


	2. The War Against Salem

Gamer4 in. Hmm... let's see how things are going. I'm guessing a couple follows, maybe a favorite or two... a review if I'm lucky... Oh. Eighty subscribers, fifty-seven favorites, and seventeen reviews. Huh. Guess I'd better get started on that first chapter then.

Disclaimer: Earthbound belongs to my boy, Shigesato 'Shiggy' Itoi. Please come back, Itoi- we need you in these dark and troubled times.

Episode I

The War Against Salem

**The screen opens up with a cloud of black and white static, slowly focusing in on a seemingly normal town ravaged by UFOs and horrible monstrosities. Horrifying music plays in the background, as words form over it- **_**THE WAR AGAINST SALEM.**_

There were gasps from the viewers, with the exception of Crazy, who looked like he was about to wet himself in excitement. "Gods! What _is _this?!" Weiss wondered aloud.

"Oh, it's _this!" _Crazy cheered. "Oh, this is one of my _favorite _stories!"

"_This?_" Blake asked, narrowing her eyes at him. "You enjoy watching wanton destruction?"

"It's not as bad as it looks, I swear!" Crazy raised his hands in surrender. "Just watch, just watch!"

**As if the film were on rewind, all the monsters and UFOs began pulling out, and the town reconstructed itself, until the screen cut to black, with white text. **_**TEN YEARS EARLIER...**_

**The screen came back to life, showing the same town, panning through the buildings, into the woods nearby. **_**199X- ONETTE. THE HOME OF JAUNE ARC.**_

**There were two buildings nestled among the trees- the camera entered one of the windows to show Jaune himself sleeping in his bed. The room around him was a very stereotypical teenage boy's. A voice came through the darkness. **_**"I was seven when I realized I was different."**_

"Isn't that Jaune-Jaune's voice?" Nora wondered. "I thought he was sleeping!"

"Background narration," Ren supplied. "A common enough tactic."

"What does he mean by different?" Ruby wonders, rubbing her kneecaps.

"_**My parents knew even before then- apparently, when I was young, I could make my toys move without touching them. I always knew when the people around me were upset, without them having to say so- and as I grew up, my power developed- I could hear their very thoughts."**_

"A psychic?" Yang wonders. "Hey, this isn't gonna be like that one movie, is it? Y'know, where people who have powers are discriminated against by people who aren't?"

"Nothing like that," Crazy assured them, taking a sip from a can nearby, noting Blake's sudden tension. "Keep calm- all will be revealed soon enough."

"Hey, where did you get that?" Nora asked suddenly, eyeing the can of soda.

"Oh, I keep a basically endless supply of Mountain Dew downstairs," Crazy shrugged. "It's my fuel."

"And you didn't think to offer some to your guests?!"

Crazy blinked. "Would... anyone like some Mountain Dew?"

He rose to his feet as everyone nodded. "Alright, I'll go get some. You can keep watching in the meantime- I know this story front and back."

**My grandfather was the only one who really understood- Vincent Arc. He told me he understood because he used to have similar powers- he said his own grandfather had ascended to the heavens and stolen the fire of the gods, claiming it for his own, and that the power he and I held were remnants of that original flame. He taught me to control my power, so I never hurt anyone by accident, and could filter out people's thoughts that I didn't want to hear. I loved him... but he passed away a year ago.**

_**His last words to me were, "I worried for you, my boy- but now, I know. Even if she does come back... you'll be ready."**_

_**...I never understood what he meant by that...**_

**Outside, a streak of fire pierced the sky, and a crash echoed across the neighborhood, causing the very earth to tremble.**

_**...Until tonight.**_

**Inside his room, Jaune suddenly sat bolt upright with a yelp, glancing around in surprise. "What was **_**that?**_**"**

**On the outside, he heard countless restless voices- the voices of his sisters, still up at this hour, celebrating the end of the school year and the start of their summer vacation. He stood and pulled on his famed Pumpkin Pete's hoodie before exiting into the hallway.**

"Pfft- what is _that?!_" Ruby burst out laughing, pointing at the front of the hoodie.

"That- er, that's Jaune's Pumpkin Pete's hoodie," Pyrrha explained, glancing away with red cheeks.

"_It's got a cute little bunny on it!_"

"Hey, don't diss the bunny!" Nora declared indignantly, just as a blob of orange fur jumped up on her lap. "Oh! Who're you, little guy?"

Sitting on her lap was one of the dopiest-looking cats in existence, looking up at her with a bright smile on its face. Her heart melted immediately. "Oh, aren't you just adorable! Yes you are, yes you are!"

"I see you've met Nacho," came Crazy's voice as he returned with several cans of soda in hand. "He's a dumb one, but a sweet one."

As he began passing the soda around, Nora eagerly turned to Ren. "Can we keep him, Ren? Can we keep him? Can we, can we, can we?"

"Nora, he already belongs to someone," Ren pointed out.

"But he's so _fluffly!_"

She turned to pet him some more, only to see him making his way over to Weiss, who winced away from the mass amount of tangled fur. "I hope you don't think I'd risk... dirtying... my... hands..."

Her harsh words failed as Nacho tilted his head at her and let out an adorable little squeak that must have passed for a meow. She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm holding onto you and never letting go!" She cried.

Crazy laughed. "Yeah, he tends to have that effect on people. Shall we continue?"

**Jaune emerged from his room and proceeded down the hallway, descending the stairs to find his sisters milling around, trying to decide what to do, his mother attempting to keep all of them calm. **

"**Oh, Jaune!" she called out, eyes brightening when she saw him. "Could you do me a favor? Go out and see if you can find whatever made that crash? I don't think your sisters will sleep again until you do!"**

"**Sure thing, Mom," Jaune nodded, smiling wearily as he passed his sisters wishing him good luck en masse.**

"How many sisters does he _have?_" Blake quirked a brow.

"Oh- seven," Pyrrha responded. "He told me at the dance."

"Seven sisters..." Yang proclaimed, absentmindedly scratching Nacho's ears as he made his way over to her lap. "Seven sisters!" Her eyes started glowing. "Seven sisters!"

"Oh, boy," Ruby pulled away. "Her instincts are kicking in..."

"Good thing I slipped some sleeping pills into her drink," Crazy mused, taking another swig of his own.

"Seven sist- er... oh... they're kicking in... yeah... feeling tired now..."

She collapsed back onto the couch.

"I hope you did the same for Nora's," Ren noted, taking a swig.

"You kidding? I put enough tranquilizers in hers to kill an elephant."

**Jaune checked to make sure he had decent coverage before heading out into the night, immediately spying several police officers congregating on the site. "Wow..."**

**He began climbing the hillside towards the top, where he could spy a strange glow, ignoring the police officers muttering amongst themselves and chomping on donuts as he made his way to the top, where he spied more cops attempting to erect a blockade- they were being hindered by a teenage girl in a red dress with long, dark hair.**

**One of the cops noticed him. "Oh, you're Jaune Arc, right?"**

"**That's me," Jaune nodded. **

"**You live next to Cinder Fall, right?"**

"**Yeah- I'd call us friends," Jaune shrugged.**

"**Well, can you talk to her? She's kind of getting in our way."**

**Jaune smiled and shook his head. "I'll see what I can do."**

"Cinder?" Ruby asked. "Isn't she one of those transfer students from Haven?"

"Yup," Crazy nodded, casually picking up his phone, suddenly ringing violently. He casually silenced it and took a seat to ignore the sudden deluge of angry messages from George, demanding Cinder's head on a pike _right this minute. _"That's the one."

**Jaune approached her. "Hey, uh, Cinder, maybe you could-"**

"**Oh, Jaune!" Cinder proclaimed, smiling in an indescribably unpleasant way when she saw him approaching. "Fancy seeing **_**you **_**out this late. Heard the disturbance, huh?"**

"**It was pretty loud- I'm sure they heard it all the way in Fourside-"**

"**Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great," Cinder interrupted. "Listen, why don't you just head back home? I'm fine here, but you're bugging the officers. Just relax until tomorrow, when I tell you all about it. Sound good?"**

**Jaune rolled his eyes, knowing she was past the point of arguing with. "If you say so, Cinder." He turned around and marched off down the hill.**

"Jaune knows her?" Pyrrha asked, eyebrows narrowing in suspicion.

"Only in this world," Crazy spoke up before things could get uglier than they had to. "They're barely aware of each other's existence back home-"

All the phones around the house started ringing- pretty amazing, considering the prior lack of such phones. Crazy sighed. "Just a sec- George _really _wants to get a hold of me."

Everyone stared as he left the room, then turned back to the screen.

**Jaune returned home with little trouble, and assured his family that whatever was going on, the police had it well in hand. As they settled down, he returned upstairs and attempted to get back to sleep.**

**Later that night...**

**Jaune awoke once more at the sound of rapid knocking at the front door. Recognizing the pattern, he sighed wearily, pulling his hoodie back on and descending the stairs. Only one of his sisters was up this time.**

"**Hey, Jaune," she greeted. "I guess you heard, too?"**

"**Yup, hard to miss," Jaune grumbled. **

**He crossed the room to the front door and swung it open to reveal a rather panicky-looking Cinder dashing in. "Hey! Hey! Listen to the words coming out of my mouth!" she demanded. "We've got trouble, Jaune! **_**Big trouble!**_**"**

"**What- what's going on?" Jaune asked, fighting back a yawn.**

"**Well, I was helping the cops with their roadblock when they got news that the arcade was getting roughed up by the Cardinals- you know the Cardinals, right?"**

"**Everyone in Onette knows about the Cardinals," Jaune sighed, wishing she'd just get to the point.**

"The Cardinals?" Blake voiced the thought on everyone's mind. "I don't like the sound of that..."

"You think it's Cardin?" Ruby asked, eyes narrowing.

"It does sound feasible," Ren agreed, nodding as he glanced over to check on Nora- the tranquilizers were, at least, enough to keep her in her seat for now.

"**Right, right," Cinder nodded. "Anyways, I took my sister, Cindy, up to the top of the hill-"**

"Cinder and Cindy?" Yang chuckled. "I love the creativity of their parents."

The others seemed ready to laugh when an outburst came from the kitchen. "FOR THE LAST TIME, I DIDN'T TOUCH DEMON DOG! I DON'T KNOW _HOW _SHE GOT PREGNANT!"

They all stared as Crazy reappeared in the doorway, panting. An awkward silence fell as he returned to his recliner.

"Um... do we want to-" Ruby started.

"No," Crazy shook his head. "No, you don't."

...

"**And we checked things out, but then... stuff happened... and I had to run. Now I don't know where Cindy is!" **

"**She's still up there?" Jaune leapt to his feet, eyes widening.**

"**I just **_**said **_**I don't know!" Cinder crossed her arms. "Ugh, this is all those cops' fault! Definitely not mine, not at all!"**

"**Well, we gotta go find her!"**

"**Glad to see we're on the same page," Cinder more smirked than smiled. **

"**Yeah, just let me... yeah, I'm ready!" Jaune nodded.**

**He reached for the knob, but was distracted by a phone nearby ringing. **

"**Aren't you gonna get that?" Cinder asked. "Dad gets mad if **_**I **_**don't get the phone by the third ring."**

**Jaune nodded then turned and grabbed it off the counter. Lifting it to his ear, his heart leapt when he heard his father's voice. "Hey, son."**

"**Dad!" Jaune beamed. "It's been a while- where you at?"**

"**Closing a deal in Ellay," he responded. "Should be back in a week or so."**

Weiss suddenly started squirming uncomfortably. "His father... he's distant?"

"Round this world, yeah," Crazy agreed. "He _does _love his son, but he also has a very busy job that takes him all over the world... all the time."

Another awkward silence fell- Crazy decided to break it by hitting play.

**Jaune's father chuckled. "'Work to exhaustion when you're young...'" he quoted. "Weird saying, huh? Ever heard it?"**

"**Can't say I have," Jaune shook his head. **

"**Well, as always, call me whenever you need me- I always have time to hear about my boy's adventures. I feel like a hero- or, the father of a hero, at least."**

**Jaune smiled. "Yeah, of course."**

That brought a smile back to the audience's face- he might not be present, but his father clearly _was _doing what he could to remain a part of his son's life.

"**Good luck, m'boy," his father finished, before hanging up.**

**Jaune turned around, rolled his shoulders, and beckoned to Cinder. "Come on, let's go."**

**Cinder said nothing as he led them out of the door and back up the hill.**

**They were only roughly halfway up when they were waylaid by a whispering voice- "Psst... psst!"**

**Jaune cringed as he followed the sound to its source- a rotund man peering out from behind a building. "Hello... Mr. Port."**

"Ugh, not _him!_" Yang groaned. "I thought we got away from him by coming here!"

"Sorry- he's gonna appear every now and again, too," Crazy shrugged.

"**Jaune, my boy!" he whispered from his front porch. "I've found something truly fascinating- I **_**must **_**show someone! Meet me tomorrow- when you're alone." He glanced pointedly in Cinder's direction as he said this.**

"Well, that's not suspicious at all," Nora crossed her arms.

"Yeah, but I'm sure Georgie would sooner trust him than Cinder," Crazy commented, casually leaning back in his chair. "He... doesn't like her very much."

"**Yeah, sure, whatever," Jaune waved him aside.**

"**...That guy creeps me out," Cinder muttered as she took point. Jaune had many things he could say in response, but chose to hold his tongue instead.**

"For calling her a friend, Jaune doesn't seem to care much for her either," Blake noted.

"She has a rather inflated sense of ego," Crazy commented. "She thinks she's a much bigger deal than she actually is, and doesn't take kind to anyone who even implies otherwise. Jaune doesn't know it, but she's ruined a few schoolmates' lives because they angered her."

"Hmm... I'm starting not to like her much, either," Nora muttered, narrowing her eyes at the young woman. Everyone else nodded along.

**Finally, they arrived at the crest of the hill, where a large, flaming chunk of rock had embedded itself. "Wow!" Jaune exclaimed, eyes wide as they took in the view. **

"Wow!" everyone else agreed.

"Aliens~," Nora singsonged.

"**Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful, let's move," Cinder waved aside.**

**Beneath a nearby tree was a girl a couple years younger than Cinder, identical except for shorter hair and dressed in jeans and t-shirt instead of red dress. She was snoozing away, looking like she hadn't a care in the world.**

"**CIIIIIIIINDYYYYYYY!" Cinder screeched, reaching out and waking her up by pulling her into a tight hug. "My precious little sister, we need to get going and make it home before Mom and Dad do **_**right now!**_**"**

**Throughout this, Cindy was still wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Uuuhn... what happened?" She smiled slightly when she spied Jaune. "Oh- hey, Jaune." Her eyes narrowed again when they fell on her sister. "Hey, what's the big idea leaving me behind, Cinder?"**

"**Yeah, yeah, that's great, we need to get moving," Cinder grunted, clearly paying no attention whatsoever.**

"Not a great sister, either," Yang commented. "If I lost Rubes, I'd be worried about a little more than what Dad would say."

"Yeah," Crazy smiled nervously, accentuating it with an odd chuckle. "I... of course you would..."

Yang's eyes fell on him, but shortly returned to the screen.

"**Hey..." Cindy asked, still rubbing her eyes. "Do you two... hear something?"**

**Jaune listened as hard as he could, and heard a faint buzzing noise. "Yeah... it kind of sounds like a bee..."**

**Abruptly, a column of light appeared from the meteorite, reaching up into the sky. A faint, dark dot appeared at the bottom, and floated up, the faint buzzing following. A calm, soothing voice emerged from it- one they had not heard before. "A bee I am... not."**

"OZPIN?" Pyrrha gasped.

"Man, looking good," Yang broke into guffaws. "You gotta tell me your secrets, Oz, how'd you lose so much weight?!"

"**Listen, Chosen One, and hold what I say to be true," the speck drew nearer to Jaune Arc. "My name is Ozpin, and I come from ten years in the future, where all is devastation. Salem, the Universal Cosmic Destroyer, appeared and condemned all to the horror of eternal darkness."**

"Man, I love that game," Crazy sighed happily, attracting some odd looks.

"**However, I knew that not all was lost- I returned to this time to fulfill a prophecy echoed down since the dawn of time itself- 'When the Chosen One reaches the point, he will find the light. The passing of time will shatter the nightmare, and the path to light will be revealed.' I believe that you, Jaune Arc, are that boy."**

"Wow, thanks, mysterious, talking bee from the future," Weiss crossed her arms and gave into her Will to Snark (TM.) "Pop out of nowhere and tell me I'm destined to save the universe, please!"

"It's rather sudden," Ren agreed, "but if you can think of another way of going about it, I'd love to hear."

Everyone turned to Weiss, who turned red. She attempted to hide this by burying her face in Nacho's fur. He didn't complain- he actually seemed to appreciate it quite a bit.

**Jaune seemed to agree with her, though, standing there, mouth opening and closing in shock. "I... but... but I..."**

"**Do not worry," Ozpin assured him. "You will not travel alone. The legends tell of two girls and a boy who will travel with you and help to fulfill your destiny- and I plan to assist you in any way I can."**

"Two girls and a boy?" Nora broke into a grin. "Sounds like Team JNPR to me!"

"So, what, Team RWBY doesn't get a piece of the action?" Ruby crossed her arms and pouted.

"Oh, no, you exist in this world, too," Crazy interrupted. "Just... in a different place, a different time. You _do _have your part to play, though."

"**T-two girls and a boy?" Cinder spoke up, her eyes wide. "I- I'm not one of those girls, am I? I... I'm not into this kind of thing at all."**

"Oh, no, you're not getting in the way! TEAM JNPR FOREVER!" Nora declared, only to shrink as Ren and Crazy both produced tranquilizer guns and aimed them threateningly.

"**I do not believe so, child," Ozpin denied, "but nonetheless... everyone has their part to play in the great tapestry of the universe."**

"Still likes talkin' in flip-flops, I see," Yang noted.

"Well, if you needed proof that it was him," Ruby smiled.

"**Uh-huh," Cinder grunted, clearly not seeing the beauty of his words. "Well, let's start by getting home, then."**

"**A sound suggestion," Ozpin agreed, following as they returned down the hill.**

**They were almost to the front door when there was a flash of light, and a man appeared in front of them- tall, in white clothing, with black hair, and a wicked, manic grin. "Oh, **_**hello, **_**Ozpin."**

"**Tyrian," Ozpin grunted, not sounding nearly so happy.**

"Tyrian?" Pyrrha repeated. "As in, George KillYourSelfTyrian?"

"That's not his actual name," Crazy chuckled. "I just call him that because it drives him nuts."

A message suddenly passed in front of the screen, in the style of an emergency broadcast. _I much prefer George KillYourSelfCinder._

"Oh, great... he's hacking into my tv," Crazy sighed. "Or, more likely, he's getting Futaba to do it for him... back in a sec."

The others exchanged odd glances, then returned to the tv.

"**You thought you could just run out on Lady Salem, and she'd make no move to follow?" Tyrian cackled. "You truly are as arrogant and foolish as she always said!"**

**Jaune staggered back as Ozpin flew into the forefront- it was as if an invisible force had slammed into him. "Stay back, children!" Ozpin declared. "This is one of Salem's lieutenants- far beyond your current skill to handle!"**

"**Watch me!" Cindy cheered, jumping back to her feet. "I just need time to finish my magic spell..."**

"**...Leaving this to you, Jauney." Cinder bravely hid behind him.**

"**...Thanks, Cinder. Love you too," Jaune muttered.**

Pyrrha twitched at even the sarcastic love confession. She didn't spy Ruby doing the same.

**Tyrian made to attack Jaune right out of the gate, but Ozpin moved far too quickly for him, appearing and smashing into his gut, knocking him backwards. It was truly a bizarre sight- given Ozpin's size, it almost looked as though Tyrian were being attacked by an invisible being.**

"This kind of reminds me of that tv show we caught Ruby watching that one time," Yang mused.

"Where someone proved their toughness by having his friend beat himself up?" Blake commented.

Yang smirked at Ruby's blush. "'Wow, you beat that guy up without even touching him!'"

"Shut up," Ruby muttered, seizing Nacho from Weiss's lap and pulling him to her own, burying her face in his fur. Once again, he didn't really seem to mind. Would that we could all roll with the punches that well.

**Tyrian spun around, attempting to strike Ozpin, but it was like trying to swat a particularly fast and intelligent fly- that was also beating him to a bloody pulp.**

**Finally, his smile disappeared. "Enough- I will **_**not **_**return to Lady Salem in defeat! Psi Fire!"**

**Their eyes widened as a stream of fire emerged from his hands and directed itself at the teenagers- only to dissipate without ever touching them. Hovering in between them was Ozpin, his arms outstretched- though they could hardly see it.**

**Tyrian's rage grew. "Psi Freeze!"**

**A bolt of ice appeared and rushed towards them, but Ozpin intercepted- it was about to make contact with him when it simply... disappeared.**

"**You lack the technique to break my defenses," Ozpin spoke, almost scolding him, in a way. "The one power you never learned will now be your undoing."**

**Tyrian howled as Ozpin flew, higher and higher, before declaring, in a loud, booming voice- "Psi Thunder!"**

**A great cloud appeared overhead, brimming with electricity that discharged down upon the man, who screeched as it smote him. By the time the ensuing cloud of dust cleared, he was gone.**

"Yeesh, what a way to go," Yang winced.

"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy," Pyrrha cringed, "but... sometimes, needs must, I suppose."

**Cinder's eyes were wide at the display of sheer power before her. "With that power..." she murmured, keeping any further thoughts to herself.**

**Ozpin returned to Jaune. "He will hardly be the only obstacle on your journey to defeat Salem. Her influence stretches far and wide, influencing the hearts and minds of all. Most need only be defeated to return to their senses, but her most loyal minions cannot be stopped by anything short of true annihilation."**

**Jaune stepped back nervously. "I... I can't do that... I can't fight the way you do."**

"**Not yet," Ozpin agreed, "but I have faith that, in time, you will come to surpass me. You must master the power passed down to you by your grandfather, and his grandfather before him- you must master the power of Psi."**

"**Psi..." Jaune wondered, gazing at his own hands.**

"That's the name of the power?" Weiss asked, quirking a brow.

"Indeed," Crazy nodded. "It comes from Salem's people, who abducted Jaune's ancestors, George and Maria Arc, many decades ago. In an effort to escape, George harnessed the power of psi and returned to earth, where he passed it to his grandson... among others."

"So humanity's greatest chance at stopping this... Salem is to use the very power she might use to dominate others?" Weiss summed up.

"Don't you love bringing irony to a gunfight?" Crazy smiles.

"**The way everyone uses psi is unique," Ozpin continues, "but I sense great potential within you- the power to heal... and to protect. I will teach you to harness your power and turn it against those who have fallen under Salem's spell."**

**Jaune pulled away slightly. "I... I don't want to hurt anyone."**

**Ozpin's voice grew warmer. "A surer sign than any that Salem holds no sway over you. Make the power your own- you can determine whether it is a weapon to attack... or a shield to defend."**

**Jaune gazed at his hands a while longer, before nodding. "I... I think I understand."**

"**Good. Now, let us press on- the sun will be rising soon, and even as we speak, Salem draws power in the east."**

**They all entered Cinder's home, where they were met by the horrifying sight of Aloysius and Lardna Fall.**

Quite a few spit takes abounded. "_Lardna?!" _Yang coughed, struggling not to give up her lungs.

"What sort of parent-" Ren wondered, aghast.

"-would put their daughter though having that name?!" Nora completed the thought.

"The Falls of this world are... interesting," Crazy smiled, recording their reactions for later posting on the internet. He knew websites that would pay a pretty penny for this.

Nacho felt Ruby's soda spew from her mouth onto his head, flicked an ear, and rolled over to expose his belly. Ruby's eyes softened when she saw, and she was unable to resist cooing and rubbing it with everything she had.

**Aloysius was the first to speak, looking very much like a walrus as he rose to his full height. "Now, what have you been doing out there, girls? We explicitly forbade you from leaving this house after nightfall!"**

The viewers covered their ears against the _thorough _unpleasantness of Aloysius Fall's voice.

"**We're sorry, we're sorry!" Cinder and Cindy begged for mercy- but their father had none to give.**

"**You two are really going to get it!" he roared, pursuing them upstairs, screams ringing loud and clear from above.**

"Okay, new idea- the entire _family _is all sorts of messed up!" Nora suggested.

"It _does _seem that Cindy is the only relatively normal one," Ren agreed.

**This hypothesis went further when Aloysius returned down the stairs just as his blob of a wife was muttering, "He's far too gentle on those girls. Oh, well- nice guys finish last, I suppose- story of our lives."**

Her voice did the impossible and actually surpassed Aloysius's in terms of unpleasantness- Blake in particular was actually considering destroying her eardrums just to escape it.

"**Now you, boy," Aloysius turned his gaze towards Jaune. "I don't like you hanging around my daughters like that. I don't even like you living next door, ever since my family's loan to yours! It must have reached ten grand by now, and we're forced to live in poverty because of **_**your **_**layabout father!"**

Remembering how Jaune's father struggled to get home once a week, he was working so hard, seven glares found themselves directed at the man.

**Ozpin didn't seem to appreciate it much either, buzzing closer, almost as if wondering if they might be under Salem's influence themse-**

"**Aaaagggahhidsgdishgdigdshiiiiieeeee!" Lardna screeched, **forcing Yang to pull a pair of scissors away from Blake before she really _did _puncture her eardrums, **"I think it's a dung beetle!"**

**She brought her hands together with a resounding smack, and Ozpin fell to the floor.**

"**Ozpin!" Jaune cried, reaching down, scooping him up, and dashing outside.**

"Oh, my!" Weiss gasped, raising a hand to her chin.

"That _bitch!" _Yang growled- if she still had her semblance, she'd be flaring by now.

"Ozpin!" Ruby cried.

"That's it- they might be short and stumpy, but I'm breaking her legs anyways! _Lemme at her, Ren!_"

"She's not actually here, Nora," Ren pointed out, holding her back somewhat half-heartedly, with the assistance of a very shocked Pyrrha.

Blake bit her lip, but remained silent.

**Jaune rushed into the safety of his own backyard before depositing Ozpin on the ground. He coughed faintly. "It appears... I was weaker... than I thought..."**

"**Don't give out, Ozpin, stay with me!" Jaune begged. "You just told me about this big destiny, without you, I don't even know where to start!"**

"**You start... with this."**

**Jaune blinked- right next to Ozpin, a small stone had appeared- perfectly round, polished to nearly a mirror shine, and a beautiful translucent blue.**

"**That... is the sound stone," Ozpin explained. "You must go on a pilgrimage to eight sites around your world- eight sites that belong entirely to you, and nobody else. Your sanctuaries. There, the stone will record a little more of you- who you are, truly, beneath everything else. Once you have absorbed the power of all eight sites... you will have the power you need to stop Salem."**

"**I still don't know where to start- please, don't leave me!"**

"**The first sanctuary is near- it is in this town. I believe... the people call it Giant Step. That... must be your first destination. If I could have traveled with you across this great land... and seen you through to the end of your journey... I would have. However... my time... has come..."**

**He spoke no more.**

There wasn't a single dry eye among the viewers- Ruby, Weiss, Yang, and Nora were currently fighting to determine who got to use Nacho as a tissue. As ever, he didn't seem to mind- he remained politely befuddled by all the attention.

**Jaune's eyes teared up as he backed away, turning around and using his own hands to open a small hole in the ground, into which he deposited Ozpin's body- too small for him to even see properly- before burying it beneath a small mound. Glancing around, he spotted a pair of twigs- he stood them in the shape of a cross and marked the spot, unable to think of anything better on such short notice.**

_**What now? **_**he wondered. **_**Can I really trust what he said? It all sounds like so much... so sudden... but if the world is really in danger, can I afford to wait?**_

"I appreciate his dilemma," Pyrrha nodded sadly. "Rarely are we ready when Destiny comes calling, but... this..."

**He looked back up at the sky as the sun finally rose above the horizon, turning the world a brilliant blue. **_**...I'll go to Giant Step, **_**he decided. **_**I'll go there... and decide what to do after. **_

**He glanced back for a moment at the only grave he could summon for Ozpin, before turning and continuing on his way. "Thank you, Ozpin," he whispered. "I'll make sure it wasn't in vain."**

_XXXX_

The end of the first actual reaction. I'm trying to get a feel for how long these episodes ought to be- while balancing it with my other stories. Feel free to drop requests for situations, characters, and, of course, viewing material- I may not respond to every review, but I do read every one of them, and take them all into account. While you're at it, feel free to let me know if you're interested in seeing this saga play out, or if we ought to direct more attention elsewhere. Just... in general, please R&R, constructive criticism and requests welcome. Gamer4 out.


	3. Eye of the Dragon

Gamer4 in. I wanna take a brief moment to tell you about my friend, GeorgeKYST, known on this site as ALonelyTactician, who has just begun his first story- Remnants of Twilight, setting the story of Legend of Zelda, Twilight Princess within the world of RWBY. He specifically asked me not to shill for him, but I'm doing it anyways, because it drives him nuts- and driving Georgie nuts is what keeps me going! In all seriousness, he's just getting started, so I'm sure he can use all the support he can get. Okay, that was about a moment- let's dive in!

Disclaimer: Huuuuuuhhhhhh... Live A Live belongs to Square Enix- though they went under the name Squaresoft at the time.

Episode II

Eye of the Dragon

The guests gazed around the room- their host had disappeared, saying he had to take care of something real quick.

That had been an hour ago.

"Where could that dunce have _gone?_" Weiss wondered.

"He better not have just left us here," Yang snarled, slamming one fist into the other.

"Oh! Maybe he's part of a big government conspiracy, and he just went to contact his evil overlords and turn us over so they can run all sorts of experiments on us!" Nora cried. "Renny, I don't _want _experiments being run on me, unless they help me eat more pancakes!"

"I doubt that's the case," Ren spoke reassuringly. "I'm certain whatever he went to do is merely taking longer than expected."

The sound of laughter echoed from downstairs- very _tipsy _laughter. "Oh, I coulda danshed all night... I coulda danshed all night..."

The guests all stood and turned to see Crazy returning up the stairs, being assisted by another young man who looked startlingly like Ren, though his eyes were violet, as was the streak in his hair, and Ren's green clothing had been swapped for a blue pallet. Crazy was draped over his shoulder, grinning like an imbecile. "George... George, George, _Geoooooorge... _Yur muh besht fren, you no dat, rite?"

"Yes, Crazy, I'm quite aware," the new arrival nodded, rolling his eyes as he carried Crazy up the last couple steps and unceremoniously dumped him back into his seat- he landed face-first, but made no move to turn over.

"Who're you?!" Nora asked immediately, eyes narrowing with suspicion. "I knew it, Ren! He's with the Ozluminati! They've already got a clone of you, they're working on us now!"

"I'm not a clone of Ren!" the man interrupted, raising his hands in surrender as Nora advanced on him with a hammer. "I'm GeorgeKYST- Crazy's editor!"

"You mean, you're the one who brought us here?" Ruby asked, eyes widening.

George sighed. "_I _brought you here? Is _that _what he told you?"

"You're saying he was lying?" Pyrrha asked in surprise.

"No... I think _he _thinks he was telling the truth," George sighed again. "But he has something of an overactive imagination- he likely brought you here and imagined that I was the one to do it."

"So, can _you _send us back home?" Ruby asked eagerly, eyes wide with hope.

"I wish," George grunted. "The rest of what he said was right- now that you're here, nobody can send you back until some sort of story's been told."

"Or every particle of our bodies will explode at the speed of light, right?" Yang arched an eyebrow.

"Oh, _that's _what he told you," George blinked. "Yeah... sure, let's go with that."

The guests glanced at each other uneasily.

"Sorry for the wait- the Hand over here went back to his own world for Christmas," George explained, preparing a seat for himself on the sofa. "Different time streams, and all- one hour for you was over a month for him."

"I wersh... I wersh lookin' at da... udder worlds," Crazy grunted into the chair, his face still pressed into the seat.

"...Yes. And when he is recounting the events of other worlds, it's _my _job to look over his work and ensure he doesn't stray too far from the actual events," George related. "And let me tell you, keeping him under control... it's quite a handful."

He glanced at Ren, a bond forming beyond words- they may not be clones, but they certainly felt like brothers as they glanced at their respective burdens- one blinking in confusion, the other still rambling into a chair's cushion.

"And... why's he... like that?" Blake asked slowly.

"Christmas celebration," George shrugged. "He got drunk."

"How much did he have?" Pyrrha asked, eyes wide.

"One hard orange soda," George recalled. "He's... bad at holding his liquor."

"I... iz da alpha n' omega... begginin n' end... da fursht n' da lasht..."

George clapped his hands together. "So, while _he's _out of commission, let's get another world on!"

"We're changing worlds?" Nora griped. "But I wanted to see Jaune-Jaune go out and kick some alien butt!"

"I'm sure Crazy will come back to that world later," George assured her. "But for now, he said he wants to switch gears a little- he said this world doesn't feature Jaune, per se."

"No Jaune-Jaune?" Nora gasped. "But... I thought that was the whole point here!"

"I'm not the watcher here," George began, "but I think he said that you all exist in this world- but hundreds or even thousands of years apart. You each have your own part to play in this story, and he figured you might start feeling left out if it was all Jaune all the time."

Everyone glanced between each other. "So... who's this one about?"

George presented the disc containing the next world- _Eye of the Dragon, starring Yang Xiao Long._

Weiss huffed. "I'm beginning to think this dolt simply has a fascination for blonds."

"Hey, can you blame him?" Yang asked, waggling her eyebrows. "Blondes _do _have more fun, no?"

Weiss flushed. "Silence, you oaf!"

George leaned back, making sure Crazy didn't suffocate as he waited for everyone to settle down before plugging the disc in. "Okay, based on what he told me, Yang's story takes place right around what we would call the present day. Let's see here..."

XXXX

**Yang appears on a dark background, marching towards the screen with a determined look on her face. "My mother left me when I was young," came a voiceover, despite her lips not moving. "Something about family ties making her weak."**

Ruby winced as she glanced at her sister, who had suddenly turned stone-faced.

"...Yang?" Weiss asked, hardly alone in glancing at her in sympathy.

"...I don't wanna talk about it."

"**When I turned thirteen, I threw myself into endless training, in the vain hope that my mother would somehow see the strength I would attain, and return home."**

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk, Yang?"

"Positive."

"**By the time I turned eighteen, I'd grown wiser- I realized that simply wouldn't happen. My goal changed- I traveled around the world to learn from every martial art I could. I said my new goal was to become the strongest person alive- and to an extent, that was true, but even all my strength was only a means to an end. My true goal was to find my mother for myself...**

"**And kick the everloving **_**shit **_**out of her."**

This, at last, broke Yang's solemn demeanor, breaking into a grin instead. "Okay, this is starting to sound more like me now."

**A montage began, showing Yang traveling across all the kingdoms of Remnant- with each kingdom, she picked up a new training technique, learning and practicing until she could conquer even the masters of that art. A song played in the backround-**

"**Rising up, back on the street!**

**Did my time, took my chances!**

**Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet,**

**Just a man, and the will to survive!"**

"**So many times, it happens too fast-**

**You trade your passion for glory!**

**Don't lose your grip on your dreams of the past-**

**You must fight just to keep them alive!"**

"**It's the eye of the dragon, it's the thrill of the fight!**

**Rising up to the challenge of your rivals!**

'**Til the last known survivor's stalking prey in the night,**

**and is watching us all with the eye**

**of the dragon!"**

Yang was truly grinning now, bobbing her head eagerly in time with the music, watching herself grow stronger and stronger.

"**My journey finally brought me to the current four strongest people in the world- to defeat them would be to achieve my goal- I would be the strongest person alive, and my mother would no longer be able to ignore me."**

**Today, my journey takes me to Peter Port, a champion fighter from Vale, my own hometown.**

Had anyone been drinking at that moment, they'd have done a spit take. "_Port?!_"

"Port's a champion in this world?!" Yang gasped. "Not just a champion- one of the six strongest people alive?!"

"**He is well-known for his weight, but I know better than to underestimate him- that was Edgar's mistake."**

Nobody had the first clue who 'Edgar' was, but the tone with which the other world's Yang recalled it sent shivers down their spines.

**Yang approaches a swimming pool, and her eyes narrow at the man standing on the other side in khaki shorts, a straw hat, and an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, smirking at her from beneath his prominent moustache. **

"AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

"MY EYES! MY EYES! THEY TOOK MY EYES!"

"**Glad to see you got my challenge letter," Yang smirked, crossing her arms.**

"**Quite the ambitious one, aren't you?" Port asks, as the two begin circling the pool. "Surely, there must be something driving one such as you- dear girl, confess to me your strife!"**

"**I ain't here to chat, old man," Yang grins, cracking her knuckles. "I'm here to beat you down then keep on going down the list!"**

"**You're certain you wouldn't like to sit down for some tea first-"**

**He stops just in time to dodge one of Yang's strikes, driven furiously past him, smashing a table less than a foot away.**

"**I see not. Very well, have at thee!"**

"Do you really have to pick a fight with him, sis?" Ruby asked. "I mean, he _was _kinda minding his own business..."

"No, she said she sent a letter to challenge him," Pyrrha interrupted, surprising everyone at the sparkle in her emerald eyes. "He answered the challenge- as anyone in his position ought to. She's not picking on him for no good reason- this a battle between sportsman, for glory or death!"

"Kinda going overboard with the whole 'death' thing," Yang rubbed the back of her head. "But aside from that, yeah, what she said!"

**Port began to turn in place- Yang tilted her head in confusion as his pace increased, growing faster and faster, until a tornado appeared almost from nowhere, tearing its way across the pool towards her. She panicked as she barely managed to dodge.**

"**Aha!" Port called after her. "You know how to hit things, but without technique, you are destined to fail!"**

"**Don't patronize me, old man!" Yang fired back. "I've got technique coming out of my ears!"**

"How did he do that?" Weiss asked, taken aback. "A semblance? Dust?"

"Just a sec," George raised a hand as he ruffled through some papers. "Crazy left me some notes... er... '_Just go with it._' Huh- that's unusual. He usually spends all night thinking of _some _BS explanation, at least..."

**Yang charged towards her opponent again, leaping clear across the pool just in time for Port to seize her by her upper arm and throw her right back.**

**She grunted as she landed roughly in the deep end, glaring up at her chortling opponent. "It is not enough to throw strength around so lightly! You must direct your anger, channel it into usable form!"**

"**You mean like this?"**

**She began turning in place, much to the bemusement of Port-**

And the audience. "Wait..." Nora's eyes widened, excitement creeping in. "Is she actually-"

"Surely not!" Weiss spluttered.

**She increased her pace until a twister was formed around her, tearing towards Port, whose eyes widened as he was attacked with his own technique. He attempts to dodge, but is caught in the wind and thrown in Yang's direction- she manages to catch him by the upper arm and throw him into the pool's wall with all her strength, forming a sizeable crater before charging him and hailing down upon him with rapid punches. "Yield!"**

**Finally, Port's hand made its way out of the maelstrom of fists, and tapped against the side of the pool. "I concede!" he called. "I... concede."**

**Yang stepped away, smiling in victory as Port collapsed to the pool, battered, clearly exhausted, but grinning. "To think you could learn my technique and turn it against me so **_**quickly...**_** perhaps you truly **_**are **_**worthy of the title you are attempting to achieve."**

"He's not _upset?" _Blake asked in surprise. "She just stole his technique and used it against him- shouldn't he be mad at her?"

"Perhaps in a tournament setting, if this was being done professionally," Pyrrha mused. "But as this seems to be for notoriety more than anything else, perhaps he is actually proud that he is able to pass his teachings on to the next generation."

"That _does _sound like him," Ruby mused.

"**Well, there's only one way to know for sure," Yang crossed her arms. "Where's Goodwitch?"**

**Port smiles. "She's removed herself to the fields of Mistral. I'm sure she'll accept your challenge, if you can find her- but don't think she'll go down quite so easy as I."**

**He reached into a pocket and produced a thin piece of parchment paper, seemingly random lines across it. "Here, take this. You've earned it."**

"**And what is it?" Yang asked, accepting it. **

"**Should you topple Goodwitch and Neon... you will know."**

**Yang shrugged, then turned and clambered out of the pool.**

"**Child!" he called after her one last time.**

"**Yeah?"**

"**Should you ever wish to talk... I will be here."**

**Yang smiled to herself. "You know what, old man? When I'm done... I may just take you up on that offer."**

**Port grinned as he watched her take off into the distance, content even in defeat.**

"**Pathetic," came a cold voice from nearby.**

**He turned and arched an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"**

Everyone blinked in surprise as the scene changed without warning. "Wait, what? Who was that?" Weiss asked indignantly.

George pored through the notes again. "Er... _'I guess you'll find out, won't you?" _He sighed. "Bastard..."

"Another kitty!" Nora interrupted, grinning as a black-and-white feline jumped up on Crazy's unconscious, snoring body. "Oh, I'm gonna love it and hold it and squeeze it-"

"NonononoNONONO!" George cried, moving to stop her- too late. The cat hissed and lashed out at her, scratching up her hand.

"Ow!" Nora cried, pulling away. "Ren, that cat's _evil!_"

"That's Nala," George explains. "She's psychotic- she hates everybody in the multiverse except for Crazy." Sure enough, Nala switched from furious to sweet almost immediately, pushing her head into Crazy's fallen hand, seemingly oblivious to his delirious state of unconsciousness.

"Hey, why don't you try talking to her?" Yang suggested, smirking at Blake. "One cat to another- I'm sure you can work something out.

Blake sighed, but headed over. "Here, kitty... here, kitty..."

The cat's nostrils seemed to dilate, before she lashed out even more furiously than before, pouncing at Blake, back arched, fur puffing out, hissing for everything she's worth.

"...I think she sees you as a rival," George can't help smirking. "Crazy's _her _human, not yours."

Blake scoffed nervously, retreating back to her seat. Immediately, Nala switched back to sweetness, cuddling up as close to the lump that was Crazy as she could.

"Oooookay, let's get back to the show, shall we?" George suggested.

**Yang traveled across the world of Remnant into the fields of Mistral, where she finally tracked down a farmstead owned by Glynda Goodwitch, a former Major in the Valean army- even now, out in her field picking fruit, she still wore her uniform. **

"Goodwitch, a general?" Ruby asked, eyes wide.

"Meh, I could actually see it," Yang shrugged.

**Goodwitch sighed upon hearing Yang's approach. "So, here comes another one determined to claim the title of world's strongest, hmm?"**

"**You got that right, lady," Yang smirked, smashing her fists together.**

"**For your own peace of mind, I recommend turning around right now- once you hold a title like that, everything is just an uphill battle- try though you might to remove yourself from the battlefield, there will always be some young upstart eager to challenge you."**

"**Don't threaten me with a good time."**

"Yup," Ruby sighed. "That's basically Yang's dream."

Pyrrha held her tongue- on the one hand, she had a certain love for battling as well, but the idea of people constantly tracking her down to challenge her- well, more so than they did already- wasn't one she found appealing.

**Goodwitch groans lightly. "Perhaps you would at least like some tea before-"**

**Yang interrupts by sending a tornado her way. She dodges deftly, and when the twister disappears, her uniform has disappeared in favor of a camo set-up more suited to battle. "Clearly not," she grunts, sounding disappointed. "Very well- have at you."**

**Yang attempts to grab her in the grip she'd learned from Port, but Goodwitch seizes her arms and pops her elbows- Yang pulls away and is surprised to find her arms refusing to move. **

"**All the strength in the world is useless if you cannot tap into it," Goodwitch points out calmly. "Will you concede now?"**

**Yang responds by attacking with kicks this time- Goodwitch seizes her legs and pops them as well, casting her to the ground before turning and walking away. "I commend your effort, but may I suggest training for a little longer before challenging me again? Twenty or so years ought to earn you the ghost of a chance."**

**Yang's eyes turned red. She groans, struggling to move, merely succeeding in turning herself over.**

"Something like this was bound to happen," Weiss pointed out. "You can only advance so far before finding someone better than you."

"Zip it, Ice Queen," Yang hissed, finding herself remarkably invested in her onscreen self's plight.

**As Yang struggled, she begins muttering to herself. "Hotter... than the sun... in the middle of July... I burn!"**

**Goodwitch hears her continued struggles, and turns to watch.**

"**Hotter than the sun... in the middle of July... I **_**burn!**_**"**

**Struggling with everything she has, she forces her right arm to move, whacking at one of her legs, pulling herself into a stooping position. **

"**Hotter than the sun in the middle of July, **_**I BURN!**_**"**

**She propels herself to her feet and rushes Goodwitch, driving her fist towards her face. Goodwitch moves to pop her arm again, but this time, Yang dodges, ducking down and popping Goodwitch's leg in return. Goodwitch's eyes widen in surprise as she staggers.**

**Yang pops up behind her back, driving her fist towards Goodwitch's face- Goodwitch successfully blocks, driving her fist into Yang's sternum. Yang falls back, winded, but stands up again almost unnaturally fast. "HOTTER THAN THE SUN IN THE MIDDLE OF JULY, I **_**BURN!**_**"**

**Goodwitch manages to shake off the paralysis in her leg, waiting for Yang to make the next move. Yang hesitates a little longer, before rushing in again. Goodwitch, foreseeing her next action, makes no move to protect from her obvious attack, instead defending from getting her arm paralyzed again- but this time, it wasn't a feint. Yang seizes Goodwitch in the same hold she learned from Port and tackles her to the ground. She drives her knee into her opponent's chest, arms pinning hers down. "Yield."**

**Goodwitch glares daggers at her... then slowly, the glare becomes a smile. **

"**A fast learner, are we? Small wonder you managed to defeat Port. With each victory, you grow ever stronger. If you are willing to take this burden off of my shoulders... who am I to argue? I concede."**

**Yang smiles, rising back to her feet and extending a hand to Goodwitch, who accepts, rising to her feet. **

Yang's jaw falls open. Somehow... in some way... her other self had defeated Goodwitch. Glynda Goodwitch.

Blake shot a smile in her direction. "Nice one, Yang."

"Very well done," Ren agreed.

"Oh- now _I _wanna crack at it!" Nora cheers brightly.

"**You better not have **_**let **_**me win, Gramma," Yang smiles.**

"**Of course not- peace is not worth a meaningless victory," Goodwitch denies. "Here- take this." She produces another thin piece of parchment paper, more lines drawn on it. "If I am correct, your next target will be Neon Katt. You'll find her in Atlas- fortunately for you, she doesn't blend in quite as well as I."**

"**I knew she'd be easiest to find," Yang smirked. "That's why I left her for last."**

"**Then get on your way," Goodwitch dismisses her. "Leave me to mine, and I'll leave you to yours."**

**Yang beams as she turns and takes off once more.**

**Later that day, Goodwitch had just finished attaining enough plums to make a decent pie for herself when another arrival made himself known. She turned to look at him. "Can I help you?"**

The audience stares with half-closed lids as the scene ended prematurely once more. "This guy really has a thing for pointless cliffhangers, doesn't he?" Yang asked.

"You have no _idea,_" George groaned. "You don't have to oversee his work."

Nala gave an indignant-sounding mew.

**The scene arrives in a wrestling ring, in which a faunus with a cat tail was in the middle of beating down a woman with long black hair and amber eyes. The faunus's eyes glimmer as she raises the woman above her head- "I wondered what would break first- your spirit, or your body!"**

**She then brought the woman down on her upraised knee.**

"That sounds oddly familiar," Pyrrha comments. "I feel like I've heard that somewhere before."

George rolled his eyes. "One chapter without a reference... I'd just like one chapter without a reference..." A smile broke over his face. "On the other hand... I think I'll record that scene for later."

**The crowd goes wild as Neon begins preening for them, grinning and raising her arms in the air. **

"**That's right, I'm cool as the rain, and hot as the sun!"**

"**Well, that's funny," Yang grins, appearing in the entrance, instantly garnering everyone's attention. "Because **_**I **_**burn **_**hotter **_**than the sun in the middle of July!"**

**Neon seemed caught off guard initially, but then broke into a grin. "We got a new challenger, huh? Hop on up, little lady- I've never fought someone so... **_**top-heavy **_**before!"**

**Yang blinks, her grin turning to a grimace. "Ex-**_**cuse **_**me?"**

Ruby winced. "Oh, here we go."

Yang growled. "I _hate _that girl..."

**Neon reaches out and assists Yang into the ring- who immediately takes the opportunity to throw Neon over her shoulder, twisting around to try and pin her down. Neon manages to slink out and dodge, grinning as she turns to face her new opponent. "I like your style! Let's rock!"**

**She jumps up in the air, driving down with her leg in a perfect dive-kick. Yang manages to dodge, swinging around and attempting to pop her leg, but Neon's eyes widen and she dodges just in time. "Huh- fought Glyndy, huh?"**

"**Her **_**and **_**Port!" Yang crowed, turning and summoning a whirlwind- Neon gets caught in the wind and nearly flies out of the ring- she manages to catch onto the rope and bounce back, managing to drive a fist into Yang's face- she falls backwards, before spinning around, driving her heels into the ground.**

**She buckles down and drives herself forward- Neon leapfrogs over her back, managing to stop herself in mid-air and pound down into Yang's back. "Neon **_**Suplex!**_**"**

**Yang grunts as she is slammed into the ground- Neon presses her advantage, swinging several fists at her head, but Yang forces herself back to her feet, thrusting Neon back across the ring, spinning around and managing to dodge her immediate reprisal. She takes the opportunity to use Port's grip, dropping her to the ground and retorting for her earlier ground-pound.**

**Yang slams Neon's head into the ground again and again. "Surrender!"**

"**Not- ow! Gonna- oof! Happen!"**

**Yang pulls her up, wrapping her arms around her opponent's, and popping them both.**

"**Ow! Ow!"**

**She swept Neon's legs, and drove down on them, too. "Surrender!"**

"**I'm still good!"**

**Yang retaliates with another ground pound. Neon's eyes widened, coughing heavily as the wind was knocked out of her. "Y-You're... bottom-heavy, too..."**

**Yang's eyes turned red as she punched the ground next to Neon's head, cracking the arena itself. "SURRENDER!"**

**Neon broke into pained laughter. "Heheh... that's... a persuasive argument." She reached out and tapped the ground three times. **

**Yang smiled, rising back to her feet. Neon hopped up, grinning, limping over to her and patting her on the back. "Here ya go..."**

**Yang accepted a third parchment, with still more lines. "You know what they are, now?"**

**Yang smiled, producing the other two. "Yeah... I think I got it."**

**She piled them up together and flattened them out, revealing a map. **

"**That's where you'll find old man Oz," Neon grinned. "Good luck- you're gonna need it."**

**Yang threw her an offhand salute as she hopped out of the ring.**

"**You come back any time, y'hear?" Neon called. **

"**I'm sure I'll be back for another fight, kitty cat," Yang nodded, waving behind herself.**

"Well, she got off easier than most would," Ruby commented.

"I don't care for her much, either," Blake notes, her eyes narrowed. Nala meows, seemingly in agreement- her eyes narrowed at the screen.

George smirked, but remained silent.

**Yang finally arrived at her final destination- a large monastery, outside of which sat a man with white hair, in a black suit and pants, sipping calmly at some coffee.**

"Ozzy's alive!" Nora cheered.

"Oh, yeah- he died in the last world, didn't he?" George recalled. "Yeah, one world doesn't usually affect another... usually."

**Ozpin smiled as he noticed Yang's approach. "Hmm... it has finally happened. Ever since we broke up, I've not had a single visitor. You have defeated my disciples, yes?"**

**Yang smirks, pulling out the parchment each opponent had given her. "They put up a good fight."**

"**As I would expect," Ozpin smiled. "We are the carriers of an ancient martial art, dating back to Medieval Mistral. There is always a master, and three apprentices. This generation, it has fallen to me."**

"**I don't know about all that," Yang raised her hands. **

"**I suppose not- that is not your business," Ozpin acknowledged. "Your desire is to become the world's strongest fighter, correct?"**

"**Damn straight."**

"**It was by mere chance that my art guided me and my disciples to that title- and the trouble it brings. If you wish to challenge me, I am hardly one to deny you. Tell me, would you like some coffee before we begin?"**

**Yang smiles. "I'd like to dive right in, if it's all the same to you."**

"Only interested in the climax, as ever," Weiss scoffed.

"The... _climax, _you say?" Yang waggles her eyebrows.

Weiss turns red. "Oh, you _brute!_"

"Yang!" Ruby, Blake, and Pyrrha chide, following Weiss's example and turning red.

Ren settled for sighing in exasperation, while Nora cackled in glee.

"**Very well," Ozpin conceded. He takes a long drink from his mug, then sets it down, empty. He rose to his feet. "Begin."**

**Yang wastes no time, rushing in immediately. Ozpin moved fast- faster than anyone Yang had ever fought. He flipped over her and kicked her away, before rushing in and driving his fist into her, rapidly hitting several spots in quick succession. Yang gasped, feeling strength drain from her. **

"**Tsuda," he whispered. **

**He delivers several kicks. "Abise-Geri." Yang staggered back with each strike, struggling to even remain upright, before finally throwing a punch- Ozpin dodged it with remarkable ease. **

**Ozpin struck her again, spinning her around and kicking her away. Yang hit the ground, breathing heavily.**

"**You are free to yield at any point," Ozpin offered. "Nobody will think any less of you."**

"_**I **_**will," Yang grunted, forcing herself back to her feet. "I don't **_**surrender. **_**I **_**burn.**_**"**

"Damn right!" Yang cheered.

**She struck again, managing to land a single hit on Ozpin, who seemed unfazed, before being forced to dodge his retaliatory strike. She moved into an uppercut, managing to strike at Ozpin's vitals in the same way he'd struck hers- she could see him wince as strength was drained from him. She delivered a kick and dodged before he could hit her center again.**

**She took the opportunity to bring her arm down on his, popping it. Ozpin's eyes widen in surprise, attempting to pull back, but Yang kept up her assault, forcing him to spin so she could paralyze his legs. A roundhouse kick sent him to the ground, where she pounded onto him with Neon's technique. **

**Ozpin grunted, swiftly noticing his inability to move. "It seems I was somewhat weaker than I'd imagined. I yield." **

"He... yields?" Yang blinked. "He... surrenders?"

"Yang beat Ozpin?" Weiss gasped.

"That's my sis!" Ruby cheered.

"**Don't sell yourself short, Old Man," Yang smiles, rising back to her feet, and helping him back up. He smiles back. **

"**If I may ask... what **_**was **_**your motivation for coming so far, Ms. Xiao Long?" Ozpin asked. **

"**I'm on my own journey," Yang answered simply. "This was just a part of it."**

"**Well, I'm glad to have played my part," Ozpin nods respectfully. "I bid you fare-"**

**A pair of hands appeared at either side of Ozpin's head and twisted. A sickening crunch heralded the fracturing of his neck. He was dead before he hit the ground.**

"WHAT?!" all of the viewers gasped, eyes wide- even George had no idea what had just happened.

**Yang's eyes grew wide as her eyes fell on the man who had done the deed- a mammoth of a man- seven feet tall, rippling muscles unrestrained by a shirt, hair shaved away, glaring at her through piercing blue eyes. **

"**What... what did you **_**do**_**?"**

**The man scoffed. "I'd **_**like **_**to congratulate you for coming so far. I can appreciate your determination, if nothing else. But your competition was... less than stellar."**

**A cold hand began to grip Yang's heart as he continued. "Don't worry, their deaths were quick. First, that fatass Port. I twisted Goodwitch's joints in ways nature never intended. Then Neon... and now, this geezer."**

Rage was clearly building in the audience. "He killed them?" Pyrrha asked, eyes narrowing in hatred. "He appeared to them after Yang defeated them... and _killed _them?"

"Despicable," Blake hissed, ears flat against her head.

"I wanna break his legs!" Nora cried- Ren made minimal effort to dissuade her.

**Yang opened and closed her mouth, struggling to deal with her surprise... and her anger. "You..."**

"**They were weak," the man interrupted. "So they died. You want to become the strongest? First, you face **_**me-**_** Odie Oldbright!"**

"**WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!"**

The audience jolted in surprise at Yang's outburst.

"**You're no strong man- you didn't **_**fight **_**them- just **_**murdered! **_**Port's strength... Goodwitch's experience... Neon's power... Ozpin's technique... **_**my anger...**_** I'm gonna stomp you down!"**

**Odie smirked- until Yang smashed into his solar plexus, knocking him away and immediately snapping into his leg. He mounted his good leg and retaliated with a roundhouse kick, smacking his bad leg into her. Yang grunted, before driving her fist into him rapid-fire- she could feel him weakening beneath her strikes. She took a moment to deliver a roundhouse-kick- which he caught and threw her across their battlefield.**

**He came after her, more animal than man, an inordinate amount of hatred in his eyes, as though she had done him some great personal wrong. Her eyes retained their fury as she leapt into the air and brought herself down on him, just as Neon might have. He grunted, but managed to get out from under her and deliver an uppercut. **

**Yang flew away, but managed to land on her feet. **

**She paused, eyeing him furiously... then paused. She stood there, waiting for him to come to her. She didn't understand his hatred towards her, but she felt she could use it. **

**Sure enough, he made no effort to restrain himself- he rushed towards her with all the vigor he could muster. She jumped up into the air, soaring over him... before driving herself down fist-first- not in Neon's way, but in her own. He managed to dodge, but the impact caused a shockwave that sent him soaring anyways, slamming into the monastery's wall with a crash. **

**Before he could rise back to his feet, Yang had her arms wrapped tight around him.**

"**No!" he grunted. "I'm the strongest- the title was passed to me!"**

**Yang didn't respond- she passed judgement in the only way she could, twisting his head a full 180 degrees, before allowing his body to drop to the ground. **

The audience was silent- none of them knew what to say after such a spectacle.

**Yang stepped forward, glancing around for a moment, before heading on her way.**

**Her narration returned. "I still don't know who Odie Oldbright actually was. I've tried to find out, but was never able to turn anything up. It's almost like he appeared out of nowhere. Why did he do the things he did? I guess I'll never know, now. **

"**Revolting as he was, though, he taught me something- he showed me what I could become if I let hatred consume me. Now, even when I think about what my mother did to me..."**

The audience glanced back towards Yang, who remained stonily silent.

"**Heh... don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna kick her ass once I find her... but afterwards, maybe we can sit down to some cookies, like we used to. My name is Yang Xiao Long, and I... am the strongest."**

**The screen showed her walking down an alley at night. A man appeared behind her, smirking. "Is that so? Then, if I knock you down, **_**I'll **_**be the strongest..."**

**Yang turned to meet him, grinning as she smashed her fists together- heralding the end of her sequence.**

As the screen faded to black, the audience glanced at George, bemused. "You say we'll be back to that world eventually?" Weiss asked.

"According to the Hand," George shrugged. "Speaking of which..."

He glanced over at Crazy- Nala had given up on him and headed for her food bowl in the nearby kitchen, giving George clearance to sneak over to him and put his mouth right next to Crazy's ear.

"WAKE UP, HAND!"

Crazy shot into the air, screeching, before collapsing back into the chair, rubbing at his head. "Ooowwww... can't you keep it quiet, Georgie?"

"No, I _CAN'T_!" George shouted. "_You're _supposed to be running this show, not me!"

Crazy groaned, turning over in his seat. "Oh, right... we're supposed to do _Eye of the Dragon _today, aren't we?"

"Already done," everyone chanted in unison.

"Oh," Crazy turned red. "Well... I guess I should go get the _next _next universe, then, huh? You gonna stick around, Georgie?"

"I'll be back," George replied offhandedly as he took the disc they'd just watched. "I'm gonna make myself a CD that's just Neon breaking Cinder's back again and again."

Everyone stared at him as he headed downstairs, swiftly followed by Crazy. "Be right back!" he promised, leaving them to stare at each other.

"Do you think _everyone _in this world is as messed up as those two, or are we just lucky?" Ruby asked. None of the others had any real answer.

_XXXX_

Happy New Year, all! It's my tradition to always put up a chapter on New Year, and while it's not the most festive, I hope you'll accept this! A brief word about how I'm handling requests- I've gotten several, but I also have plenty of ideas of my own, so I think what we'll do is have a request-chapter every fourth chapter. Which is to say, every fourth chapter, I'll look at what's most popular and put together a chapter for it. Such chapters may increase with frequency later down the line, but for now... I like four.

Next time, one last universe of my choosing before our first request-chapter! Between Vale, the Rose-Xiao Long Show, the several stories I need to go back and finish (Not least of which is the Mario Mario series,) and the recommencement of Project Solaris (type in the comments if you remember that such a thing even existed,) updates will likely be sporadic- but that's really nothing new for me, anyways. Once again, I direct you towards AlonelyTactician's Remnants of Twilight, and until next time... please R&R, suggestions and constructive criticism embraced, Gamer4 out!


	4. Jaune Wake

Gamer4 in. I'm sleeping... I'm sleeping... I have a dream. We live inside a dream. Yes... that'll work. Okay, let's have another chapter!

Disclaimer: Alan Wake belongs to Remedy. If you have an Xbox 360, consider it a must-play.

Episode III

Jaune Wake

Teams RWBY and JNPR glanced at each other, growing bored. "So... how long d'ya think he'll be gone this time?"

No sooner had Yang asked the question than a bizarre singing voice started making its way up the stairs. "And now to see your love set free... you need the witch's cabin key!"

Crazy came hopping into the living room with another DVD case in his hands, still singing at the top of his lungs. "Find the lady of the light, still raving in the night- that's how you rewrite destiny!"

"What are you doing?" Weiss crossed her arms.

"Setting up the next universe, of course!" Crazy beamed. "Jaune Wake!"

"Jaune... Wake?" Pyrrha asked, tilting her head in confusion.

"I _wanted _to show you another one of the universes I watch over, _Vale," _Crazy confided, "but _Georgie_-"

"Shut that down faster than Ruby's semblance," George agreed, suddenly appearing at his side. "I'm not gonna let you turn _this _story into a whinefest over nobody reading that other story of yours."

"Meanie," Crazy pouted. "But anyways, this is the next best thing. Besides, I think it might help explain a bit about how all these different worlds work. Let's plug this sucka in and get ta gettin'!"

"I swear, if this is just a rehash of what you _wanted _to show-"

"What's this one all about?" Ruby asked brightly.

"Oh- in this universe, things that are written come true," Crazy shrugged.

Everyone's eyes widened, glancing at each other, pondering over the implications of such a world.

"Anything... written?" Blake asked.

"I mean... in theory. It's a tad more complicated than- you know what? Just sit back and watch."

XXXX

**The screen opens crossing over several forest-covered mountains, all set to a beautiful sunset. **_**"H. P. Lovecraft wrote that the oldest and greatest emotion of mankind is fear- the oldest and greatest fear is fear of the unknown. How true that is."**_

Ruby and Nora suddenly looked nervous. "Wait... is this a horror story?"

"_**In a horror story, the victim keeps asking why- the most effective way to preserve the fear is to offer no explanation. The unanswered mystery stays with us the longest- it's what we'll remember to the end."**_

"I believe that is a yes," Ren nodded, wrapping an arm around his childhood friend's shoulder. Ruby buried herself into Yang's side. Weiss stood tall, but was shivering inside. Pyrrha looked around, disappointed now more than ever that Jaune himself wasn't present- even if he was narrating the story playing out on screen.

"_**My name is Jaune Arcturus Wake, and I'm a writer."**_

"Oh, Jauney's a writer in this one?" Nora looked more interested.

"Are you sure he has the imagination for such an endeavor?" Weiss asked, quirking a brow.

"I'm willing to hear him out," Blake shrugged, curious what stories Jaune might tell if given the chance.

"_**I've always had a vivid imagination, but this dream... it unsettled me. My domain is True Crime, but this dream was outright horror- it was wild, dark, and weird even by my standards.**_

"_**Yes... it began with a dream."**_

**The screen passed over a tall lighthouse and to a car rushing down a road.**

"Craaazyyyyyy..."

"Not the same!"

"_**Following a typical nightmare pattern, I was late, desperately trying to reach my destination- a lighthouse." **_**The car careened past a roadsign reading, **_**Twin Peaks, 253 miles.**_

Crazy let out a nervous laugh as George glared at him, steadily reaching beneath his coat.

"What's so bad about that?" Ruby wondered.

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Georgie... come on, Georgie, I _swear _this isn't- OW!"

"_**I couldn't remember what was waiting for me there, only that it was urgent. I was driving too fast- I lost control of my car..."**_

**A woman lumbered out into the road, **giving the audience just enough time to realized what was about to happen **before Jaune slammed into her, losing control of his car and smashing it into a tree on the roadside.**

"Jaune killed someone!" Ruby cried, tears forming in her eyes.

"Not really, Ruby," Blake assured her, running her hands through the younger girl's hair. "He's just having a bad dream, remember?"

**Jaune staggered out of the wreck of his car to see who he'd hit- a young cat faunus in black and white clothing.**

Ruby put her hands over her mouth. "Oh my gosh, he killed Blake!"

"That bastard!" Yang snarled, slamming her fists together.

"It was an accident- and just a dream!" Pyrrha reminded them quickly.

Blake froze at the sight of her own dead body. Sure, they'd seen death in the previous couple worlds, but this was the first time that one of _them _had died on-screen- and herself, no less.

"_**Suddenly, her body was absorbed by the darkness,"**_** the on-screen Jaune narrated, just as, per his word, Blake's body dissolved into wisps of darkness.**

"Okay, the hell's that about?" Yang wondered.

"Interrogating the logic of a dream," Crazy smirked. "Isn't this a strange conversation for people who _aren't _Crazy? OW!"

"Ignore him," George ordered as Crazy forlornly rubbed the back of his head.

**The screen faded to black, and a title card appeared- **

**JAUNE WAKE**

**EPISODE I**

**THE NIGHTMARE**

**The A in WAKE was stylized with a figure of Jaune looking at the camera through a flashlight.**

"This isn't all going to be a nightmare that dunce had, is it?" Weiss asked, earning a sharp glare from Pyrrha and Ruby.

"Well, maybe if you watched, you'd find out!" Crazy pointed out- only to narrowly duck another swipe from George. "What did I even do that time!"

"You know what you did."

"_**I was still in shock from the crash- I could hardly stay on my feet."**_

"See? Sometimes it _does _follow dream logic, sometimes it doesn't!" Yang exclaimed.

"In my experience, dream logic is no logic at all- which means it will sometimes arbitrarily conform to real logic," Ren submitted.

"...Wanna say that again? In English?"

Rem sighed. "Sometimes, it is consistent to be inconsistent."

"Eh?"

"He means, 'shut up and watch!'" Nora translated happily.

"Thank you, Nora."

"Any time!"

**Jaune staggered down the road a bit before the lighthouse appeared on the horizon. "**_**There it was... the lighthouse. There was something important waiting for me there." **_**He continued on his way, as the camera angled back to show a body appearing on the road and rising to its feet.**

"Oh, nevermind- maybe Blake's alive!" Ruby guessed hopefully.

"Alive, and yet, not," Weiss offered a more likely explanation.

**Sure enough, the Blake on screen was obscured by shadows, and closed the distance between herself and Jaune with unnatural speed. Jaune broke into a sprint when he sensed her approach. Blake screamed at him in a horribly distorted voice- "YOU DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME, DO YOU, WAKE?! DO YOU ENJOY IT? MAKING THINGS UP, PLAYING GOD WITH OUR LIVES?! KILL THEM OFF WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE ADDING A BIT OF DRAMA?!"**

Given the nature of their situation, a shudder ran through the viewers. "It seems Jaune may have a guilty conscience over the way he treats the characters he writes about," Blake whispered.

"It would be like... if we all came here, but Crazy really _did _make up everything bad that happened to us," Ruby whimpered at the idea.

**Jaune fell down a hill, dashing down stairs and past billboards. "Well, WELCOME TO THE STORY!" Blake screamed behind him. "Now that I've got you here, I'll make you suffer!"**

**Out of nowhere, Blake appeared right in front of him, forcing him to duck under her swinging a weapon very much like Gambol Shroud and hurdle over the gate she had so briefly protected.**

"I never thought Blake could be so scary," Ruby whimpered.

"Don't worry, Ruby, I'd never actually attack Jaune like this," Blake assured her.

"You'd best not," Pyrrha agreed, eyeing her up and down suspiciously.

"_**The woman was a character from a story I'd been working on- at least, within the realms of my dream. She didn't match anything I'd imagined before."**_

"**HOW DOES IT FEEL TO DIE BY THE HANDS OF YOUR OWN CREATION?!"**

**Blake's body disappeared, transforming into a whirlwind of darkness, sending Jaune scurrying away as fast as his legs could carry him. It was a struggle to keep going as fast as he could without losing his footing as he sprinted down a seemingly infinite hill. A rope bridge appeared, which he mounted, vaguely noticing someone else on the other side. **

"**This way!" they called, jumping up and down. "Hurry!"**

"Ruby?" Yang asked, eyes widening.

Ruby looked even more uncomfortable- sure, this was her first appearance in these worlds, but she hadn't imagined it like this...

**The bridge broke down as soon as Jaune had finished crossing it. Ruby quickly ushered him into a nearby cabin. "Don't worry, Jaune, I've got you! Hurry up, get inside, there's no time!"**

**The door slammed shut the second Jaune crossed the threshold. Ruby did not enter with him.**

"Don't tell me she's going to-" Weiss gasped.

**From the outside came the sound of Ruby screaming loud and long, before being abruptly silenced.**

"Not real... not real..." Ruby whispered, rocking back and forth in her seat. "Not real... not real..."

As if sensing her distress, Nacho the orange cat appeared and hopped up into her lap, purring and rubbing up against her face. None of the others contested it this time- the poor girl could use some fluff therapy.

**The Jaune on screen seemed equally ill. **_**"I couldn't believe it- Ruby was one of my oldest friends, and she'd just been killed by that... by that **_**thing.**_** And now... I was trapped. There was no way out."**_

**Sure enough, every door seemed to be blocked, even as the tempest raged against the cabin. A TV in the corner came to life, showing off a single eye twirling around the cabin, struggling to take everything in.**

"Great, now we got some PT shit going on," Yang growled, reaching over to scratch an appreciative Nacho's ears.

"Oh, don't talk about that game," Ruby whimpered. "I still have nightmares..."

"**Dammit!" Jaune swore as he pounded at each of the doors, desperate for a way out. "Dammit!"**

**A chanting voice rose up, coming from everywhere and nowhere- "Die, die, die, die!"**

"Don't die, fearless leader!" Nora shouted. "Break their legs!"

"It's a maelstrom, Nora, it doesn't have legs," Ren pointed out, nibbling on one of his nails.

**Suddenly, the rear door burst open, allowing light to flood in- light that Jaune quickly ran towards. Out the cabin and down a brief set of steps. A beam of light was descending from the sky. A voice echoed out over the land- "You are hurt. Step into the light- there, you will be safe."**

**Jaune staggered obediently into the light, and immediately felt refreshed, as though he hadn't just narrowly survived the near- destruction of a cabin.**

"That voice- it's Ozpin!" Ruby gasped.

"Y'know, I think that guy's been in every one so far," Yang pondered. "I thought these were supposed to be about VB, not Ozpin."

"Just a coincidence," Crazy shrugged.

**The light flickered out, and was swiftly replaced by another- a being of light in the distance. Jaune attempted to look at it, but the light was too blinding.**

"**Apologies for interrupting your dream, but I have something important to tell you."**

"No, no, feel free to interrupt the dream!" Ruby quickly absolved him.

"Wait, is this part of the dream as well, or has it truly been hijacked by outside interference?" Weiss wondered.

"Urgh, my head's hurting already!" Nora complained. "Ren! I need some pancakes!"

"**What is it?" Jaune found himself asking.**

**The being in the light spoke:**

"**For he did not know**

**That beyond the lake he called home,**

**Lies a deeper, darker ocean green**

**Where waves are both wilder and more serene.**

**To its ports I've been.**

**To its ports I've been.**

"**Do you understand?"**

"The hell's that supposed to mean?" Yang asked exasperatedly, almost tearing her hair out. "Why can't the old man talk in anything but riddles?!"

"Maybe it means something to Jaune?" Pyrrha proposed.

"**No!"**

"...Or maybe not..."

**The being didn't miss a beat- an arm of light stretched out and formed a path for Jaune to continue on his way. "Follow the light, Mr. Wake- follow the light."**

**Jaune obeyed, sprinting down the path to a small enclosure blocked off by a wooden fence.**

"**We have little time- I have come to teach you. The darkness is still asleep, but it will awaken soon. It can feel you. For now, I can only show you what is most important."**

**The evil Blake reappeared before him, at the very least forced back into a humanoid form. "This poor young woman has been taken by the Dark Presence. You can do nothing to her- the darkness protects her from all harm. Take this."**

**A column of light appeared at his side- descending through it was a simple flashlight. **

"Really?" Weiss scoffed, crossing her arms. "Use a flashlight to fight the darkness? That's something I'd expect from _Ruby!"_

"That's something I wanted to do," Ruby nodded forlornly.

"Dream logic, remember?" Ren reminded them. "While it would be absurd to attempt such a thing in reality, in a dream..."

**Jaune grabbed the flashlight and turned it on Blake, who recoiled away from the light. The distortion surrounding her disappeared, leaving her looking like your average, every-day Blake.**

"**Well done," Ozpin's voice praised. "Light drives the darkness away... but it still holds sway over her. She will continue attacking... until she no longer can."**

"Wait- does that mean?" Ruby asked nervously.

**The beam of light reappeared, delivering a handgun. Without thinking twice, Jaune took it and fired into Blake, sending her to the ground, where she dissolved in a manner very similar to a grimm. **

"Oh, my gosh! They killed Blake- again!" Ruby cried.

"You bastards!" Yang repeated, smashing her knuckles together once more.

_Just a dream... just a dream... just a dream,_ Blake repeated to herself.

"**Good," Ozpin's voice congratulated him. "You've done well. I will return you to your dream now."**

"No, please, stick around!" Ruby squeaked.

**The light representing Ozpin disappeared.**

"_**I remembered now- why I had to get to the lighthouse. A terrible darkness was taking over the world- the lighthouse was the only safe place left."**_

**A gate in front of him opened, and he continued his dash.**

"I dunno, lighthouses have always creeped me out," Ruby muttered.

"Ever since Blake told that story about the kee-" Yang started, but Ruby quickly plugged her ears.

"LALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALA, I'M NOT LISTENING!"

**A new figure appeared- a tall woman in a red dress they recognized from the previous universes as Cinder. "You made me this way," she snarled scornfully, "and now I'm gonna kill you!"**

"Meh, Jauney can kill her all she wants," Yang shrugged. "She kinda seems like a bitch, to be honest."

"You and I are gonna get along just fine," George smiled, sliding over next to her- only for Ruby to pointedly get in his way, directing a very non-threatening glare in his direction.

**Jaune quickly raised his flashlight in one hand, his gun in the other, and blasted her away before continuing his sprint to the lighthouse. As he mounted the street leading up to it, a dark twister began to form- he pushed himself as hard as he could, entering the house and slamming the door shut in the nick of time. He struggled to hold the door shut, but it didn't seem entirely necessary- for all the storm raging outside, whatever entity it was didn't seem capable of touching the lighthouse, let alone entering.**

"Oh, good," Ruby sighed. "It _is _safe."

**Jaune moved towards a spiral staircase leading up, a shining light at the top. He quickly ascended the stairs and found himself looking into the light. His mouth opened and he began to scream at whatever he saw, though the camera refused to pan around and show it.**

"Oh, come on! Don't be like that!" Yang raged. "If you're gonna show him screaming at something, you best show us what it is!"

"**Jaune... wake up."**

"Wait- is that me?" Pyrrha asked as the camera cut to black.

**Jaune sat bolt upright in the seat of his car, Pyrrha gazing at him with concern behind the wheel. "Jaune, it's okay- it's just another nightmare. You dozed off."**

"Really? An it-was-all-just-a-dream cliche?" Nora scoffed, earning some odd looks from everyone else.

"...We already knew it was a dream," Ren pointed out. "Jaune said as much at the beginning."

Nora didn't pay attention to his words- she was paying more attention to his sudden hat. "Ren... why is there a cat on your head?"

"He's been sitting there a while," Ren shrugged, reaching up to run a hand along the back of the light grey cat curled up and asleep on top of his head.

"Yeah, that's Trico for ya," Crazy nodded. "He can find a place to sleep anywhere."

"How many cats do you have, exactly?" Blake asked as Nora struggled (unsuccessfully) to relocate Trico to her lap.

"Just those three," Crazy confirmed. "Well... technically four now..."

Blake's ears flattened, but Yang couldn't help laughing.

"No use trying to move him," Crazy attempted to call off Nora from her mission of prying Trico from Ren's head. "Once he's settled on a place to sleep, the Wave Existence itself can't move him."

"**Good thing, I guess," Jaune scoffed as he rubbed his wrists into his eyes. "I do anything more than 'doze off,' the whole world needs to know about it..."**

**Pyrrha rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Cheer up, Jaune-we're here!"**

**They stepped out of the car, revealing they were actually on a barge across a lake- a bridge overhead bore letters spelling out, **_**Welcome to Vale!**_

"_Crazy!" _George growled.

"Ididn'tdoit!"

"What're you getting so mad at him for?" Ruby asked, silver eyes wide.

George's own eyes softened when they met hers. "Er... it's a long story. Not one that I want to have to tell you, if I don't have to..."

**Pyrrha beamed as they looked around the small barge, gazing from a young man in a grey hoodie on one end to a short woman in white on the other. "Come on, we're on vacation- we may as well **_**act **_**like it! Go stand next to her- I want a shot of you with the town in the background!"**

"Hey, it's Weiss!" Ruby beamed, watching as Jaune approached her partner.

"Wait, if they're on vacation together," Yang's eyes lit up with a teasing light, "then that means..."

"The two of them..." Nora grinned, glancing at Pyrrha, who's cheeks were turning a shade of red to match her hair.

"Are together-together?!" Ruby squeaked, looking somewhat indignant.

Crazy grinned. "I present to you Pyrrha Wake, wife to Jaune Wake."

Only Blake and Ren remained calm- Nora and Yang squealed, Weiss looked somewhat repulsed, and Ruby was suddenly green with envy.

**Deferring to Pyrrha's artistic knowledge, Jaune crossed the barge. "Can I suggest a title? 'City Slicker Moments Before Getting Eaten by a Bear.'"**

**The woman in white giggled as she turned to take him in. "Quite the sense of humor you have there, Mr. Wake."**

"Wait, _I _know him?" Weiss asked, taken aback.

"He's a famous writer in this world, it would be weirder if you didn't," Ren suggested.

**Jaune sighed heavily. "Of course you know me..."**

"**I won't pretend not to know such a famous individual as yourself," Weiss nodded. "Nonetheless, I'm sure an assault of questions is hardly what you need at the moment- I will refrain from badgering you."**

**Jaune seemed somewhat taken aback by her overly formal demeanor. "Er... thanks."**

"That's Weiss for ya!" Ruby laughed.

"It reminds me of our first meeting," Pyrrha recalled. "Except Weiss was striving to get into my good books at the time- the very thing she has the _gall _to accuse Jaune of doing..."

Tension began to rise around the table, until Crazy made a point of popping open a large container of cookies- Ruby's eyes lit up, and she began digging in, Nora hot on her heels. "Please save the drama for later," he implored them. "We're trying to be more light-hearted at the moment- thank you."

"**I **_**will **_**say that this is serendipitous timing," Weiss continued. "The Vytal Festival is only two weeks away- well within the scope of your stay, I presume?"**

"**Yes," Jaune nodded, still rather uncertain. "Hey, did you hear that, Pyr? We're just in time for the Vytal Festival!"**

**Pyrrha waved, but didn't respond- she was busy lining up a shot.**

"**That must be Pyrrha Nikos then- your illustrator?"**

"**That's not my name anymore!" Pyrrha called brightly, flashing off her wedding ring.**

"Oh, yeah, I can see that," Yang nodded. "If Pyrrha got married to Jauney, I don't imagine that she'd miss one chance to show off."

Pyrrha remained silent- she was coping with a truly odd sensation- being jealous of... herself.

"**A lucky woman," Weiss decided with a small smile. Finally, she extended her hand. "Weiss Schnee- a pleasure to meet you both."**

"**The- er... the pleasure's all mine."**

"He seems a little cooler in this universe," Yang decided, "but deep down, he's still the same dork."

"Yeah," Pyrrha and Ruby nodded dreamily. Weiss was tilting her head as she watched herself onscreen having a civil conversation with someone she didn't generally get along with. Blake, for her part, was pondering over what sort of books this Jaune might have under his belt.

"**I hope I don't come across as presumptuous, but I run a nighttime radio show- any chance I could enlist you as a guest star?" Weiss asked hopefully.**

"So she _did _have an ulterior motive," Pyrrha commented, glaring at the girl in white out of the corner of her eye- Weiss cringed away again.

"COOKIES!" Crazy called, supplying another tin.

"**I appreciate the offer," Jaune groaned, "but... I'm here on vacation. I'd just as soon keep everything on the down-low, if it's all the same to you."**

**To her credit, Weiss hid her disappointment remarkably well. "Yes, quite. I shall hold my tongue. Nevertheless, should you change your mind... I'm not exactly a difficult woman to find. I wish you both the best on your vacation."**

"**Yeah, wish you the best alright... fucking tourists," spat the young man in the hoodie as he pushed roughly past the two of them, simply to throw an empty beer bottle into the lake.**

**Weiss narrowed her eyes, but said nothing as Jaune turned back to Pyrrha.**

"Who _is _that guy?" Ruby pondered. "I _swear _I've seen him somewhere before...

A quick glance around showed that nobody else recognized him either- except for Crazy, who was nervously tugging at the collar of his t-shirt, and George, who was pointedly looking the other way, playing a game on what seemed to be an enormous scroll.

"**Nice, very nice," Pyrrha beamed as Jaune returned to the car. "I got some good shots, **_**and **_**you made a friend! Two for the price of one!"**

"**I hope **_**you **_**don't want me to go on that show," Jaune grunted.**

**Before Pyrrha could answer, Jaune's scroll rang- he pulled it out, and before he could even say hello, a high voice came from the other end. "Jaune! Hey, Jaune! Jaune- how's it going? Are you there yet? Are you there yet?"**

"**Give the man some room to breathe," came a slightly deeper voice, sounding very much as though it had elbowed the other voice out of the way. "Hey, Jauney, how's our favorite author?"**

"That's us!" Ruby grinned, seizing Yang's shoulder. "Yang, that's us!"

"So we're friends?" Yang guessed, casually pushing her sister away.

"His agents," Crazy nodded. "And his most vocal cheerleaders from day one- aside from Pyrrha, of course.

"**We just got here," Jaune answered. **

"**You better not be getting any crap from anyone," Yang piped up. "You need our help, you just say the word- we'll be there in an afternoon."**

"**We could finally have a chance to use our secret service outfits!" Ruby whooped in the background.**

"**No need for that," Jaune stated firmly, though he had a small smile on his face. "We're all good here."**

"Glad to see not _everything _has changed in this world," Weiss couldn't fight back a small smile of her own.

"**How ya doin' so far?" Ruby asked- Jaune imagined her hip-bumping her sister out of the way to get the scroll back. "Your creative juices flowin' again?"**

"**Literally haven't even gotten to the cabin," Jaune shook his head.**

"**Okay, okay, gotcha! We'll call back later, make sure everything's still going- OOF!"**

"**You need anything, you call us right away, got it, Jauney?"**

"**Got it," Jaune rolled his eyes. "Love you both- see ya."**

"Wait- should he really be saying things like that in front of-" Yang started, turning red as Pyrrha turned a glare in her direction.

**The Pyrrha on screen, however, didn't seem at all concerned. "You realize those two are going to be calling you every five minutes, right?"**

"**Eh, I can silence my scroll," Jaune shrugged.**

"She seems to realize that he feels only sisterly love for them," Ren speculated. Yang sighed in relief when Ren's words calmed the spartan down, while Ruby felt her stomach dip.

**No sooner had Jaune made his statement than his scroll rang again, the tone indicating that it was the sisters. "Just a text," Jaune smiled, glancing at it. "They want to say hi to you, too."**

**The screen pulled back and refocused on the streets of the town itself, as Pyrrha steered them past several buildings. "Okay, we're going to make a quick stop at the Cottontail Diner- we're meeting with the landlord, Peter Port."**

"Ugh, Port _again?!_" Yang groaned.

"We've seen him more often than Jaune-Jaune, and these universes are supposed to be about him!" Nora cried.

"I swear I didn't plan it," Crazy insisted, especially when he glanced out of the corner of his eye to see George advancing on him with an ax. "_Any _of it!"

"**I'll fill the car up while you get the key, okay? Meet up back here in... I dunno, fifteen minutes?"**

"**Sounds good," Jaune nodded as the car came to a halt- he took the chance to hop out and head into the diner.**

**The narration kicked in again as he scanned the inside. **_**"I'd forgotten there were still places like this, where everybody knew everybody."**_

Crazy gulped as he watched George casually sharpen an axe, whistling innocently.

"**Welcome to the Cottontail Diner!" came a polite, accented voice from behind the counter.**

"Oh, hey, it's that girl from Team CFVY!" Ruby smiled.

"Velvet," Blake nodded as the camera panned over to show off the rabbit faunus. "Not sure how I feel about the diner being called 'Cottontail...'"

"**Hi," Jaune greeted. "I was wondering if you could help-"**

"**Wake?!" Velvet squeaked when she took him in. "**_**Jaune **_**Wake?! Oh, God- I'm your biggest fan! I'm sure you've heard that before, but really, I **_**am **_**your biggest fan! I even have your cut-out from the bookstore!"**

**Jaune glanced back to see a cardboard image of himself holding his most recent book- **_**The Sudden Stop- **_**propped up against the front door. His lips pursed.**

"Looks like this Jauney has something in common with you, eh, Cereal Girl?" Yang thumped Pyrrha on the back. Pyrrha didn't respond- the look on Jaune's face was, indeed, uncomfortably familiar to her.

"**I'm... er... glad to hear that..."**

"**Velvet! Velvet Scarlatina!" Velvet introduced herself quickly, seemingly paying no mind to Jaune's sudden discomfort.**

"**Velvet, right... I'm looking for Port- Peter Port?"**

"**Oh, he just took a quick run to the washroom," Velvet explained quickly. "Should be back in a moment!" She paused and squealed again. "I can't believe it- I've got all your books!"**

"**Hey, now, leave the poor man alone, will ya?" came another voice from nearby. "Let him breathe a bit."**

The audience perked up a bit. "Blake?" Ruby asked, eyes wide. "Is she still alive after all?"

**Jaune's eyes flicked to the end of the counter, where he spied a cat faunus wearing a sheriff's badge- for some reason, she seemed remarkably familiar to him. **

"She's alive!" Ruby whooped. Yang and Nora cheered, and while the others were quieter about it, they still seemed very relieved that Blake was back in the world of the living- and not possessed, at that.

"Not for long," George proclaimed ominously.

"You know something we don't?" Yang asked sharply, her eyes flickering slightly.

"I know how this guy works," George nodded, glancing at Crazy, who nervously adjusted his collar.

"Er... next scene!"

"**I'd recommend the coffee," Blake suggested, taking a sip of her own. "Just remember- the first one's free."**

"**I'm not ordering anything," Jaune shook his head. "Just need to grab a key from Port."**

"**Have it your way," Blake shrugged as Jaune began to move back through the diner.**

"**Hey!" came another voice. "Hey, you there! Hey!"**

"Hey!" Nora's eyes brightened up. "Renny, it's _me!_"

Ren twitched- if he had to watch _Nora _suffer in these things...

**Jaune found himself summoned by a woman in pink sitting across from a calm man in green. "Yes?"**

"Wow, I'm _old..._" Nora commented.

"Nora...?" Ren asked, wondering if she was upset.

"It's so _awesome! _I must have seen so much stuff- _done _so much stuff- eaten so many pancakes!" Nora proclaimed gleefully, eyes twinkling.

"I wonder how she lost her eye," Pyrrha pondered, gazing at screen-Nora's patch.

"Probably an epic duel to the death with the Queen of Grimm!" Nora eagerly proclaimed.

"We've been over this, Nora," Weiss rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "The grimm don't _have _a leader, and there's definitely no such thing as magic!"

"Says the most magical member of Team RWBY," Nora scoffed.

"**Do me a favor, would ya, sonny?" the woman in pink requested. **("I called him 'sonny!' Ren, I called him 'Sonny!'") **"I need a tune- put on number six on the jukebox, would ya?"**

**Amused by the woman, Jaune approached the jukebox behind her, heedless of the sigh given by her companion. "Coconut again?" the man in green groaned. "That song is going to be the death of me, I swear."**

"**Give it a sharp whack!" Nora instructed. "You need to show that thing what-for! Yeah, I said what-for- I'm old, get over it!"**

"She certainly seems to be enjoying herself," Blake commented.

"Wow, they're even _more _like an old married couple now," Yang smirked, earning some feverish spluttering from the pair in question.

**Jaune did as he was bid, giving the box a sharp whack- finally, it began to croon. **

"**You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up, you put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up!" Nora sang along eagerly.**

"**Call yourself a rocker," Ren shook his head with a small smile.**

**Jaune moved to the back hall, where the lights seemed to have gone out, transforming it into a rather creepy dark tunnel. A woman stood in front of it- tall, with platinum hair, holding a lantern in her hand with which she seemed to be attempting to drive back the darkness. "Don't go back there, young man," she warned as Jaune approached. "Dark places aren't safe around here- you could get hurt."**

"Is that Goodwitch?" Pyrrha pondered. "She's certainly looking..."

"Like a weirdo?" Nora supplied helpfully.

"...I was going to say 'eccentric,'" Pyrrha decided.

"No kidding- what's with the lamp?" Yang pondered.

**Jaune did not heed her warning, setting off down the hallway. "Don't worry, ma'am- I can handle myself."**

**Goodwitch pursed her lips as she watched him go.**

"_**I didn't want to wait," **_**Jaune narrated. **_**"I wanted to find Port, get the key, and get out as quick as possible. I'm sure she meant well, but the waitress was giving me a headach- as overeager fans often do."**_

"Harsh," Ruby winced. "Glad Velvet's not around to hear that..."

"Harsh, but... accurate," Pyrrha admitted shamefacedly.

**Jaune turned the corner- he didn't find Port, but he did find a woman dressed in black. Her skin and hair were both a shock of white, while she wore clothes that wouldn't be out of place at a funeral. **

"Eep!" Ruby squeaked. "She scared me!"

"Me too," Yang admitted. "Not sure why, that wasn't even a jumpscare..."

"I guess she's just a creepy lady?" Nora guessed, clinging onto Ren's shoulder. Trico yawned and turned over without falling off his perch.

"**I'm afraid Mr. Port was taken ill," the woman whispered. "Here- he gave me the key to pass on to you- as well as instructions to the cabin."**

**Jaune seemed rather unnerved by the lady himself, but took what she offered nonetheless.**

"**I wish you a pleasant stay," the woman bowed. "I'll come by later to check how you've settled in."**

**Jaune nodded as he circled her and headed back to the main diner. Goodwitch was still there, eyeing him up. "You were lucky, young man- people hurt themselves in the dark around here. I need to talk to Velvet- this light really must get fixed...**

**Jaune left her rambling to herself, passing by Ren and Nora- neither of whom paid him any mind this time. Nora was up on her seat dancing to the music from the jukebox, while Ren halfheartedly tried to ease her down.**

"**Those two are quite the pair," Blake commented, watching them with amusement. "They're supposed to be at Ms. Sustrai's clinic at the moment- not somewhere Ren ever needed to go, but Nora did, and where one goes, the other follows."**

"They're committed?" Weiss asked, eyes wide in shock. Nora, meanwhile, took something else away altogether.

"You'd fake being crazy just for me, Renny? That's so sweet- I'm so glad we're together! Not together- together, of course!"

Ren barely had to ponder the question. "Yes, Nora... yes I would."

**Jaune gave her an acknowledging nod as he opened the door and stepped out into the street, where Pyrrha was waiting for him. He barely registered Velvet wishing him a quick "Goodbye, Mr. Wake!"**

**Jaune smiled as he slipped into the car next to her. "Mission accomplished- keys and directions!"**

"**My hero," Pyrrha giggled. "Full tank of gas and some flashlights- just in case. Let's get going!"**

**They took off, just as the front door opened and a rotund man with an impressive moustache came charging out. "Wait, Mr. Wake- your keys! You forgot... your keys... oh, bother..."**

**The screen faded to black, with a large **_**To Be Continued **_**etched in white.**

"That's... an odd cut-off point," Pyrrha commented.

"Yeah, but we can't let one universe hog all our time," Crazy shrugged. "Besides, I've got a really cool one for you next time!"

"Are you going to use it to shill for your other stories again?" George asked snidely.

"I wasn't shilling for my other stories!" Crazy objected.

"That had _Vale _written all over it!" George countered.

"Yeah, but... but... That's not my fault!" Crazy insisted.

"Mea culpa!" George pointed at him dramatically.

"I'm not to blame!"

"Mea culpa!"

"It's Remedy that saw Twin Peaks and made that game!"

"Mea culpa!"

"It's not my fault-"

"Mea culpa!"

"That in Oum's plan-"

"Mea culpa!"

"He made Jaune Arc the ultimate everyman!" Crazy reeled back and suddenly began singing. "Oh, Wave Existence, don't let this-"

"Okay, enough of that," George interrupted, swatting him upside the head. "I'm not even gonna punish you for this one- I'll let them do it for me. Hey, guys!" He turned to address the audience. "This guy has a fetish for killing off Blake in every universe he writes!"

"He _what?!_" Yang growled. The others didn't say anything, merely glaring as they climbed to their feet. Weapons or no, they couldn't let this stand.

"No! No, it's not like that!" Crazy cringed away. "I told you, I just write down what happens! I have no actual control-"

"Which doesn't explain how Blake keeps ending up dead," George chided.

"No, no, no- I'm SORRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY!"

_XXXX_

Abrupt end is abrupt- we got a good one coming at ya next episode, though- one that just may come to define this story. After that, we'll get around to our first viewer's choice, to which end, I'm opening up a poll in my profile- vote for what _you _want to see! Any suggestions submitted via reviews or PM will be added to the poll, and as a bonus, if you leave a sufficiently convincing argument as to why I should choose yours, I'll count that as an extra vote! Until then, please R&R, everything under the sun welcome, Gamer4 out!


	5. Xiao Long: Automata

Gamer4 in. Okay, we got a big one this time around, my friends- buckle up. Also, for some updates on the polling for next chapter's READER'S CHOICE EVENT (TM), read the end notes. Don't fee like going into it up here. Sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Disclaimer: Nier Automata belongs to Platinum Games, Square Enix, and the man, the myth, the legend, Yoko Taro. Ain't played it yet? Play it. Find a way to play it, and just... play it.

Episode IV

Xiao Long: Automata

"Ow... owowowowow... why you all so meeaaaan?" Crazy whined as he nursed his two black eyes. Ironically, Blake was the only one who hadn't joined in on beating him to a bloody pulp- she was too busy staring out the window, wondering just what she'd done to earn this.

"Try not killing Blake, why don't ya?" Yang growled.

"I... gotta go... to the hospital," Crazy decided, forcing himself to his feet and limping out of the room. "Ow... ow... ow... ow..."

"Perhaps we _did _go a little hard on him," Pyrrha pondered, looking somewhat guilty. "I mean, he doesn't _decide _to kill her in those universes- he just writes it down."

"I suppose punishing him really is just shooting the messenger," Ren decided.

Weiss looked uncomfortable. "I suppose we can apologize when he gets back..." She turned to George. "So, will you be showing us the next universe on your own?"

"Nah, I gotta run real quick too," George shook his head, leaping to his feet. "Some guy's trash-talking Crazy in the reviews- nobody calls his stories garbage but _me._"

"Oh, that's so sweet!" Nora squealed. "...In a weird sorta way..."

"So we just gotta wait for you to come back again?" Ruby asked forlornly- she didn't like being left alone for hours on end.

"I'll make sure we get back more quickly this time," George promised as he headed out the door as well.

"Well, this blows," Yang grunted. "Just a sec, I think I saw some popcorn in the kitchen..."

Before she quite made it, the tv suddenly flickered to life again. Everyone turned to stare at it- it started with static, an odd ululating noise filling the air. Eventually, it returned to a dark screen, text scrawling across it as if being typed out.

_**CAN YOU SEE ME?**_

"Is this the guys?" Nora pondered. "We thought you were going to the hospital!"

_**YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. I AM FROM... ANOTHER PLACE.**_

"Another place?" Ruby asked.

The cursor that typed the text out blinked for a few moments.

_**DO YOU BELIEVE... IN GODS?**_

"Gods?" Pyrrha asked, surprised. "Well, I suppose... I don't consider myself _hyper _religious, but I did go to Sunday school on a fairly regular basis when I was a child..."

_**HOW DO YOU BELIEVE THE GODS CREATED THE WORLD?**_

To their surprise, Blake suddenly spoke up. "From nothingness- or so most stories go."

_**NOTHINGNESS... INDEED, ANY THEORETICAL GOD MUST HAVE CREATED THE WORLD FROM NOTHING. BUT THEN... WHAT MEANING CAN THIS WORLD TRULY HAVE?**_

"Whatever meaning we give it," Yang stood firm, eyes narrowing at the screen. "We'll follow our own wills."

_**INDEED... YOU POSSESS GREAT WILLS. THE WILL TO ACT... TO PLEASURE... TO LIVE. WHERE DO YOU BELIEVE THIS WILL COMES FROM? FROM GOD- OR COULD YOUR WILL, TOO, BE DERIVED FROM THAT PRIMORDIAL NOTHINGNESS?**_

"Does it matter where it came from?" Ren demanded. "All that matters it what we decide to do with it now."

_**...**_

"Nothing else to say?" Nora challenged.

_**...I ADMIRE YOUR WILL. PERHAPS YOU ARE THE ONES I AM SEARCHING FOR. THE OTHERS WILL RETURN SOON- PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE NEXT WORLD THEY SHOW YOU.**_

"What makes _you _so interested, huh?" Yang demanded.

_**TO TRUST ME OR NOT TO TRUST ME IS A DECISION ONLY YOU CAN MAKE. I ASK ONLY THAT YOU DO NOT TELL THE OTHERS ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION. BEHAVE AS THOUGH I NEVER APPEARED.**_

Suddenly, the screen was black again, and despite all their efforts, they couldn't get the text to reappear.

"Who _was _that?" Ruby wondered. "Should we... should we tell Crazy and George when they get back?"

"Of course we should!" Weiss declared immediately. "This individual is clearly not to be trusted- we know nothing about him!"

"Yeah, but... then again, how much do we know about Crazy and George?" Blake pointed out. "Perhaps this... man from another place wants to get us out of this situation."

"Why do we need him? Crazy and George are already working on getting us home," Nora countered.

"Or so they say," Pyrrha pointed out reluctantly. "They've already told us two conflicting stories- Crazy says George brought us here, George says it was Crazy. Either way, somebody's lying... and lest we forget, neither of them have told us their real names."

An uncomfortable silence fell. Finally, Ruby coughed. "Okay... how about this? We don't tell them about this- not yet. We keep playing nice and watching worlds- we'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious, and worry about it then, okay?"

They still didn't seem entirely comfortable, but they hardly had any better ideas.

XXXX

True to George's word, it was less than an hour before their hosts were back in the room. Crazy arrived first, sporting several bandages and with a large bag slung over his back, drawing quite a few confused eyes as he staggered over to Blake, plopping it down in her lap. She grunted, but her eyes turned to stars when she looked in to see nearly a hundred cans of tuna.

"There- take it and call your friends off next time they wanna beat me up," he grunted, staggering back to his armchair.

"Of course!" Blake nodded eagerly. "Guys, leave Crazy alone- I've decided we can absolutely trust him!"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "What about George? Shouldn't he be here-"

"I'm here, I'm here!"

The backdoor slid open and George came in, quickly stashing away a set of brass knuckles.

"Where were you at, Georgie?" Crazy asked.

"Taking care of some business," George shrugged off. "So, what's the next world?"

"Got it in already," Crazy reported, flicking on the tv. The guests leaned in, fascinated to see what universe this 'man from another place' wanted them to pay so much attention to.

The screen showed a single flower, seemingly made of light, against a background of pitch blackness. The title screen proudly spelled out,

_**Xiao Long**_

_**Automata**_

"Oh, does Yang star in this one, too?" Ruby asked excitedly.

"Nope, she's not in it at all," Crazy shook his head. "Makes sense, dunnit?"

"Then... Dad?" Yang asked, scratching her head.

"Nope, not at all," Crazy shook his head again. "Makes sense, dunnit?"

"Urgh- hurry up and explain already!" Yang shouted.

Crazy raised his hands in surrender- thankfully, Blake heeded her newfound loyalty and held her partner back.

"Okay, okay! This is actually a sequel to a previous story named _Xiao Long _that you _did _star in, so the title connects back to that- even if you aren't actually in this one!"

"That's ridiculous!" Weiss scoffed. "That would be like making a sequel to Batman that didn't have Batman in it, but still calling it Batman 2!"

"I don't make the rules!" Crazy threw his hands up in the air. "I just report on them!"

"Automata..." Ren pondered, eyeing the title screen. "Is this one about machines?"

"I am so glad you asked!" Crazy smiled. "Yes, every character in this one is either an android or a machine."

A long silence.

"What's the difference?" Weiss finally asked.

Crazy took a deep breath. "Okay, this world has some back story to it. I'll try to summarize as much as possible- this world is a post-apocalyptic one, taking place nearly ten thousand years after your current time. Remnant has just survived not one, but two apocalyptic events- first, a pandemic of something called White Chlorination Syndrome- that's where Yang's story came in." He nodded in Yang's direction. "And no sooner had Remnant recovered from that, then it was invaded by aliens from another planet."

"ALIENS! I KNEW IT, RENNY, I KNEW IT!" Nora cried, looking overjoyed as she shook Ren violently from side to side.

"It seems that this version of Remnant is remarkably unfortunate," Pyrrha commented.

"Yup," Crazy nodded. "The aliens didn't attack themselves- they left that to their vast army of robotic machines. The people of Remnant, pretty much fed up with getting crapped all over from every direction, took a vacation to the moon. From up there, they built an army of androids- robots built in humanity's own image- to go back and retake Remnant for them."

"The moon?" Blake asked. "Seems rather... unstable."

"The moon is whole in this universe," Crazy brushed aside.

"Eh, broken moon is prettier," Ruby shrugged.

"This story begins during the fourteenth war between androids and machines," Crazy returned to the screen. "After eight thousand years of fighting... they may at last have a chance to bring it to an end."

The guests glanced at each other- by all accounts, this was just another universe. What made it so special that this Man from Another Place had to instruct them to watch closely?

"If I may begin?"

XXXX

**The screen opens up on a desolate wasteland. Abruptly, several plane-like objects appear, racing over the land at near the speed of sound. Battle units for the androids, customized for maximum efficiency in the air. They formed a phalanx as they covered great distances like it was nothing. And from the unit just to the left of the leader, a voice spoke.**

_**Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in an endless spiral of life and death. Is this a curse? Some form of punishment?**_

_**I often think about the gods who blessed us with this cryptic puzzle... and wonder if we'll ever get the chance to kill them.**_

"Wait, is that Weiss?" Ruby asked, surprised- she'd never heard her partner sound this...bitter.

"Ice Queen's sounding a little emo in this one," Yang commented with a raised eyebrow.

Blake and Ren's minds were already whirring as to what Weiss's words might mean.

**A beeping chime could be heard, a voice communicating directly into the units' cockpits. "This is command- YoRHa squadron, come in. Do you read me? Over."**

"YoRHa?" Pyrrha asked.

"The official name for the android army," Crazy explained quickly.

**Weiss's voice sounded off again. "2B here- all units have penetrated the stratosphere."**

"Heheh," Yang smirked. "Pene-"

"Shut up, Yang," Weiss rolled her eyes. "What does 2B mean- a call-sign of some sort?"

"Officially, none of the androids have names of their own- only model numbers," Crazy returned to his role as grand expositor. "They can choose their own names, but during official business, they only refer to themselves by that model number- which, for you, Weiss, is 2B."

"That's rather... dehumanizing," Blake bit her lip.

"Perhaps," Ren agreed. "But then... we must remember that these are not humans. Not that I condone it, I merely wish to explain why it might be."

Blake nodded, and held her tongue- specifically, by loading it with some more tuna.

**Black boxes appeared next to each flight unit, listing their individual designations. Weiss's was, of course, labeled 2B- chosen name, Weiss. To her left was 12H- chosen name, Arslan. The two units to the leader's right were 11B- chosen name, Nebula, and 4B- chosen name, Scarlet. The leader, meanwhile... 7E- no chosen name.**

"Really? No name?" Ruby asked, surprised.

"E-units are... special," Crazy explained hesitantly. "They have to work in secrecy- they don't usually choose names for themselves."

"**We've passed the fifty-kilometer threshold- we're heading right for the target," 7E reported.**

"**Understood," nodded the voice speaking to the squad. "Once you reach the anti-air defenses, switch to manual-attack formation. Destroy the goliath-class unit by any means necessary."**

"Goliath? Like those big elephant grimm?" Ruby recalled seeing them during the brief outing to Mountain Glenn.

"A tad bigger than that," Crazy said evasively.

"**Underst-" 7E began, but was cut off as a gigantic laser cut through the air, blasting Arslan's unit into the ocean below.**

"What was _that?!" _Ruby asked, equal parts frightened and star-struck. Sure, she just saw someone die, but that weapon was so cool!

"I'm wanting to say that was the living embodiment of the phrase 'fuck you,'" Yang speculated.

"**12H down," 7E reported, her voice cold and uncaring for the loss of her comrade. "All units activate evasive maneuvers."**

"**Origin of long-range lasers confirmed!" called out Scarlet. "They're coming from the- ah!"**

**Another laser strike, and he was gone.**

"**4B down," 7E reported, as uncaring as ever. Her voice grew sharper. "Enemy units ahead!"**

**Out of nowhere, they were surrounded on all sides. "Requesting permission to engage!"**

"**Permission granted."**

**The remaining units opened fire, ducking and swerving around their opponents- round machine heads attached to hovering rings, unleashing dark orbs as their method of attacking the androids.**

"Pfffft!" Yang snorted. "_Those _are the machines!"

"They're adorable!" Ruby squealed.

"Hardly the most threatening appearance," Weiss agreed.

"Appearances are hardly everything," Pyrrha reminded them. "There must be a reason this war has been going on for eight thousand years."

**Weiss grunted as a large number of machines surrounded her. "Get... off me!" A large blade appeared around her flight unit- she swung it around and cleaved them all in half.**

"Ohhhh!" Ruby squealed. "Those things are so _cool! _I want one, I want one, I want one!"

"Will you take a Nacho for now?" Crazy implored.

Ruby glanced at the orange fluffball in her lap, smiling dopily up at her. "Yeah, I can live with this."

He broke into purrs as she scratched him behind the ears.

**Despite the machine's advantage in numbers, the androids clearly had superior firepower... at least until the laser fired again, destroying 7E.**

"**7E down... assuming command," Weiss reported.**

"Wow- they're really getting killed out there," Nora noted sadly.

**Weiss's unit flashed and turned from black to white to reflect her sudden promotion. More machines came flying out to surround her and Nebula, which they finished off with as much panache as before. However, the numbers were starting to swell to absurd levels. **

"**The numbers keep growing," Weiss reported. "Requesting permission to adopt mobile configuration."**

"**Granted."**

**The units began to shift again, turning from plane-like objects into large mechs, turning around and firing with greater accuracy while still screaming across the water. Weiss began to turn, letting a stream of laser fire off in all directions. **

Weiss rolled her eyes and raised a handkerchief to wipe the drool off her partner's chin.

"So... cool..."

**With their new maneuverability, they destroyed wave after wave of incoming machine with professional accuracy. They heard Nebula beginning to pant. "Captain, I... I..."**

"**Stay calm, 11B!" Weiss urged. "Stay c-"**

**Before she could even finish the line, the giant laser appeared again and wiped Nebula out of the sky.**

"Oh, my," Pyrrha clapped her hands over her mouth.

"At least you seem more compassionate than 7E," Blake commented, "but still... to not be able to do anything..."

"**...11B down," Weiss reported grimly.**

**She was no longer in danger of the laser herself, however- she was, at last, within sight of her target- an abandoned factory on the outskirts of Mountain Glenn, where their target was reported to reside. **

"**2B to 6O- all supporting units are down. Operation compromised- awaiting further orders." Indeed, she had brought her unit to a halt, hovering on the factory's outsides.**

"**O-Operator to 2B," came a shaky voice from the other end- the operator seemed far more affected by the massacre than Weiss herself did. "There is a scanner unit on-site. Rendevous with unit 9S and gather data on the terrain."**

"Anyone recognize that voice?" Ruby asked. Everyone shook their heads.

"I wonder who 9S will turn out to be?" Weiss pondered.

"Jaune-Jaune," Nora said immediately.

"What makes you say that?" Ren asked.

"We haven't seen our fearless leader yet- who else could it be?"

The others blinked, but were hard-pressed to argue her logic.

"**Understood," Weiss confirmed- she returned her flight unit to its plane shape and took off into the factory, using a small opening and racing down a corridor loaded with still more machines. After a solid minute, she found herself streaking towards a solid wall.**

"Weiss, no!" Ruby screamed.

**The unit crashed into it, breaking through to the other side- at the cost of its own integrity. It was absolutely destroyed, but from the fragments, a woman came spinning in the air, landing cleanly on the other side. In a black uniform and skirt, a long white rapier at her side, long white hair done up in a sidetail, it was clear who the woman was.**

"And she sticks the landing!" Yang cheered.

"That's... me?" Weiss gasped. She looked older in this universe, the uniform making it clear she was part of an army of some sort. However, what caught her attention most was...

"Why is she wearing a blindfold?" Blake asked, arching an eyebrow.

"They just _look _like blindfolds," Crazy exposited like he'd been practicing all his life. "They're actually high-tech visors that let them see way more than- oof!" He was interrupted as Nala seemed to appear out of the floor, tackling him and beginning to nuzzle all over him, purring loudly. She threw a smug glance over at the people on the couch, then turned back to Crazy. "Er... I guess I won't be explaining much- mmmffff..." His voice was cut off as Nala clung onto his face.

**From behind Weiss appeared a large, rectangular box of some sort, hovering over the ground, with two small, cylindrical arms- and it spoke. "Alert- large enemy group detected."**

"Wait- is that?!" Nora gasped.

**A text box confirmed it- Pod 042- chosen name, Ren.**

"Oh, he's so adorable!" Nora squealed.

"..._That's _me?" Ren asked through half-lidded eyes, less than impressed that this should be his first appearance in these other worlds.

With Nala currently trying to shove herself down Crazy's throat, it was up to George to take over the exposition slot. "According to the Hand, certain YoRHa units are given a support pod to back them up in the field. He may not seem like much, but he performs a vital function to the army."

"He sounds exactly like the real Ren," Yang chuckled. "Can't tell if that's its own accuracy, or just how robotic the real Ren sounds to begin with!"

"Hey, you shutcha mouth!" Nora narrowed her eyes. "Renny is perfection and I won't hear otherwise!"

Ren glanced away. "Er... thank you, Nora."

"**Thank you, Ren, I am aware of that," Weiss rolled her eyes beneath her blind-visor. **

"Yup, that's Weiss alright!" Ruby grinned brightly, glad to see her partner in there.

"All that's missing is her calling Ren a dolt," Blake gave half a smirk.

**Even more machines were appearing, still not particularly impressing the audience- they looked like oversized tinker toys. Until their chests started opening and firing sawblades. Weiss dodged and began destroying them with deft precision, utilizing her rapier to its fullest extent. The machines were, once again, hard-pressed to so much as land a hit on her as she leapt in the air from one to the other. Ren made his contribution known, firing a steady stream of machine gun fire- albeit that the bullets seemed more like lasers. Between the two of them, they were doing a remarkable job of clearing out the room.**

**At last, a particularly large machine leapt down, managing to smack Weiss to the ground, but she was quick to rise back to her feet- a sweep of her leg managed to throw the machine off its footing. She leapt into the air and rushed around it, delivering precise slashes and stabs with her rapier, almost as if she was using glyphs- though she clearly wasn't. By the time she was done, the machine was reduced to scrap.**

"**Enemies destroyed," Ren noted succinctly.**

Yang whistled. "Damn, Ice Queen's got some moves here."

Weiss nodded mutely- the version of herself on screen seemed to have attained the level of perfection she sought herself.

"**Not quite," Weiss disagreed as one of the walls began to buckle. **

**She dodged out of the way just as it caved in altogether, a large arm ending in a massive sawblade busting through and nearly destroying her in a single swipe. The text box appeared- Unit- Unknown. **

"Oh, it's a big ol' fish!" Ruby squeaked.

"And that's just the arm!" Pyrrha nodded, aghast. "How massive must the unit as a whole be?"

"If only they had you out there," Nora smirked. "Something tells me you'd have ended this war a long time ago."

"I... I suppose," Pyrrha shrugged, turning red.

**Weiss and Ren quickly got to work, Ren firing an endless stream of laser-bullets at the arm, Weiss dodging and striking with her rapier whenever it was feasible. **

"**Is this- the target?" Weiss grunted as she searched for any sort of weak point.**

"**Negative," Ren denied. "However, it **_**does **_**pose an immediate threat. Proposal- destroy it swiftly."**

"**You don't- say!" Weiss grouched as she narrowly dodged another potentially-deadly swing.**

"**Recovering laser communications... laser communications recovered."**

**Ren flew up high and... unfolded, turning to directly face the arm before firing a laser of its own- nowhere near as large and destructive as the ones Weiss had been forced to weave through, but enough to bring a halt to the arm.**

"Welp, woulda been handy if you coulda used that earlier, Renny," Yang chortled.

As Nora threw her an angry glare clearly spelling out, _I'm the only one who gets to call him Renny, bitch, _Ren offered an explanation. "Such an attack likely takes a great deal of energy. It is most likely best to use it only as a last resort."

"**Thank you, Ren," Weiss bowed lightly. "Now, where can we-"**

**She stopped mid-sentence as the arm roared back into life, arching high into the sky- only for a series of missiles to blow it to bits from the side. Weiss looked up to the sky to see her savior- a blond android in another flight unit, hovering down to where she could see him. "That was dangerous, ma'am," he chided lightly. "Better make sure he's dead next time."**

"Jauney!" Nora whooped.

"The knight in shining armor saves his princess!" Yang teased.

"I believe I could have handled it myself, thank you very much!" Weiss scoffed, fighting to keep her cheeks from glowing red.

Ruby and Pyrrha saw, though- and it didn't make them too happy.

**Another text box appeared- Unit 9S- chosen name, Jaune. "You must be 2B, right?" he asked. "Chosen name... Weiss?"**

"**Correct," Weiss nodded curtly.**

"**Well, I'm 9S- you can call me Jaune, if you want. I'm here to provide support."**

"Oh, and this is your first meeting!" Yang ramped her teasing up. "Maybe he _can _get into your heart this time, if he plays his cards right!"

"Silence, you oaf," Weiss rolled her eyes, while silently wondering... if things had gone differently, _would _she be willing to allow him a place in her heart?

"**Copy that," Weiss nodded. **

"**So, was that big ol' buzzsaw the target?" Jaune asked, almost hopefully.**

"**No- simply another defensive system."**

"**Well, that sucks. Guess we'll have to find the real target, then?"**

"**That is the logical conclusion, yes."**

"**Well, I've got a flight unit- I'll scan things from the air, let ya know if I find anything."**

"**Very well. I'll work my way in further on foot," Weiss agreed.**

"Gotta say, I'm liking Jauney a lot more here," Nora commented. "Everyone else is so cold and formal, and he's just..."

"He's as he always is," Pyrrha nodded. "This seems to be the most accurate Jaune yet."

**Jaune nodded and took off into the air. Weiss leapt through what had once been the wall and was taken outside to a series of metal rails and walkways that connected the many towers of the abandoned factory. When she came to a dead end, Ren proved his usefulness once more as he shot down the chains holding a beam up above, allowing it to fall and form a bridge for Weiss to proceed further. **

**As they continued through a twisting maze of rusted metal, they happened upon several more machines, but none that truly stood a chance against them. If they ever came across a gap, Weiss would leap across it- if she needed an extra boost, she'd simply grab onto Ren's arms, and he'd carry her that little extra further that she needed.**

**As she was climbing up a twisted set of stairs, Ren suddenly appeared in front of her, unfolding to show a screen of sorts, upon which they could see Jaune flying through the air. "I've got some data I could send to you, if you want."**

"**Do it," Weiss commanded.**

**She broke into a sprint, following a catwalk twisting its way around one of the towers, climbing her way up and up, destroying every machine in her way with little more than a thought. Anything she missed, Ren didn't.**

**She entered the tower at the top into a large, circular room and found herself surrounded by more machines, firing large orbs of some sort of energy at her- only for her to slice them in half with her sword.**

"She is taking this place apart!" Yang noted, eyes wide.

"Indeed... these androids are clearly the cream of the crop," Blake agreed. "I suppose they would have to be, to fight this war for as long as they have."

"Screw the war!" Nora interrupted, aghast. "How haven't the androids won by now, when they're _this _awesome?!"

"I suspect that, while Weiss is indeed... cream of the crop," Ren speculated, "the machines she's fighting are not. I'm sure they have some better cards up their sleeves than this."

"**You know, ma'am," Jaune chimed in through Ren as Weiss left the tower and crossed a narrow path towards another, "I'm glad you're here. Scanners usually work alone- I don't usually get partners. It's kinda fun!"**

**Weiss twitched slightly, then spoke coldly. "Emotions are prohibited."**

"**Oh, sorry, ma'am!" Jaune quickly apologized.**

"Harsh," Ruby winced. "I mean, he's just trying to say he's having fun with you..."

"I guess Weissy's pretty accurate in this one, too," Yang shrugged.

Blake and- particularly- Weiss, however, were less confident. They'd both picked up on that twitch- there was more to the story than what they were seeing- a _reason _that Weiss was acting so coldly towards this version of Jaune.

"**And another thing," Weiss continued. "Stop calling me ma'am."**

"**Huh?"**

"**It's... unnecessary."**

"**Oh- can I... can I call you Weiss then?"**

**Weiss seemed somewhat conflicted. Finally, she decided on, "Call me what you want."**

"**Weiss it is, then!" Jaune declared happily.**

"Aw, Weiss, you _do _care!" Yang grinned, pulling her into a mighty one-armed hug, smile only growing larger as Weiss struggled and protested.

**The temperature seemed to increase around Weiss as she continued through the labyrinth- she was now fighting machines on the catwalks above vast, olympic-sized pools of molten metal, creating an eerie glow. If she even noticed this heat, she showed no signs of it. She didn't even show a second's hesitation in climbing ladders made out of metal themselves. Her path zigzagged up and down stairs and ladders, large platforms hovering above the liquid steel. She passed several elevators, but none of them seemed to be functional. Nevertheless, it really brought home just how large this facility must be, if everything they were seeing was only the uppermost layer.**

"**This place is enormous," Weiss commented.**

**Jaune chimed in- "I think the humans used it as a weapons factory- but now, it's crawling with machines. I think they're using it to mass-produce units of their own."**

"**Let's drive them out," Weiss decided.**

"There's one thing for you," Ren pointed out. "No matter how many machines YoRHa destroys, as long as they have facilities like this, they can just keep coming."

**A voice spoke over the speakers above, drawing Weiss's attention. "What's that all about?"**

"**The machines accessing random junk data from the old world," Jaune answered. "There's no actual meaning behind anything the machines do."**

"That's... an interesting thing to say." Blake bit her lip to keep from saying anything harsher.

"Though, from what we've seen, it may well be true. Unlike the androids, we have yet to see the machines express anything resembling a soul," Ren noted.

"That doesn't mean they don't have them!" Ruby pointed out, perhaps feeling somewhat personally attacked- two of her best friends were machines, after all! Penny _and _Crescent Rose!

"I'm open to the idea," Ren assured them. "I'm merely pointing out their own perspective, at the moment."

**At last, Weiss fought her way out of the smelting room into another tower, where the machines presented a new piece of equipment. "The enemies have procured energy shields," Ren announced. "I cannot fire through these- close quarters combat advised."**

"**This **_**isn't **_**my first mission, Ren," Weiss pointed out as she began to dance around the room, attacking the various machines from behind. **

"**Affirmative," Ren answered simply.**

"Ah, Renny's just tryin' ta help!" Nora pouted on her friend's behalf.

"Yeah, the way she's berating him, it's almost like she's accusing him of-"

"STOP!"

Everyone jumped- even Nala jumped off of Crazy's face in surprise, leaving some scratch marks that combined with the sudden fire in his eyes to make him look more intimidating than he had at any point prior. "We do _not _talk about _that _in _this house!"_

"Talk about what?" Ruby asked, qualing under his expression.

"Yeah, what?" George asked, just as surprised as everyone else- he'd hardly seen Crazy this riled up before.

Crazy glanced around, took a deep breath, and returned to his seat- Nala wasted no time in leaping back into his lap. "Nothing... never mind... let's just get back to the show."

The outburst had, at least, finally awoken Trico- just long enough to migrate from Ren's head to Blake's lap, where he returned to a deep slumber. Blake looked down and sighed. _I need to pee..._

**The machines came in thicker and thicker waves, but shields seemed to be a somewhat rare commodity, allowing Ren to get back in on the action whenever he spied machines without that blessing. **

**The last machine's fall heralded the opening of the next door, finally releasing Weiss into the (marginally) cooler outdoors, where she frightened of a flock of what seemed to be seagulls. "Birds!" she gasped, seemingly more taken aback than at any other point they'd witnessed.**

"**Yup," Jaune agreed. "There's been a rise in plant and animal life over the past few years- I'm guessing there's been some change in climate."**

**He paused. "Weiss, I've scanned the whole factory- I can't find the target. Do you think it might have... moved?"**

"**I doubt it," Weiss shook her head as she set off across a bridge towards still another tower. **

**A tower which was moving.**

**Two more arms appeared- enormous, and ending in buzzsaws, just like the first Weiss had fought on foot. They began scraping along the bridge, doing everything they could to reach her and destroy her. She dodged and began striking with her rapier. **

"**You have enough power for another laser?" she asked quickly.**

"**Negative," Ren denied. "Jamming signal detected- long-range communications impossible."**

"**Just me and 9S, then," Weiss mused as she ducked under another swing.**

**No sooner had she said it than the arms finished their trip down the bridge, connecting to the tower as it stood up.**

"**Target enemy detected," Ren announced.**

"That... _that's _a goliath?" Pyrrha gasped.

"Ah, shit," Yang grimaced. "Okay, I guess _this _would give those androids some trouble, huh?"

"**Ren... fire at will," Weiss ordered.**

"**Affirmative."**

**Weiss, meanwhile, was left to do all the dodging she could- the mighty arms with their buzzsaws, missiles fired from unseen silos larger than five of her standing together. The bridge she'd been walking on was destroyed- it was all she could do to keep ahead of the carnage, let alone pull out a victory.**

"Hate to say it, Ice Queen, but I think you might have met your match," Yang patted her on the back.

"Here, have Nacho," Ruby offered, dropping the large orange cat onto her lap. Nacho was surprised, but immediately settled down when Weiss began furiously rubbing his tummy.

"**Weiss!" a voice screamed, as Jaune appeared in his flight unit, opening fire on the goliath from above.**

"Oh! The cavalry's here!" Nora cheered, hopping up on the couch. "Prepare to _die, _goliath!"

"**Weiss, what's your status?" Jaune asked as he worked to fend off the colossus. **

"**This is the target," Weiss announced. "I'm going to destroy it."**

"She seems suicidally overconfident," Blake muttered grimly.

"Fake it til you make it, baby!" Nora insisted.

"**Right- I'll provide support!" **

**And indeed he did- as the goliath fired another volley of missiles, he managed to hack into its system and stop them in midair, turning them around and sending them right back. **

"He can do that?" Pyrrha gasped.

"Scanner-type models can do all sorts of things with technology," Crazy nodded. "This is just the tip of the iceberg."

**The goliath flailed as it was impaled upon its own figurative sword, but only seemed angered, if anything. It raised one of its arms high and began to bring it down on Weiss- who was out of bridge to run. **

**Jaune screamed, charging forward with his flight unit and ramming into one arm, knocking it off course. He was sent flying back into the other just as it swung up, knocking him out of the air like a fly, eventually landing on the top of the goliath's back.**

"**9S!" Weiss screamed, charging towards the goliath. It had, at one point, been a tower, allowing her to use the old catwalks and railing to ascend up its back towards where Jaune had landed.**

"Did... did they kill Jaune?" Ruby whimpered.

"Can't be- this is supposed to be about him!" Nora reminded them.

Weiss found herself clenching a fist as she watched herself onscreen climb up towards Jaune. _You'd better not be dead... not after what you did for me..._

**Finally, Weiss climbed one last ladder and found him. It wasn't a pretty sight- his left arm and leg were both missing, and he seemed to have vomited up a great deal of the white fluid that served as androids' blood. **

"**9S!" Weiss screamed closing the distance between them in short order. **

"I don't get it," Nora mused. "It seems like she's warmed up to him a bit, but she still won't call him by his name?"

"That's Weiss for ya," Ruby shrugged.

Weiss's fist was still clenched. _Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead!_

**Weiss cradled Jaune's head in her arms. "I have to repair him... Ren! I need staunching gel and logic-virus vaccines! Then-"**

"**Inadvisable." Ren's voice was that of cool, unflappable logic. "The subject's vital signs are too poor to attempt field repair in the current-"**

"**SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I SAY!" Weiss screamed.**

"She's really letting this get to her, for someone who didn't know him until less than an hour ago," Blake noted.

"You blame her? After everything he did for her?" Yang pointed out.

Blake conceded, but privately continued thinking...

**Jaune stirred, looking up at her. "Weiss... it's okay... just go..."**

"**YOU SHUT UP TOO!" Weiss barked- she sounded on the verge of tears. **

"**It's okay," Jaune fought to offer a winning smile. "We're soldiers... we take pride in... our service..."**

**Ren hovered over to Jaune's abandoned flight unit- damaged, bnt not unsalvageable. "The flight unit is still in working order. Transferring usage rights from 9S to 2B. Requesting acknowledgment."**

"**Please, Weiss... finish this..."**

**Weiss nodded firmly as she finally rose to her feet. "Very well."**

**She leapt in and took off, flying around to face the goliath as it continued to swat at her like a fly. She deftly dodged every swing and unleashed a steady stream of fire. **

"You better take that thing out, Weiss," Nora snarled. "Anyone that hurts our fearless leader deserved a leg breaking!... But I'll settle for just destroying it for now."

**The goliath opened its face and fired a laser right in tune with that which had destroyed Weiss's comrades earlier. As she dodged, she heard Jaune on her comms. "Weiss... I found a weakness... hacking in... to provide support..."**

"**STOP WASTING YOUR ENERGY!"**

**Jaune chuckled wryly. "Too late for that... listen... its upper arm... your pod... should be able to..."**

**He let out a hacking cough as the line went dead.**

**Weiss took off, examining the upper arms closely. "Ren, do you see what he was talking about?!"**

"**Affirmative. Hacking into upper arm now."**

**Weiss pulled away and rushed towards the arm at the fastest speed she could- she heard the bang around her as she shattered the sound barrier. **

**One large explosion later, and the goliath's arm had been thoroughly severed from the whole. **

"**Enemy subjugation complete," Ren announced.**

**A golden ring appeared around the arm as it fell towards the ocean, and it stopped, rising up and affixing itself to Weiss's position.**

"**Now... time to get even," Weiss snarled.**

"No way..." Yang, Blake, and Pyrrha's eyes widened.

"No way!" Ruby squealed.

**Again and again, Weiss drove the spinning buzzsaw into its former owner. With one strike, she severed the other arm as well- with the next, she tore open chest.**

"**Just... DIE!"**

**And with one final strike, she destroyed the head.**

**The goliath slumped over into the ocean, defeated.**

"That... was... AWESOME!" Ruby bounced up and down in her seat.

"Man, if only we could pull stuff like that with the grimm, eh?" Yang chortled.

"POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!" Nora agreed heartily.

Blake, Pyrrha, Ren, and Weiss, however, seemed more subdued. "But..." Weiss noted quietly, "what about Jaune?"

Eyes widened, and rears returned to seats.

**Weiss carelessly cast the arm back into the sea before rushing to the goliath- thankfully, it had landed upright. **

**Jaune smiled when he saw her. "Talk about... taking the fight to them, huh?"**

**Weiss looked around- after that little maneuver, the flight unit seemed damaged beyond repair. "Contact Command- request assistance." It sounded more like a request than an order at this point.**

"**I... don't think I can do that," Jaune sadly shook his head. "There... Weiss, there are more..."**

"**What?" **

**The ocean began to roll and twist as three more goliaths rose from the waves beneath.**

"Oh, come on!" Nora wailed.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me!" Yang screamed.

"What now?" Pyrrha asked, eyes wide and hands covering her mouth.

"**Well," Jaune groaned, reaching towards his chest, "there's only one way this ends... we might as well take them with us, am I right?"**

**His chest opened, and from it, he plucked a small black cube.**

**Weiss looked at him sadly. "A black box reaction?"**

"**I've already set everything up," Jaune nodded. "All I need is the captain's permission."**

**Weiss nodded as she reached up to her own chest. Like Jaune's it opened up and dispensed a black cube before closing. **

"What... what're they doing?" Nora asked, finding herself on the verge of tears.

"They must complete the mission," Ren guessed, giving voice to the horror in everyone's mind. "By any means necessary."

**Jaune held up his black box. "Requesting... destruction of enemy hostiles... via black-box reaction."**

"**Permission granted," Weiss nodded.**

**The boxes began to glow with yellow energy. **

"**Weiss," Jaune returned with his winning smile, "it's... been an honor. Truly, it has."**

"**The honor... was all mine."**

**They clinked their boxes together as if toasting.**

**The world exploded.**

There was not a dry eye in the audience. "Why would you do this?" Weiss demanded angrily of Crazy. "Why would you show us this?!"

"Let me ask you one question," Crazy suggested. "Is it over?"

They looked back to the screen- and to their surprise, it wasn't. **The screen had shifted to an image of Remnant from orbit, many stars in the background.**

**A moment passed, and they realized they were looking through a window- a window being peered through by none other than 2B- AKA, Weiss.**

"What?" Weiss asked flatly- a reaction mirrored by the others.

"But... but she died!" Ruby flapped her arms around. "We saw her die!"

"No... we saw _a _Weiss die," Ren realized, stroking his chin gently.

"Whaddya mean?" Yang shouted. "Speak sense!"

"Weiss is an android in this universe, correct?" Ren pointed out.

"I see," Blake nodded, seeing where he was going with this. "Androids aren't as limited as humans are- even if the body is destroyed, if the programming- the _soul-_can be salvaged..."

"Then Weiss could live on!" Pyrrha nodded, catching on. "But wait... does that mean Jaune survived, too?"

**Weiss stepped away from the window and moved through the station she seemed to be standing in- it was shaped like a large circle in space, and she walked along the inside of the outermost ring. She hadn't gone too far before running into an android identical in every way to Jaune.**

"**So... mission complete, I think," he said, sounding oddly stiff and formal for what the two of them had just survived together. "Goliaths wiped out, a route into enemy territory secure... now we can-"**

"**9S?" Weiss interrupted.**

"**Oh- yes, ma'am?"**

**Weiss couldn't fight the smile on her face. "For uploading my data to the Bunker."**

**Her smile faltered with his response. "I... I did that? My apologies, ma'am, I don't actually remember the mission... there wasn't a whole lot of bandwidth down there, you know? In fact, I hear that we even lost one of our units for good- 11B was cut off from the server altogether. My guess is... I only had time to back up **_**your **_**data."**

"Wait, waitwaitwait, hold on- _what's _going on?" Nora raised her hands in confusion.

"It seems that, while Jaune has survived in another body, he failed to back up his memories of the mission- he was too busy ensuring that Weiss remembered instead," Ren explained. "All of his own memories of the mission- including meeting her- have been wiped."

"But... but _she _still remembers?" Ruby asked, eyes widening in horror.

Weiss felt a pit form in her stomach at the idea of Jaune suddenly forgetting all about her- because he'd chosen to save _her _over himself...

**The Weiss on screen, however, concealed any disappointment she felt. "I see."**

"**Still, from what I can tell, the mission was a big success!" Jaune smiled. He placed an arm over his chest in a form of salute. "Glory to mankind!"**

**Weiss slowly raised her arm over her own chest, returning the salute. "Glory... to mankind."**

**Jaune smiled and continued on his way, oblivious to Weiss's trembling in his wake- to the way her hand clenched into a shaking fist.**

_XXXX_

Thank you all for returning once more. Before I sign off, an addendum to the rules of the poll- as much as I'd love to fulfill every one of your wishes, there are certain IP's that I simply don't trust myself to be able to write a decent chapter for. These will usually be stories with a density of lore I barely even comprehend, and don't trust myself to be able to master well enough to write a good chapter for it. In such events, I will simply not add this to the poll- I hope you can all forgive me, but I don't want to give you a half-baked chapter that does great disservice to the stories you love- that, in my opinion, is far worse than not getting such a chapter at all. If you make a suggestion that doesn't make it into the poll, this will be the most likely explanation. As this rule was just now set in place, I will reset the poll on my profile- I don't wish to be unfair about this whole thing. Be sure to cast your votes again- I promise this will be the only time. I'm just a bit of a klutz just starting out on his reactsverse adventure, I beg your forgiveness.

(Sidenote, due to the overwhelming number of submissions, I'm also implementing a 'four-suggestions-per-reader' limit. Why four? No real reason, I... just like four.)

Assuming you can all forgive me, I hope to see you again next time. Until then, Please R&R, any feedback appreciated, Gamer4 out.


	6. Demonic Passion

Gamer4 in, and at last, the poll has ended. Who won? ...All of you are perverts. Grab a chastity belt and sit down.

Disclaimer: High School DXD belongs to Ichiei Ishibumi. I wish I had something wittier to say, but...

Episode V

Demonic Passion

Silence once again fell as Crazy and George left to 'gather the results of the poll,' as they said. After ten solid minutes of trying and failing to remove Trico from Blake's lap, Yang surrendered and went to pop some popcorn. Blake sighed, but surrendered to her fate, while Ruby glanced at Weiss. "So... Weiss? You okay?"

"That world..." Weiss whispered.

Pyrrha seemed as though she was of two minds- wanting to help Weiss and keep her away from Jaune at all costs in equal measure.

Even Nora could sense the tension- she nudged Ren, who cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Indeed... that world. Why was the Man from Another Place so insistent that we pay specific heed to that world?"

"Maybe he ships those two?" Blake ventured, still struggling to leave Trico's vicegrip.

"What do boats have to do with this?" Weiss asked in agitation.

"Not what she meant, Ice Queen!" Yang called from the kitchen. "She's saying this guy might want to see you n' Vomit Boy together- romantically!"

Weiss turned furiously red. "Well... if that's the case, how _dare _he?! He has no cause to be meddling around in our lives like that!"

"I don't suspect that that's the case," Ren shook his head. "I feel there's more to it than that."

"Let's ask him!" Nora suggested eagerly. She ran up to the tv and started yelling at it. "Hey, Dude from Another Place- why'd you want us to watch that world so bad?!"

The tv didn't answer.

"It seems he will only speak to us on his own terms," Ren speculated. "He either won't or can't come when he is called."

"Laaaaaame!" Nora groaned, collapsing back onto the couch with enough force to stir Trico again- he lazily climbed over to Weiss and draped himself around her neck like a scarf before passing out again. Blake was gone before anyone else could comment.

"Man, this guy really likes to sleep," Ruby giggled, scratching him behind his ears.

"I wish he could find a better place to do so," Weiss groaned.

"All in all, though, princess," Yang commented, entering the room with a gigantic tub of popcorn, "I'd say you could do worse than Jauney-boy."

"Why is this what we have to talk about now?" Weiss rolled her eyes.

"I'm just sayin'," Yang shrugged. "He ain't half-bad. Sure, he's a little scraggly, but he's pretty loyal, and I'm sure he'd never do the sorta thing that Neptune-"

Before she could finish her sentence, there was a loud, cold shriek from outside, sending a chill down their spines. It didn't sound like whoever was screaming was afraid- no, they were causing fear.

A series of thunderous footsteps echoed on the steps leading to the house's front door, which opened and slammed shut. They could hear Crazy panting. "Ugh- keep out, keep out, keep out!" They could hear something on the other side, banging to come in.

"What's going on?!" Weiss gasped.

"Weiss! Get down here and help me!" Crazy shouted.

"What- what do you mean?"

"You summoned her, you gotta send her back off!"

"What are you _talking about?!_"

"Ugh- Weiss, you _moron! _Get down here right now, or you're gonna be sorry! She gets in here, she'll rip off your limbs one by one, or she'll just stick you in a smegging furnace! How can someone with such a big smart brain be tempted like such a useless _lesbian, _huh?!" He put on a high, simpering voice. "Oh, Sally, I love you, Sally, come over here and give Weiss a big sloppy kiss, Sally! Pull your head out of your smegging butt and start helping!"

Everyone glanced at each other with mouths open, taken aback by Crazy's sudden tirade.

Weiss's eyes narrowed in rage. "Ex-_cuse _me?!"

Suddenly, the slamming died down, and Crazy sighed heavily as he came up the stairs into the living room. "Sorry- distracting you was the only way to keep her out."

"...What?" pretty much everyone asked.

"The hell was all that about?" Yang demanded.

"What was all that about a useless lesbian?" Weiss put in, still looking furious.

"Sally," Crazy muttered offhandedly, before suddenly raising his hands to cover his mouth.

"Sally?" Blake asked, returning from the restroom, looking as befuddled as everyone else- she clearly heard everything. "Who's Sally?"

Crazy glanced around, and gulped. "Okay... listen up, and listen close, because I'm only gonna say this once."

Everyone nodded, and listened in.

"...I'm not gonna _talk _about Sally. In fact, _we _aren't gonna talk about Sally- we're going to leave her out of this."

Everyone nearly faceplanted. "_What?_"

"Come on, I've got the next universe lined up-"

"No, nononono, we're not leaving this there!" Weiss demanded, leaping to her feet. "What _was _all that, who's Sally, and why did you have to _insult _me to make it all stop?!"

"Like I said, I was distracting you," Crazy shrugged offhandedly. "I want to tell you more, but Sally... she's positive about this. Come on, next universe."

Weiss still didn't look entirely pleased, but conceded that she wasn't getting anymore answers out of him, returning to the couch.

"So, what's this universe?" Pyrrha asked, taking some of the popcorn as she watched.

"The readers voted on this one," Crazy declared. "Buckle up- there's gonna be some... stuff in here."

"Stuff?" Weiss asked coldly, still clearly upset about the earlier incident. "I love stuff."

"I don't think you get it," Crazy shook his head. "_Stuff._" He raised a hand and wrapped it into a circle, before sticking a finger through it.

"Ohhhhh..." Yang's eyes widened. "Wait- should Ruby really-"

"Yang, I'm fifteen, not twelve," Ruby rolled her eyes heavily. "I _know _what sex is."

The group could almost hear the record scratch in Yang's brain. "Wait... wha...?"

"What, you thought I still believed in the stork?" Ruby asked. "Dad gave me the talk two years ago."

Yang's eyes remained wide, as she seemed to shut down, collapsing into her seat on the sofa. "...Already knows... already knows..."

"I suspect this is gonna take a while to blow over," Crazy noted. "Shall we get started?"

"Where's Georgie?" Nora asked.

"Oh, he gave me this letter," Crazy snapped his fingers, pulling an envelope out of his coat pocket. "Let's see... _not with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole. _I guess that means he won't be joining us for this one."

"Huh- alright," Nora shrugged.

"Let's pop this in, shall we...?"

XXXX

**The next universe wasted no time going for the throat, blood splattering across the ground- they could hear the sound of Jaune gagging, coughing it up. **_**Night begins to close in on me, **_**a narrator reflected. **_**The blackest night... the color of her hair.**_

"Oh, _another _dark one?!" Ruby whimpered, even as Nacho made his appearance. "Can't we have a funny one for a change?"

"Whose hair is he talking about?" Weiss pondered.

"Blake's," Nora stated.

"But what about-"

"Nope! Blake's."

"Okay..." Weiss crossed her arms. "But what _is _Blake to him in this universe, then? An old friend or lover? Or is she the one who put him in this state?"

"Oh! I hope she's a lover!" Nora squealed. "We've seen him with Pyrrha and Weiss, it's time for one with Blake!"

Blake tilted her head in consideration, but said nothing- shocker. Yang, meanwhile, was still catatonic.

_**The blackest hair I've ever seen- just like the darkness closing in around me. **_

**Above him stood a young woman in a school uniform, her hair flying behind her as if caught in a high wind. A bow sat atop her head, but caught up in whatever bizarre wind surrounded her, it flew off to reveal a pair of cat ears.**

**The girl turned around, revealing quite the hefty rack as well. **_**Well, if I'm gonna die, there are worst things that could be my last sight...**_

"**Not today," the girl objected to his unspoken thoughts. "I'm not going to let you die."**

"Ex-cuse me!" Weiss objected, suddenly turning red and crossing her arms over her chest. "Should we really be focusing on Blake's chest when Jaune is about to-"

"I don't mind," Blake shrugged.

"What do you _mean, _you don't mind?!"

"I mean, given my usual reading material, I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I did, don't you think?"

Weiss opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

Ruby tilted her head. "Since when were you so comfortable talking about it?"

"Meditating with Ren," Blake shrugged as she fist-bumped her fellow ninja.

"Always happy to help," Ren inclined his head.

**Earlier that week...**

**Jaune lay on the lawn surrounding Beacon High School, gazing up at the bright, blue sky. "Y'know, guys... boobs have to be the best thing ever."**

"**Yup, ain't no arguing that," agreed Cardin, laying right next to him. **

"**Not gonna say you're wrong," Neptune threw in his two cents, "but what does it matter if we can't get our hands on some?"**

"Wha- what the- of all the _disrespectful-_" Weiss spluttered. Pyrrha was burning red, while Ren was unfazed. Nora had her hand on her chin like a detective, taking in everything that was said, while Ruby tilted her head in confusion.

"Y'know, I never really got why guys are so into them," she noted. "I mean, they're really just big sacks of fat, when you get right down to it..."

A bit of drool dribbled from Yang's mouth- her eyes were still milky white.

"You got it all messed up, Rubes!" Nora declared chirpily. "It's not the _fat, _it's what it _signifies!"_

"And what's that?"

"Eh, I'll tell you when you're older," Nora shrugged offhandedly.

"**You pullin' my leg, Neptune?" Jaune asked, sitting up and gazing at the sports area below. "You wanna remind me why we enrolled here?"**

"'**Cause this place was an all girls' school 'til a couple years back?" Cardin ventured with a smirk. "I'm no math whiz, but I like that ratio."**

"**Exactly- wasn't the idea that chicks'd be linin' up for a chance with the few eligible bachelors?"**

"**Our very own harem," Neptune smiled as they rose to their feet.**

"How... how _degrading!" _Weiss snarled. "Can you believe-"

She turned to see that nobody was backing her up. Ruby still seemed to be pondering why boys were attracted to boobs, Blake and Pyrrha were both blushing, Nora was still looking inquisitively at the screen, Ren was... Ren, Yang was still babbling gibberish under her breath, and Crazy was struggling to keep Nala from reaching into his chest and pulling out his soul.

She sighed heavily and ran a hand over Trico's head- asleep though he was, he began purring anyways.

"**Yeah, that was the plan," Neptune nodded, smile vanishing, "but here we are... not one girl between the three of us."**

"**You thinkin' about throwing in the towel?" Cardin pondered.**

"**NO!" Jaune cried, rising to his feet and raising a declarative finger. "Never give up- never surrender! It is **_**never **_**too late!"**

"Yeah!" Nora whooped. "You tell 'em, fearless leader! You never back down from _anything!"_

Pyrrha wasn't sure whether or not she wished that her Jaune shared a similar attitude.

**A group of girls were jogging by, but paused, wide-eyed and beaming, when they spied another boy relaxing under the shade of a tree. He wore the same uniform as the 'Three Stooges,' but the top wasn't buttoned at all, showing off his abs to the world. **

"**Oh, Sun! Sun, what're you doing right now?" the girls asked, flocking around him.**

"Oh, so _Sun's _a lady killer in this world!" Nora grinned, pulling double duty while Yang sulked in the corner, cultivating mushrooms with a stormcloud over her head. "Whatcha think about that, Blakey?"

"Leave teasing me to Yang, Nora," Blake rolled her eyes. "She has far more experience than you. Sun can do whatever he wants- we're not seeing each other. Even if we were, I wouldn't be seeing _that _one."

Nora pouted. "I gotta try harder..."

"**Maybe you want to go sing karaoke with us?"**

"**Sounds like a fun time," Sun gave them his famous winning grin, "but 'fraid I gotta pass. Club business, ya know?"**

"**Awwwww..."**

"**I'll look ahead, see if I can't clear up my schedule later!"**

"**Yaaaay!"**

"Huh, he's pretty cool about it," Ruby noted. "I'm thinking most guys would be all over them."

"Sun acts carefree," Blake pointed out, "but he's not the type to fool around with people's emotions. Honestly, I'm not sure _he's _aware of sex."

"Already knew... already knew... already knew..."

"**Blond bastard," Cardin growled. "Doesn't even try, but he's got half the school throwing themselves at him."**

"**Urgh! What does he have that we don't?!" Jaune lamented.**

"**Well, he's cool, smart, handsome, basically the second-coolest guy in school- after me, of course," Neptune speculated. **

"**Thanks, Neptune, love you, too," Jaune sighed heavily.**

"Y'know, it's been two whole minutes, and we haven't heard Cardin talking about faunus," Weiss noticed. "I don't suppose faunus exist in this universe?"

Crazy struggled to answer while pulling his soul- a large orb of pure light- away from Nala's claws at the same time. "Er... yes? No? Kinda? Listen, my cat's trying to force a pact with me, I really don't have time to exposit right now, just keep watching!"

Everyone glanced at each other, shrugged, and turned back to the screen.

**Neptune's watch beeped- his eyes flicked to it, and he stood up straight. "Oh- dudes, we gotta hurry, or we're gonna be late!"**

"**Oh- right!"**

**A quick transition later, and they were all peering through a small hole into a building- the girls' locker room. Or at least, Cardin and Neptune were- Jaune was standing off to the side, waiting for his turn.**

"**Any time you feel like letting me in," he commented, glancing at his own watch. "Aaaaaany time."**

A deep screech rose from Weiss's throat. "Surely, you can_not-_"

"Okay, but why, though?" Ruby wondered, still looking thoughtful.

Blake and Pyrrha pointedly looked away- she wasn't sure she _wanted _to know why.

Yang was scratching on a cat tree alongside Nacho.

Nora shrugged in her direction- Ren rolled his eyes, saying nothing.

"You... you are all... UUURRRGH!"

**The girls inside suddenly perked up. "What was that?!"**

"**Abandon ship!" Cardin called- he and Neptune both dashed off. Jaune, who had been struggling to force his way between them, fell to the ground.**

"**Urgh... so much for camaraderie," he groaned, just as a shadow fell over him.**

**The entire girls' track team, looking none too impressed with him.**

**Their leader raised a fist. She gave him a thumbs down.**

**The screen panned away as the sound of violence ensued.**

"Hmph- that's what one such as his de-" Weiss began, only for an earthquake to start.

"SMEG! IT'S SALLY!" Crazy cried, leaping to his feet.

"What do we do?" Pyrrha asked quickly.

"Er- you keep watching! I'll go out and hold it off!"

He rushed to the door, Nala right at his side. Nacho glanced over as they ran past, shrugged, and returned to scratching.

"Should we...?" Blake wondered.

"I suppose we should just... do as he says," Pyrrha shrugged.

**Jaune grumbled as he finally located Cardin and Neptune. "You two suck..." He was nursing a large lump on his head.**

"I agree that their actions were distasteful," Pyrrha put in, "but still, I cannot personally condone such wanton acts of violence."

"Eh, this is nothing," Ruby shrugged. "You should hear what Yang did to this one guy just for calling her 'sweetheart.'"

"Why, what did she do?"

Nobody noticed Yang freezing up. "Oh, she nearly ripped his thing off."

Yang felt her insides turn to ice as everyone turned to her, crossing their arms. "Yang..."

"...He was being a jerk?"

"Was he refusing to call you by your actual name?"

"No..."

"Did he even _know _your name?"

"No..."

"THEN WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU DOLT?!" Weiss screamed.

Yang glanced back at her partner, only to be greeted by very cold amber. "Yang... I'm disappointed in you."

She cringed away.

The front door opened, and Crazy came tearing back in. "Whew, that was weird- I'm already to go out in a blaze of glory, when it suddenly starts pulling- what happened while my back was turned?"

Everyone pointed to a very guilty-looking Yang.

Crazy glanced between them, before coming to a realization. "Junior?"

"Yeah..." Yang muttered.

Crazy clapped his hands together. "Okay, I have an idea- I'm sure plenty of smeg is gonna happen during your stay that not everyone will like. So, how about this? If someone does something really bad, we'll give them a quick punishment, then never talk about it again?"

Weiss looked at him ponderously. "And what exactly did you-" She faltered as Crazy reached behind him and donned a large hat, scraping against the remarkably tall ceiling, coming to the shape of a hammer head. "What... what is that?"

"The Hat of Discipline," Crazy stated, as though it should be obvious. "What, do you live in a cave?" He turned and smashed it into Yang, then carelessly tossed it behind him. "There. All is forgiven."

"Yang!" Ruby squeaked, leaping to her feet and hurrying to her sister's side.

She had somehow turned into pancake on the floor with Yang's face on it.

"Thanks... I think?"

"Okay," Crazy clapped his hands again as he returned to his seat. "Everyone siddown, we gotta get going if we're gonna finish this universe."

Ruby helped her sister up, and they all returned to their seats, some still struggling to come to terms with what the hell had just happened.

**Jaune was still very angry. "I wouldn't even mind as much, if I at least got to see... some..."**

**His voice trailed off, as he spied a wave of dark hair out of the corner of his eye. He looked up to see a young woman watching from a window, high above. Atop her pitch black hair was a matching bow, amber eyes gazing down, seeing him perfectly even from this distance. **

**Cardin and Neptune looked up, too, just in time to see her turning back into her room.**

"**Ooohh, boy," Cardin smirked. "Looks like Jauney-boy's falling for Blake Belladonna. Best forget it, bud- the Bellabooty's one of the finest on campus."**

"B-b-Bellabooty?" Blake repeated, caught off guard at last.

"What, you didn't know about that nickname?" Nora asked. "Everyone's got their own at Beacon."

"I... did not," Blake shook her head. Somehow, the term felt incredibly wrong coming out of Cardin's mouth- she felt very strongly she wouldn't have minded nearly as much if it were Jaune, or even Neptune.

"**I'm guessing there's a bit of crazy going on with her, too," Neptune threw in. "You don't get to be president of the Occult Research Club by being completely normal, y'know?"**

Yang laughed for the first time since Automata's end. "Occult research, huh? Somehow, that sounds right up our little kitty's alley."

"Shut it, Yang," Blake rolled her eyes.

**The camera cut to Blake, sitting across from a busty blond and moving some chess pieces across a board. "What do you know about that boy?"**

"**Boy? What boy?" Yang asked coyly. **

"**The kid in the middle," Blake clarified.**

"**Jaune Arc, if I'm not wrong," Yang recalled, making a move of her own. "Why the sudden interest?"**

"**Nothing," Blake shook her head. "Just... a question in passing."**

**Yang smirked. "Sure, Blake... suuuuuuure."**

"Glad to see we're still best buddies even in other universes, huh?" Yang asked.

**Blake rolled her eyes. "You know, Yang, if you bothered to actually focus instead of teasing all the time, you may actually win a game or two. Checkmate."**

**Yang pouted as she examined the board closely. Seeing that it was no bluff, she reluctantly knocked over her king.**

"Yes, indeed," Blake smirked. "Some things just never change."

Yang perfectly matched her screen counterpart's pout.

**Jaune stood on a bridge overlooking a freeway. "Man, the teenage years have to be the worst. At this rate, jerking off is the closest I'll ever get to an actual woman- I'll be a virgin forever and die alone!"**

"The thought occurs," Pyrrha piped up, "that... yes, he's clearly out for... sexual adventures, but deep down, he does seem concerned about the emotional side as well."

"_I _think it's just rose-colored glasses making you say that," Weiss huffed.

"Oh, Ice Queen, is someone jelly?" Yang smirked, ready to make up for lost teasing time. "Falling for him after the last universe, and starting to lay down your claim?"

"Shut up, you dunce, it's nothing like that!" Weiss shook her head fervently.

"I bet you wouldn't mind seeing a little more of that universe, though, would you?"

"Actually, I wouldn't- but not because of him!" Weiss amended quickly. "I find the story it is weaving to be very fascinating, is all!"

"Sure, Weiss," Yang smirked, onc emore matching her on-screen counterpart. "Suuuuuure."

"**Excuse me?"**

**Jaune looked up in surprise at the sound of another voice. "You're Jaune Arc, from Beacon High, right?"**

**Jaune quickly located the girl speaking to him- short and beautiful, with off-green hair perfectly matching her mocha skin. "Er... yeah, that's me, alright. I... I don't recognize **_**your **_**uniform, though... what school're **_**you **_**from?"**

"**Oh- Haven!" the girl answered quickly. She seemed to be squirming a little under his gaze- she seemed almost as nervous as he was. **

"**Oh, that's a ways- do you need help with something?"**

"**Oh, I... I just wanted to know if you... if you were seeing anyone?"**

"**Seeing anyone?" Jaune asked, taken aback. "Er, no, not right now, at least..."**

"**Oh, really?" the girl asked hopefully. "If that's the case... if you're single... would you like to go out with **_**me?**_**"**

Maybe Weiss wasn't jealous, but Pyrrha rather clearly was- it was fortunate she didn't have her semblance here, or everything metal in the house would be flying asunder. Everyone was so focused on her that they failed to notice Ruby tightly gripping the couch's arm.

"I don't trust her," Weiss commented, eyes narrowing.

"What was that about not being jelly?" Yang quickly got back to smirking.

"It's not like that!" Weiss insisted again. "I simply find it hard to believe that some girl he's never met before would approach him out of nowhere like that with entirely pure intentions!"

Her face continued to turn red with anger as Yang kept that aggravating, knowing grin on her face. "Oh, shove it, you!"

**Jaune was entirely taken aback. "Go... go **_**out **_**with you? Er... I... I..."**

"**I've been watching you for a while," the girl explained. "Trying to work up my courage. You... you seem so kind... and handsome... I just thought I'd... I'd... just... I'd like to be your girlfriend!"**

**Jaune's brain stopped. **

"Yes... _definitely _too good to be true," Pyrrha agreed with Weiss, glaring at the hus- _girl _who dared to ask out _her _leader.

"Oh, yeah," Ruby snarled, only calmed when Nacho came back around and settled in her lap. "Oh, how can I stay mad with you around?" she simpered, rubbing and scratching him behind the ears.

"**Wake up, baka! Get up, you dumbass! Er... I guess you could stay in bed, but then I'd have made this trip for nothing, and... no! Wake up, stupid!"**

**So ran the digitized girl on Jaune's alarm clock the next morning, until his roaming hand finally found the off switch. He looked up, groggy, but quickly perked up upon recalling the events of the previous day.**

"And what kind of alarm is _that?!" _Weiss huffed.

She blushed when she realized everyone was staring at her. "...What?"

**Cardin and Neptune blanched when they saw Jaune sauntering into school with the girl from yesterday hanging off his shoulder. "Hey, Cardin- Neptune. This is my new girlfriend, Emerald Sustrai. Em, these are my buds, Cardin Winchester and Neptune Vasilias."**

Pyrrha was snarling. _That's __my__ spot, bitch!_

Ruby wanted to get angry, but succumbed to the calming influence of the Nacho.

"**And here's the best part," Jaune added, sidling up to the boys and lowering his voice. "She. Asked. **_**Me.**_**"**

"Just sayin, Pyr, maybe you'd have some more success if you came out and told him, instead of just beating around the bush all the time," Yang volunteered.

Pyrrha growled, reaching out for the Hat of Discipline, but Crazy dove onto it. "No! Only _I _get to use the hat!"

"**We're going out next Sunday!" Emerald proudly proclaimed.**

**Jaune smirked. "Am I the man, or am I the **_**man? **_**I'm **_**totally **_**gonna see some lady parts."**

**Emerald giggled and guided him back towards the school. Cardin and Neptune looked destroyed. "Neptune... we've been betrayed."**

"**We suck, man... we **_**really **_**suck..."**

**Nearby was a short girl, managing to watch closely while keeping her distance, quietly munching on some blueberry frogurt. **

"Oh, so Weiss is here too!" Ruby smiled. "Well, if- I mean, _when- _that Emerald girl turns out to be no good, Weiss will be there to protect him, right?"

"Now that I think about it, I believe I've seen that girl around Beacon," Pyrrha recalled. "Do you... do you think she harbors such feelings for him in reality?"

"I've never seen them speak," Ren volunteered.

"Maybe we'd best keep them apart when we get back," Pyrrha decided. "For his own good, of course."

**A dark room appeared, within which Blake was playing chess again- this time, with Weiss. "Well, it happened- just as you predicted," Weiss noted, moving a knight and taking another bite of frogurt.**

"**In that case... I'm glad I asked you two to keep an eye on him," Blake decided, adjusting a rook. **

"**All well and good," Weiss nodded as she laid a trap with one of her pawns, "but what do you intend to do now?"**

**Blake did not fall for the trap, instead using a bishop to place Weiss in check. "The preparations are almost complete- after that, it's all on him."**

"Ugh, I _hate _it when shows are like this!" Yang grumbled. "Everyone being all ominous and vague- it's a load of shit!"

"What fun would it be if we just revealed everything right off the bat?" Crazy countered- only for a message to scrawl across the screen.

_Actually, I'm with Yang on this one, Mr. Goose Chase._

"Thank you for your input, Georgie!" Crazy rolled his eyes dramatically.

**The day of the date arrived, and Jaune was waiting on a sidewalk for Emerald to appear. "Hmm... she's running late..."**

"**Lady problems?" came a slightly accented voice, drawing his attention to a young woman with brown hair, smiling kindly at him. "Here, have a flyer."**

"**Er... thanks?" Jaune glanced at the flyer- it had no words, just a series of intricate symbols surrounding an ornate circular design. He glanced up at the girl, but she was already gone. "Huh... odd." He absentmindedly tucked the flyer in a coat pocket just in time for Emerald to appear. **

"**Sorry I'm late, Jauney," she apologized right off the bat. "Long story-"**

"**No problem, no problem!" Jaune shook his head quickly. "Better late than never, right?"**

**Their date took them all around the city- to the mall, where they took turns trying on outfits ranging from flashy to stylish to downright silly. They caught a movie at the theater, where Emerald was careful to brush hands with him before they headed out to a nearby café, where Jaune couldn't help but eye up her cleavage as she took some gulps from a milkshake.**

**She seemed to catch his face turning red. "You alright there?"**

"**Oh- yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be?!" Jaune quickly sat up straight and rushed to play innocent. **

Yang glanced between Pyrrha and Ruby in amusement. Ruby was beginning to cave, clutching at large tufts of Nacho's abundantly fluffy fur. He didn't really seem to notice.

**To wrap everything up, they headed to a fountain in the center of Vale Park to watch the sunset. "I had a lot of fun today," Emerald smiled. **

"**Yeah... best date ever," Jaune smiled, rubbing at the back of his head. Unbeknownst to Emerald, he was plotting on the best way to make a move.**

**Suddenly, Emerald dashed ahead to the fountain, turning back around to face him. "Jaune... can I ask you something?"**

"**Of- of course!"**

"**Well, seeing as this **_**is **_**our first date... I wanted to do something special for the occasion..."**

**Jaune's heart rate increased. **_**I'm gonna kiss her- I'm gonna kiss her!**_

"**Right- sure- I'm good with anything!"**

"**You would do anything for me?"**

"**Yeah!"**

"**Would you die for me?"**

**Jaune faltered. "You mean, like... theoretically? Like, slaying a dragon, or something?"**

"**No, I mean it," Emerald shook her head. Her smile suddenly seemed far less inviting- far crueler. "I want you to die for me."**

Pyrrha and Ruby's anger vanished, replaced with panic. "Run, Jaune!"

Another message from George. _Y'know, I think I've dated this brand of crazy..._

"Futaba, why are you helping _him?_" Crazy wailed. "I thought we had something special!"

**Emerald leapt in the air, her clothes tearing away. Even in this odd moment, Jaune was blown away by the brief second of breasts he was able to bear witness to. **_**My eyes have finally ascended to manhood, and- wait, are those **__**wings?**_

**A new set of clothes appeared on Emerald, appearing more like bondage gear than anything. From her back stretched a pair of black feathered wings.**

_**What is she, a demon?!**_

"Yeah, what _is _she?" Nora agreed. "An alien?!"

"Will you forget the aliens already!" Weiss snapped.

**Emerald laughed- not the cute giggle of earlier, but a cold, cruel chuckle. "I'll admit I had some fun today. And here I thought this job might actually be hard. You definitely acted the part of a gentleman, but..."**

**She produced a pair of knives.**

"**No- no, wait! Please!" Jaune begged. "I don't under-"**

**He was cut off as Emerald plunged one of her knives directly into his chest. Before he could react, she twisted it around and pulled it back out, causing blood to flow forth from the wound.**

"Yes," Weiss nodded. "I believe we should have a word with this Emerald once we return."

"Agreed," everyone else nodded, glaring at the girl on screen.

"**It's your own fault, you know," Emerald mused as she moved to the fountain, washing off her knife. "You were just too risky to leave alive. Don't blame me, blame the man who gave you the Sacred Gear."**

**Jaune fell to the ground and coughed up blood. He tried to talk, but nothing came out- perhaps his lungs had been pierced. **_**What... what is she talking about? **_

**Emerald's wings spread out. "Thanks again for the date," she smirked before taking flight. **

**Jaune stared up at her. For all the terrible things that had happened over the past... minute? For all of that, the only thought he could summon was, **_**What a bitch.**_

"Quite... succinct," Weiss nodded her agreement.

"I could think of a few better words," Yang snarled, smashing her fists together.

"Emerald and I are going to have to have a long... _talk,_" Pyrrha agreed.

Ruby really wished she had Crescent Rose right now.

Ren was the only thing keeping Nora from going on a rampage- and even that was reluctant.

Blake, however, recalled how this had all started. "So... we come full circle..."

_**So... this is how I die, huh? **_**Jaune pondered to himself. **_**Alone... pathetic... a virgin... I mean, if she was gonna kill me anyways, why not do it with me, first? At least don't let me die a freaking virgin... Even just a squeeze of those jugs? I only got to look at them for a second...**_

"I almost admire his dedication to perversion," Weiss sniffed condescendingly. "Even in death, he seeks greater heights of degeneracy."

**Jaune gazed around. **_**Night begins to close in on me... The blackest night. The color of her hair... **_

"I see," Weiss nodded. "Well, it seems we've answered our earlier questions- it was _not _Blake who nearly killed him."

"Right- but wait!" Ruby's eyes began to sparkle with hope. "Does that mean-"

_**The blackest hair I've ever seen- just like the darkness closing in around me. **_

_**It's over. Dammit... I can't even move... such a stupid way to die... **_

_**Looking back, I know I led a pretty shallow life... if only I could get another shot... try and be a better person...**_

_**And Blake... why can't I stop thinking about Blake? That dark hair... huge gazongas, and holy shit, that Bellabooty... I wish I could live long enough... to motorboat those funbags...**_

"Oh, for the love of-" Weiss started, only for Yang to silence her with a pillow to the face.

"To the dying man his dreams!" she grunted.

"Surprisingly profound," Blake commented, trying to fight down the blush naturally coming to her face upon hearing exactly what that dying wish was.

**A light appeared in Jaune's pocket, soaring out and taking form nearby- a circle identical to the one depicted on the slip of paper he'd received earlier that day. From it emerged none other than Blake Belladonna, hair flying in the wind, bow ripped away from her head to reveal a pair of velvety cat ears. **

"**I am here," she declared. "I assume you're the one who summoned me?"**

_**Blake? **_**Jaune wondered into the void. **

"**Death is coming for you," she stated. "But if you would avoid death... I can take you instead." From her back appeared a pair of bat-like wings.**

_**Bat wings? Cat ears? What's going on? Just some dying hallucination?**_

"I'm beginning to wonder myself," Ren commented.

"**From this moment forward, you will live your life for my sake," Blake continued. "Now... live..."**

**That was the last thing Jaune saw before darkness closed in.**

The screen went black as well.

...

"That can't be the end!" Ruby squealed. "It can't- he can't... die, can he?"

Crazy rose to his feet and smacked the tv a couple of times. "Okay, it's good- here we go!

**Jaune's alarm clock went off again, showing a less than stable girl wielding a knife. "Wake up, senpai- wake up before I take some more of your blood!"**

**The alarm went off rather quickly as Jaune rolled out of bed heavily. "Maybe I oughtta get a new clock- this one is giving me some weird dreams..."**

**He glanced around. "That... was a dream, right?"**

**He glanced down at his chest- there was no sign that it had been damaged at all. "Yeah... of course it was."**

"Something tells me it's not so simple," Blake imagined.

**The first sign that something was truly off was when he got to school, and neither Cardin or Neptune recalled Emerald. "Don't screw with me," he challenged them upon a staircase. "Neither of you remember her? Dark skin, off-green hair?"**

"**Not ringing any bells," Neptune shook his head. **

"**Sounds like you're taking your dreams too seriously, man," Cardin put in. "Let's face it- there's no way you got a girlfriend."**

"**Come on, stop jerking me around!" Jaune reached into his pocket for his scroll. "I've even got her number right... here..."**

**He faltered when he was unable to find her number anywhere. "The hell? Was... **_**was **_**it a dream?"**

"Man, this is starting to get weird," Yang rubbed her head.

**Before he could think on it too much longer, he looked up to find that he was being watched- by none other than Blake Belladonna, standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at him, bow back in place.**

"**Heh- Bellabooty at 12:00," Cardin snorted. **

"**Blake?" Jaune wondered aloud.**

**Blake descended the stairs- she shot him a glance as she passed by. Her eyes met his, and a small, mysterious smile formed on her face.**

**She did not break stride, though, and by the time Jaune took it in, she was gone.**

**Cardin kept an eye on dat Bellabooty. "Filing **_**that **_**image away for later... oh, that's it! Hey, Jauney-boy, tell you what- you come by my place tonight, we'll kick back and watch some of the good stuff I've got tucked away. It'll take your mind right off your imaginary girlfriend!"**

"Surely, they must think about _some _things other than sex," Weiss moaned, aghast.

"It varies, as with everything," Crazy shrugged. "I mean, I'm sure you could count the hours a year that _Ren _thinks about sex on one hand."

Nora nodded, looking relieved and sad, all at once.

"As for me, I'm usually too busy recording other universes to bother with the idea. I don't think Georgie thinks about it all that much, but I ain't gonna speak for him. Now _Stephen, _on the other hand... he'd fit right in with this version of Jaune, I think."

The rest of the group glanced between each other- who was _Stephen, _now? Ultimately deciding that it didn't matter- at least, not for the moment, they returned their attention to the screen.

**Cardin's new DVDs were definitely a thing of beauty, but Jaune found himself unable to appreciate it as fully as he normally would. As the other two cuddled up to the tv and raved over the quality, Jaune leaned back on the bed and pondered. **_**How could it have been a dream? It felt... it felt so **__**real**_**...**

**Something occurred to him. "Hey, guys, you gonna turn off the lights, or what?"**

**The others turned to stare at him. "Pardon?"**

"**The lights- don't we usually watch these with the lights out?"**

"**The lights **_**are **_**out, dude," Neptune glanced at him. "You feeling okay?"**

**Jaune stared at them, but slowly came to the realization that they were correct- somehow, he could tell that the lights were off, despite being able to see perfectly through the darkness it created. **

"So, what- he's turning into a faunus?" Ruby ventured.

"Pardon?" Blake asked, eyeing her oddly.

"Well, I mean, faunus have perfect night vision, right?"

"Certain faunus do, yes."

"So he's a faunus now?"

They turned to the screen and scrutinized him- he didn't seem to have spawned any faunus features, but the vision _was _an odd parallel...

**Jaune rose to his feet. "I... I think I'll head home. I don't know what it is, I'm just not feelin' it tonight."**

"**You okay, Jaune?" Cardin asked- he and Neptune both looked concerned.**

"**Yeah, I'm just feelin' tired... I think I'm turning in early."**

"Hmph... degenerates though they are, they at least care for their friends," Weiss struggled to give credit where credit was due.

**The sun had definitely gone down by the time he left, but nevertheless, he could see the streets as clearly as if the sun was still shining.**

_**What is going **_**on **_**with me? **_

**He found he could hear practically everything as well- that cat running down an alley? He heard every light footfall. The kid pestering her mother for candy from a store? He heard the conversation as clear as if he were standing right next to them, despite being a full block away.**

"Is _that _a faunus thing?" Nora asked shamelessly.

"Kinda," Blake tilted her head. "I mean, faunus tend to have better hearing, but not _that _good..."

_**What's going on? Why is this happening? **_

**He could see and hear everything- it was starting to overwhelm him. He found himself dashing, not towards home, but towards the fountain- where, as far as he could tell, this had all begun.**

**Even from the edge of the park, he could make out the sound of each individual drop striking the basin. It ushered forth memories of Emerald- the sweet, kind girl he'd dated- and Emerald- the cold, cruel girl who had stabbed him with full intent to kill.**

**It assured him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it had all been real.**

"**Well... how's **_**that **_**for unfortunate?"**

**Another voice from the darkness- Jaune spun to face it, and quickly found himself unable to move. **

**A man stepped out of the darkness, and without thinking, Jaune leapt back.**

**To his own befuddlement, he leapt high and far enough to clear the fountain, landing perfectly on the ground. **_**How?**_

"I think it's safe to say we're stepping beyond the bounds of faunus traits now," Weiss submitted. Blake nodded mutely.

**The man was tall and lanky- most of his bulk came from the white overcoat. A bowler hat sat atop his well-kept ginger hair, covering one of his made-up eyes. A cigar puffed smoke between his teeth as he casually swung a cane around his arm.**

"Torchwick!" Ruby squealed.

"I wondered if we'd be seeing _him _in any of these worlds," Blake spat.

"That's the man you've been pursuing?" Pyrrha asked.

"I'd recognize that guyliner anywhere," Yang nodded, glaring at the newest threat to Jaune's safety.

_**I meant to back up, not jump over the damn fountain! **_**Jaune fretted internally. **_**What is HAPPENING to me?**_

**He turned and began to sprint in the opposite direction. Feathers appeared in front of him, and he looked up to see the man soaring overhead, smirking down at him, finally touching dwon right in front.**

"**I applaud you for knowing when to fold 'em, kid," he smirked as he fiddled with his cigar. "Though, watching you run, you seemed far lower-class than I was told you'd be. Let's see... no friends around? No master? Well, if you have one, you're certainly not acting too loyal. You a stray, kid?"**

**Jaune fumbled as he turned and attempted to run again.**

"**I'll take that as a yes," the man shrugged. His cane transformed into a spear, which he threw with pinpoint accuracy- it pierced Jaune's back and came out of his front, sending him to the ground.**

_**No! Not again! Not even by a hot chick this time! This hurts even more than when Emerald... when Emerald...**_

**He reached down, attempting to remove the spear, but it burned to the touch. He quickly withdrew his hand.**

**The man chuckled. "I wouldn't fiddle around with that, if I were you. A weapon of light... toxic to the touch of your kind."**

"His... kind?" Ruby pondered.

"Oh- he's an-"

"I swear, Nora, if you bring up aliens again, the next person getting a spear to the chest will be _you!_" Weiss roared.

"...android?" Nora quickly changed course.

"...Nice save, Nora," Ren rolled his eyes. Sincere or not, it seemed to be enough for Nora, who leaned back in her seat happily.

"**Oh, not a finishing blow, hm?" the man pondered as he pulled the spear out himself, causing only more pain. "You're a tough one, aintcha? Well, don't worry about it- I'm about to put you out of your misery. Nothing personal, kid- it's all business."**

**Jaune turned and watched as the spear came down-**

**only to be blown away by some form of dark lightning.**

"**Hands off," came a very authoritative voice.**

"Whoohoo!" Ruby cheered. "Blake to the rescue!"

Blake couldn't help smiling.

**Jaune immediately recognized the curtain of dark hair. "B...Blake?"**

**He passed out on the ground.**

**Torchwick rolled his eyes. "This isn't any of your business, kid. Do I need to teach you a lesson?" He threw the spear towards her instead.**

**It was knocked out of the air as Weiss appeared, looking remarkably unimpressed.**

"Yeah! Represent Team RWBY!" Ruby whooped, waving around a pennant she'd dug from a crack in the sofa.

**Torchwick rolled his eyes. "How annoying..."**

**The spear reformed in his hand, and, throwing caution to the winds, he charged.**

**A giant explosion cut him off, and from its center stepped Yang. "Nice try, **_**kid,**_**" she scoffed, smashing her fists together.**

"Alright!" Yang grinned, matching her screen counterpart's actions. "No one messes with Xiao Long!"

"I mean, I'm happy for you," Nora pouted, "but what happened to JNPR?"

**Torchwick paused, looking them over carefully. "Ah... I see. The hair, the ears... you're a Belladonna, aren't you, kid?"**

"**Blake Belladonna," Blake bowed. "I can see you're a fallen angel- is there anything more to it?"**

**Torchwick scoffed as he brushed off his bowler hat and returned it to his head. "Lucky kid, getting caught up with the Belladonnas..."**

"**I don't know who sent you," Blake narrowed her eyes, "but it's time to decide who you fear more- them, or the might of the Belladonnas."**

**Torchwick bowed. "Oh, believe me, little girl, if I'd known that little tidbit up front, none of this would have happened to begin with. Try to reign in your servants, would ya? I had him figured for a rogue. Next time, it might not be a gentleman that decides to take a swing."**

"**I'll take it under advisement," Blake nodded. "Make sure nothing like this ever happens again... I will personally ensure you regret it."**

Yang let out a low whistle. "Still not entirely sure what's going on, but it sounds like the Belladonna name pulls a lot of weight in this world!"

Blake pointedly glanced out the window, not willing to admit how much weight the name carried even in their own world.

**Torchwick laughed. "Well, as long as we're trading information, the name's Roman Torchwick. I may not be a bigshot, but I'm not someone to be messed with, either. It would be best for us both if we didn't meet again."**

**His wings spread, and he was gone.**

"**Some luck this guy has," Weiss looked up from Jaune's fallen body. "One day, and he runs into a fallen angel. One day, and he's already on the verge of death."**

"**No," Blake shook her head. "He is not going to die. I won't let that happen."**

"How is she going to save him? Is she a medic?" Nora asked. "Oh, I bet she's got an entire-"

"Perhaps we should just watch, and find out," Ren interrupted.

**Jaune awoke the next morning to a maid persona on his clock. "Master, wake up, won't you? Please wake up, Master! Master, please wake up, won't you?"**

**He turned it off and sat up in his bed. "If I keep having dreams like this, I should probably go see a... doc... tor..."**

**He faltered when he realized that he was naked. "The hell? What happened to my... to my..."**

**His search for his clothes or pajamas led him to remove his blankets from the bed entirely, revealing the nude form of Blake Belladonna. "Gah!" He fell to the ground, taking the blankets with him, just as Blake began to stir.**

"This is _so _indecent!" Weiss shrieked.

"Ah, we're all girls here," Yang smirked. "I mean, except for Ren, but he's Ren. Oh, and Crazy-"

She looked over to find that Nala had once more secured herself on Crazy's face, glaring at the screen for daring to show Crazy something that might tempt him away from her. "Don't worry about me," he assured them. "I ain't seeing nothing."

"**No way, no way, no way!" Jaune freaked out. "This... this is **_**awesome!"**_

**Blake rubbed her eyes as she opened them up. "Oh... Jaune. Good morning." She yawned and stretched, paying no mind to the show she was putting on for the boy on the ground. **

**Jaune was torn between arousal and panic- what if she realized exactly what she was doing? "I- I can see your tits!"**

**Blake giggled quietly to herself. "Good morning to you, too."**

"She's behaving more like Nora right now than Blake," Pyrrha pondered.

"Does Nora... usually sleep naked?" Weiss asked hesitantly.

Ren rolled his eyes. "The last time I remember her wearing pajamas was during orientation- she borrowed some of mine."

Pyrrha blushed vibrantly. "She... has little shame."

"What's to be ashamed of?" Nora asked, tilting her head quizzically.

"Sometimes, the more I learn, the less I want to know," Weiss commented, burying her head into her hands.

"**Is this really happening?" Jaune asked wildly. "Or is this another dream- or am I actually living in a porno- or-"**

"**No, this is real," Blake interrupted softly. "As is everything else that has happened over the past couple of days. My name is Blake Belladonna, and I'm a demon. As of two days ago, I am your master- you're **_**mine. **_**Nice to meet you, Jaune Arc."**

Everyone stared as the screen cut to black. Crazy finally managed to get Nala off his face. "Hmmm... yup, that's the real end."

"That's it?" Weiss screeched. "All that perversion, and blood, and... and... what even _was _all that?!"

"A viewer's choice," Crazy shrugged. "Left to my own devices, I probably wouldn't have shown it to you myself. But I'm a slave to my readers."

_A poor excuse for a Phantom Thief, _George put in via screen message.

"Shut up, Georgie, you're not a Phantom Thief either!"

"So... what's next, then?" Ruby asked. "Are we... going back to that world again?"

"Maybe someday," Crazy shrugged. "But not for a while- I've got some other ideas for now. But first... I gotta go get Georgie back. Hold on!"

He dashed out the door, leaving a very uncomfortable silence in his wake.

_XXXX_

This honestly took longer than I was expecting- fan though I am of High School DXD, it wasn't something I'd really _planned _on covering here. I may have to adjust my plans for further reader's choice chapters- but don't worry, I don't plan on abolishing them altogether. We'll see how things go- the next one won't be for a while, either way.

As we progress, I believe it's time to start asking if you would like to see some new characters introduced into the viewing room! As before, this will be settled via poll- in the run-up to the next chapter, submit any characters you wish to see join the viewing room via review or PM. After the next chapter goes up, I'll post the poll in my profile and leave you lovely readers to vote on it. Should you wish for things to remain as they are- with RWBY and NPR- feel free to say that as well- I'll put that in the poll, and if it gets an overwhelming number of votes, I see no reason we can't keep it classic. Most any character is elligible- including Jaune himself. If anyone submits a character I don't want to include, I'll be sure to explain exactly why. As before, a well-reasoned argument as to why a character should be included will be worthy of an extra vote placed in their favor!

Here's a forecast of the next few episodes:

Episode VI: Xiao Long Automata Part II

Episode VII: A comedy of mistaken identity- let's just say that I think it'll really tie the fic together.

Episode VIII: The War Against Salem Part II

Episode IX: A new story from a not-so-new universe.

Just for an extra bit of fun, if anyone manages to guess what episodes VII or IX are ahead of time, I'll give 'em a shout-out. No extra votes, though- we don't wanna tip the scales _too _much. Until then, please R&R, everything under the sun welcome, everyone keep safe out there, Gamer4 out!


	7. Childe Ren to the Dark Tower Came

Gamer4 in. This one's gonna be different- I was walking along, minding my own business, when down from the heavens, a new idea for a story comes to me. I'm very much of two minds about it, especially considering all the stories I've got going already, but then I thought of a compromise- I can pitch it here! So, completely out of left field, something _nobody _saw coming, least of all me, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: This particular ditty goes to Stephen King. Great stories, very overlarge head.

Episode VI

Childe Ren to the Dark Tower Came

"Okay, I'll leave you to take that last one in," Crazy decided, straightening his coat as he stood up. "I gotta go convince Georgie to come back."

In a minute, he was out the door.

"You know, I'm surprised," Yang commented.

"About what?" Ruby asked.

"Surprised that Blake's got nothing to say about waking up next to Vomit Boy naked!"

Blake groaned. "I was _hoping _we could let it pass without comment..."

"You wouldn't do something that in _our _reality, would you?" Pyrrha asked sharply.

"No, of course not, I barely know him," Blake shook her head. "I mean, I barely _knew _him, I guess... kinda getting to know him better now."

"Are we, though?" Weiss pondered. "I mean, we're getting to know him in other worlds, but not really our own."

"I kinda wish Jauney could be here with us," Nora muttered. "I know most of the stories are about him, but we didn't kick Yang out when we had a story about _her!"_

"I imagine there may be some rules regarding that," Ren speculated.

"Well, those rules are stupid!" Nora huffed. "I wanna see _Jauuuune!"_

"I feel that _would _be a better bonding exercise," Pyrrha submitted.

"Maybe we can talk to the guys about that when they get back?" Ruby suggested.

They glanced at Weiss- the most likely to object. She crossed her arms and huffed. "Well, I suppose if _you _all want him here..."

"Way to play it off, Ice Tsundere," Yang smirked, ruffling her hair.

"Yang- st- Stop it, you brute!"

XXXX

It wasn't too much later that the door opened and their hosts stepped back in, Crazy looking excited, George looking very much as though he'd been dragged in against his will. "This better be worth it, Crazy..."

"Always!" Crazy chirped. "Okay, everyone!" He produced his scroll, playing a tune from Doki Doki Literature Club. "New plan! I _was _going to take us back to the Automata world-"

"Automata?" George asked, eyes narrowing. "_Automata? _What happened to Fire Emblem?"

"I said we'd get to Fire Emblem eventually!" Crazy pointed out evasively, suddenly looking nervous. "I didn't say it would be right this minute!"

George crossed his arms and glared. "...Betrayal."

"Oh, no," Crazy whimpered.

"_Betrayal."_

"Um, guys?" Nora asked, raising an eyebrow. "What's going-"

"BETRAYAAAAL! BETRAYAAAAAAAL!"

George went ballistic, leaping towards Crazy, who leapt desperately out of the way, allowing George to dive into the room behind him instead. He quickly slammed the door and locked it, pulling away just in time to avoid a knife plunging through the wood.

"Um... is he okay?" Blake asked.

"I thought he was your Renny!" Nora gaped.

"He is, basically," Crazy nodded as he crossed the room to his chair, "but that doesn't mean he doesn't ever have any... outbursts."

"Yeah, that's kinda _exactly _what it means!" Nora flapped her arms. "I'm the goofball, he's the straight man! If he has an outburst, it throws off the whole dynamic!"

"But I..." Crazy stammered. "I mean... that is to say that... you know what, forget it. We got a new universe to show. And you know what? You want a Ren, I'll give you a Ren. This world stars Ren!"

"I did not agree to this!" Ren objected.

Nora's eyes shone with excitement. "But Reeeeen! If it's you, it's gotta be _awesome!_"

"I _am _curious to see a story featuring you," Blake nodded with a finger on her chin.

"Perhaps we can finally get to know more about you," Pyrrha suggested.

"Yeah- what exactly makes Lie Ren tick!" Yang beamed.

Surrounded on all sides, Ren gave in. "Alright, have it your way. Put it on."

Crazy smirked as he put the next world in the player.

XXXX

_**Childe Ren to the Dark Tower Came**_

Weiss immediately raised a finger. "I have several questions."

"You misspelt 'Child!'" Ruby giggled. "Even _I _know that!"

"Not about that," Weiss shook her head wearily. "Childe, with an E, is an old-fashioned word used to denote a youth of noble birth."

"Ohhhhh..." Ruby nodded with understanding. "So, Weiss... _you're_ a childe?"

Weiss pursed her lips. "I... suppose that's somewhat... accurate."

Ruby giggled. "Weiss admitted it! She's a child!"

Weiss groaned and clammed up behind Trico. Whatever other questions she had, they never found out.

**The screen was filled with darkness, until a phrase wrote itself across in white. **

_**The Woman in Red fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed.**_

**The screen lit up to show a vast desert beneath a blinding white sky. For a moment, they thought they were seeing it from a vast, birds-eye view, until a foot appeared and took up the whole screen. The camera pulled out to reveal a woman with dark hair and a red dress sprinting across the flat, dead ground, moving so quickly she almost seemed to fly.**

"Heeeey, that's that Cinder woman!" Yang pointed out.

Recalling her previous appearance, Pyrrha immediately went on the defensive. "I wonder what nefarious thing she's up to in _this _world?"

"Hey, c'mon, just cause she's evil in one world doesn't mean she's evil in _all _of them!" Nora pointed out.

**The camera panned across entire leagues of dry sand to reveal the 'Gunslinger'-  
Lie Ren, moving with purpose and diligence, his eyes fixed on the desert ahead, hardly even blinking against the harsh, reflected sun.**

"Never mind," Nora shrugged. "If Ren's after her, she's gotta be evil."

"Well, we don't know _why _I might be after her yet," Ren pointed out.

"True," Weiss agreed, "but something about the look on his- er, _your _face tells me he's not exactly trying to invite her to a ball."

Ruby sniggered quietly. "Hehe... 'ball...'"

**Mile by mile, one step after the other, the Gunslinger continued his unwavering stride in pursuit of the Woman in Red. When he'd passed through the town at the desert's edge, she'd been a month or so ahead of him- closer than he'd been in years. At long last, she was within his grasp, and he didn't plan on letting her escape again.**

"It definitely sounds like he bears some sort of grudge," Blake decided. "To be on her trail for that long, and follow her into a desert like this without a second thought..."

**Ever since the Battle of Jericho Hill, of which they'd been the only two survivors... ever since the Fall of Kuroyuri...**

Nora's breath caught, and she looked to Ren, whose face had suddenly turned stony.

"Er... Ren?" Pyrrha asked, surprised.

"Nora?" Yang put in, unused to seeing her partner in crime so panicked.

"...It's not something he likes to talk about," Nora practically whispered, putting an arm around him and holding him close. She glanced up at Crazy. "Did you know about this?"

"That that name would come up? No," Crazy shook his head apologetically.

"Why? What's Kuroyuri?" Ruby asked.

Crazy looked uncomfortable. "...Not my place to talk about the real Kuroyuri, but in the context of this world, it was a grand kingdom, greater than any of the four kingdoms of your world. A Gunslinger is kinda like a hunter- or a knight. Yeah, a knight with guns, sworn to serve their kingdom above all else. Like the narration said, Ren's the last."

The group seemed significantly less comfortable as they watched from there.

**Some might have pitied Ren, but he had no time for such things. He had his own goals to pursue, and sitting around crying for himself was not one of them. And currently, his goals lay contingent on how quickly he could catch up to and subdue the woman ahead of him- the Woman in Red.**

"What makes her so important?" Nora asked, almost sounding jealous. "I thought he was out for revenge, but if he's just trying to 'subdue' her..."

Yang would normally be tempted to make some sort of innuendo, but sensed that this was not the best situation to do so.

**Ren did not stop. From sunup to sundown, he continued his trek across the vast nothingness of the desert. The only remnants he found of the Woman in Red- the only signs he was on the right track- were the occasional firepits that she'd left behind. That was it. No droppings, no left-behind food, no stray drops of water- though such things would no doubt have baked away under the sun anyways- only the ghosts of fires that might be anywhere from a few weeks to a few months old. **

**Time was a funny thing in the desert. Days seemed to fluctuate- they might be a few hours, or dozens- it all seemed to blend together. Had it been a week since he'd passed through that town, a town he'd left as dead as the desert he was now crossing?**

"A dead... town?" Ruby asked nervously. "I... I don't like the sound of that..."

"Neither do I," Yang agreed, pursing her lips.

**It may have been a week- a month- for all he knew, several years had passed. All he had out here was himself, his pipe, a few remaining water skins (all empty), and his guns. His father's guns- the only thing he had left from Kuroyuri.**

"G... guns?" Ruby's mood seemed to be lifted a bit.

**The finest guns in the land, forged- so they said- from the blade of the great hero Oum who was Ren's ancestor. His crest was carved into each handle as they swung at his hips, ready to be produced and fired at a moment's notice. He was running short on ammo, especially after his escapades in that town, but it hardly mattered. He never missed.**

"I'm really starting to wonder what happened in that town," Pyrrha whispered. "But at the same time... I'm not sure I want to know."

Ren remained silent, drumming his fingers on the arm of the couch.

**Ren paused now, for only a moment- he produced one of his skins and attempted to drink. He didn't necessarily **_**want **_**to- his pride told him he could make it another few miles before taking another drink- but he knew, deep down, that he really **_**should. **_**Pride be damned- pride was what had brought Kuroyuri tumbling to the ground, overrun now by grimm.**

"So grimm exist in this world, too?" Weiss noted distastefully.

"I think this is the first world we've seen where they do," Blake commented. "I'd have been fine if they stayed out, personally..."

Ren's hands had clutched into fists- Nora reacted by gently rubbing circles in his back. "Yeah, you need to drink," she agreed. "I mean if _I _were there- hey, now that I think of it, where _am _I?"

"...Secret?" Crazy smiled sheepishly beneath her menacing glare.

**He'd also had a horn, but he'd lost it, somewhere. He couldn't quite remember where. He thought he had a vague memory of placing it upon Sun's grave, or Neptune's, or- perhaps most likely of all- Nora's, but-**

"Whoa!" Nora interrupted. "Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa! I'm _dead?! _Whaddya _mean, _I'm _dead!"_

This, at last, was enough to shake Ren from his silence. "How did this happen, Hand?"

Crazy gulped. "Re-remember, I don't make these things happen, I just-"

"Report on them, yeah, we know," Yang finished off, cracking her knuckles nonetheless. "But what _happened?"_

"You'll-"

"Say 'we'll find out,' and I'm breaking your legs!" Nora shouted.

Crazy cowered behind Nacho, who finally brought some level of peace back with a tilted head and a politely confused squeak.

Ren took a deep breath. "I suppose we _will _find out. Remember... it's another world. Nothing that happens here is bound to happen to us."

They nodded, and returned their attention to the screen.

**No, the skin was empty. He supposed that rendered the argument moot. He hadn't refilled water since the town- whenever that had been. Which begged the question... when was he going to be able to drink again?**

**Up ahead, he saw a building. Sitting in front of it, a figure in red. He couldn't make out the figure's size or stature, but the red was undeniable. He began to pick up the pace, stumbling over himself until he finally collapsed in the sand. As he looked up, he made out a head of dark hair looking over him. The Woman in Red? If so, he likely wouldn't wake up, but nevertheless, he couldn't stop himself from slipping... into... unconsciousness...**

"Probably a mirage," Weiss commented, ever the bastion of optimism.

"Such a thing would mean death," Ren shook his head. "I doubt they intend to kill me this early on.

**Ren had no concept of time- there was no way of knowing how many hours passed between passing out and awakening to see the building's roof over his head.**

"I was merely being realistic!" Weiss defended herself.

"Doesn't hurt to look on the bright side every now and again!" Ruby pouted. "Plan for the worst, hope for the best, and all that?"

"You keep hoping for the best, I'll keep planning for the worst," Weiss decided.

**Slowly, he raised his head and looked around. His face felt oddly cool- a touch revealed that it had been coated in water. He could feel it on his forehead, his cheeks, his lips. That was good... if whoever had done this felt comfortable doing so, there was likely a water source nearby- exactly what he needed.**

**Of course, this begged the question, who **_**had **_**done it? Who had taken him in from outside and nursed him back to life?**

**Not the Woman in Red, surely...**

"I doubt it," Nora narrowed her eyes. "She'd never do something that nice."

**He scanned the room, and finally located his mysterious savior, watching him from a safe distance.**

**Her hair **_**was **_**dark- darker even than the woman he sought. She was also shorter, in stature and hair length. She wore a red cloak, true, but everything else upon her was black, perhaps explaining why she was taking refuge in this building in the first place.**

"Ruby?" Yang asked, flabbergasted. "The hell is _she _doing out there?"

"Yeah, I really don't like getting hot," Ruby concurred.

"But you saved Renny!" Nora brightened. "Whatever you turn out to be like, at least we know you're a good guy!"

Ruby gave an awkward smile at the praise.

**Ren kept his gaze on her, uncertain of whether to trust her. His hands hovered over his guns... and the fact that he was able to brought him comfort. If this girl was truly hostile, surely she'd have taken his guns and finished him off, rather than lay him down and do what she could to nurse him back to health.**

"Sound logic," Ren nodded.

"We would have a problem if you actually killed her," Yang noted, her knuckles cracking again.

"But he didn't!" Nora was quick to point out.

"**...You're awake," the girl smiled. **

"**How long was I out?" Ren asked, his voice croaky and dry with disuse- there were few conversation partners in the desert, aside from that cow skeleton that proudly proclaimed it would make a good signpost. **

**Needless to say, he'd brushed that incident aside as a hallucination.**

Yang snorted. "Didn't expect to get some laughs out of this one."

"I enjoy bringing some humor to the table even in more serious worlds," Crazy agreed.

"**Hard telling," the girl shook her head. "Time... it's weird out here. I don't even know how long **_**I've **_**been here. All I can say is that the sun hasn't set."**

**Ren glanced out the window- indeed, the sun only seemed in the process of setting at this moment.**

**Questions reeled through his mind, each demanding that he ask them first. Finally, he decided on arguably the most immediately important- "Water?"**

**The girl nodded, producing his water skins with a beaming smile. "Filled 'em up while you were out! Figured you could use 'em, considering... y'know..."**

**He motioned for her to hand one over- she tossed it from her position. **_**Hmm... smart girl, not trusting me right away. **_**He popped open the skin and began to drink.**

"Smarter than our Ruby, I would say," Weiss humphed.

"Hey!" Ruby yelped indignantly. "I'm not stupid!"

"No, you're more... horrendously naive," Weiss agreed.

Ruby groaned and pouted.

**Ren drank the skin dry, then turned to the girl. "What's your name?"**

"**Ruby," Ruby answered quickly. "Ruby Rose."**

**Ren nodded as he lowered the skin and pulled himself into a sitting position. "And from where do you hail, Ruby Rose?"**

**Ruby opened her mouth, but her voice caught on her tongue. "Er... I... I don't know."**

**Ren's brow quirked. "You don't know?"**

"She doesn't know?" Pyrrha asked with concern.

"She _did _say she doesn't even remember how long she's been there," Blake noted, crossing her arms and biting her lip. "Perhaps time isn't the only thing that's getting away from her."

"C'mon, other me, remember!" Ruby pleaded. "I wanna know what _I'm _like in other worlds!"

**Ruby looked down, as though Ren had scolded her. "I... I remembered when I got here, but over time... things just... got away from me. I only remember a few details... I think I lived in a kingdom called Vale... there were tall buildings... and... I think my mom... my mom had blond hair?"**

Ruby and Yang were speechless, glancing between each other. Any woman that Ruby might potentially refer to as 'mother' would have black hair, unless Ruby was actually remembering...

**Ren fixed her with a curious gaze. "And how'd you get all the way out here, Ruby Rose of Vale?"**

**Ruby clammed up a bit. "Er... I'm pretty sure... it was the lady. The lady in the red dress."**

"Cinder again?!" Yang hissed. "Cinder took my sister away from me?!"

"It's hard to say," Pyrrha noted. "We don't really know _what _happened."

**Ren's guard went up. "Red dress?"**

"**She... she scares me," Ruby whispered. "I think she brought me here, then she just... disappeared. I don't know where to, but... I saw her again, passing by. She went that way." She pointed towards the far end of the desert- towards the mountains.**

"**How long ago?" Ren demanded.**

**Ruby jumped, caught off guard. "Er... I... I don't know?"**

"**Try your best to remember- **_**how long?"**_

"Eep!" Ruby looked just as caught off-guard as her on-screen counterpart- Ren did _not _usually get this emotional.

"My apologies, Ruby," Ren spoke for his other self. "I'm sure he's hardly in the best state of mind after his time in the desert."

"Yeah, it ain't his fault!" Nora quickly leapt to his defense. "Let's see anya _you _do better after who-knows-how-long without water!"

**Ruby drummed her fingers on the ground, struggling to remember. "Er... I've pooped three times since then, so... about a week? A little more, a little less? Sorry, that's the only thing I have to keep track of time!"**

The statement was so pathetic that nobody laughed. Yang in particular looked furious at the idea of her sister being thrust into such a situation. "When I get my hands on that Cinder bitch..."

**Ren's eyes widened. A week? He **_**had **_**been catching up- compared to where he'd been when he'd begun, he was practically on her doorstep!**

**Slowly, he rose to his feet. Ruby panicked slightly. "You're not gonna leave me, are you?!"**

Most of the audience's hearts broke upon hearing the cry- Yang's in particular, remembering all the people who'd left _her _over her life.

**Ren glanced down at her. "Not tonight," he assured her. "I'm staying the night here. When I move on, you're welcome to come with me- I'm certain I can make room for two."**

**Ruby's eyes lit up. "Promise?"**

**Almost against his own will, a smile graced Ren's face. "Promise."**

"**Cross your heart, hope to die, stick a thousand needles in your eye?"**

**She stuck out her pinky, and Ren found his head tilting slightly. He sat down next to her and took her pinky with his. "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eye."**

**Ruby practically collapsed back onto the ground with relief.**

"Oh, _Renny, _you're so sweet!" Nora gushed.

"I'm glad to see you wouldn't leave a child in the desert on her own," Weiss nodded contently.

Ren allowed them a smile and a nod against Ruby, who looked rather touched herself.

**Ren smiled back at her, and produced his gun.**

"**Oooh, are you going hunting?" Ruby asked brightly.**

"**Nothing to hunt out here, I'm afraid," Ren shook his head, removing a shell. "No, I intend to hypnotize you."**

Yang's brain screeched to a halt. "Hold up, _what?!_"

Weiss huffed. "Yang, please, it's nothing like-"

"The _hell _are you doing to my sister, Ren!?"

"Nothing unsavory, I assure you," Ren defended himself, unflappable as ever. "The hypnotism you're likely thinking of is not what my other self intends."

"Then what _does _he 'intend?!'"

"Why don't you sit down and find out?" Blake suggested, raising her voice.

Yang crossed her arms and returned to her seat with a huff. She raised a pair of fingers to her eyes and moved them back towards Ren in the universal 'I'm watching you' gesture.

"**Hypnotize me?" Ruby asked, tilting her head. "You mean, control me?"**

"**Nothing of the sort," Ren denied, gripping the shell in his hand. "I intend to unearth your lost memories, using a technique I learned from **_**my **_**kingdom. Don't worry, I can't- and wouldn't- force you to do anything you didn't wish to do."**

**Ruby nodded slowly. "I... I guess that's okay..."**

**Ren nodded, laying her head down and holding his hand over her. He began to play with the shell, rolling it between his fingers with deft precision. Ruby smiled brightly at the trick, but slowly, her eyes were taken over by a dull sleepiness. "Just keep your eyes on the bullet," Ren whispered.**

**Ruby nodded as her eyes began to droop.**

"That's a neat trick!" Ruby smiled. "Can you do it in real life, Ren?"

"I'm afraid I cannot," Ren denied. "My other self seems to have many years of experience over me."

**Ren leaned closer, and began to whisper. "Ruby... can you hear me?"**

"**I hear you," Ruby agreed in a dreamy voice.**

"**I want you to tell me where you came from, and how you got here, okay?"**

"**Right... how I got here..."**

**The screen faded away and returned, showing a sprawling city.**

"Hey, it's Vale!" Nora pointed out brightly.

"Odd," Ren noted. "We've seen nothing of this since the world began."

"Yeah, but we've really just been watching you cross a desert," Ruby pointed out. "Maybe this is just a different part of the world?"

Crazy cleared his throat. "Okay, I've been trying to keep quiet this whole time- reviewers can't seem to decide whether they like Georgie and me or not, but I just _need _to explain this if the rest of this world is gonna make any sense."

"I _was _wondering why we were suddenly able to shut you up," Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Hey!"

"Be nice, Weiss," Pyrrha chided gently. "Go on, Crazy- what's going on here?"

"Well, remember that whole 'multiverse-thing' we were talking about when you first got here?"

"Yes..."

"Well, this story actually takes place across multiple worlds- the one that Ruby's from is remarkably similar to your own- except there are no grimm or semblances. Ren's world is entirely different- his world has already gone through the apocalypse- or, as the people say, it's 'moved on.' His world is different in a lot of ways, but for now, let's just say that the world you know, and that Ruby's describing to him, is completely alien."

"I... get it?" Ruby asked.

Weiss huffed again. "Your world is like ours, Ren's world is a fantasy that's already ended."

"I... kinda understand?"

"If you still don't get it, I can go ahead and explain-"

"Hush, you," Weiss interrupted, picking up a spray bottle and squirting it Crazy a couple times. He hissed and ran into the room he'd locked Georgie in- they heard further screams from behind the door.

"That wasn't very nice, Weiss," Ruby crossed her arms.

"Whatever, let's get back to the show."

"**I lived in a big city... buildings tall enough to scrape the sky. People moved around in big metal boxes...**

"**I lived with my Dad- my Mom died a few years after I was born. Him and my sister, Yang... she was like a mother to me after my actual mom died."**

Yang placed a gentle arm on Ruby, who wrapped her arm around her sister in turn.

"**She's only two years older than me, but if you didn't know us, you'd think we **_**were **_**mother and daughter. Every day, I went to a place called 'school.' I had to learn things that would help me when I grew up."**

**Ruby appeared from the door of a house at the edge of the woods- Yang walking alongside her.**

"**Sorry I can't drive you today, Rubes," Yang ruffled her sister's hair. "I've got swimming practice downtown."**

"**It's okay, I understand," Ruby smiled. "What'd ya give me for lunch?"**

"**PB&J, no crusts, capri sun, some pretzels, and three cookies," Yang grinned.**

**Ruby beamed, hugging her tightly around the torso. "Thanks- you're the best!"**

"**Darn right I am," Yang laughed, hugging her back before clambering onto her motorcycle. "Tell the busdriver I said hi!"**

**With that, she was off, and Ruby was on her way down the road to the bus stop.**

"Everything seems so... normal," Ruby muttered wistfully.

Pyrrha crossed her arms and held her tongue- she had a bad feeling that things were about to go terribly wrong.

**Ruby had been waiting at the bus stop, lunch held in front of her for about five minutes when she felt a solid push from behind. **

**The world entered into slow motion- she saw the truck tearing down the road- a large, semi-trailer rig with eighteen wheels. **

**Her body turned as she struggled to keep out of the way of the road, but only succeeded in catching a flash of her attacker as she plummeted to the pavement.**

**Amber eyes.**

**Long, dark hair.**

**A wicked grin.**

**Crimson dress.**

**She hit the pavement.**

**Minor scrapes that she didn't even notice before the truck hit her.**

**The driver tried to stop, but the pusher had been precise- there was simply no time. **

**One by one, each of the nine pairs of wheels crossed over her, crushing her a little further into the pavement each time.**

**Her stomach was flattened into her lunch, her organs pressing into each other.**

The Ruby on the couch looked on the verge of losing _her _lunch. "I... I don't like this..."

Yang's fists were clenching and unclenching. "That bitch... _that bitch!" _The look on her face made it clear that no circle of hell would be too deep when she got her hands on Cinder.

Pyrrha looked rather green herself. Nora was on her feet, screaming obscenities- Ren was so shocked that he didn't find it in himself to stop her.

Blake and Weiss were both slack-jawed- Weiss in particular winced with each tire. _No... no, not her... not like this... never like this!_

**The truck did, eventually, stop- almost two blocks after the last wheel made its mark. The driver, a large, burly man with grey, thinning hair, leapt out, looking panicked- he already had his scroll out as he screamed for an ambulance.**

**Cinder was already gone.**

**For that matter, so was Ruby.**

"Sick... that's so sick," Pyrrha's voice quavered as she held her hands over her mouth.

"Why?" Ruby trembled. "Why would she do that? What did I do to her to make her-"

"It wasn't you," Ren spoke up. "I think I have an idea why she did it- I don't want to say, in case I'm wrong. I _hope _I'm wrong... but it had nothing to do with you."

"Some people really are just pure evil," Weiss hissed- for once, Blake did not argue.

**Ren watched as Ruby concluded her tale. It seemed so fantastic- the city she described, the people in their metal boxes, buildings tall enough to scrape the heavens... but she wasn't lying. In this state, she **_**couldn't **_**lie. **

**If that weren't enough, according to her account, by all rights, she should be dead... yet here she was, completely uninjured- aside from the natural consequences of living in a desert waystation for... however long she'd been here. According to her rather explicit description, there should be hardly anything left for that sister of hers to bury, yet... here she was.**

"So... somehow..." Nora puzzled over the information she'd just been given, "when bitch-lady killed Ruby in her world... she woke up in Renny's?"

Crazy fought his way to the door of the room, screaming out, "It'll make more sense later!" before being forcibly pulled back into the room, screams of "BETRAYAL!" echoing during the door's brief moment of openness.

**Ren leaned down and whispered into her ear. "Ruby... everything you just told me... do you want to remember it?"**

"**Well... I'm remembering the taste of my intestines in my mouth, so... no. I'd rather not."**

**Ren nodded in understanding. He glanced out the door- the sun was well below the horizon by now. "Okay, here's what's going to happen- you're going to sleep. You're going to drift into a dreamless sleep, and not wake up until the sun rises. When you wake up, you won't remember anything that you've told me. Sound good?"**

"**Yeah... sounds like a plan..."**

"**Then sleep."**

**Ruby's breaths became slow and steady. Gently, Ren removed her head from his lap, and began setting up a bed of his own.**

"That's awfully considerate of him," Pyrrha noted.

"On one hand, I'd say that she should keep the memories- nothing good can come of repressing them," Weiss whispered. "On the other hand..."

"You wouldn't want any similar memories?" Blake guessed.

"...Right."

"...I agree."

**Ren glanced over at his new charge one last time. The sense renewed in him- the sense that this was another trap left by the Woman in Red. Ruby wouldn't kill him- no, he was certain of that. Just like in the town at the edge of the desert, the Woman in Red had set up a far crueler trick- Ruby was going to make him love her. He could already feel it happening- a surge of protectiveness over the gently sleeping child.**

"That better be _fatherly _love, mister!" Yang snarled.

"I'm certain it is," Ren nodded, unperturbed.

Ruby remained silent- it was odd, seeing herself through the eyes of another like this.

**It was of that town that Ren couldn't help but think as he laid himself to sleep. Perhaps he'd tell the child when he awoke- it was something she ought to know, before traveling with him. A story for a story.**

**Memories of the town pursued him into slumber. The priestess... the man on the piano... the man who should be dead, but wasn't... and the women he had made love to- love without love, for he had never truly loved since the passing of his dear Nora...**

The screen faded to black.

"Wait, that's _it?_" Nora asked furiously. "Come _on, _can't we get _some _closure around here?!"

"Didn't Crazy say he was planning on revisiting worlds soon?" Pyrrha recalled.

"That's the- no, no, Georgie, no- I'm SORRRYYYyyyyyyyy..."

They glanced between one another, shrugging.

"Well, I guess we might see that world again some-"

Across from the tv was a kitchen- on the other end of the kitchen was a sliding glass door.

It slid open, revealing somebody standing on the other side, stepping in, looking around in confusion.

"Um, guys? Where have you been, you missed Port's- what? This isn't the dorm-"

"JAUNE!" everyone called, immediately piling on top of the hapless, endlessly confused blond.

_XXXX_

Yup, time to bring in the man himself. To understand why, see AuraPhoenix1500's rather compelling summation of why he should. S/he (unsure) also made a pretty good guess as to the identity of one of the future chapters, and while s/he was wrong at the time, I have since revised my lineup, rendering him/her correct! Lots can change when you don't have much else to do but think about stories near 24/7...

So, about this new universe- I obviously wrote it out much differently here than how I'd write it in a story on its own, leading me to ask- is anybody interested in its continuation? Go ahead and let me know- would you prefer that this world get its own story, continue here, or be left aside altogether? Whenever I'm on the fence, I tend to turn to my audience, so... that's what I'm doing now.

And, of course, should you have anything else to say- anything at all- please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, Gamer4 out!


	8. Mean Lean Mother from Outer Space

Gamer4 in. Y I do dis? I no know y I do dis. I guess I really just like the idea of random quickies to get a quick scene out of my head so I can focus on main chapters. Anyone who reads Mario Mario will be decently familiar with the concept- if not, you will be soon. It's not that complicated. Let's get right to it.

Disclaimer: Stephen King's It belongs to Richard Bachman. Little Shop of Horrors belongs to Warner Bros., as far as I know or can tell.

Random Quickie

Mean Lean Mother from Outer Space

"So, let me get this straight," Jaune recapped, plopping himself down on the sofa as the others attempted to explain the current circumstances. "The multiverse exists-"

"Toldja!" Nora chirped brightly.

"-and we've been abducted by one, the other, or both of these crazy guys-"

"Crazy and George," Weiss rolled her eyes heavily. "They say they have real names, but..."

"And they can't send us back home until some sort of story's been told-"

"That would seem to be the case, yes," Blake nodded.

"-so they decided to show off other worlds starring me?" He blushed heavily.

"It's not _so _bad," Ruby assured him- she could sense his discomfort. He must be longing for some normal knees right now. "I mean, we had a world starring Yang, and we just got through one starring Ren."

Jaune gulped. "And... the ones starring me...?"

"You've been a psychic, an author, an android, and..." Pyrrha hesitated as she recalled the world of demons.

"A pervert," Weiss rolled her eyes even more heavily.

"...Yes," Pyrrha conceded, though she hadn't intended to be so blunt over the matter.

"Sounds like anything's fair game," Jaune pondered.

"It would certainly seem so," Ren agreed.

"So you're saying you'd _never _peep on us in the shower, Jauney?" Yang gasped, hand to her chest. "I'm hurt- am I not _good _enough for you?!"

"Beebuhbluh?!" Jaune sputtered, pulling away.

It was Ruby's turn to roll her eyes- she'd learned some tricks from her partner over the years. "Leave him alone, Yang- he just got here, let him set-"

The front door was kicked open, and a new man walked in, a bright mischievous smile upon his face. He was at least a foot shorter than their other hosts, but somehow put them far more ill at ease. His skin was far more tanned than Crazy's pasty complexion, his hair far more cared for, his face clean-shaven.

"Well, well, well, so he _wasn't _joking!" the new arrival smirked as he made his way into the living room.

"Excuse me, but who might you be?" Weiss more demanded than asked.

"A friend of Crazy's- call me Waterboy," the man introduced with no special flourish. "He let me know what was going on, so I thought I'd break into his house while he's looking the other way and show you a universe behind his back!"

He bounced to the screen and shoved a disc into the player.

Before anyone could say anything, the world had begun playing.

**The screen opened up on a cave somewhere, clearly deep below the ground. In the center stood the woman they'd not seen before- short, with long hair- strawberry pink on one side, chocolate brown on the other. Her eyes were similarly mismatched as she crouched on a rock, staring at a door at the cavern's edge.**

"Hey, I know that girl!" Yang growled. "She's the one that pummeled me on the train!"

"You're sure?" Ruby asked, surprised- Yang had related the tale of her beating, but no details.

"I could never forget."

"A truly intimidating foe," Weiss smirked. "I can see why you had so much trouble."

"You're one to talk, shortstack!"

"Why, you-"

Ren cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Mr... Water... Boy?"

"That's muh name!"

"Aren't you going to give us some information about this world?"

"Nope- I don't know anything about it- or any of you, for that matter! I just grabbed a random disc and turned it on to a random point- I have no idea what's going on here!"

Jaune leaned over to Ruby. "So... this one might not star me either?"

"I don't know," Ruby shrugged. "Things are just _weird _around here, I tell you!"

**The door slammed open, and in entered a counterpart to almost all of the guests- Yang, Blake, Jaune, Ren, and Nora all looked normal, but Weiss had a cast on her arm, indicating it had recently been broken, Ruby was absent entirely, while Pyrrha...**

"Whoa, what happened to you, Pyrrha?!" Nora gasped without thinking twice. "Did you eat Ruby? Is that why she's not here?!"

"Nora!" Ren narrowed his eyes.

Pyrrha didn't respond- she was getting over her own surprise at seeing herself so... robust? Rotund?

"Have a few too many bowls of Pumpkin Pete's, P-Money?" Yang couldn't help guffawing.

"Forget your stupid jokes, Xiao Long," Weiss interjected. "Where's your sister?"

Yang's smile vanished in an instant as she noted her sister's absence.

"**H-h-hey, bitch!" Yang called out, fury on her face. "Y-you're the one that k-k-killed my s-s-sister, aren't you?!"**

Jaws dropped around the room.

"I'm dead _again!?_" Ruby wailed.

"She's dead _again?!_" Yang growled.

"Yang is _stuttering?!_" Blake gasped, truly taken aback.

**The multicolored woman laughed. "Noooooooo **_**shit, **_**Sherlock!"**

"**Not just her," Ren put in. "All of them, too!"**

The guests felt faint when the camera followed Ren's finger around the cave's walls, showing several bodies encased in some sort of... goo, perhaps? All clearly dead, including- they realized with a jolt- some people they knew.

"I'm guessing she's not exactly a normal human," Ren speculated. "No human could- or _would_\- do such a thing."

"Am I in there?" Ruby whimpered- Yang and Jaune both placed a hand on her shoulder.

**The woman cackled again. "And I wanna thaaaaaaank you, for coming right **_**to **_**me!"**

Though it hardly mattered at this point, Yang couldn't help pondering, "Y'know, I don't remember her being this talkative."

"**You're not getting away with this," Weiss hissed angrily, producing... an inhaler? **("Is _that _the best weapon _I _can muster?!") **"**_**Your kind **_**never does!"**

**Neo responded with a belly laugh. **

**Yang smashed her fists together. "I d-d-don't care what it t-takes, y-you're not g-g-getting out of here alive!"**

**The woman leapt to her feet, seemingly towering over them despite her unimpressive stature. She began to... sing?**

"_**Better wait a minute!**_

_**Better hold the phone!"**_

**She marched right up to Yang and jabbed her in the chest with a finger.**

"_**Better mind your manners-**_

_**Better watch your tone!"**_

"Why does she suddenly sound like old Weiss?" Ruby shivered.

"I wasn't that bad... was I?" Weiss asked, suddenly self-conscious.

The looks from the others told her everything she needed. "...Drat."

**Jaune produced a knife and attempted to stab the woman from behind- she spun around and shoved him to the ground almost effortlessly. **

"_**Don't you threaten me, son!**_

_**You've got a lot of gall,**_

_**But we're gonna do things **_**my **_**way,**_

_**Or we won't do things at aaaaaall!"**_

**She dodged a punch from Yang, leaping back onto the boulder upon which she'd just been crouched, then began to... change. Her head twisted until it was upside down. "Oh, **_**yeah! You're in trouble now!" **_**Limbs began to emerge from her torso, tentacle-like and spider-esque at the same time. **

"Yang, I really don't like this," Ruby whimpered, hiding behind her sister.

The rest were hard-pressed to disagree- aside from Waterboy, who couldn't stop laughing.

**The woman(?) continued laughing as her writhing limbs bore her body aloft- suddenly, the cave began ringing with music- most haunting of all, the bodies strung around the cavern were backing the monster up.**

**Instead of directly attacking, she continued her song. **

"_**You don't know what you're messing with-**_

_**You've got no idea!**_

_**You don't know what you're looking at,**_

_**When you're looking here!"**_

"She's got that right," Nora nodded- even she was looking on with pure revulsion.

"_**You don't know what you're up against-**_

_**No, no way, no how!**_

_**You don't know what you're messing with,**_

_**But I'm gonna tell you now!"**_

**As Teams WBY and JNPR began to move, producing their weapons and preparing to fight, the bodies around the cavern sang along.**

"**Nooooooo-**

"**Oooooooooo-**

"**Oooooooooowwwww!"**

**The woman spun around, landing on her feet, doing an odd, kicking dance.**

"_**I'm just a mean, lean mother from outer space,**_

_**And I'm bad!"**_

_**("Mean, lean, bad!")**_

"Outer space?" Ren pondered, glancing at Nora- but under the circumstances, she was actually quiet.

"_**I'm just a mean, lean mother from outer space,**_

_**And it looks like you've been had!**_

"_**Yeah, I'm a mean, lean mother from outer space,**_

_**So get off my back!**_

_**Get out my face!**_

'_**Cause I'm Mean and Lean!**_

_**(Mean and Lean!)**_

_**And I am... bad!"**_

Beyond all reason, Ruby found herself smiling. "What's up with you?" Blake asked. "I thought you'd be more afraid than anyone."

"Honestly, it's... kinda catchy," Ruby admitted, bobbing her head along with the music.

Everyone was taken aback, but none moreso than Yang.

**Yang pulled out a pistol that the creature managed to grab with a tendril and begin firing at complete random, cackling all the while.**

Ruby's face darkened. "That is _not _how to use guns!" she shouted.

"Yeah, even _I _know that!" Jaune nodded fervently.

**The woman didn't seem to care, continuing to sing as she made the fighters dance. **

"_**Wanna save your skins, kids?**_

_**You wanna save your hide?**_

_**You wanna see tomorrow?**_

_**You better step aside!**_

_**Better take a hint, kids-**_

_**It's some good advice!**_

_**You better take it easy-**_

_**You're walking on thin iiiiiice!"**_

**Pyrrha snuck up behind and ran what seemed like a makeshift spear through one of her limbs- the creature pulled back, allowing it to break off, but quickly replaced it with another.**

"Go Pyrrha!" Nora cheered. "At least you hurt it!"

"We need something better," Weiss pondered.

"_**You don't know what you're messing with,**_

_**And you never did!**_

_**You don't know what you're looking at-**_

_**Well, that's tough titties, kid!**_

_**This lion won't sleep tonight,**_

_**And when you pull her tail, she roars!"**_

**The woman seemed to grin even more darkly as the others managed to sever more limbs that simply regrew. **

"_**You say, 'That ain't fair, that ain't right!'**_

_**You know what **_**I **_**say? 'Up yours!**_

"Bitch," Yang growled.

"But isn't that basically your entire motto?" Blake pointed out slyly.

"_Not _the time, Kitkat!"

**The woman landed on her feet again and went back to kicking.**

"_**I'm a mean lean mother from outer space,**_

_**And I'm bad! (Mean, lean, bad!)**_

_**Just a mean lean mother, a real disgrace!"**_

**And suddenly, out of nowhere, she suddenly dropped the theatrics, the music ceased, and she spoke, absolutely serious, no hint of a smile in sight. "And you've got me fighting mad."**

"That's somehow the most unsettling part," Blake commented.

**Just as suddenly as it had ceased, the music started again- the woman's grin returned, as did her kicking. **

"_**Just a mean lean mother from outer space,**_

_**Here to trash your ass and wreck this place,**_

_**cause I'm (Mean and Lean!)**_

_**And I am... **_

_**Bad!"**_

**She entered into a sort of combat dance with each of her enemies, dodging and striking back- only their own deftness kept them from being cleaved in half.**

"Wait... where'd Jaune go?" Pyrrha asked, panicking.

"I didn't run out, did I?" Jaune asked, looking nervous.

"No! You'd _never _have done that, fearless leader!" Nora insisted.

"Never!" Ruby affirmed- though the rest of her team didn't look quite so confident.

"_**Don't talk to me 'bout old King Kong-**_

_**Think **_**he's **_**the worst? You're thinking wrong!**_

_**Don't talk to me 'bout Frankenstein-**_

_**He's got a temper? He ain't got mine!**_

"_**I'm no creature from the Black Lagoon,**_

_**I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon!**_

_**You can keep Salem- old droopy tits!**_

_**You can keep Cinder- she ain't **_**shit!"**

**Yang found her gun on the ground and opened fire- empty clicking ensued.**

"LAAAAAAAAME!" Yang called.

"_**I'm a killer born from a power stem-**_

_**This rose has thorns, and I'm using them!**_

_**Time to move on out- Nature calls!**_

_**Got my point? I'm gonna bust your balls!"**_

**She drove one of her tendrils towards Ren's groin- she missed by mere centimeters.**

"That does it!" Nora yelled. "Grow all the legs you want, lady, imma breakin' them all!"

Ren nodded, maintaining a steady face as he crossed his legs.

**The woman didn't seem perturbed.**

"_**I'm mean and lean-**_

_**mean and lean- **_

_**mean and lean-**_

_**and I!**_

_**Am!**_

_**Ba-"**_

**She was cut off as Jaune appeared, stabbing her through the back, causing her to roar in pain. The music stopped, and she managed to pull free, still screaming in pain as she suddenly leapt into the air towards a small hole in the ground, her body seemingly deflating to fit through it, like an old cartoon.**

**When she was gone, everyone else stared at each other. "Well, I know what **_**I'm **_**writing for my summer experience essay," Nora remarked.**

The screen blacked out.

"See! You'd never abandon us!" Ruby grinned, punching Jaune lightly on the shoulder.

"Never doubted you a second," Ren smiled gently.

"All hail the conquering hero!" Nora trilled.

"Well done, Jaune," Pyrrha praised gently.

Jaune turned bright red. "I mean, it wasn't really _me, _per se..."

Weiss held her tongue- like Yang and Blake, she was feeling somewhat guilty for even considering that Jaune might have abandoned them, but then another thought crossed her mind.

"Wait- so what did that universe have to do with-"

Waterboy was gone.

"Where'd he go?"

"I didn't see him go," Blake commented.

"Last I saw him was the beginning of the song," Pyrrha recalled.

"Oohhhhh..." Crazy grumbled as he finally emerged from the room with George at his side. "You didn't have to hit so hard..."

"And _you _didn't have to BETRAY me," George countered.

"Yeah, yeah... hey, guys, what happened- Jaune! Where did you come from?!"

"Wha- didn't you bring him here?" Weiss demanded.

"I didn't- you, Georgie?"

"I was too busy teaching you a lesson."

"By which you mean replacing my liver with my kidney... anything else happen while we were gone?"

"A friend of yours came, Waterboy, and-"

"Waterboy?" Crazy's eyes widened. "Oh, boy..." He scanned the room quickly, and confirmed his suspicions. "Smeg, smeg, smeg- HE STOLE MY FREAKING COFFEE TABLE!"

_XXXX_

An idea I had to get out of my head if I was going to get ahead with any of my other stories. My apologies if you expected something more substantial- it's coming in the not-too-distant future. Speaking of substantial, reader reaction has officially warranted a continuation of the previous chapter- the exact form it will take, I plan on running a poll for! When in doubt, poll it! If you wanna see it as a story on its own, vote! You wanna see it carried on primarily in YaM? Vote! Wanna see both? Vote! Wanna see neither? Well... it's pretty well gonna happen regardless, but I guess you could vote for that, too. Going up at the same time as this chapter- I'll keep saying it til the day I die. Vote, vote, vote, or forever hold your peace. Until a chapter of greater substance arrives, please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, Gamer4 out!


	9. The Great Jacques Schnee

Gamer4 in... I don't remember writing the last episode. That's probably a bad sign. I dare not go back and look at it- let's just keep moving forward.

Disclaimer: The Big Lebowski comes to us courtesy of the Coen Brothers, who likely _do _remember their work. I think. Oh- extra language this chapter- figured I should let ya know ahead of time.

Episode VII

The Great Jacques Schnee

The guests blinked in confusion- indeed, the coffee table was gone, leaving Crazy to roll around on the floor where it had been.

"He smegged me, he smegged me, friendship is dead and never-"

"Okay, enough of that," George interjected, rolling his eyes as he forced Crazy to his feet. "Who's Water Boy?"

"Friend of mine... he was over for the fourth, I guess he slipped into this world while I was looking the other way..."

"He showed us another world," Ren volunteered. "One where-"

"-Ruby died!" Yang interrupted, snarling. "Tell me, _Hand, _why are there so many worlds where _Ruby dies?!_"

Crazy gulped, pulling away as much as he could. "Er... well... you see, the thing about that is... _HARRY, HELP ME!"_

There was a popping noise as Harry Potter appeared out of nowhere, waving his wand and shouting "OBLIVIATE!" One flash of light later, and the guests were back on the couch, looking dazed.

"Oh... thank you," Crazy grinned. "They were about to beat me up again..."

"Start solving your own problems, you bloody yank," Harry shook his head.

"Oh, Harry!" George interrupted before he could go, his eyes sparkling. "Before you leave, mind if I ask you a few questions? How does magic work? Is it something in the air you tap into, is it something you generate yourself- and at what rate? And what-"

"Love to stick around, but I have things I need to do," Harry interrupted, before turning and stepping into nothingness.

George sighed heavily. "I'm _going _to get that interview one of these days..."

"Urr... what happened?" Nora wondered as she rubbed her head. "Last thing I remember was Renny hypnotizing Ruby, and- oh! Fearless Leader!" She brightened perceptibly when she saw Jaune standing there. "When did _you _get here?!"

"Jaune!" Pyrrha beamed upon seeing him sitting next to her.

"Er... you guys went missing earlier, so I asked if I could use the bathroom as an excuse to go looking for you... but instead of the hallway, the door opened into this house," Jaune recalled, glancing around. "Er... where _are _we?"

"We're in a world between worlds," Nora beamed brightly, thumbing over at Crazy and George. "One of these guys brought us here to watch a bunch of different worlds from the multiverse, usually starring you, but not always- they said they didn't want us feeling left out. They'd _like _to send us right back home, but they need to tell some sorta story first, or we'll all die horrible, painful deaths."

Yang sniggered a bit at the befuddled look on Jaune's face- Weiss, Blake, Pyrrha, and Ren all facepalmed.

"You... alright there, Nora?" Jaune asked. "You didn't drink espresso again, did you?"

"No, she's right," Ruby confirmed. "We've had a world where you were a psychic fighting aliens, a world-famous author, and a kick-butt android!" She, too, was beaming at him.

For some reason, Jaune seemed to sag into himself. "Ah. I see. I guess it makes sense that just about every other version of me out there would be cooler than I am..."

"Oh, don't talk about yourself like that!" Pyrrha objected immediately. "You're plenty cool!"

"Pyrrha, I don't even have my semblance yet..."

Weiss spared him a brief look of pity before leaping to her feet and grabbing Crazy's ear.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"_You _caused this problem," she hissed in his ear. "Now do something to fix it!"

"Okay, okay, just let go!" Crazy pleaded. She obliged. "Smeg, at least we get to see you _do _care-"

She reached back and grabbed his other ear. "Oh, Dancer, whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?"

Everyone stared as Weiss returned to her seat with a 'Hmph!'

"Okay, fine, you want a less-awesome Jaune? I'll give you a less-awesome Jaune," Crazy decided. "Here, try _this _world on for size."

The guests seemed rather uncertain as he plugged the next one in.

**The screen opened up on a sandy hill, an old country song playing in the background. As usual, the title appeared- **

_**The Great Jacques Schnee**_

"Father?" Weiss asked bluntly. "You have a universe in your collection about my father?"

"Kinda, kinda not," Crazy shook his head. "Look, just listen to the narration, would ya?"

"**I've heard many stories in my great long life, but this is one that stuck with me. Way out west, there was this man I want to tell you about."**

"Wait, is this a western?" Nora asked excitedly. "Oh, I _love _westerns!"

"I can't say _I _do," Blake grumbled. "A glorified take on all the terrible things that-"

"SHUT UP, COWBOYS ARE AWESOME!" Nora struck her down immediately.

"That narrator- it's Ozpin!" Jaune gasped.

"Oh, yeah, you haven't seen any before," Ruby recalled. "He's been in a few of them... though he _does _kinda have the tendency to end up dead."

Jaune suddenly looked uncomfortable. "How often do... people die in these things?"

"Death is a natural part of life," Pyrrha said quietly. "Peering into so many universes, it seems only natural we'd encounter a few."

"But what does this have to do with father?" Weiss pondered. "Is _he _the man Ozpin wants to tell us about?"

"**That man... he went by the name 'Jacques Schnee.'"**

"Oh... I see."

"Why do we have to watch a western about that... _person_?" Blake asked menacingly.

"Relax, everything is not what it seems!" Crazy said quickly.

"**Or at least, that's the handle his parents gave him- he never had much use for it himself. **_**This **_**Jacques Schnee preferred people to call him Jaune Arc- or, even better, call him by his chosen name, The Dude."**

"...What."

Nope, no more, that was everyone's reaction.

"**Now, Dude... that's not a name anyone would take where I come from... but add that to the list of things about the Dude that don't make much sense to me. Or about where he lives, for that matter."**

**The camera lifted up from the desert to reveal a vast, sprawling city- a tumbleweed blew into it from the east.**

"So... this isn't a western _or _about Mr. Schnee?" Pyrrha asked, confused beyond belief.

"You're _not _going to tell me Arc is my father here," Weiss crossed her arms.

"No, of course not!" Crazy shook his head. "...They just happen to have the same name."

"Oh, of course, that makes total sense," Weiss rolled her eyes.

"I mean, stranger things _have _happened in these worlds," Ruby reflected. "Maybe there's a world where he's identical to _our _dad."

The sisters turned to glance at Jaune, scratching at a patch of stubble on his chin he hadn't had the chance to shave that morning. He glanced over at them. "...What?"

"**No, there was precious little about the city of Vale that I truly understood... but then, perhaps that's why I found it so interesting. They say that Vale was founded by angels, though I saw precious little evidence of that. I shouldn't be unfair- there are some rather nice people there. **

"**I don't have **_**too **_**much to compare it to, I suppose. I've never been to London... or to France... nor have I seen any Queen's undergarments, as the old song goes."**

"What is your fascination with perversion?!" Weiss growled in Crazy's direction.

"I'm not!" Crazy insisted. "He's saying he _hasn't _seen anything like that!"

Jaune had questions of his own. "Where are London and France?"

"Oh, France is a kingdom way east of here," Crazy answered quickly. "London's the capital of a kingdom in between. This version of Ozpin is... well travelled."

"Across different universes?" Weiss asked skeptically.

"Oh, stop being so _boring, _Weiss!" Nora rolled her eyes dramatically. "You lost your right to be skeptical when we _got _here!"

"**But I will say this- after seeing the city of Vale... and this story I intend to tell... I do believe I've seen something as awe-striking as you'd see in any of those places- in English, no less. After seeing this story I'm about to tell, I do believe I can die with a smile on my face. The Dancer certainly did not cut me short."**

"The Dancer?" Ren asked, quirking a brow.

"Longstory,we'llgettoitlater!" Crazy said in a single breath.

"**Yes, this story... this story I intend to tell occurred during the nineties- round about the time of the war with Adam Taurus and the White Fang."**

Everyone could feel Blake tense...

"**Now, they don't factor **_**into **_**this story."**

-And suddenly release.

"**I only mention them at all because sometimes, there's a man- I wouldn't say a **_**hero, **_**because what **_**is **_**a hero, anyways, but... sometimes there's a man- and I'm talking about the Dude here- sometimes, there's a man, and..."**

Ruby couldn't help giggling. "I think he's losing his train of thought.

**As he spoke, the camera entered a supermarket, where a man appeared, alright- it looked like Jaune Arc, though his hair was rather longer than usual, reaching down past his shoulders, in matted tangles indicating he probably hadn't cared for it in nearly a decade. He had a similarly long and tangled beard and moustache. A pair of sunglasses hid his eyes, and he'd hardly dressed up for his excursion- he wore a t-shirt, a pair of pajama bottoms, slippers, and a bathrobe.**

"Oh, my!" Pyrrha gasped.

Yang burst out laughing, while Jaune blushed and pulled his hood up.

"The... the _indecency!" _Weiss shrieked, affronted.

"You _go, _fearless leader!" Nora cheered. "You don't need any fancy-shmancy clothes to go out to the supermarket!"

"**Yes, sometimes, there's a man... a man of his time and place. A man who fits right in- and that's the Dude, in the city of Vale. And even if he **_**is **_**a lazy man- which the Dude most certainly **_**was, **_**quite possibly the laziest **_**in **_**Vale, which would put him as a frontrunner for laziest in all of Remnant..."**

**Throughout this narration, Jaune picked up a pair of milk cartons- he opened one up and took a whiff, before taking a long, shameless drink from it.**

Weiss looked like she was about to have a stroke.

Yang couldn't stop laughing.

Ruby looked horrified. "But... but... he hasn't _paid _yet!"

Nora was getting more and more excited as she cheered her fearless leader on.

Pyrrha kept opening her mouth as though intending to say something, but just kept closing it again.

Blake pressed her face further into her palm.

Ren tilted his head. "Hmm... that's _one _way to determine its worth..."

"**Still, sometimes, there is a man... sometimes, there's a man... hmm... I seem to have lost my train of thought. But still, I believe I've introduced him enough."**

**Ozpin stopped speaking, making way for the return of the country song as Jaune took the milk he'd drunk from up to a register and wrote a check for it.**

"Really? A check?" Blake rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "It's only 69 cents."

"69 cents, eh?" Yang smirked. "You know what that means, right?"

Abruptly, Jaune lowered his hood, looking horror-struck. "I don't have enough for chicken nuggets!"

Yang huffed and crossed her arms. "You people are no fun."

Weiss was clenching and unclenching her fists. "That check... is... _postdated!"_

**The scene changed to Jaune returning home to a run-down apartment. He opened the door and stepped inside. It was pitch black until he turned on the light, revealing a tall man with a goatee and bat wings behind him.**

"Uh-oh," Ruby winced, already seeing what was coming.

**Jaune stepped further into his hallway. He paused, blinking, and turned around. "Er- who are-"**

**Before he even finished the sentence, a second faunus with spiderweb patterns running up her arms tackled him from the side, rushing him down the hall into his bathroom, where she forced his head into the toilet. **

"JAUNE!" Pyrrha panicked.

"Oh, they did _not!" _Nora growled.

"I'm _so _sorry," Blake muttered, looking away in shame.

"Ohh, and after I finally got away from Cardin," Jaune muttered.

"Wait, Cardin?" Pyrrha asked, perking up. "What do you mean-"

"Nothing!"

"**Where's the money, Schnee?" the spider-faunus asked fiercely, before dunking his head again. "Where's the fucking **_**money, **_**Schnee? Tina said you're good for it!" Dunk. "Where's the fucking money, Shithead?!"**

"Come on, they're not even giving him a chance to talk!" Yang snarled.

**And yet, she did, finally pausing long enough in her dunking for Jaune to catch his breath and say, "It's... it's... it's down there somewhere, let me have another look."**

Yang paused, then burst out laughing. "Kay, this Vomit Boy's got some _sass _to him!"

"You _tell _'em, fearless leader!" Nora whooped.

Jaune smiled faintly, wishing that he could, indeed, be that cool under pressure.

**Spider-faunus seemed less than amused. She shoved his head down again, far more roughly than before. "Don't **_**fuck **_**with us!" she snarled, before finally releasing him- he rolled over and struggled to wipe his sopping hair out of his face. "Your wife owes money to Roman Torchwick- that means **_**you **_**owe money to Roman Torchwick!"**

A bomb may as well have been dropped. "Jaune's _married?!" _Pyrrha gasped.

"I... I pity the fool he tricked into that!" Weiss huffed. "Just look at the state of that place!"

"**This is what happens when you fuck with Roman Torchwick, Schnee," the bat-faunus smirked, unzipping his pants.**

"**Oh, no, don't do that, man," Jaune groaned as the sound of whizzing met his ears.**

"Urgh!" was pretty much everyone's response.

Blake shook. "Thanks for moving away from stereotypes..."

"**Oh... not on the rug, man," Jaune groaned.**

"**This is what happens, Schnee," Spider-faunus growled. "You **_**see **_**what happens?"**

"**Urgh!" Jaune rolled his eyes heavily. "**_**Nobody **_**calls me Jacques Schnee- you've got the wrong guy! I'm Jaune Arc- the Dude, man!"**

"**You're Jacques Schnee, Schnee," Spider-faunus spat back. "And your wife is Tina."**

**Jaune gave an odd grunt-laugh. "**_**Wife? **_**My- my **_**wife?" **_**He held up his left hand. "Do you see a ring on this finger? Does this place **_**look **_**like I'm fucking married? **_**The toilet seat's up, man!" **_**He slammed it down to illustrate his point.**

"My sentiments exactly," Weiss huffed.

"Ah, don't worry, Weiss, we know you're just glad to hear you didn't miss your boat yet," Yang teased.

"What?" Jaune asked, ears perking up.

"Oh, there was this other world where you two were kind of a-" Nora started, but Weiss slammed her hand over her mouth.

"Beep beep, Nora!" she snarled, then paused. "Er... I'm not sure where that came from. It just... felt right."

Nora blinked, but returned to her seat nonetheless.

**With the seat back down, Jaune reached into the bowl and recovered his sunglasses, shaking them off before returning them to his face.**

"Fashion before all," Blake noted dryly. "Coco would be proud."

**Spider-faunus glanced at the bag Jaune had carried in- she reached in to find only a single item- a large bowling ball. "The fuck is this?"**

"**You've clearly never seen Lord of the Rings," Jaune grumbled, climbing onto the toilet. Spider-faunus glared at him and simply dropped the ball- it cracked the tiling.**

"Dang, VB, you should take some notes!" Yang chortled. "Team CRDL would _really _back off if you had comebacks like this!"

"Heheh... yeah," Jaune nodded, shrinking into himself.

**Spider-faunus glanced back at Bat-faunus. "Yuma?"**

"**Yes, Trifa?"**

"**...Would a billionaire really be living in a rundown apartment like this?"**

**As one, they looked at the rough appearance of the apartment-dwelling rat they'd been harassing.**

"**...Fuck."**

"This just occurred to them _now?!" _Weiss looked like she was about to have a coronary. "They honestly thought that Schnees would live in a place like _this?!_"

"They don't seem to be the brightest bulbs in the socket," Ren commented agreeably.

"**This guy's a fucking **_**loser!" **_**Yuma exclaimed.**

"**At least **_**I'm **_**housebroken," Jaune fired back.**

Blake felt like she ought to comment, but, under the circumstances, let it slide.

**The two thugs glowered at him, but settled for storming out the door, giving his befouled rug a kick for good measure on the way out.**

**Jaune watched them go, water dripping from his hair, before the scene suddenly cut to black, a new song playing at full blast.**

**The darkness lifted, revealing a fresh set of pins in a bowling alley. At the opposite end of the lane, a score-card was being slid into place, right next to a cupholder with a bottle of beer. **

"A... a bowling alley?" Ruby pondered. "Why a bowling alley?"

"As my dear cousin Andrew once said," Crazy said, smiling nostalgically, "'Bowling is the medium through which this story is told.'"

**The song continued to croon, a series of la's ringing out as a bowler picked up the ball and rolled, nailing a strike.**

**Elsewhere in the alley, a very familiar hand waved in front of a dryer before picking up a ball- Yang Xiao Long picked it up and bowled a strike. She grinned and did an odd dance back to her seat.**

"Ugh," Yang rolled her eyes. "If you ever see me doing something like that, guys... shoot me."

**Another shift of the camera, and they were watching someone they recognized from the tournament as Flynt Coal successfully knocking out a 7-10 split. **

**The girls of Team NDGO threw in near perfect synch with the song. Strike, strike, strike... gutter ball. **

**In the background, a tall man with red hair was spraying down the shoes that weren't being worn.**

Blake burst out sputtering. "Wha- _Adam?!_"

"No, no, he only _looks _like Adam!" Crazy assured her quickly. "The real Adam's at war with the kingdoms of Vytal!"

A notion that didn't seem to settle her all that much.

**And finally, the camera turned to Blake, showing perfect form as she threw her ball down the lane, smiling as she hit a strike.**

**The song finally faded into the background as she turned towards her teammates- Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos. "I'm doing great tonight- mark it, Dude."**

**Jaune and Pyrrha were hardly paying attention- they were having a conversation of their own.**

"So Jaune and I are on the same bowling team?" Pyrrha smiled. "I like the sound of that."

"Why Blake, though?" Nora wondered, pouting. "Why can't it be Team JNPR?"

"Why am I a bowler?" Blake added.

"One answer for all of you:" Crazy declared. "...Ka."

"Ka?" Yang asked, tilting her head.

"Ka."

"What does that-"

"It means that the woman in red fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed, okay!" Crazy shouted back.

Everyone turned to George in hopes of a rational interpretation, but he was rolling his eyes. "He's been like this for a few days now- even I can't make much sense of it."

"**That was a valuable rug," Pyrrha was saying.**

"**Yeah, yeah it was," Jaune agreed. "It really tied the room together."**

"**Valuable fucking rug," Pyrrha nodded.**

There was a cumulative anime fall from everyone- despite everyone sitting down. Pyrrha Nikos... swore?

"**What really tied the room together?" Blake asked.**

"**His rug- were you even **_**listening **_**to the Dude's story, Blake?" Pyrrha asked wearily.**

"**Huh?"**

"**Were you listening to the Dude's story?" Pyrrha repeated, eyes narrowing. **

"**I mean... I was bowling."**

"**So you have no frame of reference," Pyrrha groaned. "You're like a child wandering in to the middle of a movie and wonders-"**

"**Do you have a point, Pyrrha?" Jaune interrupted as he got his shoes on.**

"**Here's my point, Dude," Pyrrha turned back to him. "There's no reason that the person at fault-"**

"**Yeah, Pyrrha, what's your point?" Blake asked.**

**Pyrrha paused, a tic going in her eye.**

"We seem like... a rather dysfunctional team," Pyrrha noted sadly.

"Since when have I been this oblivious?" Blake asked, only to shy away when everyone turned to her. "...What?"

"I mean, whenever you get deep into one of your books..." Ruby whispered.

"Except in _this _world, it's bowling instead of books," Yang concluded.

Blake pulled into herself, pouting.

"**Yes, Pyrrha, we all know who's at fault here," Jaune nodded, doing up his laces. "But I still don't see what the fuck you're talking about."**

"**What the fuck I'm-" Pyrrha glowered. "Jaune, we're talking about unchecked aggression here."**

"**What are you talking about?" Blake asked.**

"_**Forget it, **_**Blake, you're out of your element!" Pyrrha snapped. **

"**Look, Pyrrha-" Jaune inserted himself before she could build up a head of steam. "It's on the spider-faunus- **_**he's **_**the one who peed on my rug. What do you want me to do, go give him a bill?"**

"**The fuck are you **_**talking **_**about- the spider-faunus is **_**not **_**the issue here!" Pyrrha's voice was starting to rise- always a bad sign. "I'm talking about drawing a line in the fucking sand, Dude!"**

"Wow, Pyrrha," Nora was practically bent double laughing. "You're a lot more... outgoing here!"

Pyrrha was violently red, burying her face into her hands. "I'm sorry!"

Jaune placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled- she immediately broke into a stupid grin and snuggled into his shoulder.

Ruby's eyes narrowed.

"**You draw a line in the sand, and say, YOU WILL NOT CROSS THIS- also-" Pyrrha cut herself off, returning to a more normal volume, "-spider-faunus is rather politically incorrect, Dude. Arachnid-Vytalian, please."**

**Jaune rolled his eyes heavily. "We're not talking about someone forced to work on railroads, Pyr, we're talking about-"**

"**Dangit, Jaune, FUCK THE SPIDER-FAUNUS!" Pyrrha roared. **

"**But he's the one who peed on my fucking rug!"**

"**Yeah!" Blake agreed, nodding. "**_**He's **_**the one who peed on the Dude's fucking rug!"**

"**Fuck off, Blake, you are **_**out of your element," **_**Pyrrha repeated. "Jaune, forget the spider-faunus, he's not the issue."**

"**Then who is?" Jaune asked as he stood and began to stretch.**

"**Jacques Schnee!" Pyrrha insisted. "The **_**other **_**Jacques Schnee, the **_**great **_**Jacques Schnee!" The phrase left her lips with no small amount of sarcasm. "The billionaire- he's got the wealth to pay these people off, so why doesn't he? There's no **_**FUCKING **_**reason his wife should go out, rack up massive debt and get faunus into **_**your **_**home to pee on your fucking rug! Am I wrong?!"**

"**No," Jaune grunted as he worked a knot out of his back.**

"_**Am I wrong?!"**_

"**No, Pyrrha, you're not wrong."**

"**Damn right, I'm not wrong."**

"That's something I'm wondering," Weiss put in. "So, my father has a different wife in this world?"

"Remarried," Crazy addressed. "Trophy wife."

"Oh... I... I see."

"Are you okay, Weiss?" Jaune asked tentatively. "I... I know you don't really-" He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. She took his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder.

"Shut up, don't touch me," she whispered. The rest of Team RWBY watched on with small, sad smiles on their faces. Coming from Weiss, that may well be the closest he ever got to 'I love you.'

"**No, Pyrrha, you're not wrong," Jaune repeated.**

"**Of course not. That rug **_**really **_**tied the room together," Pyrrha reminded him. "Did it not?"**

"**Yeah," Jaune nodded. "It **_**really **_**tied the fucking room together."**

"**And this guy peed on it," Blake noted scornfully.**

Yang couldn't help snorting despite herself. "I think this Blake's just happy to be included."

"**So that's what I need to do!" Jaune decided. "**_**Find **_**the other Schnee!"**

"**Schnee?" Blake blinked. "Hey, that's the same name as you, Dude!"**

Blake curled further into herself. "Not _that _oblivious..."

"**I need to find him and get him to compensate me for my rug!" Jaune affirmed, pacing and downing a beer at the same time. "I mean, his wife goes out, racks up debt all over town, and they pee on **_**my **_**rug?!"**

"**They peed on your fucking rug," Pyrrha nodded scornfully.**

"**Pee on **_**my fucking rug,**_**" Jaune nodded.**

"**That's right, Dude," Pyrrha nodded. "They peed... on your fucking rug."**

"Oh my God, we _get it!" _Weiss burst out- only to be calmed by the sudden arrival of the wild Nacho-cat. "Where were _you _a few minutes ago? Off being adorable? Yes you were, yes you were!"

Nacho purred happily as he settled into her lap. Jaune smiled and got in some scratches behind the ears. "Cute little guy, isn't he?"

"Just watch out for the black cat," Nora shuddered. "She's eeeeeeeviiiiiiil..."

**Once again, the scene changed with surprising swiftness, as Jaune was led into a large, spacious chamber decked out all in white. His guide was a shorter man with a large bald spot. "And this, my good man, is the study, where the master keeps his highest awards and accolades."**

"Klein?" Weiss gasped.

"Who's Klein?" Ruby asked.

"He's my favorite butler," Weiss answered without thinking- and quickly turned red.

Yang smirked. "Your _butler, _huh?"

"Your cake butler?" Ruby asked.

"No, not my- that is... urrrgh!"

Blake shrunk away- nobody must know, nobody must know, _nobody must know..._

Weiss changed the topic. "I don't see this conversation going well, is what I'm saying! My father would never admit to being complicit in something like this, let alone compensate someone for a simple rug!"

"Maybe your rug butler can help him out," Yang smirked.

"URGH!"

"**Yeah, impressive," Jaune shrugged offhandedly. He wasn't really all that impressed- from what he could tell, most of these awards were fancy ways of saying, **_**Hey, I threw a load of money around, and people gave me awards for it.**_

Weiss sighed heavily. "Yes... that... that sounds about right..."

"**You got a... a key here..."**

"**The key to the city of Argus, yes. And beside it, you can see him sitting with the Queen of Atlas."**

"**Oh, he's the guy on the left?"**

"**Yes, that's him."**

"**A little handicapped, huh?"**

"**I believe he prefers the term disabled," Klein acknowledged. "Mr. Schnee has met with various royals, though he unfortunately hasn't had time for photos with all of them. The Queen of Atlas was something special, though- a wonderful woman, we quite enjoyed our time in her court."**

Weiss groaned, knowing she was never going to hear the end of this.

"**And these?" Jaune asked, gesturing to a picture of Jacques in the midst of several children.**

"**Oh, those are Mr. Schnee's children."**

A vast spit-take, despite hardly anyone drinking anything. "Damn, Weiss, you didn't tell us your Dad got around that much!" Yang coughed.

Blake narrowed her eyes. "He has faunus children?"

**Jaune seemed equally interested. "Catholic, I'm guessing? But, uh... **_**ethnically, **_**there's quite a few kinds in there, ain't there?"**

**Klein laughed. "Oh, my apologies, I didn't mean his **_**actual **_**children- these are the Little Schnee Urban Achievers- inner-city youth without the means for higher education. Mr. Schnee is determined to see them all into college."**

"Or, more likely, it's all a publicity stunt," Blake hissed.

Some of the others cringed, wondering how Weiss would react- but she only sighed.

"Yes, yes, that sounds about right..."

"**Nice," Jaune shrugged. "Think he's got room for one more?"**

"**One more?" Klein asked confusedly- then laughed. "Ah, I see. Mr. Arc, you are a delight. Now, Mr. Schnee should be here in a-"**

**The doors opened, and Jacques Schnee appeared in a motorized wheelchair, looking rather grouchy. "Very well, you're a Schnee, I'm a Schnee, terrific. However, I am quite busy- I cannot speak for you. What is it you wish to speak to me about?"**

"Urgh," Nora grunted. "Weiss, is that your Dad? I can _see _the douchiness douching out of his douchenozzle!"

"Nora, that's disgusting," Ren chided- though they all noticed he hadn't _countered _the claim.

**Jaune tilted his head, and slowly moved to a chair opposite Jacques's desk. "Well, sir, y'see, it's this... this rug I had. It really tied the room together, you see..."**

Weiss took an obvious drink of the soda in front of her. "Every time they repeat a line like that, I'm taking a drink," she announced.

"Well, if we're gonna do that, we may as well do it properly!" Yang grinned. "Hey, Crazy, let's get some booze in here!"

"No booze, Mountain Dew," Crazy crossed his arms. "You don't like it, take it up with one of the other people running stories like these."

"...Are there?" Ruby asked thoughtfully.

"Huh?"

"Are there... other people running stories like these?"

Crazy blinked, and gulped. "Er... ON WITH THE SHOW!"

"**Yes, I'm aware," Jacques brushed aside impatiently. "You told Klein, he told me. What I want to know is where **_**I **_**come into this."**

"**Well, y'see... they were looking for you, these guys."**

"**Yes, I know," Jacques interrupted. "**_**You told Klein, he told me. **_**Where do **_**I **_**fit into this?"**

"**You know what happened?" Jaune repeated.**

"**Yes, I'm quite aware."**

"**So... you know it's **_**your **_**rug they wanted to piss on?"**

**Jacques leaned forward. "Did **_**I **_**urinate on your rug, Mr. Schnee?"**

Jaune groaned. "I really don't like this guy..."

There was a general nod of agreement.

**Jaune blinked. "You mean... did you **_**personally **_**come and piss on my-"**

"**Do you speak English, Mr. Schnee?" Jacques interrupted. "Must I summon an interpreter? I'll ask again- did **_**I **_**urinate on your rug?"**

"**No, I'm pretty sure the guy's name was Yuma-"**

"**So let me get this straight," Jacques butted in again. "Every time a rug is befouled in this city, it's **_**my **_**job to set things right?"**

Yang growled. "That's not what he's saying, and you _know _it, bastard."

Weiss rubbed her temples. "This is going almost exactly as I imagined..."

**Jaune gave a small smile, more out of befuddlement than genuine amusement. "You think I'm trying to scam you or something?"**

"**No, I believe you're looking for a handout, like every other-" **

**Jacques had been building up a head of steam, but he paused and took a deep breath. "Are you employed, Mr. Schnee?"**

"**Okay, okay, let me explain something, real quick," Jaune sighed. "**_**I **_**am not Mr. Schnee- **_**you're **_**Mr. Schnee. My name's Jaune Arc- or you can call me the Dude. Yeah, just call me the Dude, really. The Dude, your Dudeness, the Duder, El Duderino, if you're not into the whole... brevity... thing..."**

"You started off strong," Ren noted. "But fell a little flat towards the end."

"Thanks, Ren," Jaune sighed.

"We can work on your speech-writing skills, if you'd like."

"Thanks, Ren."

"**Very well, then, Mr. Arc," Jacques crossed his arms. "**_**Are you employed?**_**"**

"**Well... that's kinda... employed?"**

"**I hardly think one would go looking for employment in a bathrobe, Mr. Arc," Jacques snorted derisively. "I hardly think most people go out at all in a bathrobe, particularly on a weekday!"**

"**It's a weekday?" Jaune asked, nonplussed.**

"Really, now!" Weiss was getting worked up again- only the power of the Nacho kept her in her seat.

"**No, no, you are unemployed," Jacques decided. "**_**I, **_**however, am not, if you don't mind."**

"**I... I do mind!" Jaune objected. "The Dude minds! This will not stand- this aggression will not stand, man!"**

"You'd probably make a better point if you actually stood up," Blake threw in. "Just a tip from someone who used to protest for a living."

"...Thanks, Blake."

"**I mean- your wife goes out racking up-"**

"**MY WIFE?!" Jacques suddenly burst, slamming his hand on the table. "MY WIFE IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE! My greatest wish is that my wife learn to live on her ample allowance one day! Until she does, that is **_**her **_**problem, not mine, just as **_**your **_**rug is **_**your **_**problem, not mine! Every bum's lot in life is their own problem, regardless of who else they choose to blame!"**

"How _dare _you talk to Jaune like that!" Pyrrha's eyes were flaring.

"I dunno, he doesn't really seem to care all that much," Ruby pointed out.

**Indeed, he was casually reaching into his robe's pocket and taking out his sunglasses again. **

"_**I **_**didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs!" Jacques continued his tirade. "When some faunus shot them out on the shores of Menagerie! What did I do? I went out and achieved **_**anyways! I **_**cannot solve your problem, Mr. Schnee, only **_**you **_**can!"**

**Jaune stared at him for a good long while, before sighing. "Fuck it."**

**He rose to his feet and moved towards the door.**

Yang let out a low whistle. "I'm guessing not many people act like that around your dad, do they?"

Weiss shook her head. "If only..."

**The dismissive attitude only seemed to set Jacques off again. "Fuck it, hm? Of course, that's your answer to **_**everything! **_**You may as well tattoo it on your **_**forehead! **_**That's your way of admitting you've lost- the bums have **_**lost! **_**The bums **_**always-**_**"**

**Jaune casually shut the door to the study, immediately silencing him.**

**Klein was waiting just a little down the hallway. "Ah, Mr. Arc- how did the meeting go?"**

"**Pretty good," Jaune shrugged. "Old man said I could take any rug in the house."**

The screen blanked out.

"That... was interesting," Pyrrha decided awkwardly.

"Renny and I weren't in it," Nora pouted.

"Aside from his handicap, my father was... terrifyingly accurate," Weiss muttered.

"He's exactly like I imagined," Blake noted dryly.

"I can't believe there's a world where I'm like that... and named after Weiss's dad," Jaune pondered.

"Oh, you think _that's _crazy?" Ruby laughed. "You should have seen the world where you were an android!"

"Good idea, Rubes!" Crazy perked up, grinning.

"Huh?"

"Jaune hasn't had the chance to see anything else yet- let's revisit some of those old worlds, huh? Starting with... Automata?"

_XXXX_

Finally, a full chapter. And yes, I swear this time, next episode will be a return to Automata. I got way off track, but I'm gonna get back on the rails next time- author's promise. Also, I've got a commission in the works for a cover- it's a long line at the moment, but I'll stick it out. To show you're sticking it out with me, please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, Gamer4 out!


	10. XLA: Birth in the Desert

Gamer4 in. Okay, new game plan- I know how to handle the reader's choice events now. Details in end-notes, be sure to read... unless you don't care. I don't know, if you really don't give a smeg, you can just skip 'em. I... I'd recommend reading it though. I like it when people read my stuff...

Disclaimer: Until such a time as I get a new cover, you'll be seeing Emil from Nier Automata as my avatar and- by extension- this story's generic cover. I already disclaimed Automata- no need to repeat.

Episode VIII

Xiao Long Automata

Birth in the Desert

Ruby blinked. "Wait, aren't you gonna go off and do something random, give us a chance to go over the last world before we start this one?"

"Should I?" Crazy paused before plugging the DVD in.

"I mean, you always have before," Pyrrha pointed out.

"Are you saying... I'm getting predictable?" Crazy asked in befuddlement.

"Crazy, you've been predictable for ten years," George provided.

Crazy glanced around, pouting. "Well, phooey on you! I'm gonna plug this world in right now to _not _be predictable, HA!"

"Saw that coming a mile away," Weiss rolled her eyes as the disc went in.

**The screen began to show what seemed like a presentation, centering on a large circle clearly labeled **_**Earth, **_**a smaller circle orbiting, labeled **_**Moon.**_

"**5012 AD," a voice narrated. "The year mankind's glorious history came to a sudden end when the world was invaded by aliens from beyond the stars."**

"Ozpin's narrating again?" Jaune wondered.

"That's weird, there _was _no narrator last time," Yang commented, tilting her head.

"Last time?"

"Oh, we've seen this universe before!" Ruby explained brightly. "You and Weiss are a pair of kick-butt androids fighting to take earth back from evil machines!"

"W...Weiss... and me?" Jaune asked, flabbergasted.

"Don't read too much into it, Arc, it's another universe," Weiss reminded.

"Right... of... of course..."

"**The aliens unleashed an army of mechanical lifeforms that very nearly annihilated human civilization." To demonstrate, a cluster of icons labeled 'Aliens' approached Earth and sent another cluster labeled 'machines' towards it. "99.4 percent of humanity was eliminated in the war that followed- the remainder fled to the surface of the moon." A rocketship appeared, traveling from once circle to the other. **

"Nine... ninety nine point four percent?" Pyrrha gasped, completely taken aback by the scale of the destruction the aliens had wrought.

"Holy dust!" Blake muttered, eyes wide- even in the worst days of human-faunus relations, things had never gotten anywhere _near _that bad! The war must have made the faunus revolution seem like a water gun fight!

**The diagrams all disappeared. "5204 AD- Ozpin, a lead scientist on the Council of Humanity, put together special unit of androids, YoRHa, to launch a counter-attack." Where the diagram had been was a picture of Ozpin, looking up and off-screen in a rather inspirational pose. "This special unit, Ozpin knew, was humanity's greatest hope to reclaim their homeland."**

"Wait, the voice is Ozpin's, but... Ozpin lived thousands of years before now?" Ruby tilted her head as she attempted to put the pieces together.

"It's not him anymore," Crazy shook his head. "An AI that happens to have his voice. Kennit?"

"Kennit?" Ruby asked. "What's that mean?"

"It's his way of asking if you understand," George rolled his eyes, slapping Crazy upside the head (OW!)

"**However, now, even after thirteen large-scale assaults, we have yet to truly eliminate the threat." The camera pulled back to reveal a chamber full of androids watching the screen- above them all, a tall man with dark hair, graying at the edges, several marks on him from the wars he had presumably been through.**

"General Ironwood?" Weiss gasped.

"Who?" Nora asked quickly.

"The general of the Atlesian army- I didn't expect to see _him _getting involved in these!"

"My friends, you might be surprised how many people you see getting caught up in these worlds," Crazy mused as he took a long drink of soda.

**Ozpin's voice continued. "And now, there is you- the modern-day YoRHa forces, stronger than anything that has come before. It is you that will break this stalemate once and for all. You are the ultimate weapons- you **_**must **_**end this war."**

**The voice paused as a logo appeared- YoRHa: GLORY TO MANKIND.**

"**Understood, sir!" Ironwood nodded, placing an arm over his chest in salute. "Glory to mankind!"**

**All the other androids in the room mimicked the salute. "Glory to mankind!"**

**Ozpin's voice came back one last time, agreeingly. "Glory... to mankind."**

Blake felt a shiver up her spine. "You alright there, Blakey?" Yang asked.

"It... it reminds me of... y'know..."

"The White Fang?" Crazy asked, earning a glare from everyone else. "What? _Someone _has to be the blunt douchebag, and if it's me, you guys won't need to get mad at each other!"

George rolled his eyes and threw Nala at him.

"AHHHHH! SHE'S GOT MY HEEEEEEAAAAAAAD!"

**The screen was black, but white text began to roll across it. **_**2B, can you hear me? I'm starting your boost sequence.**_

"2B? What's that?" Jaune asked curiously.

"Oh, that's Weiss's actual name!" Nora rattled off. "The androids just get the letter and number for their name, then get to choose a name of their own!"

"...Okay..."

"And I think I can guess who's trying to talk with her!" Yang smirked, waggling her eyebrows.

Weiss blushed, but Jaune only quirked a brow.

_**Alright, let's check your brightness settings first...**_

**The screen slowly brightened until they saw a vast interface- they couldn't even begin to comprehend all of it, but it seemed to satisfy the scrolling text.**

_**Good. Let's go through the other adjustments, shall we?**_

"Well, if this is what the Ice Queen's mind looks like, no wonder she's such a stick in the mud."

"Oh, quiet, you!"

_**Oh- I should let you know that this process is being recorded for posterity. Let's look at your voice recognition settings next. You're set to mute, that's why I have to talk to you like this. Go ahead and adjust it until you can hear me, okay?**_

**The interface shifted to a scale of sorts gauging how sensitive Weiss's hearing was. She began to make adjustments.**

**Slowly, a voice came into focus- "2B, are you there? 2B?"**

"Do I _really _need this dolt to make all these adjustments for me?" Weiss asked scathingly.

"He's just rolling you outta bed!" Nora objected. "Just like Ren does for me!"

"I _refuse _to believe this is exactly what Ren does to wake you in the morning."

"No, it's rather more difficult," Ren agreed.

"**I hear you, 9S. Your voice is... soothing, somehow."**

Jaws dropped- even Jaune, who was able to take the voice and deduce who '9S' was. "You... y-y-_youuuuu..." _Pyrrha forced out.

"I would never!"

"I mean, he _did _kinda sacrifice his memory to save you," Ruby reminded her.

"I did what?" Jaune asked, taken aback.

"Okay, enough of this," Crazy groaned. He leapt to his feet and slammed his head against Jaune's- they both fell away, groaning. "Okay... you're up to speed."

"Yeah... I think I..."

"Wow, you can do that?" Ruby asked, eyes gleaming. "I wanna learn stuff!"

"You're not headbutting my sister," Yang interrupted, crossing her arms. "No matter how much she begs, understand?"

"Un... understood..."

**9S was about as flustered as the other Jaune. "Oh, uh... th-thank you! Er... that's the... uh, the last of the settings!"**

Yang laughed. "Forgot to mention, VB, we got together and decided this version of you is the closest to the real thing, personality wise."

"Oh... that's... that's good..." Jaune was busy fighting down a blush of his own.

"**Yup, that's everything- oh, wait, do you have self-destruct enabled?"**

"**I do."**

"**Oh, good- that's the only other thing. I guess we're good to go!"**

"Self... self-destruct?" Nora asked hesitantly. "We don't need a repeat of last time, Crazy!"

"It's just a precaution!" Crazy said quickly. "They only have it activated in case it's the only way they can finish the mission- of course they never _want _to use it!"

"They better not," Yang growled threateningly, cracking her knuckles.

**The screen disappeared, finally returning to the real world, where 2B- **_**Weiss- **_**was climbing out of her bed. "Good to go?"**

"**Commander Ironwood wants to speak to us," Jaune explained. "He has a new mission for us, I think."**

"**Very well," Weiss nodded, donning her blindfold-shaped visor. "Let's go."**

**They entered the rest of the bunker, shaped mainly like a large donut in space. **

"Mmm... tasty," Nora grinned.

"Not a type of donut you can eat, Nora," Ren pointed out.

**They circled around until they found the very chamber where Ironwood and the other soldiers had just watched the presentation- Ironwood was right in the middle. "Ah, 2B- 9S. I'm glad you've come."**

"**You have a mission for us, sir?" Weiss wasted no time getting to the point.**

"**Yes," Ironwood nodded. "You both worked together well during your previous deployment- we'll be deploying you together again. Thanks to your actions, we now have access to those city ruins- the Resistance has already set up a base there."**

"The Resistance?" Pyrrha wondered.

"The first army of androids sent to fight the machines," Crazy quickly addressed. "They're not as elite as YoRHa, but they're not under YoRHa's direct command, either. They're more like an... allied force."

"**I'd like you to make contact with them and learn whatever you can."**

"**Understood," Weiss bowed her head.**

"**Before you go," Ironwood raised a hand, "a brief word- I won't deny the **_**effectiveness **_**of self-destructing to complete a mission, but I'd like to remind you that, vast though our resources are, they are still limited. Remember that self-destructing must always be a last resort."**

"**Of course, sir," Weiss and Jaune both agreed.**

"**Very well. Carry on."**

"Oh, good," Ruby smiled. "They _don't _encourage it- I was kinda worried about that."

**Jaune smiled as he followed 2B out the door. "So, you and me again, huh, 2B- or Weiss? Mind if I call you Weiss?"**

**Weiss grunted noncommitally, which Jaune seemed to take for assent. "Is it true? Did we really work together well last time?"**

**Another grunt.**

Pyrrha glanced down at her feet. "It must be hard for her to remember... especially since he doesn't."

**Jaune seemed to sense her discomfort as well. "I'm sorry... the truth is, I wish I remembered as much as you do."**

"**You did well," Weiss decided. "You did what you had to do to complete the mission- as any YoRHa soldier should."**

**Jaune smiled sadly at the roundabout praise.**

"Oh, Weissy, cool down, you keep going like this, you'll be banging behind the bushes in no time!" Yang attempted to lift the mood.

Weiss turned violently red. "Oh, shut up, you brute!"

Jaune turned away pointedly, cheeks flushing.

**Suddenly, they were back on board their flight units, tearing over the very ground that had opened their last glimpse onto this world.**

"Oh, I hope we don't get a repeat of last time!" Ruby whimpered.

"I don't believe that's going to happen," Ren assured her. "The laser was a weapon of the goliaths, was it not? It has all but been disabled."

"POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!" Nora celebrated the deaths of the machines that had caused her friends such suffering.

**Indeed, the landing went far more smoothly this time- there was a pitiful show of resistance from the machines, absolutely nothing they couldn't take out with their flight units alone before they landed on a bridge outside the abandoned factory. They disembarked, and the flight units took off without them.**

**Weiss stepped to the edge of the bridge as Jaune took a look around. "So... this is where it happened, huh? I really wish I could remember..."**

**On the edge of the bridge was a rapier, plunged into the ground. She reached out and picked it up. **

"**Your sword?" Jaune wondered, turning to see what she was doing. "Didn't you already have one?"**

"**Yes, but... this one is special," Weiss explained under her breath, re-sheathing it. **

**Jaune smiled, but didn't ask.**

"Yup! Weapons are special!" Ruby nodded enthusiastically. "Even if you _could _get a new weapon made right away, you'd still like Myrtenaster, right, Weiss?"

Weiss said nothing, short of feeling around for her rapier in question- but, of course, all their weapons were still in their lockers back at Beacon.

"**Pod," Weiss ordered abruptly, "lead us to the Resistance Base."**

"**Affirmative," agreed the Pod bearing Ren's voice and- arguably- personality. "Follow."**

**Ren took off, and Weiss and Jaune followed.**

**It wasn't long before they were in the heart of the city ruins- countless skeletal buildings rising up towards the sky over a vast, desolate landscape. There was music, clearly for the audience helped emphasize the feeling of emptiness. Nature was attempting to reclaim the area, clearly, as skyscrapers warred against vines and trees to continue standing- a battle they were clearly losing.**

"Wow..." Nora whispered, even her eyes somewhat watery. "I... I know that this was supposed to be after the apocalypse, n' all, but... I didn't realize just... just _how..._"

She strayed off and didn't finish her sentence, nor did she need to- they were all feeling the same.

**Weiss and Jaune, however, paid no mind, running across the ground and destroying a few stray machines in their way as they headed towards the city's northwest corner, where the land had contoured into a small waterfall. Just over it, through an overhang of crumbling concrete, was an enclosure containing several more androids.**

**Only a couple seemed to react to their presence- the rest continued to bustle around, doing whatever tasks they had for the day. **

**One of them, wearing a large mask as if to blend in with the machines, greeted them. "Ah, you're from YoRHa, aren't you?"**

"**That's us!" Jaune grinned. "Could you take us to whoever's in charge?"**

"**That'd be Kali, right over there!" the masked android pointed towards a female android bent over a desk filled with various papers. **

Blake sputtered. "Wh-wh- _Kali?"_

"That name mean somethin' to ya, Kit-Kat?" Yang asked.

"That's... that's my mother!"

Everyone turned, surprised, to watch as

**Jaune and Weiss moved towards the woman- she was tall, with amber eyes and relatively short dark hair. There were some faint lines on her face indicating that she smiled quite a bit, but no cat ears.**

"Is she not a faunus?" Weiss wondered.

"No, she is... I guess we should chalk this one up to a different world," Blake decided.

"She looks nice," Jaune smiled.

"She... she was- is," Blake continued to fumble through her words, clearly shaken by this development. "I... I don't know..."

"Anything you want to talk about?" Yang asked, placing a gentle arm around her.

"...Not here... not now."

The others still looked concerned, but granted her her requested space.

"**You're Kali?" Weiss asked, wasting no time. "The leader of this camp?"**

"**Oh, yes, that I am," Kali smiled up at them as they approached. "You must be from YoRHa, am I right?"**

"**That we are!" Jaune bowed slightly. "She's 2B- or Weiss. I'm 9S, but you can call me Jaune."**

"**Weiss and Jaune," Kali repeated. "Yes... those are fine names."**

"**Have you noticed any odd machine activity since setting up camp?" Weiss, as ever, skipped straight through the pleasantries.**

"It wouldn't kill ya to be a _little _more social, y'know," Yang pointed out.

"Yang, we're fighting for the future of the world," Weiss pointed out. "Should we _really _be stopping for small talk at every opportunity?"

Yang shrugged but said nothing else.

"**Our scouts have reported a great deal of machine activity in the desert," Kali noted. "You have support pods?"**

"**Affirmative."**

**Before Weiss or Jaune could even answer, a pod appeared from behind each, hovering in front of Kali gently.**

"**There something you wanted to give us, lady?" Jaune's pod asked, in a tone far removed from the one with Ren's voice.**

"Wait, _Nora's _my pod?" Jaune asked, surprised.

"Sounds just like me!" Nora grinned. "Oh, does this mean _I _can fire my lazah too, Renny?"

Ren thought about it, and shrugged. "I would _presume _so..."

"Oh! Oh! Even better, maybe I can make myself pancakes!"

"Er, actually," Crazy put in, "there... there _are _no pancakes in this world. Androids and pods don't have to eat, I mean."

Nora paused, staring at him in horror. She let out a squeal that rose in volume and pitch. "Nooooooooo_oooooooooooo_OOOOOOOOOOO_OOOOOOOO-"_

Ren lightly chopped the side of her neck, and she crumpled into sleep on his lap. "Nora go night-night," she muttered.

"Perhaps it would be best to keep details like that to yourself from now on," Ren advised.

"Heheh... yeah..."

**Kali smiled in amusement. "Oh, I've not seen a pod like you before."**

"**Nor should you now," Weiss crossed her arms in disapproval. "Such pods should be turned in to high command for examination."**

"**I'm not gonna do that," Jaune shook his head. "Chew me out if you want, Weiss, I like her like this."**

"**BOOM! That's real friendship right there, right, Renny?" The Nora-pod floated down and delivered a fistbump to Jaune, which he happily reciprocated.**

"**As you like it, Nora," Pod-Ren seemed to shrug.**

"Yeah, no need to be such a stick-in-the-mud, Weiss!" Yang agreed wholeheartedly. "What's wrong with them actually having a personality? No offense, Ren."

"None taken... I think."

Weiss opened her mouth, then closed it- she found herself opposed to her counterpart's opinion, after all.

"**You are a delight," Kali smiled warmly. "Very well, transferring data now." She turned to a small terminal on her desk and hit a few buttons. "The desert is on the south end of the city. If I may, I'd recommend riding a moose or boar- they seem to have perfected the art of desert-travel."**

"Boar?" Nora asked, perking up as suddenly as she'd collapse. "Did someone say we could ride a boar?"

"Kali seems to believe that would be the fastest way across the desert," Ren filled her in.

"Oohhhhh... like, the Woman in Red fled across the desert, and Renny followed?" Nora asked brightly.

"...I doubt this is the same desert from that universe, Nora," Ren shook his head.

"**Thank you for the advice," Weiss nodded. "We will take it under advisement. Come, 9S." She turned and strode out of the camp with Jaune on her heels, looking somewhat put out.**

"**Y'know," he commented as they returned to the city ruins, "you can call me by my chosen name, too. It's totally fine by me."**

"**9S is sufficient for now," Weiss brushed him aside almost immediately.**

"That's... cold," Jaune muttered, feeling hurt on his own counterpart's behalf.

"Yeah, she said basically the same thing before, but I was kinda hoping she might have warmed up to him after what happened," Ruby provided.

Weiss held her tongue- if she knew herself as well as she hoped she did, she thought she detected a more ulterior motive for refusing to use 9S's chosen name.

**Weiss paused as they passed a boar sniffing at the ground. "I don't suppose you've ridden boars before?"**

"**Actually, I have!" Jaune explained brightly, eager to be of assistance. "First, we take out some bait..."**

**He produced a small pouch from the satchel over his shoulder, and held it out. As an android, Weiss could smell nothing, but it seemed to catch the large pig's interest. It lumbered over, until Jaune turned the pouch over and emptied some seeds onto the ground. The boar snorted and began to feed. Jaune smiled, beckoning Weiss over- as the boar finished, they mounted it, one leg on each side. For a human, it would have been rather uncomfortable, but androids had no muscles to stretch and scream.**

"Ahhhhh, _I _wanna ride a boar, Renny! It's so cute!" Nora squealed.

"Perhaps we can try it when we return," Ren shrugged- it would be far from the craziest venture Nora had dragged him on.

**The boar moved just as quickly as Kali had told them, tearing across the city at a speed even the fastest androids would be unable to match. Controlling it was the hardest part, but Jaune seemed to be as adept at it as he'd promised. They quickly rode south, where the hardened concrete gave way to sandy dunes, the buildings to harsh cliffs, and eventually, to nothing at all, leaving them tearing across a vast nothingness.**

"That's... definitely not the desert Ren chased Cinder across," Pyrrha nodded. "That was flat hardpan, not... dunes."

"I'm burning up just _looking _at it," Jaune noted, feeling some sweat start to build up.

"Indeed," Weiss agreed, looking rather distastefully at the vast, arid land. She'd been raised in a city surrounded by icy tundra- the endless rolling dunes under a harsh, baking sun seemed entirely alien to her.

Blake pondered, "I wonder if Sun might not be more accustomed to something like this."

**Abruptly, Jaune leapt off of the boar, Weiss not far behind. "Alright, the machines Kali told us about should be somewhere around here..."**

**The sand began to boil and roll around them, finally bursting, an entire army of machines springing from the ground.**

"Classic," Yang noted.

"Wait," Ruby noted, peering closely at the screen. "Don't these machines look a little... different to you?"

**The machines were wearing an odd form of clothing- robes and masks- as they attacked the androids in their midst. Not only that, but they were **_**speaking, **_**in a bizarre, tinned, monotone voice. "Androids... must not... continue..."**

Nobody had to speak- Weiss did it for them.

"**They're... talking."**

"**It doesn't mean anything!" Jaune assured her. "There's no **_**thought **_**behind their words- just random noise!"**

"I'm not so sure," Blake noted, biting her lip. "They're talking _and _wearing clothes?"

"I have a bad feeling about this," Weiss agreed.

**The androids launched into battle immediately, both moving with remarkable grace, their pods flying around and blasting anything they missed. **

**The tone of the machine's words began to change.**

"**Androids... scary... pain..."**

Ruby began to shudder- Yang placed a hand on her shoulder and fought not to show the concern on her own face.

"**9S..."**

"**It doesn't mean anything!" Jaune repeated. "Think about it- if they were afraid, why would they be fighting us instead of running away?!"**

**Weiss nodded and continued her assault.**

"Ren... something's wrong here," Nora whimpered, huddling up in Ren's arms.

Jaune and Pyrrha did not speak, but drew closer together.

**At last, there was only one machine left- seeing all that had happened, it let out a close approximation of a scream. "Run! Run! Androids! Scary! **_**Mercy!**_**"**

The audience continued to watch on tenterhooks, torn between rooting for Jaune and Weiss and secretly hoping that this last little machine escaped.

"**We can't let it go!" Weiss yelled, chasing after it.**

"**Keep on it!" Jaune agreed. "Maybe it'll lead us to the rest of them!"**

**They pursued it down another great dune and into more ruins covered in sand. At one point, they crossed through a playground that must have been beloved by children before, but was now as empty and desolate as everything else.**

Ruby shuddered again. "I... the aliens... and the machines did all this, right? Then why do I feel so sorry for that machine?"

"Sometimes, things are a little more complicated than black and white," Blake muttered. "It's perfectly normal to have some compassion for your enemies, Ruby... it shows you're still human."

Crazy twitched noticeably, glancing pointedly- almost sadly- at his hands, folded in his lap.

**At last, the machine ducked into a small tunnel that led to a vast, underground chamber, a few cracks in the ceiling serving as the only form of light.**

**Jaune and Weiss paused, shocked as they gazed into the pit before them- it was full of machines. More to the point, however, was what they were **_**doing.**_

**Several machines had smaller ones in their arms, rocking them like a mother would an infant- an analogy absolutely lost on the androids looking down from above. Others were using a cradle, whispering in those tinny voices, "Good boy... pretty boy..."**

**Most horrifying, however, were the actions of the grand majority of the machines within the pit- they were gathered into couples, grinding their waist areas against each other, attempting to lie on each other, or going at it from behind. The androids **_**did **_**recognize this- they held knowledge of copulation, even if they didn't ever need to do it themselves.**

"My God!" Pyrrha gasped, hands over her mouth. "What _is _this?"

"It's like they're trying to imitate human intimacy," Ren speculated- even he sounded taken aback.

"Not knowing _why, _but doing it anyways," Blake agreed, eyes wide. Weiss's eyes were twitching with mixed horror and disgust.

"But _why?"_

"**I don't understand," the Weiss onscreen mimicked her counterpart's confusion. "What are they doing?"**

"**Who knows," Jaune shrugged. "For now, let's focus on destroying them."**

**They leapt down, and attacked.**

The audience couldn't help noticing that the machines on the ground did not attempt to fight until the androids had struck first.

**And they hardly put up a fight even then- the troops above had been rather ineffective, but the machines in the pit were **_**pathetic, **_**barely able to defend themselves at all as Myrtenaster and Crocea Mors rent them asunder.**

**At last, one of them let out a call: "This... cannot... continue."**

**One by one, other machines began to pick it up, chanting it even as they were sliced apart. "This... cannot continue! This cannot continue! **_**This cannot continue! **_**THIS CANNOT CONTINUE!"**

**Soon, the entire chamber rang with their cries, **prompting the audience to cover their ears. **"THIS CANNOT CONTINUE! THIS CANNOT CONTINUE! THIS CANNOT CONTINUE! THIS CANNOT CONTINUE!"**

**And suddenly, they all stopped moving, then rushed to the side of the chamber, climbing on top of each other to slowly form two large pillars at either side. Jaune and Weiss, taken aback by this odd behavior, finally halted in their assault.**

**More and more machines appeared, from other tunnels, from above, and from the very ground below, climbing over each other. Slowly, the pillars began to reach out towards one another, finally meeting in the middle, congregating into a large, twisted orb of metal.**

"I don't like this... I don't like this at all."

Nobody was sure who'd said it- they were all thinking it.

**A light seemed to shine through the giant cluster, until it finally split apart, the machines seeming to fall apart or recede as a giant drop of what practically seemed liquid light collapsed onto the ground, where it pulled in, slowly forming into a humanoid shape.**

"**An android?" Weiss asked, taken aback.**

"**No," Jaune shook his head as he scanned it. "No, that's a **_**machine!"**_

"**An...droids..." the machine groaned as it rose to its feet.**

Team RWBY gasped- its leader in particular. "_Torchwick?!" _Ruby yelped.

"That guy again?!" Nora snarled. "He's in for another leg-breaking!"

**Indeed, the machine that had just been born perfectly resembled Roman Torchwick, standing tall with a mop of bright red hair. His bangs covered one eye, the other seemed to have guyliner built into it over a green iris. They could tell nothing about his clothes because, as far as they could tell, such clothes didn't exist.**

Yang instinctively moved to cover her sister's eyes. "I won't have my sister corrupted!"

"I don't think you need to worry about that," Ren chipped in. "He doesn't have any... any_thing _below the waist."

Yang looked closer, and slowly removed her hands- sure enough, this version of Torchwick was as smooth as a doll down there.

"I'm not a child anymore!" Ruby pouted.

"**How- what is this?" Weiss asked, taken aback.**

"**Forget how they did this- let's focus on destroying it!" Jaune called.**

**It was hard to tell whether Torchwick recognized this threat or not- he simply tilted his head as they rushed at him with their swords, pods blazing. Slowly, he smirked before moving quickly, dodging **_**through **_**them and attacking from behind. "Swords... dodge. Bullets... deflect."**

"**He's learning already!" Jaune called. "We need to finish this quick!"**

"The machines created _Torchwick _as their ace in the hole?" Weiss gawked.

"Looks like it," Yang muttered, glaring. Even if he _was _technically a newborn, she refused to feel pity for him.

**Especially with that smirk that remained on his face as he continued to fight- it began to seem almost as if he was only humoring them as he dodged their strikes and **_**swatted aside **_**the bullets being fired by Ren and Nora. **

"**Enough of this! Weiss! I'm gonna try and hack him!" Jaune called. An orb appeared between his hands and began firing beams at Torchwick. The machine seemed surprised, eyes widening as he came to a brief halt- brief, but just long enough for Weiss to take advantage, springing and running him through with her sword.**

"BAM! Now _that's _what I'm talking about!" Yang grinned. "Torchwick didn't stand a chance!"

Weiss looked more skeptical. "I wouldn't be too sure..."

**Torchwick's eyes remained wide as he moved back, the sword sliding out of him as Weiss watched, trying to determine if he were actually finished or not.**

**Moving slowly, painfully, Torchwick reached into the wound Weiss left, grabbed hold of something, and pulled it out- another orb of light, this one significantly smaller than what had birthed him. He collapsed to the ground, as did the light, which rose up, forming into yet another android-like machine, equally naked, and equally familiar to Team RWBY.**

"Hey, I know that girl!" Yang snarled, smashing her fists together. "She's the one that pummeled me on the train!"

"You're sure?" Ruby asked, surprised.

"I could never forget!"

"A truly intimidating foe," Weiss smirked. "I can see why she gave you so much trouble."

"You're one to-" Yang paused. "Wait... haven't we had this conversation before?"

Weiss's smirk disappeared. "Yes... it _does _sound familiar, now that you mention it."

"I'm sure you're just imagining things!" Crazy brushed aside quickly.

"I think _I've _seen her before, too," Blake commented, looking closer. "...Neo. Her name's Neo. She was under the bridges when we fought the paladin."

"Oh, yeah, I remember!" Ruby snapped her fingers, then blushed. "She's a little more... _free _now, though..."

**Indeed, just like Torchwick, Neo wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing- but similarly, there wasn't much to cover up. Nothing on her crotch, no nipples on her breasts.**

**Nevertheless, they'd recognize that multicolored hair anywhere, and when she opened her eyes, they were very heterochromic as they formed into her trademark smirk. She opened her mouth, and a loud screech escaped, causing the very ground to tremble.**

"**Weiss!" Jaune yelped. "The vibration's bringing this place down! We need to run!"**

**Weiss looked reluctant, but followed the order, following **_**Jaune **_**as he led them up the paths surrounding the pit and into a tunnel to escape.**

**The last thing they saw before the screen cut to black was Neo kneeling down and lifting Torchwick's unconscious form into her arms, bridal-style. His eyes flickered open, and together, the two of them smirked up at where the androids had vanished, even as the chamber collapsed around them.**

A long silence fell. "Well... that was... something," Yang noted.

"I'm not sure I want to go back to that world anymore," Ruby shuddered. "There's something... _wrong _with it."

"Yeah," Jaune agreed. "Something's just... _off._"

"Well, I don't know about taking it off the schedule altogether," Crazy shrugged, "but I guess we can move it down the line a bit. Next time, I'm thinking we can go back to the world starring Ren- don't want Jaune to get overwhelmed, now!"

"The world starring Ren?" Jaune asked. "What's that all about?"

"I'll let you guys fill him in!" Crazy decided. "I'm off to help Georgie oversee a world of his own!"

George sighed. "I've _been _working on it..."

"And now we're going to work on it together!" Crazy grinned, grabbing him from behind and frog-marching him out the door amidst several protests. The guests stared after them until they were gone.

"Yes... that's about normal around here," Weiss sighed in response to Jaune's unanswered question.

_XXXX_

Speaking of unanswered questions, I'm sure you're wondering how we're going to be handling Reader's Choice from now on! If not... you're free to go, this isn't required reading. Anyways, my new plan is that, once we reach a certain number of reviews, we'll have a reader's choice! What _is _that number, you ask? Well... I'm not gonna tell you. I don't want people abusing the system, you see... but the number _will _be steady! And once we reach it, it'll be time for another poll!

"But Crazy/Gamer4!" I hear you say, "What if nobody votes for my idea?" Well, I have an answer for you, too! Below, you will find enclosed 4 clues for 4 different universes we'll see in this story moving forward- if you are able to guess every single one of them correctly, you get your idea included for free! F-R-E-E, that spells FREE! (Only one person, though- if multiple people solve all the clues, the first one gets the free pick.) This will be _in addition to _a chapter that's voted on, so there is _no _downside to making a guess! You have until voting time to guess these clues- I'll address incorrect guesses, and _might _provide additional clues if given a good enough reason, but otherwise, these clues will be all you get! Enough yammering, these clues are:

1\. A rather serious story in which a Captain Trips.

2\. A more light-hearted story, 3,000,000 years in the making, in which Jaune finds himself all alone- more or less.

3\. Yang would do anything to protect her sister- even touch a book!

4\. Five years ago, Weiss, Jaune and Sun stood as teammates- but not today.

With that, I gotta go. Until next time, please R&R, guesses, suggestions, and constructive criticism embraced, Gamer4 out!


	11. CRTTDTC: The Town

Gamer4 in! Plenty of announcements to make before we dive in- first, for those of you not reading this story exclusively on mobile, we have a cover, courtesy of the talented Rozelius over on Twitter! (Long story, things just worked out like that.) I hope you find it to your tastes, he worked hard on it- I'm sure putting up with my crap was harder than the actual artistry. Also, as plenty of you have already noticed, we've got a poll up on my profile- if there's a particular universe you'd like to see more of, go vote for it! This can be taken in a few different ways. Until then, let's get back in the saddle like we never left off!

Episode IX

Childe Ren to the Dark Tower Came

The Town

"Man, you think he's left us hanging long enough?" Yang grumbled, just as Crazy burst through the door and hurried up the stairs, huffing rapidly.

"I- *huff, puff, huff, puff...* I'm back!"

"Where were you?" Nora accused as she helped herself to a tall stack of pancakes. "If Ren weren't here to make me pancakes, I'd have gone _crazy _by now!"

"Gone?" Weiss muttered with an imperious head tilt.

"I was trying to help Georgie with the world he's overseeing- he's still busy with it, so I think we'll go through this one on our own," Crazy explained quickly. "Jaune, they filled you in on the world starring Ren?"

"Yeah, I think I get it," Jaune nodded. "He, uh... he followed a woman in a red dress across a desert?"

"The Woman in Red fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed," Crazy nodded. "We left him off at a waystation where he met Ruby, who died in her own world and woke up in his."

"Because that makes sense," Weiss couldn't help interjecting.

"I admit to being nervous over what comes next," Ren noted, "but there's no point delaying the inevitable. Go on."

"That's what I like to hear!" Crazy whooped as the screen lit up again.

XXXX

**Ren awoke to the burning sun at the edge of his vision- he got to his feet and crossed the small space to wake Ruby. "Ruby... it's time to go."**

"**Unn... just a few more minutes..." she muttered.**

"That's my Rubes," Yang snorted. Ruby blushed and hid under her hood.

**He couldn't help smiling. "We have a great deal of land to cover- it would be best if we got moving."**

**Ruby opened her eyes, then they widened. "For a moment... I thought it was a dream."**

"**Feel me, child," Ren smiled, taking her hand in his. "Do I seem like an illusion?"**

"**No..." Ruby shook her head and began to smile. "No, you don't!"**

Smiles abounded at the admittedly sweet display.

"**Good. Let's refill our water skins- we'll need them where we're going." Almost as an afterthought, he added, "Does this place have a cellar?"**

**Ruby paled, but nodded. "Yeah... there's a trapdoor in the other room, but... I haven't been down there. There's something... wrong about it."**

"Wrong?" Ruby wondered. "What's wrong about it?"

"And how would she know?" Blake pondered, rubbing her chin.

**Ren didn't seem to doubt her. "Alright- get some water. I'll head into the cellar and see if there's any supplies down there."**

"**No, don't!" Ruby's eyes widened. "There's something... dangerous down there!"**

"**I believe you," Ren nodded. "But... I don't believe there's anything down there more dangerous than myself."**

"That's my Renny!" Nora smirked.

**The corner of Ruby's mouth twitched. Ren placed a hand on her shoulder. "Fill the water skins, and wait five minutes. If I'm not back, get moving without me. I'll catch up."**

**Ruby hesitated, but reluctantly nodded. She picked up the skins and moved out the door, leaving Ren to find the trapdoor- it wasn't difficult. He pulled it open with ease- the ladder was decaying, but when he tested it, it held his weight, allowing him to easily drop down.**

"Urgh," Weiss wrinkled her nose as she peered into the rotted basement. "I'd not like to go into a place like that."

"Well, I'm sure the butlers haven't been down there in a while, Princess," Yang smirked. Weiss rolled her eyes.

"I... don't... like... spiders," Nora whimpered, curling up next to Ren. The others looked, and shuddered- even non-arachnaphobes would shudder at the bizarre, mutant spiders lurking around this basement.

**Ren paid the spiders no mind, going through the shelves and discovering some canned food- that was good. He was loading it into his bag when there was a cracking noise from the wall opposite the ladder. He turned with narrowed eyes to spy a small hole, sand pouring into the underground chamber. As he watched, the hole widened, and the sand-flow increased. **

"**Reeeeen..." whispered a hoarse voice.**

**Above him, he heard the sound of footsteps, followed by Ruby's voice. "Ren! Ren! It's coming- I can feel it!"**

**Ren nodded. "I see it, Ruby! The skins!"**

"**They're full- come up! Come up! It's dangerous!"**

**Ren shook his head, and moved towards the widening hole.**

"What is he _doing?!_" Weiss cried, looking almost indignant.

"I'm sure he knows what he's doing!" Nora insisted, standing by her man to the very end.

"**Identify yourself," he demanded of the odd voice.**

"**Ren... you know why the girl has been thrust into your path..."**

"**You know who I am- you should know it is not wise to deny me what I seek. **_**Who are you?!"**_

"**Ren... stay close to me... stay close to me!" The voice was changing, shifting to a voice that he knew- a voice he remembered from that town at the desert's edge- the town he'd left dead in his wake. The women- the twins who'd run the bar...**

"**Ren!" Ruby cried, and Ren snapped out of whatever trance the being had been attempting to place him under. **

"**Very well... if you won't speak, there are other ways you may assist me," he decided, and he plunged his hand into the hole.**

"Whoa!" Yang jumped in surprise. "Ren's got some balls!"

"Told ya!" Nora crossed her arms in triumph.

"Nora..." Ren whispered into his hand, sounding very exasperated.

"**What- no- stop! Please- stoooooop!"**

**Ren ignored the pleas until he found the odd, handle-shaped object he was looking for- with a single sharp tug, he had his hand back- wrapped around a jawbone.**

**The voice turned into a high, shrill scream. Ren turned and began climbing his way up the ladder. Ruby eagerly reached out and helped him up the last couple rungs. He did not resist and she rushed out of the station, dragging him along.**

"**What **_**was **_**that?" she asked, eyes wide with terror.**

"**A spirit," Ren answered, holding the jawbone. "When the dead talk, it is worth it to listen."**

"So, Ren..." Jaune couldn't help asking, sideyeing his fellow male, "you don't _actually _have a jawbone in your pocket do you?"

"Not since the last time I checked," Ren shook his head.

"**We... we don't have to go down there again, do we?"**

"**No, I believe I got everything of use," Ren assured her. "Some beans, for instance."**

"**That'll be good," Ruby smiled slightly. "...Where are we going?"**

"**After the Woman in Red. She has information I need."**

**Ruby gulped, but didn't protest. "And... after that?"**

"**If all goes well... to the Dark Tower."**

**Ruby eyed him with wonder.**

"Dark Tower... what is the Dark Tower?" Blake pondered.

"And why is Ren after it?" Pyrrha concurred.

"I mean, it's in the title," Ruby pointed out, eager to see whatever this 'Dark Tower' might be.

**They had been walking for most of the day when Ren called a halt. He could see Ruby losing her breath, but didn't mention it, simply ordering a brief halt.**

"**I'm fine!" Ruby insisted, forcing a smile and flexing a bit. "I can keep going!"**

"**I believe you," Ren assured her, "but it's about lunch time."**

**Ruby accepted his judgement, taking a seat on the infinite hardpan and accepting some of Ren's jerky.**

"Hey, Ren, can _I _have some of your-" Yang started, only to take a Nala to the face from an angry-looking Nora. "AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHH! SHE'S CLAWING OFF MY _FAAAAAAACE!"_

"NALA!" Crazy called quickly. "Nala, here kitty!"

Nala climbed off of Yang's face and hurried over to him, cuddling up and purring up a storm.

**Ren reflected on his internal promise from the previous night- the promise to tell Ruby about his journey through that town. "You told me a story last night, Ruby... I believe it's about time I tell you one of mine."**

"**A story?" Ruby asked, her eyes gleaming. "Oooh, that's so cool- I'm sure you've got some great stories- you look like a great hero!"**

**Ren smiled sadly. "I'm no hero, girl... as you'd understand if you heard what happened when I was in the town at the edge of the desert."**

**Ruby looked at him eagerly as she nibbled at her jerky. When he still hadn't spoken after a long moment, she finally said, "I... I'm thinking you're not gonna tell me if I don't ask, so... will you tell me what happened in the town?"**

**Ren nodded. "Yes... yes I will."**

**And, he found, once he'd started, he was hard-pressed to stop until the story was done.**

"...I'm nervous," Ruby admitted.

"Yeah... after all the build-up, can't say I blame you," Yang confessed, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder.

**The camera rose up to they sky, focusing on the sun- when it panned back down, it was looking at the quintessential sleepy western town, church, saloon, and all. Into it was riding Lie Ren, atop a tired old mule.**

"Ohhh, classy!" Nora smiled.

"Ninjas are better, change my mind," Blake muttered.

**Ren looked around through squinted eyes as he 'moseyed on into town,' as the books would say. Near the edge of town was a corral being run by an old man watching him with eyes similarly squinted against the sun.**

**Ren rode over to him and dismounted. "Long days and pleasant nights, may it do you fine," he greeted, tipping his hat.**

"**And may you have twice the number," the corral-keeper nodded back, albeit looking somewhat reluctant. **

"**How much to keep my mule for a few days?"**

**The man narrowed his eyes. "...Thirty lien."**

**Ren nodded, reaching into his pocket and tossing over a gold piece. The man eyed it suspiciously, bit into it, and seemed to find it satisfactory- though he still didn't smile. "I have no change for gold."**

"**I've asked for no change," Ren pointed out, before continuing on to the saloon. The man waited until he was safely out of sight, then spat after him.**

"Wow, rude!" Ruby commented.

"He thinks Ren is a snobby outsider with too much gold to burn," Pyrrha guessed sadly.

"Hmm... I was never that well off in real life," Ren noted.

"You've got me, though!" Nora beamed. Ren allowed himself a small smile as he accepted her hug.

**Ren headed towards the saloon, and stepped through the butterfly doors without a second thought.**

**It was crowded inside, but hardly anyone seemed to pay attention to him initially. Only four people even seemed to acknowledge his presence- the two women behind the bar, one in white, the other in red- the woman playing a song on the piano (Hey, Jude, if he wasn't mistaken,) and a remarkably tall man sitting at one of the tables, with a thick beard and moustache, covered in the grime of whatever drugs he was chewing- Ren could practically smell it from here.**

"Hey- those are the people from the night club!" Yang recalled.

"The one you smashed up?" Ruby crossed her arms and gazed at her through half-lidded eyes.

"Er..."

"And did _that _to the-" Weiss started disapprovingly, but Crazy interrupted.

"Hat of Discipline! Never happened!"

"And... that girl at the piano... I believe she's Emerald- she's on Cinder's team," Pyrrha noted, her gaze hardening.

"Well, if she's on Cinder's team, she's someone to watch out for," Jaune decided, taking her in closely.

**Ren made his way over to the bar, and took a seat. The twins looked at him with some interest. "We haven't seen you around here," the one in white noted. "I'm Melanie- she's Miltia. What'll you have, stranger?"**

"**What sort of meat do you have?" Ren asked.**

"**We have burgers," Miltia answered through narrowed, suspicious eyes. "If you can pay, of course."**

**Ren nodded, reached into his pocket, and produced another gold piece. "Here- I'll take four."**

_**That **_**caught the attention of the people in the saloon- four burgers? **

"Wow, Ren's got an appetite on him here!" Yang commented.

"Is that so strange?" Blake pointed out. "We don't know when he ate real meat last, and _he _doesn't know when he'll get the chance again."

**The twins eyed the piece. "...We don't have change for gold."**

"**I've asked for no change," Ren pointed out again. "I'll take some beer, if you have that."**

"**That... can be accomplished," Melanie agreed, taking the piece.**

"**And bread for the meat?"**

"**No bread," Miltia scoffed. Ren could tell she was lying, but decided to push his luck no further.**

"Why is everyone in this town so _meeaan?" _Nora whined.

"Flagrant shows of wealth are hardly the best way to form friends," Weiss noted. She paused when everyone turned to stare at her. "...What?"

**As the twins turned and began rolling patties for the grill, a crude shouting and guffawing came from the outside- slowly, Ren turned to see a ragtag band of goons harassing his mule- and the girl who seemed to be the corral-keeper's daughter.**

**He reached into his pouch for a pipe and lit it up. "Melanie," he pondered aloud, "Trouble-makers?"**

"**The worst," Miltia snorted on her sister's behalf. "The absolute **_**worst **_**this town has to offer!"**

**Ren nodded, and rose to his feet. "Is there an undertaker in this town?"**

**The twins blinked at each other. "Er... yes?"**

"**Tell him to prepare... three coffins."**

"Wait... is he gonna do what I think he's gonna do?" Ruby asked, uncertain whether to be startstruck or horrified.

Nora had no such hang-ups. "Oh, yeah- break their legs!"

"Nora... please," Pyrrha whispered.

**Ren stepped back out into the heat just as his mule came careering past him in an effort to escape the troublemakers. Ren watched him go, then continued on towards the corral.**

**The goons turned to sneer at him. "Well, look what we got here?" the lone female opened. "Some momma's boy outta the east lookin' to make a name fer imself amongst us humble country folk!"**

**Ren removed the pipe from his teeth. "What you do in your own town is none of my business," he admitted. "But... I'm here on behalf of my mule, you see. All this cackling and hooting... she's sensitive, she gets this crazy idea you're **_**picking **_**on her."**

Yang cracked her knuckles eagerly, waiting for the payoff.

Ren sighed heavily.

Blake was just as excited as Yang, though she did a decent job at hiding it.

"**The hell you talkin' 'bout?" sneered a fourth goon Ren hadn't seen before- also female. **

"**I merely think it would be a show of good faith to... apologize to her," Ren suggested. "I'm sure she'd appreciate it a great deal-"**

**As one, all of the four goons drew their weapons- no guns, that were so rare in these days, but knives- and prepared to throw.**

**Before any of them could throw, Ren had reached down to his waist, pulled his gun, and fired four times. The fourth goon was dead before the first hit the ground.**

**The young woman they'd been surrounding looked at him with her mouth in a perfect O shape. Ren casually reloaded his gun, then turned back towards the saloon.**

**He walked all the way back to his seat in silence, then returned his pipe to his teeth. "Four coffins- my mistake," he apologized.**

The twins' reaction matched that of the audience- wide-eyed shock.

"Damn," Yang whistled. "Wouldn't want to be on _this _guy's bad side!"

"Ren... you're so... COOL!" Nora cheered.

"Quite the western hero," Blake acknowledged, momentarily forgetting her bias in favor of ninjas.

"I... do wish there was a more peaceful solution," Pyrrha admitted, "but... in this world..."

"A world that has moved on," Ren agreed. "I understand."

"**You're a gunslinger," Melanie stated- did not ask. **

"**I am," Ren nodded. **

**Everyone in the saloon was staring at them, and slowly, many people seemed to decide they'd be best suited to eat or drink another day, slowly filing out. The dark-skinned woman on the piano was last to leave, throwing an ugly glance back at them. Now the only people present were Ren, waiting on his food, the twins, preparing it, and the tall man with the beard, gazing absently into space and chewing on those odd drugs.**

"**You've chased away our business!" Miltia accused.**

"**All the better for us to talk," Ren decided. "I need information- and I'm willing to pay handsomely for it."**

**The twins looked at each other, then to this odd man who'd suddenly turned the town upside down over the course of ten minutes. **

"**What would you hear?" Melanie asked.**

"**You can start with what happened to that man over there," Ren suggested, glancing at the hulking bear of a man. "I could see from my first glance that there's something wrong."**

"I'd say so," Yang nodded. "He seems so... empty."

"**I'd say not," Miltia snorted. "He's dead."**

And just like that, everyone's attention was drawn. "_Dead?" _Ruby gasped, glancing at her sister. "Yang, you didn't-"

"Of course not! We already saw me in this world, remember!" Yang reminded her- she was shocked as well. Even at her worst, she hadn't wanted to _kill _Jr.

"**Dead?" Ren asked, quirking a brow. **

"**A drug overdose," Miltia explained, a note of sorrow entering her voice. "He was... our uncle, and the original owner of this saloon. Hei Xiong, but everyone called him Jr. And about a month ago... he came in, more... out of it than usual... he started throwing up, and just... fell into his own vomit and didn't get back up."**

**Ren nodded as if this story didn't surprise him. "I've seen many people succumb to devil-weed before. But still... he seems rather alive now."**

"Yes, that's what _I _was wondering!" Weiss put in. "They say he's dead, but he's right there! Alive! Clear as day!"

"**That... that's because of... the woman in red," Melanie whispered.**

**Ren didn't shake- he'd expected as much. He looked up. "So she **_**was **_**here..."**

"**It's her you're after, isn't it?" Miltia guessed. "She looked like she was running away from something."**

"**Aye," Ren nodded. "I'll not rest until I have her in my grasp."**

**Melanie looked up at Jr. "We were... we brought him in to... to get him ready for his funeral. But halfway through, **_**she **_**came riding into town... that dark hair... those eyes... I'm not sure she was a woman at all. I don't think any human could look like **_**that, **_**with those **_**eyes...**_**"**

"**You're not the first to question her humanity," Ren assured them.**

"Got that right!" came a voice from the door- everyone turned to see George coming in. "Nothing human about her!"

"I believe it," Yang said harshly, recalling how the woman had masterminded her sister's death in the road.

"**She... did something to him," Melanie shuddered. "She... brought him back, but... he's been wrong ever since. There's something in his eyes..."**

**Ren met their eyes directly as they at last placed his burgers on his plate. "I would hear more of her, if you're willing to tell."**

**The twins gazed at him. "...You really think you can catch her?" Miltia asked.**

"**I'll catch her," Ren nodded.**

**The twins glanced at each other, then to him. "We'll tell you all we know," Melanie began.**

"**For a price," Miltia finished.**

"**I have gold."**

"**Not gold," Melanie shook her head. "We... have an itch... that we haven't been able to scratch lately... if you get my meaning."**

**Ren got her meaning all too well.**

"Wait, are they saying-" Nora began, but silenced herself when she saw the grim nods everyone else was giving- except for Ruby. "Aw, HELL NAW!"

"Why?" Ruby wondered. "Can't he just scratch their backs real quick and-"

Yang slammed her hands over Ruby's ears, Weiss covered her eyes.

"You can see this next part when you're older," they said in unison.

Everyone else was busy restraining Nora from attacking the screen. "Oh no you don't, bitches, he's miiiiiine!"

**Night fell, and Ren gave them what love he had to give, in their chambers above the saloon. He couldn't truly, purely love him- his capability to do so had disappeared with Nora, his one, true, only love-**

Suddenly, Nora stopped struggling and collapsed back into her seat, looking taken aback-

**And so it was by imagining her that he got through the night, imagining the sweet scent of her, the kind, wild eyes beneath the orange hair. Rarely did he shed tears, but that night brought him mightily close.**

Now Nora was crying. "I... I won't ever leave you, Renny! I hope you know that!"

Ren wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Of course I do, Nora... of course I do."

**At last, he brought things to an end, looking up at the ceiling.**

"**You're very good," Miltia commented. "What is it you want to know?"**

"**What did she do, before she moved along? Where did she go?"**

"**She... performed a ritual... she spit into his eyes, leapt over him with this odd chant... shadows covered the sky... and then... he got to his feet, he started talking, wondering what we were all doing."**

"**There was something wrong with him, we all knew it," Miltia muttered. "But... what could we do? We got our uncle back."**

Ruby and Yang glanced at each other, wondering how they'd feel if Cinder had done something similar with Summer.

"**Where did she go afterwards?" Ren asked.**

"**We... we don't know," Melanie admitted. "She was gone before we knew it- she left us a letter."**

"**Nothing that told us where she was going," Miltia clarified quickly. "It... it was a challenge."**

"**A challenge?" Ren asked, **reflecting the audience's feelings. **"How do you mean?"**

**They held their breath for a while, then Melanie answered. "Do you... what do you believe happens after we die, Gunslinger?"**

"**I'm afraid I have no knowledge of such things," Ren shrugged.**

"**We've always wondered ourselves," Miltia explained. "It's been... a point of fascination for us... all our lives. And what she offered... was a chance to learn."**

"**The letter told us," Melanie picked up the narrative, "that she left a password, of sorts, in Jr.'s head- if we say it to him, he'll remember everything he saw while he was dead... and he'll tell us."**

"**What is this password?" Ren asked immediately.**

"**...Nineteen," Melanie recalled with a shudder. "'Nineteen is the door to the secret- nineteen **_**is **_**the secret. Nineteen is the key and holder of the secret.' That's what she said."**

"**Do you make anything of it, Gunslinger?" Miltia asked.**

"**No... but I know what to do with it," Ren answered. "Nothing. The woman in red delights in traps and cruel torments- never speak that word in his presence. Pretend that the number doesn't exist- train yourself to believe that ten and nine is twenty, if you must. Do **_**not **_**use that password."**

"**We know," Melanie nodded, "but... it has a terrible pull..."**

"Cinder granted them Pandora's Box," Blake whispered hollowly. "Eventually, they _will _open it up and look inside."

**Ren stood. "Do you know anything about where she went?"**

"**She... not exactly, but we know she went to our mother before leaving," Melanie explained. **

"**Your mother?"**

"**The town priestess," Miltia snorted. "Sylvia Malachite. If there's anyone who knows where she went, it'll be-"**

**The door crashed open, and Ren spun around to find the woman who had been playing the piano rushing in with a knife. "YOU WON'T FIND HER!" she screamed wildly as she rushed forward with the blade.**

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM, YOU BITCH!" was the rallying cry from the audience- some used a little less profanity than others, but that was the general gist.

**They had no need to worry- before the Malachites had fully registered what was happening, Ren had seized Emerald and twisted the knife from her hand, sending her to the floor with a broken wrist.**

"**You... you BASTARD! YOU BROKE MY ARM!"**

"And you tried to kill him!" Nora spat.

**Ren, however, had concerns of his own- his eyes narrowed in barely concealed anger. "I thought I recognized you... Emerald Sustrai."**

**Everyone halted, watching him as the temperature in the room seemed to drop by several dozen degrees. **

"**You-" Emerald started, but before she could speak further, Ren had his gun out, aiming directly between her eyes.**

"**I should kill you right now," he said. That was the terrifying thing- he didn't hiss the words, didn't yell them, didn't so much as raise his voice- but what came out was far more terrifying than if he'd done any of the above. "On the name of Nora Valkyrie, I should kill you now..."**

"Is she... is she the one who killed me?" Nora asked.

"Kinda... it's a tad more complicated than that," Crazy shrugged. They turned towards George in hopes of more explanation, but he didn't seem to know much more than they did.

**Slowly, however, Ren lowered the gun. "But no. For now, I'll show you the mercy she never got to see. But consider this your final warning. If I see you again... I will kill you."**

**The Malachite sisters watched with mixed awe and terror as Ren began to dress himself. **

"**When the sun rises, I'll speak to your mother... I'm sure she'll cooperate. By tomorrow night, I'll be gone, and your customers ought to return."**

**Everyone stared as he made his exit.**

"Ren... what happened to you in this world?" Jaune wondered.

"I find myself wondering much the same," Ren admitted.

**The next day dawned, and Ren traveled to the church, just as promised. He happened to enter as the woman at the front- Sylvia Malachite, he supposed- was concluding her sermon.**

"**AND WHO IS IT THAT BRINGS DESTRUCTION TO ALL THAT HE TOUCHES?!" she was screaming.**

"**THE INTERLOPER!" her congregation cried.**

**Ren watched in silent fascination- Sylvia Malachite was quite the large woman, for the desolate area in which she lived. Some may have found it attractive- he no longer had time or mind for such things. Her skin was surprisingly pale as well, considering the town's proximity to the desert, her hair a dark sort of blond.**

"**WHO IS IT YE SHALL SHUN SHOULD HE EVER ATTEMPT TO POISON YOU WITH HIS LIES?!"**

"**THE INTERLOPER!"**

"**WHO IS IT WE SHALL RIGHTLY STRING UP FROM THE TOP OF THIS CHURCH ONCE WE CLAP EYES UPON HIM?!"**

"**THE INTERLOPER!"**

"**I SEE THE TRUTH RESONATING WITHIN YOU ALL! WE SHALL TAKE COMMUNION!"**

**Ren watched as they passed around a dark drink that didn't quite smell like wine, and some rather stale bread. The act of communion somehow didn't seem quite so holy in this house as when he'd seen it take place in his homeland of Kuroyuri.**

Blake shivered again. "More White Fang flashbacks?" Yang guessed, rubbing circles between her shoulderblades.

"Yes... uncomfortably familiar," she muttered.

**Ren waited until all the congregation had left to approach. "Quite the rousing speech," he noted as he stepped between the pews. "Sylvia Malachite, I presume?"**

**Sylvia turned to gaze at him, glancing over him witheringly. "You must have spoken to those unholy wretches I call my daughters."**

"**I have spoken to them, and more than," Ren readily admitted. "They told me you may have knowledge of the woman who passed through this town- the woman in the red dress."**

**Sylvia's eyes widened, then she snorted. "**_**You **_**are the man she warned us of? **_**You**_**?!"**

"So... they're calling Ren the interloper?" Jaune pieced together, suddenly not liking where this was going at all.

"Cinder told them he was some sort of... servant of evil, to be shunned or killed if he ever appeared," Pyrrha nodded with dawning horror.

"**I would presume so." If Ren was frightened by this revelation, he didn't show it. "I assure you, I bear no ill will towards these townspeople. All I seek is the woman in red. Tell me where she went, and I shall be on my way this very eve."**

**Sylvia stepped backwards behind the pew, as if reaching for something. "She told me... **_**exactly **_**what to do, if you should come-"**

"**Don't even think about it," Ren interrupted, drawing his gun before she could reach for the one behind the podium. He kept the gun trained on her until he'd circled the podium and taken the one she'd been reaching for. "One of her gifts, I presume? Did she bother telling you who I am?"**

**Far from put out, a light had arisen in Sylvia's eyes. "She spoke true... she said that the Interloper would arrive in the form of a gunslinger of old! Some held their doubts, but here is the proof that all she said was true!"**

"**Of course, she may speak the truth when it suits her purposes," Ren nodded, lowering the gun into his pouch. It was far feebler than the guns of Oum he wielded himself, but far safer in his hands than this woman's. **

"Cool as a cucumber!" Nora cheered.

"**Now... where did she go? Across the desert, I know that much, but to where?"**

"**Why should I tell you?" Sylvia hissed. "You, the servant of greatest evil, over the woman who gave us so much?"**

"**Gave you?" Ren paused. "I see. I thought I smelled something unholy here. She gave you a child."**

"**Not hers," Sylvia grinned. "I am chosen by powers greater than you could ever imagine, gunslinger! Chosen to bear the seed of none other than the Red Queen herself!"**

A shudder passed around the audience- even Yang couldn't resist the chill running up her spine. "I... don't like the sound of that."

"**You've been deceived, milady," Ren shook his head solemnly. "Any child of the Red Queen is no child of light. Fear not, however- I can remove it." He produced one of his guns, and a cross, before closing in on her.**

"R...remove it?" Pyrrha faltered. "Does... does he mean..."

"If he's right, it's far better this way than any other," Blake noted grimly.

**Sylvia grimaced, and began to pull away. "You... you dare not touch me."**

"**That all depends on you," Ren warned, removing the shells of the gun one by one. "Where is the woman going?"**

**Sylvia attempted to run, but was cut off by the walls. "You dare not!"**

"**Across the mountains... towards where?" Ren drew closer, cross and gun in hand.**

"**She... she protects me!" Sylvia snarled as Ren knelt down to begin the work. "She will not allow-"**

"**A word from the wise- such as the Woman in Red cares for none but herself. If you seek revenge against anyone, seek it against her... tell me where she's going."**

**Sylvia's eyes rolled up as the gun entered her, and Ren began to chant.**

"**No... no... NOOOOOOOOO!"**

**Ren thumbed back the hammer on his gun as if he intended to shoot. "Last chance."**

"**THE MOUNTAINS! THE MOUNTAINS! SHE'S GOING TO THE MOUNTAINS ACROSS THE DESERT!"**

"**And after that?"**

"**I KNOW NOT! I KNOW NOTHING, NO LEAVE ME-"**

***click.***

"**It is done." Ren straightened up, returning the cross to his neck and his gun to its holster. "You have been cleansed."**

"**You... you monster!" Sylvia hissed.**

"**I have been called far worse, for far greater reason," Ren decided, turning and taking his leave from the church. "Worry not... I'll be gone within the hour."**

"**DAMN YOU!" Sylvia cried. "DAMN YOU TO THE DARKEST CIRCLES OF HELL!"**

**Ren said nothing as he closed the door. **

The audience was shuddering. "That... that was... harsh," Ruby whimpered.

"I'm starting to see why he doesn't necessarily consider himself a hero," Weiss nodded.

"He does what he believes must be done," Ren nodded. "No matter how unpleasant."

**The sun was setting as Ren crossed to the corral. It was dead silent in the town, until he opened the door to find his mule dead upon the ground. **

"This... does not bode well," Pyrrha whispered.

**Ren closed his eyes, and turned to the street.**

**Bit by bit, the people of the town were flooding into the street, all glaring at him. At the very rear were Sylvia Malachite and Emerald Sustrai, no doubt the two who had been touched deepest by the Woman in Red. **

**Screams met his ears- screams that were horrifyingly familiar, as the Malachite sisters were forced to the front of the crowd. "REEEEEN!" Melanie yelled. "WE ASKED HIM! WE ASKED HIM! IT'S HORRIBLE- OH, GODS, SO HORRIBLE- PLEASE, END IT ALL-"**

**The last expressions on their faces was sheer gratitude as he (almost automatically) reached for his guns and shot them once each in the head. Whatever suffering they'd been forced to endure, it was now over.**

"Oh, _Ren..._" Nora whimpered, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

**Sylvia let out a scream like a banshee. "HE IS THE INTERLOPER! HE HAS INVADED OUR TOWN AND MURDERED MY CHILDREN! SEIZE HIM AND BRING ME HIS HEAD!"**

**As one, the town charged.**

**Before he could register any emotions, Ren had his guns out and was firing. **

**As ever, every single shot was a killing blow. **

"This... this is what's haunting him," Blake stated. Nobody challenged her.

**He'd always been the quickest on the draw of his classmates, and he'd steadied his aim greatly over time. One by one, the townspeople fell, but like a hydra, every time one fell, several more took their place.**

**Fortunately, another thing he'd learned from Goodwitch before she'd passed away was how to reload- the trick was simple, but remarkably effective. Neptune had been somewhat more adept, but Ren had learned just fine how to swiftly eject every spent shell and refill his guns within the span of seconds- especially in circumstances such as these, where every second counted.**

**The first time one of his guns ran out, he grabbed the gun he'd taken from Sylvia, counting off each shot until there was one left, then tossing it aside- he had other plans for it.**

**After that, it was all him and the large, wooden-inlaid guns of Oum, mowing down the people of the town like so much grass.**

_**Malachite, **_**some part of him thought. **_**Perhaps if Malachite falls, the others will be willing to listen...**_

**He looked through the crowd, and spied her out, still screaming and thrashing, bug-eyed, as she called for his blood.**

**It would be a trickier shot- they were practically at other ends of the town. However, he'd not missed shot in years- he didn't intend to start now.**

**As he accepted what he needed to do, time seemed to slow down around him, as the words ran through his mind.**

_**I do not aim with my hand... he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye.**_

**He paused to gun down a man who'd gotten uncomfortably close, then returned to his mantra.**

_**I do not shoot with my hand- he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I shoot with my mind.**_

_**I do not kill with my gun- he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father. I...**_

**He said the line aloud. "I kill with my heart."**

**He took the shot, and the bullet passed by every single townsperson until it passed through Sylvia Malachite's skull.**

"That's an... interesting mantra," Blake commented, but said no more- she wanted to see the end of this fight as badly as the others.

**As he had feared, Sylvia's death did not bring the end of the fighting- the fighting did not end until every single person in the town lay dead at his feet- all except Emerald. He looked around, and managed to find her sprinting down the road he'd first entered on- doing everything she could to run away. His eyes narrowed, and he didn't bother reciting his mantra again as he pulled his gun and fired. Almost a full mile away, Emerald screamed and fell to the ground.**

**As he approached her, he dropped his own guns and picked up the one he'd taken from Sylvia.**

**Emerald was whimpering as he approached her, smashing his feet into her legs to break them. He followed by doing the same to her arms. She met each cracking with a loud scream, though there was nobody nearby to hear it other than her tormentor.**

"**HAVE MERCY!" she begged as she rolled over to find the gun aiming directly at her.**

"**I will show you all the mercy you deserve," Ren said, once more speaking in that horribly calm voice. "I will show you all the mercy you showed Nora Valkyrie as she was nailed to that cross."**

**Emerald's eyes widened as she seemed to finally recognize him. "Y...You?"**

"**Me."**

**He produced the gun and dropped it next to her. She looked shocked, wondering if this was some sort of trick- then grabbed it and aimed it at him.**

"**You can kill me, sure," Ren nodded. "But there's only one bullet in that gun. I recommend using it wisely."**

**Emerald shook and trembled beneath his gaze, cold and unflinching. There would be no further mercy here.**

**Slowly, she raised the gun and pressed the muzzle against the roof of her own mouth. One pull of the trigger later, and Ren was alone.**

**With his mule gone, there was nothing else to do but reclaim his own guns and leave town on the other side, heading, at last, into the great desert.**

"That... that was cool... but wrong... at the same time," Ruby said in a very confused tone. She was hardly the only one not quite sure how to feel about what had transpired.

**Neither did the Ruby of that world, as they found when the flashback ended. "So you see," Ren concluded, "I'm no great hero who does no wrong. I do what needs to be done to finish the job."**

"**I... I understand," Ruby said quietly. "But... I still think you're the closest thing to a hero here. You wouldn't have had to do anything you did there... if it weren't for her."**

**Ren was hard-pressed to debate her on the subject. "I suppose that's one way of looking at it, yes."**

**He looked up. "Let's press on. We have some miles to make before nightfall."**

**Ruby agreed, and off they went. **

**Just before the waystation fell over the horizon behind them, Ruby looked back with a smile and a wave. "Goodbye!" she called. "Thanks for helping us!"**

**Ren couldn't help smiling a bit himself before gently guiding her away.**

**Before they did, she asked one more thing. "About your story... who's that Red Queen Ms. Malachite talked about?"**

That same shudder fell upon the audience.

**A shadow seemed to cross Ren's face. "...You don't ever want to know about that."**

The screen cut to black.

"Is... everything so messed up in that world?" Ruby asked.

"Things do get better," Crazy promised. "I'll... give you all a chance to take that in. Come on, George, let's work on that universe of yours."

Everyone watched as Crazy herded out a grumbling George, leaving a ringing silence in their wake.

_XXXX_

Treading some heavy ground here, and I know it, but I'll not cut out some of these critical scenes from the original story. To let me know how you feel, please R&R, don't forget the pole in my profile, and until next time, Gamer4 out!


	12. The Room

Gamer4 in. Happy, happy Halloween- Halloween- Halloween! Happy, happy Halloween, I don't know the rest of the words! In the spirit of my favorite month of the year, let's dive into a very special Halloween saga of Yet Another Multiverse- you'll see what I mean! I've been looking forward to this for a while!

Disclaimer: It's a seeeeeeeecreeeeeet~!

Episode X

The Room

"So... we gonna talk about what just happened?" Yang asked, crossing her arms and tilting her head.

"He was so cool!" Ruby exclaimed with stars in her eyes. They disappeared as she added, "But so scary, too!"

"I understand now why he doesn't consider himself a hero," Pyrrha concluded. "He merely does what needs to be done."

"But why _does _it need to be done?" Blake asked. When everyone turned towards her, she quickly amended, "I'm not being rhetorical, I'm asking for real- why does he need to do all this? What's the Dark Tower, and why does he need to get there so bad?"

"Search me," Nora shrugged. "Ren? Anything sound familiar?"

"I'm afraid not," Ren shook his head.

"Actually, I think I might have heard something," Jaune put forward. "I think one of my sisters talked about a dark tower once- can't remember. Might have been Billie."

"Regardless, unpleasant though that world undoubtedly is," Weiss wrapped up, "I wish to see more. There are many riddles there to be unraveled yet."

"But with Rennie on the case, we'll solve 'em all!" Nora cheered, thumping him on the back.

"Yeah, but I've got a riddle of my own here," Jaune noted. "When did everything get so... dark?"

Everyone looked around with a start. Outside the windows, everything was suddenly pitch black, and the only light inside the room came from pale blue candles inside jack-o-lanterns that hadn't been there a split second ago.

"How did we fail to notice this?!" Weiss asked in exasperation.

Before anyone could answer, quite out of nowhere, a tall, hulking figure in a black hood and cloak appeared, doing an odd dance as it sang in a throaty voice.

"_Boys and girls of every age,_

_Wouldn't you like to see something strange?_

_Come with us and you will see,_

_This our town of Hallo-OOF!"_

Yang had launched herself from the sofa and socked the figure in the sternum. "I've got him!" she called back. "Everybody run!"

"No, no, wait, it's me!" the figure cried, removing its hood to reveal Crazy underneath. "Come on, Halloween is coming up! Everyone's entitled to one good scare!"

"Halloween?!" Ruby cried, eyes turning back into stars.

"Ohh, boy," Yang rolled her eyes as she climbed off of Crazy, heading to take care of her sister. "Here we go."

"It's Halloween out there?" Jaune asked, taken aback.

"Well, in my world, at least," Crazy shrugged as he rose back to his feet and pulled the hood back up. It was very odd, seeing a figure resembling Death itself speaking with Crazy's voice. "We just hit October! When we get to the day itself, we can head out trick-or-treating in the town just up the way! It'll be great!"

"And... in the meantime...?" Weiss asked, almost reluctantly.

"Well, in the meantime-" Crazy started, only to be cut off as the door was slammed open again and two more figures poured in.

"I am the one hiding under your bed!" sang one in fancy dress with a mismatched Voldemort mask. "Teeth grown sharp and eyes glowing red!"

"I am the one hiding under your stairs!" the other threatened from behind a large black coat- clearly not Crazy's. "Fingers like snakes and spiders in my-"

"JAUNE!" Pyrrha screamed as the figures drew too close to her blond crush- she charged them and sent them to the ground.

"Oh, come _on!" _the man in the mask groaned. "Crazy, I blame you for this!"

A moment later, Georgie had removed his mask, standing their in robes resembling Robin of Fire Emblem Awakening.

"My first appearance... and this is what happens..." Black-Coat mourned, lowering his hood to reveal a relatively normal jacket/black beanie combo.

"Who's that?" Ruby asked, glancing at him curiously.

"Stephen Ripfist... at your service..."

"I'm sorry!" Pyrrha apologized quickly as she climbed off of him.

"He's the third member of our little trio," Crazy elaborated as he slid a disk into the player. "He's stopping by for the festivities! To celebrate the season, we're starting up a universe, and we're gonna see it through all the way!"

"A _spooky _universe?" Ruby asked, eyes alight with delight. Behind her, Nora winced.

"Yup!" Georgie nodded. "Picked it myself- and no need to _pay close attention... _because this absolutely _isn't _a world that _could actually happen in your future._"

"...Huh?" Ruby asked, tilting her head in confusion.

"Georgie, you're not trying to tell them about their own future, are you?" Crazy crossed his arms.

"Absolutely _not, _sir!" Georgie slammed a foot on the ground and saluted. "I'm just telling them how _little _this world has to do with _anything _that may or may not occur in their futures!"

Crazy, clearly blind to all forms of sarcasm, brightened up. "Sweet! Well, let's get started!"

He slid a large bowl full of popcorn onto the couch, and everyone gathered, ready to see what was coming at them this time.

**It was a dark and stormy night.**

"What a cliche way to open a horror story," Weiss snorted.

"You say cliche, _I _say classic," Blake objected.

"Oohhh... I wanna get struck by lightning again, Renny!" Nora beamed.

"Maybe when we go trick-or-treating, Nora," Ren suggested.

**The camera focused on a car traveling down a vast dirt road. A small, sleek burgundy Dodge Stratus, kicking up mud as it made its way towards the old farmstead out here, seemingly in the middle of nowhere.**

**It pulled up next to the building, and in its headlights, the title appeared:**

_**The Room**_

"Ominous," Jaune noted.

"I certainly don't get the feeling that anything _good _is coming up," Pyrrha concurred, taking the chance to cuddle up next to him under the pretext of fear. Ruby watched on jealously, wishing she'd thought of that.

**The car's door opened, and an older Jaune stepped out, dressed in his usual hoodie and armor, thought it seemed to have been reforged a time or two since their current day.**

"Georgie," Crazy said warningly.

"Nothing to worry about," George said with an air of confidence. "It's not their world!"

**Jaune looked around, his hair quickly plastering to the sides of his head beneath the rain, and headed into the house. **

**An elderly couple greeted him- a sweet old lady and a grouchy old man. "Oh, you must be Mr. Arc," the plump old woman beamed from beneath her glasses. "We've been waiting eagerly for you."**

"**Gonna put our place on the map, are you?" the man asked grumpily. "Well, I can send you up to your room right quick, I can!"**

"That's... quite the unusual couple," Pyrrha noted with a quirk of her brow.

"It takes all kinds," Jaune shrugged.

"**I suppose you'd like to hear about the spirits that haunt this place," the old woman smiled kindly. "Your room will be right upstairs, where the most deaths have occurred."**

"**I know, that's what I ordered," Jaune nodded wearily. "The key?"**

"Wait, _what?" _Nora wondered. "I know Jaune-Jaune's the fearless leader, but why is he going out of his way to stay in haunted places?!"

"I suspect we'll find out if we continue watching," Ren supplied.

"**Oh, of course," the woman nodded, only to continue blathering. "Some say there are a series of old caves beneath the house, y'know... a creature is supposed to live there that saps a person's will to act..."**

"**I've heard the story before," Jaune nodded, looking down as a small dog wound between his legs. The second the dog sensed his eyes, it turned and dashed away.**

"Oh, cute puppy!" Nora exclaimed brightly.

"Not as cute as Zwei," Ruby huffed.

She hesitated when a new cat appeared- a small kitten, mostly white, except for some orange rings around its tail. It wasted no time in meowing, getting right down to settling on her lap and purring.

"...A close second," she decided, rubbing his ears.

"**Oh, but listen to me blather on," the old woman waved her hand. "Here you go, and please, have a nice sleep!"**

"**Send us some business when you go!" the old man scoffed.**

"**I'll do that," Jaune nodded as he took the key and headed up to his room, which turned out to be a perfectly ordinary affair one would expect from a place like this.**

**He looked around, searching for any gimmicks- speakers, projectors, anything of the like. Satisfied with finding none, he took a cigarette and lighter from his bag, set them on the bedside table, and leaned back on the bed, relaxing.**

**The whole night, nothing happened.**

"Huh... do you smoke, Jaune?" Weiss asked severely.

"No- never have, never will!" Jaune quickly placed a hand over her heart.

"Aw, looking out for our crush's health, little princess?" Yang smirked widely.

"Of course not!" Weiss gave a quick scoff, handily hiding the red forming on her cheeks. "I merely see the downsides of having an effective teammate with such a filthy habit!"

"Whatever you say, Weissy... whatever you say!"

**Jaune left the next day bright and early, thanking them for a good night. On the way home, he spoke into his scroll with its recording function active: "They played it up well, but it was an ordinary night. Applause for not using any tricks, but this is one big nothing-burger. Hmmm... six skulls on the creepy-meter."**

**He turned off the recorder, thought for a moment, then turned it on again. "Actually, screw it- that old man was a douchebag. Five skulls."**

"He seems rather... jaded," Pyrrha noted sadly.

"I wonder if he's gone through something to make him that way?" Blake pondered, oblivious to the fact that she was far from the only one who suddenly had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

**He returned to his apartment, and flicked on the tv. An episode of his show came on- **_**The Ghost Buster. **_**He was just in time to hear the theme song.**

_**Another scary night,**_

_**Another spooky fright,**_

_**And we just might be in danger!**_

_**Well, the ghost is here, and it's always a fake!**_

_**The ghost is here, there's no reason to shake!**_

_**The ghost is here, oh give us a break!**_

_**It's fake!**_

_**Another ghoul attacks,**_

_**Breathing down our backs,**_

_**So we're making tracks for the exit!**_

_**The ghost is here, it's a crook in a suit!**_

_**The ghost is here, it's protecting some loot!**_

_**The ghost is here, oh, give it the boot-**_

_**It's fake!**_

_**It doesn't matter where we go, **_

_**We know,**_

_**Another ghost is gonna show,**_

_**And so,**_

_**We look for the bogus,**_

_**Look for the scam!**_

_**Every time, the ghost is a sham!**_

_**We see an eerie light,**_

_**And if the moon is right,**_

_**We just might sight a monster!**_

_**The ghost is here, it's a frightening task**_

_**To face our fears with the creep in the mask.**_

_**The ghost is here, there's no reason to ask-**_

_**It's fake!**_

**Accompanied by this song were several clips of Jaune exploring allegedly haunted places, always in search of some sort of afterlife, always inevitably disappointed. He sighed and turned it off, crashing in his own bed and quickly beginning to snore.**

"Yeah... definitely jaded," Jaune agreed, rubbing at the back of his head nervously.

"So he wants to find ghosts... to know that there's an afterlife?" Nora asked, her voice suddenly quavering. "Does... does that mean..."

She didn't finish- she didn't really need to.

**As he slept, he recalled the last time he'd seen his friends- Team RWBY, Nora... Ren... another world, another life...**

"But not Pyrrha?" Ruby wondered, then winced as the realization washed over her as well.

"Not... not me?" Pyrrha asked, wide-eyed. "So... the reason he's looking for ghosts..."

Jaune tightened his grip on her, while Crazy was back to eyeing George suspiciously- he glanced away, whistling innocently.

**When he woke the next day, he went down to the beach. The coast of Vacuo, where he was staying, had some very fine beaches, if he did say so himself, and he'd be remiss not to go out and surf every now and again.**

**Surfing was therapeutic for him- it was something he'd taught to himself, something that didn't remind him... remind him of her.**

"Jaune... do you need to talk?" Pyrrha asked gently.

Jaune seemed to be stiffening up, but he shook his head. "Maybe... maybe later."

**The waves started off rather gentle, but as he continued to paddle around, they started getting larger and larger- fine by him. Finally, he caught a **_**really **_**good one- perhaps the best he'd caught all day- he was keeping his balance very well until he spotted a fellow surfer- a tall woman with red hair. **

**Suddenly, he was losing his balance, falling into the water and sinking like a stone. He thrashed around, struggling to make his way back to the surface.**

"No, Jaune!" Ruby and Pyrrha squealed as one- everyone else was suddenly tensing up.

**At last, he felt wet sand at his back, coughing up seawater as he looked into a bright blue sky. A young man rushed over to him. "Hey- hey, you all right there?" Jaune wearily raised a hand to signal that he was as he rose to his feet and staggered off towards the post office. He'd had enough fun for today.**

"After a scare like that, I'd hope so!" Weiss concurred, doing her best to hide how panicked she herself had been.

**He collected his mail and headed to get lunch at a corner-store café. He flicked through the envelopes one by one. Bill... insurance... His eyes fell on a letter with all the signs of being written by Nora, down to the pink card it had been sent in. **

_**Happy birthday, Jaune-Jaune! It's been too long- Ren and I are still together, and we met up with Team RWBY, and we were wondering if we could stop by to celebrate! It's been so long since we saw you last, and-**_

**He dropped the card to the side, ignoring the six signatures that filled the card. His heart ached... but he couldn't speak to his friends. Not as he was now.**

"He's so... so saaaaaaad!" Nora wailed, blowing her nose on Ren's shoulder. He sighed and grabbed a paper towel to wipe it clean.

**Next up was a postcard with a picture of Vale on it- he recognized it very well, despite his extended stay inVacuo. In particular, it featured the Austin Hotel- a place he'd heard of but never visited. He turned it over in an effort to find who had sent it to him, but there was no name or address- only a warning written in a hand steady and immaculate.**

_**Don't go in 1408.**_

"Ominous," Weiss huffed. "No doubt the hotel knows of his reputation and merely wants his endorsement, as that old couple did!"

"Or... that's what we're supposed to think," Blake suggested, sounding more ominous than the letter itself.

**Jaune turned it over another couple times, as if hoping a name would appear out of nowhere, but naturally, no such thing happened. A thought occurred to him- the corners of his mouth twitched as he produced a pen and scribbled beneath the warning.**

_**1+4+0+8=13.**_

"**Heh... nice touch." More of a scoff than a laugh, but it was something.**

"What's significant about 13?" Pyrrha wondered.

"You don't know?" Ruby asked, aghast. "It's an unlucky number- it's like... like walking under a ladder! Or breaking a mirror! Or crossing a black ca... er... sorry, Blake."

Blake rolled her eyes. "Essentially, thirteen is for Vale what the number four is for Mistral," she explained succinctly.

"Oh- I see," Pyrrha nodded.

**Jaune excused himself and headed to his car. Once he was safe in its silence, he searched for a number on his scroll, and called up the hotel in question.**

"**It's a wonderful day here at the Austin hotel, how can I help you?" a cheery woman on the other side asked after a couple rings.**

"**I'd like to book a room for next week," he requested.**

"**Absolutely, sir, we have several openings- the entire seventh floor will be open from-"**

"**Actually, I'd like to request a specific room," Jaune interrupted. "1408."**

**For a long moment, the woman remained silent. When she spoke, her enthusiasm sounded far more fabricated than it had before. "I'm sorry, sir, that room is unavailable."**

**Jaune blinked. "Okay... a month from now would work, too."**

"**Sir... the room is unavailable. May I recommend-"**

"**You drive a hard bargain- how about next year?"**

"**Unavailable."**

"**I'll just take it whenever it's open-"**

***click.***

**Jaune looked at his scroll in surprise- the woman had simply hung up on him.**

"Well, I believe we can safely say that _something's _up with the room," Ren decided.

"Aliens?" Nora suggested lightly.

"I don't believe so," Weiss crossed her arms. "It sounds so much like a front for something- perhaps-"

"It was a common tactic used in the old days to keep faunus out of hotels," Blake suggested. "Of course, that doesn't explain why she was happy to offer him any other room- or why she'd be playing that card on him at all."

"It's a publicity stunt, I'm sure of it," Weiss insisted.

"Oh, Ice Queen," Yang rolled her eyes. "Your problem is a lack of imagination!"

"I'd _like _to believe it's a publicity stunt," Pyrrha noted solemnly, "but... somehow..."

"Yeah," Jaune agreed. "I don't think so either."

**Jaune returned to his apartment and began browsing the internet for anything he could find in regards to the Austin Hotel- it seemed like a perfectly ordinary establishment. He started by attempting to book the room online- only for the link to 404. Every other room request went through just fine, but the website seemed intent on keeping him out of that room in particular.**

"I dunno, Weiss," Ruby piped up. "Rigging the website seems a bit far to go over a publicity stunt..."

"The harder it is to book the room, the more they'll be willing to pay!" Weiss insisted, though she was sounding steadily less certain of herself.

**He noticed something strange- most articles about the hotel seemed to be normal, but there were some, every now and again, that stood out as strange...**

**He did all the research he could, printing it out into files, then moved to get in contact with Weiss- the only person he had much contact with anymore. She funded his show, thought even in her case, he kept it to video or phone calls most of the time.**

"I... I see." Weiss sounded newly uncomfortable. "Well... I am happy that... I'm able to be there... in his time of need..."

Pyrrha's eyes blazed, while Ruby looked more like a kicked puppy. "Not... not me?"

"**Oh, Jaune! I received your report on the house in the middle of nowhere- we should be ready to begin filming in-"**

"**Weiss... what do you know about the Austin Hotel?"**

"**Austin? Only that it's a hotel in Vale, supposedly one of exceptional quality. Why?"**

"**I've got a new lead- room 1408. Looks like it could be interesting."**

"**Hmm... this is my first time hearing about this. Have you contacted them?" **

"**They refused to let me reserve that room- even the website 404s when I try."**

"**...That's unusual. Let me make some calls."**

"Looks like someone's still pulling some strings for her buddies, eh?" Yang waggled her eyebrows and nudged a very unamused Weiss.

**About half an hour later, Weiss called back. "Okay, here is what I've found- yes, the manager of the Austin has made it a policy not to allow anyone inside room 1408. Personally, I believe this is part of some scheme, though I can't see the endgame. However, as I was able to remind him, it is enshrined in the kingdom's law that any room that is specifically requested must be provided, unless, of course, it's already occupied. 1408 is not."**

"**That's a law?"**

"**To prevent anti-faunus discrimination, but it applies well here. Perhaps that's even at the root of whatever scam he's pulling... I wouldn't doubt it."**

"**Do you know this guy?"**

"**...You'll see. I managed to get you a reservation for the day after tomorrow."**

"Whoohoo!" Ruby cheered. "Go, Weiss!"

"I suspect we'll be significantly less glad before this is over," Ren speculated.

"**But Jaune... are you sure you want to come back here? Everyone else-"**

"**They don't need to know," Jaune cut her off. "One night- in and out. Nobody gets hurt."**

"**If you say so, Jaune... if you say so."**

"He really doesn't want to see us, does he?" Nora pondered sadly.

"Don't worry, Nora... I'd never do that in real life," Jaune assured her, but they couldn't help recalling George's rather heavy-handed hint that this _was _a potential future.

**The next shot wasted no time showing Jaune entering a rather lavish building, with a polished hardwood floor covered by an elegant red rug. Business seemed to be going well as Jaune headed across the floor- they certainly weren't hurting for customers.**

**Out of nowhere, a bellboy appeared before him with a solid Spanish accent. "Can I take your luggage, sir?"**

"**No, thank you, I can handle myself," Jaune inclined his head politely before finding a line to check in.**

Yang let out a long whistle. "Faaaaaan-cy! I can see myself staying at a place like that!"

"You clearly haven't seen the hotels of Atlas," Weiss noted.

"Coin for the jar, missy!" Ruby pouted, raising a jar. Weiss rolled her eyes and tossed one in.

"Er..." Jaune raised an eyebrow.

"Her 'Weiss-being-prissy' jar," Blake elaborated under her breath.

**Jaune finally reached the head of the line to be checked in by a friendly-looking black gentleman with a pair of vulpine ears. "Good evening, sir, do you have a reservation?"**

"**Yes- you'd find it under A for Arc?"**

"**A...r...c..."**

**The man hesitated- a warning had appeared on the screen. **_**Summon manager before check-in.**_

"**Would you please wait a moment, sir?" he apologized quickly before turning and hurrying off.**

"**Sure... go ahead..."**

"Hmm... Weiss seemed to have a bit of a grudge against the manager... who could it be?" Nora pondered.

"I have... a suspicion..." Weiss admitted. "I just hope that I'm- oh, really!"

They all turned eagerly to see

**a tall man with snow white hair and cold blue eyes hurrying out of a room. Jaune seemed to recognize him as well. "Oh, boy..."**

"Whitley," Weiss hissed.

"Whitley?" Blake asked, surprised.

"My younger brother- a little squit if there ever was one," Weiss rolled her eyes. "He's stuck-up, arrogant, prissy..."

"And you weren't?" Crazy suddenly piped up.

"...What?"

"You were able to get away from your father and grow into who you are now- why should we dismiss him so quickly?"

"But... he... he's like-" Weiss stammered.

"He's younger than you are, and hasn't had the chances you have to get out from under Jacques's thumb and form his own views that you have," Crazy pointed out. "Shouldn't we give him such a chance before abandoning him like that?"

George placed a hand on Crazy's shoulder, shaking his head gently. Crazy's eyes widened, he nodded, and mimed zipping his lips.

Based on Weiss's sudden silence, he'd already said enough.

"**Ah, Mr. Arc!" Whitley greeted as he approached. "It's been far too long!"**

"**Not the way **_**I'd **_**put it," Jaune rolled his eyes.**

"**You have all your wit intact- wonderful," Whitley maintained his smile. "You've been through quite a lot, and I personally consider it wonderful that my fine establishment should be visited by such a well-known huntsman as yourself."**

"That sounds pretty suck-upish," Pyrrha noted, "but... it's also how Weiss greeted me, so..."

"**In fact, we're so glad to have you that we'd like to offer a complimentary upgrade to the penthouse suite, how does that sound?"**

"Well, whatever his reasons, he's sticking to his guns on keeping Jaune away from the room," Ren noted.

"**I appreciate the offer-" he didn't sound all that appreciative- "but I'll stick to the room I reserved."**

"**Are you quite certain, sir? It has many amenities- easy access to the rooftop swimming pool, the finest view in the city-"**

"**1408," Jaune insisted.**

**Whitley pursed his lips and nodded as if this was what he'd expected. "I see. Mr. Arc, if you could please step into my office for a moment?"**

**Jaune reluctantly agreed, following him into a large office room. **

"**Do you smoke?" Whitley asked, sitting behind his desk and producing a box of some clearly high-quality cigarettes.**

"**I don't," Jaune shook his head. **

**Whitley tilted his head, noting the cigarette tucked behind Jaune's ear. Jaune followed the gaze, and the corner of his mouth twitched. "A lucky cigarette, I guess you could say."**

"**Surely, you drink, though?" Whitley produced a bottle of even more clearly high-class wine. **

"**Of course, have you **_**seen **_**the show I run?" Jaune muttered.**

"Another snarky Jaune!" Yang whooped. "I kinda like these ones!"

Blake nodded mutely.

"**Well, in that case..." Whitley poured him a glass and slid it over the desk to him.**

**Jaune took a seat and took a drink. "Ah... good year."**

"**Keep it," Whitley offered. "Compliments of the house."**

"**Nice bribe," Jaune complimented, "but I'm still going up there."**

**Whitley sighed deeply. "Mr. Arc-"**

"**You can cut the crap," Jaune interrupted. "You know who I am, I know who you are."**

"**Alright... **_**Jaune,**_**" Whitley finally said after a pause. "Why are you so intent of brushing me aside when I am, to the best of my ability, genuinely trying to help you?"**

"**Because that's not what you do," Jaune crossed his arms. "I still remember Atlas."**

"**As do I, but I have learned a great deal since then," Whitley countered gently. "My father going near bankrupt likely had something to do with it, but as you can see, I've managed to land on my feet... so to speak."**

"Clearly, something happened that we aren't privy to," Ren noted.

"Heheh... _privy,_" Ruby snorted.

"**Tigers don't change their stripes," Jaune glowered.**

"**You were swift enough to offer forgiveness to a former terrorist," Whitley pointed out. "However... that is quite beside the point. If you insist on thinking the worst of me, then cogitate on this- it's not really you I'm trying to help. It's not even the hotel. Personally, selfishly, I don't want to have to clean up the mess."**

"He seems pretty sure that that room is bad news," Ruby noted.

Weiss didn't speak, but she was starting to be sure of the same.

**Jaune didn't seem to take it quite so seriously. "Come on, Whitley, we both know how this is going to go- you go through playing up how 'spoopy' the room is, I head up there, have a super 'spoopy' night, make an episode about it, and you boost your sales."**

"**You were out there a moment ago, you know we don't need that.," Whitley pointed out. "The only benefit I would gain from you doing an episode on us would be seeing a review of this hotel prefaced by that song of yours."**

"**So you've done your research?"**

"**As I hope you've done yours. You **_**are **_**aware of how many suicides there have been in that room, are you not?"**

"S-suicides?" Pyrrha stammered.

"That must be what he was researching earlier," Blake recalled.

"**Fifteen," Jaune answered promptly. "Five window jumpers, eight hangings, and two overdoses."**

"**And did your research happen to turn up the twenty-three natural deaths?" Whitley pressed.**

"**N...natural deaths?" Jaune asked, caught off guard.**

**Whitley nodded. "All told, there have been thirty-eight deaths in 1408. My personal favorite is the man who drowned in his chicken soup."**

"**Chicken soup?" Jaune asked disbelievingly.**

**Whitley reached down, pulled out a large scrapbook, opened it and flicked through it, and finally turned it and pushed it over, revealing a photo of a man who had, indeed, drowned in a bowl of chicken soup.**

"**...How did he do that?"**

"**How, indeed?"**

"Okay, starting to feel like this room's a bad idea," Ruby squeaked.

"I doubt Jaune feels the same," Blake lamented. "He refuses to believe.

**Sure enough, Jaune replied with, "Well, you know what they say about an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters..."**

"**I am aware," Whitley nodded, "but that does **_**not **_**account for that accursed room. Mr. A- **_**Jaune**_**\- I've done my own research into what we might call the extranormal or supernatural. It seems that often, disbelief is exactly what can see one through a night in a ghost-ridden castle, but in 1408, a lack of belief will only damn you further. When I watch your show, I sense a man who believes in **_**nothing... **_**least of all himself."**

"A surprisingly deep analysis," Weiss offered credit where credit was due, beginning to wonder if her brother might not be saved after all.

"**Jaune... take the book, do all your research, I'll even rent a room out for you to do all the recording in. 1508 is identical, nobody will be able to tell the difference. We will cooperate with you in any way you see fit... just **_**stay out of 1408.**_**"**

**Jaune tilted his head. "...All that?" he asked, picking up the book.**

"**Absolutely. And don't forget your wine." Whitley pressed his advantage, holding out the bottle, which Jaune took.**

**He nodded, glancing at it. "...Still going in the room, though."**

"**GODDAMN IT!" Whitley cursed, **causing most of the audience to jump, **but not Jaune, who looked more amused than anything.**

"...Okay, _now _I believe he's serious," Weiss finally caved. "He'd never have an outburst like that for a simple scam going wrong."

**Whitley pressed his face into his hand, then finally sighed. "Very well... here. The key." He reached into his pocket and produced a simple bronze key.**

"**Huh- I figured you'd have moved on to cards by now," Jaune noted.**

"**No... no, we have, but electronics don't seem to function properly in 1408. Something about the wiring, I believe, though I'm no expert."**

**Jaune snorted as he turned the key over in his hand. "The ghostie doesn't like electronics, huh?"**

**Whitley met him with a piercing gaze. "I never used the word 'ghost,' Mr. Arc. Ghosts were human once."**

**Jaune snorted again. "Oh, then what **_**is **_**it? A ghoul? Demon? Some grimm that managed to survive the war?"**

"**Nothing like that," Whitley shook his head. "It is, simply put, an evil fucking room."**

Weiss's eyes widened. "He... he really _is _serious..."

The rest of the audience seemed rather uneasy themselves.

**Whitley motioned for Jaune to follow. He led him across the lobby into an empty elevator, miraculously remaining empty as they rode up.**

"**The place must stink, nobody going in there for however long-"**

"**Not at all," Whitley shook his head. "Once a month, I oversee a cleaning- changing sheets, dust, vacuum, that sort of thing. I never go inside myself, I ensure that nobody stays inside for more than ten minutes at a time, and I ensure the door remains open at all times. Coworkers who work well together seem... not **_**immune, **_**but **_**resistant **_**to the effects of... whatever it is. We treat it... as a room full of poison gas, I suppose you might say. Even then..."**

**He hesitated. Jaune silently prompted him to go on.**

"**One of our cleaners got shut in the bathroom for five minutes. We managed to open the door and get her out, but it was too late- she'd gouged out her own eyes. She was screaming about 'those terrible colors.' She later died in the hospital- bit her own tongue to drown in her blood."**

Ruby was shuddering violently. "Why... why don't they close it off, if it's that dangerous?!"

"**And you didn't close it off, even then?" Jaune asked with a raised eyebrow.**

"**I've lobbied for just that several times," Whitley nodded, "but the... higher-ups prefer to pretend there's no problem. Much as they pretend that there's no thirteenth floor."**

**Jaune looked up at the floor-counter, which, sure enough, skipped straight from twelve to fourteen.**

"The numbers add up to thirteen, and it's technically _on _the thirteenth floor..." Pyrrha whispered. "All those deaths..."

**The doors opened. Jaune stepped out, but Whitley remained behind. "This is where we part ways, Mr. Arc- this is as close as I get to 1408, unless it's that time of the month."**

**Jaune snorted as he turned to go.**

**Whitley drew his attention by coughing. "Mr. Arc- **_**Jaune... **_**please. Please, don't do this."**

**Jaune looked back, and simply shook his head.**

**Whitley closed his eyes in resignation. "Nobody's lasted longer than an hour in that room... perhaps, after an hour, you could come down and show me you're alright. I'd like nothing more than to be proven wrong."**

"**I'm staying the night," Jaune insisted.**

"**Alright... good night, then, Mr. Arc."**

**The doors slid shut.**

"This... this isn't gonna be good," Ruby whimpered. Nobody else seemed much better. Nora in particular had chewed through all her own nails and had gotten started on Ren's.

**Jaune moved slowly down the hall- it was silent, but still seemed somewhat pleasant.**

**As he drew nearer to his room, an odd noise met his ears- a decidedly **_**un**_**pleasant warbling that seemed to worm its way into his head, causing his very skull to shake. He looked up and saw a woman pushing a stroller, seemingly oblivious to the noise, pushing her way into room 1410- right next to his room for the night.**

**He looked at the door to room 1408, and abruptly, the noise stopped. He pulled out the key, insisting that he felt no sweat as he pushed the key into the lock.**

**An interesting shot ensued as they bore witness to the inner workings of the lock as it was undone, and the door swung open.**

_XXXX_

CLIFFHANGER! Don't worry, though, we're plowing right through this story in honor of my favorite month! See you next time, and until then, please R&R, any interaction welcome, Gamer4 out!


	13. The Room: Warm-Up

+x Gamer4 in. Huh, Jaune entering room 1408, whose numbers add up to 13, on the thirteenth floor, in the thirteenth chapter, which is posted on October thirteenth? Let's just pretend I'm clever enough to have planned that and move along.

Disclaimer: As you've likely realized by now, this is based on Stephen King's short story, 1408- or, more directly, its film adaptation starring John Cusack and (loosely) Samuel L. Jackson- in my opinion, up there with The Shining and It 2017 in terms of adaptations.

Episode XI

The Room

Warm-Up

Suddenly, the screen cut to a picture of Crazy doing a Russian squat dance, George mimicking Peter Parker from Spider-Man 3, and the new arrival- Stephen, they supposed- doing the Dental Floss.

_Intermission! _It declared.

"CHEEEEEEAAAAAAAP!" Yang and Nora roared as one.

"Sorry, I just remembered some stuff I have to take care of," Crazy apologized. "Georgie, come on- let's let 'em get to know Stephen a bit."

"Try not to kill him," George rolled his eyes as they headed out.

They all looked at the man in the trench coat and beanie. "So... who're you supposed to be?" Yang asked.

"Oh- Shinji Aragaki, from Persona 3," Stephen answered.

"Ah... right."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"Not a bit."

Stephen smiled. "Well, don't worry- I can give you a rundown, starting with Persona Fi-"

"Okay, we're back!" Crazy announced bombastically as he and Georgie returned to the room.

"Oh, come on, I barely got the chance to talk to them!"

"This story ain't about us, Stephen!" Crazy retaliated. "That's what sets us apart from other react fics!"

Georgie snorted. "Keep telling yourself that."

Crazy cleared his throat as he stood before them. "Now, after this point, I feel it would be rude to continue without a word of friendly warning: I _do _believe the remainder of this story will thrill you- _shock _you, perhaps. Even... _horrify _you. If any of you do not care to subject your nerves to such a strain, now is your chance to... well... I've warned you." He smirked evilly.

Georgie rolled his eyes. "Classy, Crazy... very classy."

Stephen had a notebook out and was scribbling in it: "van... Sloan..."

Nora attempted to slink away, but Ren reached out and grabbed her. "We must all face our fears, Nora."

"But Reeeeeeeen..."

"You wouldn't want to abandon Jaune, would you?"

Nora gulped, then returned to her seat, giving Jaune a forced smile. "I'll always be here for you, Fearless Leader!"

Nobody else was making to leave, and so the film continued.

**The door swung open, revealing... a perfectly ordinary hotel room. Jaune stepped in, glancing around, looking thoroughly unimpressed. "...This is it?"**

"I suppose it would be odd for the room to come out swinging," Ren pondered. "Best to lull him into a false sense of security first."

"Don't take away my hope, Renny!" Nora whimpered.

**Jaune stepped in, shut the door behind him, and began settling in. A pretty simple room, all things considered- bedroom, living room, bathroom. He set the key on the coffee table- he took his 'lucky cigarette' and placed in the ashtray.**

**He pulled out his scroll and activated the recording function as he began to poke around, looking in the closets and behind the shower curtain. "Okay, I'll admit, Whitley almost had me going for a minute there... but so much for bone-chilling terror. No so much as a river of blood from the bathtub." He confirmed this by running the tap momentarily and feeling only perfectly ordinary water.**

"He's jinxing it, and jinxing it bad," Ruby whimpered.

"Ruby, for the last time, there's no such thing as jinxing!" Weiss stated in exasperation, just in time for Nala to divebomb her from above and dig her claws into her scalp. "AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

"Nala!" Crazy called quickly. "Here, kitty kitty!"

In a flash, Nala had abandoned Weiss, and was attempting to shove herself down Crazy's throat.

**Jaune rolled his eyes and plopped himself down on the bed. He grabbed a remote and flicked on the tv. He found his way to the adult films and flicked through a few... Harry Twatter... Equals Three-Way... Return to Planet Nipple...**

"**Who comes up with this crap?" he murmured as he turned the tv back off and carelessly tossed the remote over his shoulder.**

"What kinds of movies are those?" Ruby asked, oblivious to Weiss frothing at the mouth, Yang and Nora smirking, the latter looking pointedly at the decidedly red Jaune and Pyrrha.

"We'll tell you when you're older," Yang said quickly. She'd cover her eyes, but... kinda late for that.

"**Better say a few Hail Maries after **_**that,**_**" he muttered, opening a drawer on the bedside table and pulling out the expected bible. He flicked through the pages, finding nothing unexpected, then carelessly dropped it back in the drawer.**

"HOLD IT!" Blake cried, and was surprised to find the words appearing in a large stamp in front of her. In anyone else noticed, they didn't comment.

"What? What is it?" Ruby asked, clearly on edge.

"Go back- focus on that bible!"

Crazy shrugged and rewound a bit- and they all saw what she meant. The words _Holy Bible _were printed on the book's front, but when he dropped it back into the drawer, the words were reversed, inverted... distorted.

"It's begun..." Pyrrha whispered nervously.

**Jaune, however, remained oblivious, heading back into the bathroom, ripping off the end of the fancily-folded toilet paper roll and using it to mop up the little sweat Whitley had managed to rouse with his speech, then tossed it in the bin. Next, he headed over to the kitchen to peruse the room service menu. He snorted. "Sixteen lien for some cashews? Okay, I take it back, this room's evil."**

"Yeesh, you're tellin' me," Yang snorted.

**Jaune sighed as he plopped down on his bed. "Y'know, it should be easy to scare me in one of these places- I've always thought hotels were creepy, to be honest. You never know who was in them before- and I'm not just talking about the old 'dead-body-under-the-bed' gag. Take that stain over there on the carpet, under the floral wallpaper, next to the faux-antique wardrobe. God alone knows where that came from. Mr. Chicken Soup, maybe? Or somebody doing it in the corner, and it just never got cleaned. **

"**Look at that fireplace, right under a picture of a boat lost at sea. What was that story Blake made me read? Arthur Gordon Pymm... I think that was it. It should be an exciting scene, but it's so... boring.**

"**Over there, we've got a teacher reading a story to her children- Ren showed me a painting like that once. I remember the name... The Hands Resist Him. Now **_**that **_**was unsettling.**

"**Finally, a picture of The Hunt, right over my bed. Should be interesting, but after seeing all those stuffy Atlesian elites in real life... it really doesn't do much for me."**

"So... he's been to Atlas?" Weiss wondered.

"I'd like to see the place you came from!" Jaune quickly put in.

Weiss closed her eyes, recalling the screen-Jaune's likely-fully-warranted reaction. "No... you really wouldn't."

"**One of those smartass intellectuals said that evil comes in banal, boring forms far more often than in supervillains. Well, if he was right, then I'm in the eighth circle of Hell... though, I'll admit, it's got its charms."**

Yang burst out laughing. Most of the others could only afford a twitch at the corner of their mouths.

**He recalled the wine he'd gotten from Whitley, currently situated on the bedside table. He stuck it in the fridge, then went to the window. "I've always wondered why places like this bother with windows- it's just your average, depressing city-"**

"_**Out of the tree of life, I just picked me a plum!"**_

Ruby yelped and jumped almost a foot in the air- she was far from the only one. Only Ren seemed to entirely keep his composure- as much as he could, with Nora suddenly using him as a meat shield.

**Jaune jumped as well, hitting his head on the top of the window, before realizing it was the bedside radio/alarm clock combo, suddenly flicking itself on. **_**"You came along and everything started to hum... still, it's a real good bet, the best is yet to come!"**_

**Before he could analyze the radio, he spied another change- the bed he'd just mussed up was back to being perfectly made, complete with two chocolates that had **_**certainly **_**not been there before. "...Okay, credit where it's due, Whitley, that **_**is **_**unsettling."**

"You're telling me," Ruby agreed, teeth chattering as she cowered behind her sister. "I never thought _chocolate _could be so scary!"

"_**The best is yet to come, and babe, won't it be fine? You think you've seen the sun, but you ain't seen it shine!"**_

**Jaune paid the song no mind- the cogs were turning. If the chocolates were here, when they obviously hadn't been before, that meant...**

"**Someone's in the room," he whispered, and nearly kicked down the door to the closet, where there was... nothing. Nothing but some hangers.**

**He dashed into the bathroom and ripped open the curtains- nobody.**

**He would have said 'nothing' as well, if it weren't for the toilet paper roll he'd just started being fully restored, and even folded to its previous standard of fanciness.**

"**Okay... that's bizarre," Jaune admitted.**

"Get out, Jaune, get out while you still can!" Ruby squealed.

"_**Wait 'til the warm-up's underway... wait 'til our lips have met! Wait 'til you see that sunshine day- you ain't seen noth-"**_

**Finally, Jaune switched off the radio- it was distracting him from trying to piece together what was actually going on here. "Okay... okay, it's not impossible. The chocolates on the bed while I was looking out the window, obviously. I go to the closet- a tight bit of time to do the paper trick, but not impossible... and then... he'd have to be in the living room!"**

**He dashed in, only to find the room empty- except for the wardrobe. He advanced slowly, and ripped it open-**

**Nothing.**

"There's nothing to _find, _you idiot!" They were surprised to find Jaune criticizing his own on-screen self. "Listen to Ruby, get _out of there!"_

**Jaune turned around, truly baffled now- only to spot something out of the top corner of his eye. It may have just been his imagination- he certainly hadn't **_**heard **_**anything he'd expect to accompany such a sight- but he thought he'd seen a shadow in that vent up above him. "Hello?" he called out. **

**There was no answer, but Jaune smirked, convinced he'd found the trick. "Try harder, asshole!" he called out. "It's hot enough in here!"**

**This brought him to a realization- it really **_**was **_**rather warm in here. He pulled off his hoodie, revealing-**

The girls all yelped as blindfolds appeared over their eyes. "What is the meaning of this!?" Weiss screeched.

"Sorry, but I'd do it for the ladies. Fair's fair," Crazy shrugged. He kept the blindfolds on until Jaune's shirt had lowered back over his muscles, then removed them. "Okay, we're good!"

Pyrrha and Ruby seemed somewhat put out.

**With his hoodie off, Jaune headed to the thermostat, not far from the room door- sure enough, it was stuck on nearly ninety degrees. He fiddled with it, but it seemed unwilling to change. He groaned and headed to the room's phone, dialing the front desk.**

"**Front desk," a polite woman greeted before a single ring had passed.**

"**This is Jaune Arc, 1408," Jaune began.**

"**Oh, good evening, sir!" the woman seemed to pep up. "Would you like to accept that complimentary-"**

"**No, I just want the thermostat in my room to work properly. Can you send someone up to fix it?"**

**The woman seemed slightly put out. "Yes... Yes sir, I can arrange that."**

**She hung up with a click.**

**Jaune was left to take a seat on the sofa as he waited. He found his attention drawn to the sound of a baby crying- presumably the mother who was in the room next to his. "Another day, another thin wall," he muttered, taking out his scroll again. "Yeah... hotel rooms are creepy by nature. 'Who slept in this bed before me? How many people? How many were sick? How many were insane? How many are dead now, or would go on to kill?'"**

"He's got a... creepy sort of point," Nora admitted, cuddling as close to Ren as she could.

"**But... I came here to get the story, so that's what I'm going to get. An Arc... never goes back... on their word..."**

**The words seemed to cause him physical pain to say as he rose up and turned out the lights, replacing them with one of his secret weapons- a large blacklight that suddenly turned the room into a vibrant painting. He shuddered at the things revealed that would normally be invisible to the naked eye, his research and Whitley's history lessons doing laps around his mind. Under the blacklight, the painting of the ship in particular was concealed beneath... whatever had splashed over it. The stain he'd noticed earlier was suddenly far more sinister in nature. The less said about the bed and sofa, the better.**

"**Whitley cleans this room once a month," Jaune reflected, "but... some stains just don't... come... off..."**

"Yang?" Ruby shivered. "I... don't wanna go to any hotels for a while..."

"Agreed," Yang nodded, fighting to keep herself from shivering- she was the brave one, dammit!

**Finally, he started turning the lights on again, until he caught something else out of the corner of his eye- the first painting he'd noticed, the one of the ship, seemed to be ever so slightly skewed to the right. He chuckled a bit, imagining Weiss's reaction, and went to straighten it.**

**He'd barely crossed the room before looking up and realizing it had straightened itself.**

**Jaune blinked, glancing back towards the painting above the bed- of the Atlesian Hunt.**

**When he glanced back, the painting was tilting again- to the left. He shook his head violently- Whitley's stories must have gotten to him more than he'd suspected. He looked again.**

**Somehow, in some way, the painting was tilting **_**both **_**ways.**

**He collapsed into the sofa, speaking into his scroll. "It's not... that what I'm seeing... isn't real... it's just not as real as it seems."**

"What am I looking at?" Pyrrha wondered, tilting her head to try and grasp the illusion coming through the screen.

"Nothing good, that's for sure," Weiss grunted with her arms crossed.

**Jaune's reverie was interrupted by a knock at the door. He got to his feet and hurried to answer. "I hear you've got a problem with your temperature?"**

"**Yeah," Jaune agreed, refusing to admit to himself how glad he was to hear another voice as he went to the door to open it. **

**It was a tougher job than he'd expected- the knob was a pain to turn, and the door seemed to be stuck in its frame, but with teh proper application of force, it at last swung open, revealing a dark-skinned goat faunus on the other side. **

"Quick! Quick! The door's open! Get out now!" Ruby pleaded- nobody had the heart to point out that wasn't about to happen.

"**So, what's the problem?" the man asked. "Too hot or too cold?"**

**Jaune glanced at the swimming pool's worth of sweat he was doused in, and wordlessly looked back, lids lowered halfway. **

"**Look, could you just come in, the box is over here, stuck up past eighty-"**

**He'd crossed the room to the box before realizing the faunus was still standing at the threshold. "...Seriously?"**

"**I'm not coming in that room," the faunus stood firm. **

"**It's six or seven feet-"**

"**I know, but I'm not coming in," the faunus insisted. "Look, I'll talk you through it from here- any idiot can do it, if they know how."**

"I wonder if faunus can sense... whatever it is more easily than humans," Jaune speculated. "Any thoughts, Blake?"

"I suppose it's feasible," Blake shrugged. "But... it really depends on what 'it' is."

"**Look, just take off the plate..."**

**Jaune rolled his eyes heavily, but did as instructed.**

"**Now... that tube there, it's full of mercury. It's supposed to regulate the temperature- problem is, this place is so old, everything's always breaking down. But that's an easy fix- just give it a flick."**

**Jaune quirked a brow, but turned and jolted the tube a bit. Just like that, he felt fresh, cool air filtering into the room. He gave a genuine smile. "Hallelujah- my own personal Jesus Christ! I suppose you'll want a tip for-"**

**He turned to the faunus, but he was gone. He peeked out of the door to see him already turning at the end of the hallway. "...Huh."**

"I guess all the staff are aware of just how bad this room is," Weiss shivered.

**He rolled his eyes again, returning to his bed with a paper cup from the kitchen, planning on taking a drink of his fancy Atlesian wine- but he didn't even get to pour. The bottle suddenly jolted from his hand as the radio suddenly switched on again:**

"_**The best is yet to come, and babe, won't it be fine? The best is yet to come, come the day you're mine!"**_

"Is it just me, or is that song kind of ominous?" Blake pondered.

**Jaune irritably turned the alarm off again, only for something truly shocking to happen- the time flicked off the clock, replaced with one single readout: 60:00. **

"No!" Ruby suddenly squealed.

"What's wrong with you?" Weiss asked.

"Remember what Whitley said? Nobody ever lasts more than one hour!"

**As if to confirm her fears, the clock began counting down.**

_XXXX_

Okay, it's not the thirteenth anymore... there was a power outage that kept me from finishing and uploading... but let's just pretend it is! The next one should be on the way sooner- until then, please R&R, Gamer4 out!


	14. The Room: One Hour

Gamer4 in. Halloween's-a comin' up- we're running short on time. Let's get right back to gettin'!

Episode XII

The Room

One Hour

"JAUNE!" Ruby cried. "Why didn't you leave while you still could?!"

"Because he didn't believe," the real Jaune said gravely. "Probably still doesn't, come to think of it."

**As if to confirm their fears, Jaune simply gave a small smirk. "One hour, huh? Okay, I'll play your game, Whit... ley?"**

**He trailed off for a very simple reason- he suddenly couldn't hear anything. Not even his own voice. "...Hello?" he mouthed, the screen itself going silent to mimic his sudden deafness. "Hello?"**

"That room isn't soundproofed!" Ruby whimpered.

"Even if it was, he'd be able to hear _himself, _you dunce," Weiss rolled her eyes.

**Jaune approached the window, opening it up and peering down. Thirteen floors below, he made out the heavy traffic passing through Vale- but couldn't hear it. Only... very faintly...**

**He considered leaning further out, but choice was removed as the window suddenly slammed shut on his fingers. He let out a scream that pierced his own ears, at least returning his hearing.**

The audience jumped. "Dirty trick, dirty trick!" Yang snarled.

**Jaune screamed and cursed as he used his good hand to lift the window, which had smashed his fingers rather badly, particularly the index and middle. He rushed into the bathroom, angrily swatting at the shower curtains, leaving a trail of blood, before turning to the sink to wash off his hand.**

**After a few seconds, the faucet seemed to break, the water pouring out in jets- **_**boiling hot **_**jets. Jaune let out another scream of mixed pain and fury, struggling to turn it off unsuccessfully, before grabbing every towel from the nearby rack and using them to plug up the sink. **

"Oh, dear," Pyrrha whimpered. "The prelude is over... the real games have begun."

**Jaune hurried back into the bedroom and opened his bag, pulling out a bandana and hurriedly wrapping it around his injury. Just as he finished tying it, the radio began blaring again.**

"_**The best is yet to come, and babe, won't it be fine? The best is yet to come, come the day you're mine!"**_

**In mixed fury and (thought he'd not admit it to himself) a steadily-growing fear, Jaune collapsed onto the bed, grabbed the radio, and ripped it out of the wall.**

**The music stopped, but the countdown did not.**

"Renny... I don't like this room anymore," Nora whimpered, cuddling up to Ren as tight as she could. Ren began running a gentle hand through her hair.

**A phone rang- Jaune first picked up the one by his bed, but heard only a dial tone. Feverishly, he cast it aside and ran into the living room, picking up the phone by the window.**

"**Good evening, sir," came a very polite female voice. "We apologize- there's been a delay in the kitchen, your sandwich may be a few minutes late."**

"**Sandwich?" Jaune asked, taken aback. "**_**What **_**sandwich- I didn't order any-" he paused, taking deep breaths. "Listen, you win, okay? I need to check out- I'm hurt."**

"He still doesn't get it?!" Weiss shrieked indignantly.

"Would you believe it yet?" Blake asked skeptically. "I'm pretty sure you only believe now because of the framing."

Weiss turned red and didn't answer.

**Nor did the woman on the phone, as it happened. "Understood, sir. We can certainly substitute your side- would you like some fries? Coleslaw? Mac-"**

"**FORGET THE DAMN SANDWICH!" Jaune burst out. "I'M HURT, CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! DO I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?! I'M DONE, I'M CHECKING OUT, CALL A CAB TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL!"**

If Jaune's outburst was surprising to the audience, it was still nothing compared to the woman's response:

"**Sir, I will not tolerate you speaking to me like that."**

"It's not the actual staff he's talking to," Jaune stated what they were all thinking, remembering how much everyone had tried to keep him out of the room in the first place- surely, they'd leap on any chance to get him out now.

"**YOU IDIOT!" Jaune roared. "WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS THROUGH TO YOU!? I'M **_**HURT! **_**KEEP UP THIS ACT, I CAN TALK TO WEISS SCHNEE AND HAVE THIS WHOLE PLACE SHUT DOWN!"**

"He must be truly under duress," Blake commented. "I can't imagine he'd try using Weiss's name like that otherwise."

"He'd _better _not," Weiss agreed, trying to sound huffy while masking her desire to chew her own nails.

**The woman seemed to only recognize one word- "Ah, Schnee? Would you like to speak with Mr. Schnee?"**

"**Yeah, wonderful, put **_**him **_**on!" Jaune threw his hand up in the air. At least it would feel better yelling at him.**

**The phone was replaced with muzak. As Jaune waited, he found himself looking over his shoulder. He sensed something near him- he saw nothing, but the hairs on the back of his neck were standing on end.**

**When the muzak went to a dial tone, he threw the phone down. Screw proper procedure, it was time to go.**

"Yes! Yes!" Ruby cheered. "Get out of there!"

"It's already too late," Blake muttered ominously.

**Jaune grabbed his bag, threw everything into it that he'd taken out, and rushed to the door. He fumbled with the knob, which wouldn't turn, before finally taking the key out and forcing it in. For a while, the key didn't turn either, until the handle broke off. Jaune stared in open-mouthed horror as the remainder of the key was seemingly sucked **_**into **_**the door, from which it did not return.**

"Ohhh... I _hate _it when Blake's right," Ruby whimpered.

"...So do I," Blake admitted.

**He didn't let it throw him off too much- he grabbed a pair of scissors from the kitchen and began struggling to pick the lock- he eventually heard a satisfying 'click!' and grabbed the knob- which came off in his hand. **

**All thoughts of pride or decorum abandoned, he began pounding on the door, screaming for help- he pulled back his foot and delivered several sharp kicks, but it was like trying to kick down a brick wall. He looked through the peephole, but was met with another eye, seemingly glaring back into his, causing him to reel backwards and nearly fall over the couch.**

**Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the window. He dashed to it and began waving out for the building next to him. "Hey! Hey, you! Help!"**

**In a darkened room across the street from him was a man sitting at a desk. As if hearing his pleas for assistance, the man rose and turned to face him, still shrouded in shadow as he... began matching Jaune's movements exactly.**

"What?" Pyrrha asked, befuddled.

**Jaune seemed just as weirded out, but every move me made was mirrored by the man across the way. Jaune glanced to his side, and picked up a flashlight, attempting to shine it onto the man's face- it didn't reach, but the man mimicked his movements, picking up a flashlight and shining it onto his own face- which was identical to Jaune's.**

"How... how far does this room's power extend?" Weiss asked, sounding truly rattled.

**The other Jaune did not looked panicked- he was glaring back at the Jaune in 1408, paying no mind even as a deranged woman approached from behind and chopped his head open with an axe, as the original Jaune watched in horror.**

**There was a prickling on the back of Jaune's neck- he turned just in time to duck out of the way of the exact same woman swinging the exact same axe. He stumbled over his bed, landing heavily on the ground, spinning to raise his hands in self-defense- but the woman had vanished as quickly as she'd appeared.**

"So much for subtlety," Blake attempted to cover her creeping dread with a hiss.

**For a full minute, Jaune remained on the ground, struggling to get his breathing under control. Finally, he rose to his feet and returned to the window. The lamp the other Jaune had picked up was still casting light, revealing that the other him had disappeared entirely- dead or otherwise. Jaune turned and picked up a lamp of his own, unceremoniously ripping it out of the socket and tossing it out of the window in a desperate bid to attract attention.**

**It plummeted for several stories before seeming to... simply implode out of existence. Jaune closed his eyes, slowly turning to the table he'd taken it from, and opened them to find that the lamp was back, pristine as though he'd never touched it. He collapsed back onto his bed, vigorously rubbing his eyes with his wrists. "I'm losing my mind..."**

"Anyone would be, with all this going on," Ruby whimpered, mimicking Nora by hiding behind Yang. Yang forced herself to stay strong, refusing to tremble in front of her sister.

"_**Jaune?" **_**came a distant voice, causing Jaune to leap to his feet, looking around with wide eyes.**

"What?" Nora squeaked, peering out over Ren's shoulder.

"What?" Jaune wondered, eyes widening.

"That's... that's me!" Pyrrha finally voiced their thoughts.

"_**Jaune, where are you? Keep talking, help me find you!"**_

**Jaune squeezed himself into the corner. "No... no, nononono... it's just... this can't be happening... none of this is real..."**

**He stumbled out into the living room, glancing from afar at the clock radio- it had been fifteen minutes so far. It already felt like an eternity. **

**He looked around, and found his gaze drawn back up to the vent. "If there's a camera... that's where **_**I'd **_**put it..."**

**At the thought, anger coursed through him. "Are you **_**enjoying this, Whitley? **_**Are you enjoying this, you sick fuck?!"**

"He _still _thinks this is all fake?" Weiss screeched.

"Of course he doesn't," Ren shook his head. "However, in this state of mind, he's willing to grasp any straw to avoid facing the awful truth."

**Jaune, however, had suddenly broken into a smile. "Of course... Whitley."**

**He returned to the bedroom, looking at the large bottle of alcohol. "Did you ever take a drink of this? I don't think you did. You dosed me, you bastard- you **_**dosed **_**me!"**

**His shaking started to settle as he finally alighted on a rational explanation for everything that happened so far. "Very funny... but that makes it simple. I just need to wait this out- wait for it all to get out of my system."**

"That may be a better idea than we think," Blake suggested. "The room doesn't seem to be actively harming him- it's trying to scare him into hurting himself. If he can just bunker down and treat it like a bad drug trip, he might get through the rest of this unscathed."

"And Vale Weekly might elect him sexiest person alive," Weiss snorted. Jaune winced, and Pyrrha glared at her.

**He attempted to collapse into bed- and, as if that were a cue, the tv began flickering to life. He looked at it, and his breath stopped. The image on screen was that of a rooftop overlooking Beacon Academy, over which he and Pyrrha were dueling. He was, for a change, getting the upper hand on her, until, with a smirk, she swept his legs and left him on the ground.**

**A look entered Jaune's face- a look of mixed fury, terror... and abject despair.**

"This... this is something that actually happened!" Jaune gaped.

"Our training..." Pyrrha nodded.

"I think we're about to get some insight into how _our _Jaune became _that _Jaune," Ren noted.

**The Pyrrha in the tv giggled as she helped him to his feet. "Well done!" she praised. "Your swordplay has improved immensely!"**

"**Couldn't have done it without ya," Jaune responded as he brushed himself off. **

"**So, are you ready to move on to aura?"**

"**I'm... actually thinking we could skip aura tonight," Jaune replied bashfully, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I might just... go on a jog or something."**

Jaune's jaw dropped- as did Pyrrha's. All of a sudden, they knew what the Jaune on screen was being forced to relive.

"**Come on," Pyrrha countered. "I know you get frustrated, but you **_**must **_**keep trying! I'm sure we'll discover your semblance any day now!"**

"**That's... not it," Jaune admitted slowly. "It's just... dumb."**

"**What is it?" Pyrrha pressed, stepping forward and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Jaune, you know you can tell me."**

**And, as pain continued to riddle its way into 1408 Jaune, pain appeared on tv Pyrrha's face with Jaune's answer: "It's... Weiss."**

"**Oh," Pyrrha's face fell. "What... what about her?"**

"What _about _me?" Weiss asked indignantly.

"**I... asked her out to the dance... she shot me down. Big surprise, right?"**

"He was devastated," Pyrrha recalled with a pointed glare. "He put everything on the line, and got shot down because _somebody _thought he was out for her _money!"_

"I-" Weiss faltered, but took the refuge offered when Phoenix the white-and-orange kitten jumped up onto her and began purring without provocation. Nacho did the same for Pyrrha, while Trico took a new napping station on Jaune's head, body draping down over either side.

"Good kitties," Crazy smiled.

"Huh... didn't know they'd do that," Georgie commented.

"Can I finally tal-" Stephen started to say before the screen started again.

"**Oh," tv-Pyrrha looked even more put out. "Well... I believe the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea?"**

"**Easy for you to say," Jaune grunted, turning away. "You've probably got guys clamoring over each other to ask you out!"**

"**You'd... be surprised," Pyrrha almost whispered.**

"**Please," Jaune scoffed. "If you don't get a date to the dance, I'll wear a dress!"**

**As the scene played out, the Jaune in the room slowly climbed towards the screen, reaching out, trying to touch Pyrrha, only to be stopped by the unyielding glass. Tears filled his eyes as terrible pain coursed through his entire being. **

"It's not the events of the memory itself causing this," Ren surmised. "There's more to it."

Watching his reactions, the others were hard-pressed to disagree.

**As the screen finally flickered off, Jaune reached out to pick up the bottle of liquor, but paused as he recalled what he had just deduced. Before he could lay any further plans, he looked up to spy another man in the room- glowing bright blue and flickering as if he, too, were on a tv screen- a rather old one that had been worn away by time. He glanced at Jaune, giving him enough time to take in the old-fashioned clothing that would fit right in about a hundred years ago.**

"Oh- a ghost! It _is _a ghost!" Nora yelped, almost happy to finally have some sort of explanation.

"I don't think so," Blake shook her head. "This guy isn't causing anything- it's more like a... a vision."

**The man didn't really seem to be meeting Jaune's eyes- merely looking in their direction by happenstance, before turning away and leaping out the window without a second thought.**

"Not a ghost... it's like a... a recording," Pyrrha summed up, hands over her mouth. "A vision of what happened to another guest before..."

"What it wants Jaune to do now," Yang growled, narrowing her eyes and wishing whatever was causing all this would appear so she could _punch _it, already.

**Jaune turned and saw another figure in the living room- a woman this time, sobbing uncontrollably as she climbed out onto the ledge just outside the window. Unlike the man, she hesitated momentarily, but just like him, she, too, took the plunge.**

"No, Jaune!" Ruby called. "Don't give in!"

**As Jaune slowly stepped into the living room, he heard something he'd never thought could sound so wonderful- a baby crying, reminding him that he wasn't truly alone- there was a woman right next door. He could even hear her attempting to shush the child- he rushed to the wall and began banging against it. "Ma'am, ma'am, can you hear me? I need help!"**

"How's the room going to twist _this _around?" Weiss pondered cynically. Some of the others wanted to chastise her, but understood that she was, essentially, correct.

**With every rap against the wall, the baby's cries grew louder, while the woman gave no signs that she heard his struggles. The cries simply kept growing louder, and louder...**

**Louder, even past the point of possibility. Soon, Jaune felt as though his eardrums were about to bleed as the sharp cries seemed to be piercing them with knives. He fell backwards, grabbing the nearest thing he could reach and throwing it against the wall with all his might. He fell to the ground and covered his ears, but didn't need to- the second the chair crashed into the wall, the crying ceased altogether.**

**He rose and looked to find a crack in the wall- a crack that seemed to be bleeding.**

"Whitley was right," Pyrrha shivered. "This is no grimm- no grimm could do anything like this."

Even Blake, who'd once had an encounter with a particularly nasty grimm in a mirror, nodded- even that monstrosity wouldn't be capable of half the things this _room _was doing.

**Jaune stared at the blood oozing from the wall, but was distracted when light fell across his face. He turned to see that the door to the bathroom suddenly wasn't open on the bathroom anymore- it was instead a brightly-lit room with white walls, nothing within but an old armchair, within which was an older man, snoozing with his head on his chest.**

"Don't go into the light, Jaune!" Ruby whimpered.

"He will," Jaune admitted. "He'll want to know..."

**Step by step, Jaune made his way in. The man seemed to jolt in his rest, whispering to himself, "I want to die... to be free... to see her again... I can't smell anything... I hate this place... how did it come to this? How did I get here?"**

**Slowly, the man looked up and met Jaune's eyes, revealing that he, too, was Jaune- a much older and more decrepit Jaune, almost skeletal, as if he hadn't eaten or seen the light in ages.**

"**I... I don't understand," Jaune whispered.**

"**...As you are, I was," the old Jaune rasped. "As I am, you will be."**

**Jaune stood up and pulled away, quickly finding himself back in the bathroom, normal as ever.**

"That... was that a vision of the future?" Ruby squeaked. "He... he's going to be in there..."

She didn't finish the thought, nor did anyone else. It was too horrible to ponder.

**Jaune collapsed onto the toilet, glancing at the sink- still packed with towels. Water was still forcing itself through, mixing with his blood and dripping down onto the floor. He fumbled as he pulled out his scroll. **

"**...Maybe I'm not real," he whispered. He rose to his feet and staggered into the living room, collapsing onto the sofa. "This could be just a... very vivid nightmare. I don't remember going to sleep... I don't remember fling in, either. Was that today? Yesterday? Time is... blurring together."**

"**Maybe I didn't fly in... maybe I took a train. But... I remember getting breakfast... I was at... or... I ate..." He fell back, looking up at the ceiling. "No... I don't..."**

"He's losing it," Yang noted sadly.

**Jaune glanced to the side, his eyes drawn back to the crack in the wall- a crack that was now pulsing gently, as if the wall itself were breathing. **

"**They say... you can't die in a dream," he mused, rising to his feet and approaching the wall.**

"NO!" Ruby began flapping her arms. "NONONONONONONONO_NO!_"

**An acrid smell penetrated Jaune's nose as he approached the wall... it was like... oil. Scorched engine oil. He reached out and touched the 'blood.'**

**...Nothing happened. He pulled his hand back and smelled the liquid- sure enough, it was the source of that smell.**

**He turned around and opened the window, peering out.**

"NO! DON'T GIVE UP, FEARLESS LEADER!" Nora cried.

"I don't think that's what he's doing," Jaune assured her gently.

**He eyed up the wall, gauging the distance between his two windows- bedroom and living room- to the best of his ability. He turned around and returned to the room, where a map of the floor was erected on the door. He took in what information he could. "Okay... let's say... eighteen feet. I can make that, I can make that."**

"He's going to use the .ledge?" Weiss pondered.

"Looks like his plan," Blake nodded.

"That's... surprisingly clever," Weiss admitted.

**Jaune opened the nearest window he could- the one in the living room- and began to climb out onto the ledge. He spoke into his scroll. "For posterity, if I slip and die, it was an accident. The room. Did not. Win."**

"At least he's got his priorities sorted," Weiss rolled his eyes.

"Damn right," Yang pumped her fist unironically. "Live or die, that room ain't getting the better of him!"

**Jaune held his breath as he very carefully stepped out onto the ledge. He struggled to force back images of him plummeting to his death on the pavement thirteen stories below into his subconscious. That wasn't going to happen- he'd find his way into that woman's room, and explain to her as best he could. Worst come to, Whitley could back him up. He didn't think about the broader implications- not now. For now, all he needed to focus on was surviving.**

Ruby, Nora, Pyrrha, and Jaune were all biting their nails. Everyone else was leaning forward intently.

**He hugged the building as tightly as he could, and began to sidle along. Inch by painful inch, he drew away from the window, making his way towards the opposite edge. **

**The ledge was narrower than his foot- it was surely any second now that he'd slip, or the old building would break- crap, that was right, the building **_**was **_**old, they couldn't even keep the thermostat working properly, and here he was, climbing around the ledges-**

**No. He couldn't think about that. He had to focus on the task at hand. Four feet from his window. Five... six...**

**The wind was blowing. He hadn't accounted for that, either. He was on the thirteenth floor- of course there'd be wind blowing around this high up. All it would take was a particularly harsh gust-**

**Seven feet. Eight. If his calculations were correct, he ought to be beyond the room's influence by now. He looked ahead to the window which was his goal- **

**It was gone.**

**Not only was the window gone- the buildings on either side of the Austin Hotel had vanished, replaced by an infinite wall stretching for eternity in either direction. The only windows remaining were those that would lead him back into 1408.**

"THAT'S CHEATING!" Yang burst out, looking about ready to grab the couch and throw it through the screen.

**Jaune didn't share her anger- on scene as he was, he only had fear. "Shit... oh, shit... **_**oh, shit!**_**"**

**With nothing else to do, he turned and began shuffling back towards the (relative) safety of the room. **

**The trip back seemed much faster than the trip out here- it wasn't long at all until he was about to climb into the window-**

**until he saw a woman right in front of him, rushing at the window, causing him to slip and nearly fall, only barely managing to grab onto the ledge.**

"JAUNE!" It was hard to tell who'd screamed the loudest- everyone had except Ren, Blake, and Jaune himself- who seemed on the verge of passing out.

**Jaune watched as the woman- no, not a woman, another vision- climbed out onto the ledge, looking down... and jumped, passing right through him on her way into oblivion. Like the lamp before her, she seemed to implode into herself before touching hte pavement.**

**Jaune looked back up and his heart leapt- the window was beginning to close. Slowly, almost teasingly, it was easing itself shut. **

"No!" Ruby moaned. "Not like this!"

**The sight sent a surge of strength through Jaune's arms- he heaved himself upwards and managed to clamber through the window just before it closed. He collapsed in a heap on the ground, unwilling to force himself back up right away.**

"He's not getting out of there, is he?" Ruby lamented.

"The odds _do _seem stacked against him," Blake admitted mournfully.

"But that's when we hunters _thrive!" _Nora shouted. "Come on, Jaune-Jaune, you're the fearless leader, you can find a way out of there!"

**Jaune only returned to his feet when he spied something out of the corner of his eye- he rolled over and pushed himself up, shambling over to the door, where the map of the floor had changed- it had been entirely blacked out, with one exception- the room itself was as perfect as before.**

"That room is _mocking _him," Yang growled. It wasn't enough for the room to make clear efforts on his life, it was taunting him the whole time- it made her blood boil.

**Jaune bowed his head and peered through the peephole again- there was no eye this time. Just a simple brick wall.**

**The sound of electric crackling met his ears, causing him to spin around- but rather than the lights all going out, the room shifted in color- a color he didn't recognize, couldn't describe... it made his eyes ache just to look at. The room had changed again- the window he'd just attempted to climb through had been sealed by brick and mortar- when he ran into the bedroom, that window had vanished altogether, replaced by flowery wallpaper.**

"Trapped!" Pyrrha gasped. "Completely trapped!"

"What's that color?" Ruby asked, rubbing at her eyes. "It makes my eyes hurt!"

"I don't recognize it either," Weiss admitted. "As far as I know, that color doesn't exist!"

**Jaune produced his scroll again, collapsing on the bed. First, he attempted to make a call- no signal. He'd figured as much. Next, he opened the recording app and rewound everything he'd said in the room thus far. Losing my mind... hotel rooms are naturally creepy...**

"_**Strangely, the bedroom has no window."**_

**His hand slackened, and the scroll clattered to the ground as he sunk into his mattress. 'The bedroom has no window.' The words rang in his head again and again. **_**The bedroom has no window.**_

"This room's power is truly terrifying," Pyrrha noted, heart racing. "Even able to affect the past..."

"At this point, I kinda hope I really am just going insane," Jaune admitted.

**CRASH!**

**Jaune leapt to his feet and turned towards the living room- which had vanished. It was as if the portal between the bedroom and living room had transformed into another screen, showing him and Pyrrha sprinting through courtyard- the buildings around them burning as they were overcome by grimm.**

"What... what's this?" Blake asked, truly caught off guard this time.

"Another memory, clearly," Ren pointed out the obvious, "but a memory of _what?!_"

"**Okay, I think I have Glynda's number," the other Jaune gasped as he produced his scroll. "It... it's gotta be in here somewhere..."**

**As he ran his finger all over his scroll, he glanced back to Pyrrha. "Pyrrha, what **_**was **_**all that?"**

**Pyrrha opened her mouth, trembling. "I... I..."**

**A noise echoed from Beacon Tower, something like a rocketship taking off. Jaune looked back, eyes widening in disbelief. "But... Ozpin..."**

"**There's no time," Pyrrha lamented, tears tracing their way down her cheeks. "Jaune... go. Get to Vale. Call for help there."**

"**What?" Jaune objected. "What are **_**you **_**gonna do?"**

**Pyrrha only looked up the tower.**

**Jaune shook his head. "No... no, Pyrrha, you **_**can't- **_**you **_**saw **_**how powerful she is!"**

"Who?" Ruby cried. "Who's too powerful- what's going on?"

Georgie coughed. They looked at him, and he threw his eyes between them and Crazy. _I'll tell you later, once he's gone, _the look said. They accepted it... for now.

"**Pyrrha," the Jaune in the vision said, "I can't let you do thi-"**

**Pyrrha interrupted him with a kiss. Jaune looked shocked,**

but not nearly as shocked as the audience. Ruby looked particularly affronted, but Pyrrha was on the verge of covering her eyes- and potentially Jaune's, as well.

**Finally, she pulled away. "I... I'm sorry." **

**Before Jaune could object, she'd pushed him into a locker behind him.**

"Why'd you do that?!" Ruby cried, even more affronted than before.

"No..." Jaune gasped. "NO!"

**Pyrrha began dialing in a location to the locker. "NO, PYRRHA, NO! DON'T DO THIS!"**

**The locker took off even as he continued to scream. Pyrrha's eyes filled with tears as she watched him go.**

"Pyrrha..." Nora whimpered. Ren locked his arm tightly around her, rocking her gently back and forth.

**The Jaune in the room heard his own inner thoughts echoing in his ears- **_**what sort of kind, loving god would let her just... die?**_

"**...Pyrrha," he whispered.**

"So... this is all because... because of what happened to Pyrrha?" Weiss repeated.

"That... would seem to be the case," Blake nodded, almost wanting to cradle Jaune herself. She knew the pain of loss all too well.

**With another crackling, all the light in the room vanished, and everything went silent.**

**A voice came through the darkness: "Jaune? Jaune... come to me, Jaune... you must be so tired..."**

"Don't use my voice on him like that, bitch!" Pyrrha hissed, now just as furious at the room as Yang was. Tormenting her crush was bad enough, but to use her likeness and voice to do it was beyond the pale!

**Jaune staggered through the room, feeling along the walls for a light of some sort- finally, he found a switch, and just like that, the light was back- that same odd-colored light. The first thing he saw was a mirror, and reflected in it was that crazy woman again, approaching him with an axe- until he turned around, and she was gone.**

"Who _is _that woman?" Yang snarled. "Maybe _she's _behind it?"

"No... I doubt it," Blake shook her head. "I think Whitley's right- this isn't a ghost. Ghosts were human once. This is just an evil room."

**Jaune became conscious that the room was growing cold- very cold. He rushed to the thermostat- it was stuck at about forty degrees. No matter how hard he played with it, the temperature refused to change. He returned to his bag, pulling out his long-beloved Pumpkin Pete's hoodie, feeling an immediate surge of warmth as he donned it. **

**He returned to the bedroom and picked up his scroll again- to his surprise, when he turned it on, he saw the barest trace of signal. He leapt on the chance, dialing the first number he could think of- Lie Ren. The scroll rang twice, and then, an image of Ren appeared in a window to the scroll's left. "Hello?" he asked, looking very tired.**

"**Renny..." came another voice. "Come back to beeeeed..."**

Everyone turned with raised eyebrows towards the dynamic duo in question, who had suddenly turned a bright red.

"**In a second!" Ren called back, before returning to his scroll. "Now, who is- wait, Jaune? Jaune, is that you?"**

**Jaune had rarely been so relieved. "Yes, Ren- yes, this is me! It's Jaune!"**

**In the blink of an eye, Nora had appeared at Ren's side. "JAUNE-JAUNE?" she cried, all traces of weariness gone from her expression. **

"**Yes, Nora, yes, it's me," Jaune nodded quickly, whispering without fully understanding why- as if the room might hear what was happening and cut off his connection again. **

"**Where've you **_**been, **_**Jauney? It's been a year! Oh, does this mean you want to finally meet up again? Oh, it'll be just like the old days- we'll get Team RWBY and Oscar and Ilia and-"**

"**Listen," Jaune interrupted. "I'm trapped... trapped in this room, this... this **_**place.**_**"**

"**Oh, where is it this time?" Nora asked excitedly. "A lighthouse? An old mansion? Or a manor? Y'know, what even is the difference between a manor and a mansion? It's so weird, y'know-"**

"**Nora," Ren placed a hand on her shoulder, attempting to calm her. "Don't flood the poor man, let him get a word in edgewise."**

"**Call the police!" Jaune hissed through his teeth- it was getting colder and colder in here, even the hoodie not doing as much as he'd like to keep it out. "Call the police, and send them to the Austin Hotel!"**

**The feed was very slow and laggy- it seemed that very little of his plea had actually gotten through, but Ren had heard one thing. "Austin? You're back in town?"**

"**That's great!" Nora cheered. "We can just go to where you are-"**

"**No!" Jaune shook his head violently. "DON'T come here! It's dangerous- **_**I'm **_**in danger- call the police! Austin Hotel, Room 1408!"**

"**Jaune, slow down, I can barely-" Ren started, before two things happened in quick succession: the connection cut out entirely, and just to rub salt in the wound, the sprinklers kicked in, raining cold water on him.**

"NO!" everyone screamed, as the hope that had entered them upon seeing Ren and Nora's faces was ruthlessly crushed.

**Jaune's reaction matched theirs. "NO!" he yelled as he threw his scroll across the room in anger. **

**The lights began flickering again, and the cold intensified- a glance at the thermostat showed that it was only slightly above freezing. Jaune let out a near-bestial cry as he grabbed a chair and threw it at the ceiling- he knocked the sprinkler askew, and the lights came on once again. While Jaune was looking up to confirm that the water had stopped, his eyes fell on what seemed like his last hope- the vent.**

"After the window, I can't imagine the vent will go much better," Weiss whispered, not vindictively, but sorrowfully.

"Try anything once, right?" Jaune shrugged in a tone of equal despair.

**With his knife and a flashlight clenched between his teeth, it took Jaune only a few minutes to climb on the table and open up the vent. Internally, he had misgivings similar to Weiss's, but a conviction similar to his other self's- he used his upper body strength to hoist himself into the vent, the intense cold immediately being replaced by a claustrophobic heat. **

"**Fair warning, anything up here," he called out, loud as he dared, "I've got a knife!"**

**He crawled with it in his hand, careful not to cut himself as he crawled through the tight space. **

**It was a labyrinth up here, and the tights spaces gave him no reprieve as he struggled to determine the best way out of here. Instinct led to him avoiding certain passages- particularly those that insects seemed to have made home- and towards others. **

"I don't like tight places," Nora shuddered.

"Me neither," Ruby agreed- if there was one trope she hated watching, it was the air vent escape. The idea of being so tightly enclosed was horrific to her.

**Jaune finally located a vent where a dark-haired woman was sleeping on a sofa. "Lady! Lady, help me out of here!" he pleaded, banging on the grate as hard as he could. **

**The lady stood up- it was Ruby Rose. The room around her shifted to a forest, through which she moved, Jaune's vision following like a television screen.**

"That's me?" Ruby looked surprised.

"A few years older, for sure," Yang pondered, looking at Ruby's outfit. Her cloak was more tattered, the combat skirt a little more suited for the outdoors, and... a couple other things...

**As Ruby came to the edge of a clearing, she heard a voice: "Alright, Jaune, just like we practiced: follow these instructions. Shield up!"**

**In the middle of the clearing was Jaune, his scroll propped up against a stump, as he followed the recorded Pyrrha's instructions to the letter.**

"**Keep your grip tight! Don't forget to keep your front foot forward. Ready? Go!"**

**With a scream of anguish, Jaune swung his sword. **

"**Again!"**

**Jaune yelled and thrust forward with his shield. **

"**Aaaaand again!"**

**Jaune screamed as he brought his sword down as if on an invisible opponent's head. **

"**Okay! Now, assuming you're not cheating, we can take a break."**

**Jaune breathed heavily as he collapsed next to the stump, picking up the scroll and staring into it. **

"**I know this can be frustrating, and... it can feel like so much effort to progress such a small amount... but... I want you to know that I'm proud of you. I've never met anyone so determined to better themselves. You've grown so much since you started training, and I **_**know **_**this is just the beginning."**

**The recorded Pyrrha looked bashfully to the side. "Jaune... I... I... I want you to know that I'm just happy to be part of your life. I'll always be there for you, Jaune."**

**She stopped, and without missing a beat, the scroll rewound back to the beginning. "Alright, Jaune, just like we practiced!"**

The audience looked on with an ache in their hearts. Nobody felt like they could say anything to this.

**The Jaune in the vent was little better off- he was struggling to fight back tears as he climbed over the vent he'd watched all this through, and continued on his way. **

**He came to another T-junction- both directions seemed to stretch on forever, but he could hardly just sit here forever. **

**He turned right and scrabbled his way forward for what felt like a solid ten minutes, where he came upon another T-junction. Right- nothing. Left-**

**He screamed. Down the left passage was a mangled corpse, seemingly mummified by potential years of decay in this obscure corner of the hotel's vents. Whatever clothing it had been wearing had decayed away- the only hints to its identity were a few stray tufts of blond hair that had managed to cling on.**

**And it was moving right towards him. **

"CAN'T THIS THING DEC IDE IF IT WANTS TO DO SAD OR SCARY?!" Yang snarled- hiding her fear, as ever. Nobody else was really bothering.

**Jaune crawled to the right as quickly as he could- if this was a mummy, it wasn't the traditional slow-moving type- it was pursuing him with great ferocity, carrying with it the rotten odor of a thousand open graves. Jaune refused to look back, no longer concerned with where he was going, only with getting away from this thing. **

**Twice, it reached out and grabbed his leg- the first time, he managed to slip away- the second, he kicked out and seemingly destroyed its head, unleashing an even more noisome odor. He turned and continued on, seeing a gap and falling through it head-first, crashing into a table that buckled beneath him enough to save him, but not enough to spare him from unconsciousness. Everything went black.**

_XXXX_

One chapter left- it will, of course, be up on Halloween. We'll wrap this one up, then move on to the viewer's choice- the poll will go up with the next chapter. Until all that happens, Please R&R, anything welcome, Gamer4 out!


	15. The Room: Express Checkout

Gamer4 in. Y'know, my greatest fear this month was not getting this chapter up in time- Wave Existence knows my computer made that very possible. I'm getting this one started a couple days early- this is going up on Halloween, come hell or high water!

Episode XIII

The Room: Express Checkout

Right as Jaune was collapsing onto the table on the screen, there was a bright flash of light and a colossal crash from the outside. Everyone jumped- hosts included. Crazy, who still had Nala on his lap, screeched as she tore it up in her fright.

"The HELL was that?!" Yang shouted.

"What makes you think _I _know?!" Crazy threw his hands up.

"This is _your _world, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I know everything that goes on in it!" Crazy countered.

"Maybe you and Stephen should go check on it," George suggested.

"Wait, don't I get a say in-" Stephen started.

"No," George interrupted. "No you don't."

"Come on, Stephen," Crazy sighed as he rose to his feet. "Maybe we can stop by Target, get a new pair of shorts while I'm at it..."

The second they were out the door, George turned to the others. "Now..."

"What _happened _in that world?" Jaune demanded immediately. "Why is Pyrrha dead, and why did you want to show it to us?"

"Because... it's not _exactly _your future, but the only real difference is that this world doesn't have aura in it. Aside from that, everything played out pretty much the same."

"So... it _is _possible that Pyrrha could die in our future?" Ruby gasped, silver eyes stretching wide.

"...Yes. If none of this ever happened- if things continue the way they were, with no change... she'll die."

"I'm not gonna let that happen!" Nora snarled immediately, leaping to her feet.

"Me neither!" Yang snarled, smashing her fists together.

"...What else happens?" Pyrrha asked softly, earning surprise from her fellows.

"Huh?" Jaune asked, caught off guard as anyone else. "Pyrrha, we just found out you're going to die in the future, and you're asking-"

"My death didn't happen in a vacuum," she pointed out. "There was far more to it than just that. George... _what else happens?_"

George sighed. "It's a long story... I can't tell you everything. I'm risking Crazy going ballistic telling you as much as I have."

"You mean he _wants _things to happen that way?!" Weiss narrowed her eyes, gripping for the rapier that still wasn't there.

"No, of course not!" George shook his head. "He hates it as much as you do, but... telling people their own future is risky. He's afraid if he tells you too much, meddles too much with your world, things could get even worse."

"Can't he just snap his fingers and make things better?" Nora asked.

"What, you think we're gods, or something?" George snorted. "That he can wave his hand and make everybody who was dead come back to life? Yang said it herself- if push came to shove, she could beat the crap out of him, no problem."

"I _did _say that, didn't I?" Yang reflected.

George put a hand to his chin. "I think... we might be able to talk him into telling you more, doing some more to help you. But it would take time... and a very powerful story. A certain universe..." A smile began to form on his face. "'Stand tall and seize your destiny.'"

"Huh?" Ruby tilted her head, confused.

"That's what he needs to hear- 'seize your destiny.' Don't worry about it right now- we'll get to it after this Halloween special. Just... a... second..."

The door opened, and Crazy and Stephen were back.

"Wow, didn't expect to find-" Stephen started.

"So, what was it?" Nora asked, not hiding her sudden distrust very well- none of them seemed too keen on hugging Crazy after learning what he'd been keeping from them. If Crazy noticed, he didn't comment- honestly, it didn't seem like he did.

"Long story, I'll tell ya after Halloween," he shrugged, resuming his seat.

"Will you?" Blake asked skeptically, narrowing her eyes dangerously.

The animosity flew over Crazy's head. "Yup, sure will. Let's get this universe wrapped up, shall we?"

The guests glanced between themselves, wordlessly promising they _would _get to the bottom of this before they left, but ultimately acquiesced... for now.

**Jaune was unconscious for less than a minute before waking up with a groan, rolling his eyes around to take in his location. "Urgh... home, sweet home," he muttered as he rolled over, forcing himself to his feet.**

"I'd think he'd be a little more panicked," Blake pondered.

"Inside, he probably is- I think it's just his way of trying to keep calm," Ren suggested.

**He rose to his feet, struggling to maintain balance. The room was still lit with that odd, impossible color, and the windows were still bricked up. "I need... I need..."**

**He groaned, rubbing at his eyes. "I need a freaking drink."**

**He staggered to the refrigerator and opened it- but it wasn't shelves of cool food and drink he found on the other side, but a small room- a miniature replica of an office, within which stood a doll-size Whitley Schnee, smirking up at him.**

"**I thought I'd check in, make sure the accommodations were to your liking."**

"Is that actually him?" Ruby asked, aghast.

Weiss shook her head. "Another vision. He'd never get this close."

"The room is taunting him again," Pyrrha snarled.

"**YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL HOW I FEEL!" Jaune broke down, screaming into the fridge. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"**

**Whitley remained unfazed, tucking his hands into his pockets as he sauntered closer. "You're asking all the wrong questions, Mr. Arc- it's not about what **_**I **_**want, it's about what **_**you **_**want."**

"**What **_**I **_**want?!"**

"**You sought this room out- you brute-forced your way in."**

"**As part of a job- I was doing my job!"**

"**Your job, hmm? As the man who believes in nothing? Your job, Mr. Arc, is to shatter people's hopes, just as yours were."**

"**BULLSHIT!" Jaune screamed, eyes growing red with madness.**

"**Why do you think people believe in ghosts? For fun? For the thrill of a chill running up their spine? Children's things, Mr. Arc- the root of belief in ghosts is hope- hope that there's something after death, something that will bring meaning to all the pain and misfortune of life.**

"**How many spirits have you broken, Mr. Arc? How many hopeful lights have you snuffed out- just like Ms. Cinder-"**

"**THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED!" Jaune screamed again. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM-"**

**Before he could even finish the question, Whitley- the entire office- disappeared, replaced with the normal contents of the fridge. Overtaken by a sudden fury, he began seizing everything in sight and flinging it out. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WHAT DO YOU- I WANT... A FUCKING... DRINK!"**

There was a quiet solemnity over the audience as they watched their friend descend into madness, until finally, Weiss raised a finger. "Hold a moment... Cinder... you mean, _Cinder's _the one who...?"

Crazy blinked, then slowly turned towards George, brows furrowing. George quickly began innocently whistling.

**Jaune took a step back, slipping on a fallen can of beer and collapsing into the bed, looking up at the ceiling. **

**He rose back to his feet, grabbing two items from his bedside table- the bottle of liquor and the bible. He gulped some of the former, before holding the latter close to his chest. "Our Father, who art in heaven... hallowed by thy name... thy kingdom come..."**

**He opened the pages, to find them all absolutely blank.**

"I bet the room's having fun with this," Yang snarled, fingers twitching. "Dangling hope in front of him, always snatching it away at the last second..."

**This time, Jaune didn't even react- he simply began mutely ripping out the pages, one by one.**

"**You were the first person to ever believe in me, you know that?" **

**Almost against his will, Jaune raised his head to look into the next room, which had once again shifted- he and Pyrrha were leaning against the wall at the edge of one of Beacon's many courtyards, eating cotton candy. **

"Oh... not again," Pyrrha whispered, raising her hands to her mouth. She couldn't bear to see images of herself being used against her crush.

Jaune's hand tightened around hers, earning her _some _comfort, at least.

**Past Jaune looked rueful as he continued. "Even when I told my parents I was coming to Beacon, they told me not to worry if I ended up having to move back home. How depressing is that?"**

"Jaune... is that true?" Ruby glanced at him, watery-eyed. Jaune nodded, leaving all of Team RWBY stunned. JNPR, who'd already had an idea of what his departure was like, remained silent.

**Pyrrha responded gently. "I'm sure they didn't mean-"**

**She gasped and dropped her cotton candy when she noticed Jaune's hand on hers. **

"**I guess..." Jaune continued, "what I'm trying to say... you've always been there for me- even when I didn't deserve it. Look... I can tell that there's something on your mind, so... I don't know... how can I help?"**

**Pyrrha smiled warmly and lay her head against his shoulder. "You're already doing it," she said blissfully.**

**The scene abruptly shifted, leaping years forward in time, to Jaune punching a wall. "I should have known right then! I should have known something was going on! What did I give her? Pretty words- fat lot of good those do in the end!"**

"**Jaune-" Ren started, but Jaune ignored him.**

"**Destiny," Jaune spat. "That's what she talked about, the last time we really talked. 'Do you believe in destiny?' To her, it wasn't about fate that you worked to escape, it was a final goal! Well, who figured her goal was to die on top of that fucking tower?!"**

"**She did it for us, Jaune," Nora tried to intervene, an alien teary look on her face. "Not because of some greater plan-"**

"**Of course it's not some greater plan," Jaune agreed. "There **_**is **_**no greater plan- no good god would have let that happen to her. There **_**is **_**no god, and if there is... they're not out to help us. Maybe if she realized that, she'd... she'd..."**

**At a loss for words, he stormed out of the room, leaving a stony Ren and tearful Nora in his wake.**

"Jaune..." Pyrrha was beginning to sob. Her Jaune wrapped an arm around her, feeling rather stone-faced himself.

**The Jaune in the room collapsed onto the sofa, sobbing. He only stirred when he heard a clatter in the wardrobe. Wordlessly, reluctantly, he crossed to it and opened it up, revealing a tiara of sorts on the lower shelf- identical to that which Pyrrha had worn throughout her career at Beacon, before it was cut so cruelly short. Struggling to even move, he picked it up and headed into the bathroom, where he did his best to clean it under the sink, cradling it almost like a newborn child.**

"Jaune..." Weiss bit her tongue- for reasons she couldn't quite identify, it was causing her some severe pain to see him like this.

**He only stopped when he noticed his breath fogging. Becoming fully cognizant of his surroundings, he found that the entire room had gone white- not through light, but ice- everything was encrusted with ice, as though a vast blizzard had gone through it. When he moved, his shoes fought against a clear inch of snow. **

"Into the ninth circle of Hell," Blake noted ominously.

"But... isn't- er, _Heck _supposed to be hot?" Ruby asked.

"In 'Dante's Inferno,' the lowest circle of hell is a frozen wasteland," Pyrrha answered, nibbling on her finger. "In the center, the Devil himself, encased in a block of ice."

"We finally gonna see the man behind the curtain?" Yang cracked her knuckles eagerly.

**Blowing on his hands for warmth, Jaune made his way to the thermostat, proudly displaying negative five degrees fahrenheit. He returned to the center of the living room, where he placed the torn pages of the blank bible, producing a lighter and beginning a fire. He used the remainders of the bible for fuel, and once that was gone, he began throwing in bits and pieces of the files Whitley had lent him, full of information on the room- information he hardly needed anymore.**

"**Nine... the ninth level... or was it six? This is six... or five... goddamn five... did I ever tell you about my sister that got eaten on the Atlas turnpike?"**

**He curled up under the blanket from the bed, muttering further nonsense to himself. "I hear it's... amazing when the famous... stuffed purple worm in flapjaw space... with the tuning fork... does a raw blink on hari-kari rock. I need... I need scissors... Sixty-one."**

"I fear his mind has finally broken," Ren closed his eyes in resignation.

"**Jaune? Jaaaauuune?"**

"Nora?!" Everyone perked up.

**Jaune's eyes widened- he produced his scroll, wiping away the frost that had formed on it to see a picture of Nora, somehow back in contact with him. **

"**Nora!"**

"**Oh- great, you're back!" Nora grinned. "Ren, I got through to him!"**

**Ren quickly appeared. "Jaune, what happened?"**

"**Later- did you call the cops?"**

"**Yes, we did- they're at the hotel right now. You **_**did **_**say 'Austin,' right?"**

"**Yes, yes, room 1408!"**

"**Jaune, they're in 1408 right now- it's empty. There's nobody there."**

"GODDAMNIT!" Yang screeched.

**Jaune's head collapsed onto the floor next to his scroll, eyes overcome with despair.**

"**Jaune? Jauney?" Nora butted in. "We got holda Team RWBY, y'know- we're all ready to help you out, wherever you are, but... where **_**are **_**you?"**

"**In my coffin," Jaune whispered. "I'm... I'm having trouble thinking, but... I'm supposed to die here..."**

"**You're not going to die," Ren objected, a note of urgency entering his voice- the equivalent of anyone else going into hysterics. **

"**Ren, we gotta stop him!" Nora yelped. "Austin hotel, right? We can be there in fifteen minutes!"**

**Jaune craned his neck around to look at the alarm clock, visible even through the ice- it showed that he had seven minutes left.**

"And what happens after that?" Ruby whimpered. "He just... drops dead?"

"It seems too simple," Ren shook his head.

"Maybe he gets to go if he survives?" Nora suggested hopefully.

"I very much doubt it," Weiss shook her head.

"**Too late," he shook his head. "Too late-"**

"**Fifteen minutes is perfect."**

**Jaune blinked- his scroll was divided into two screens right now- one showing Ren and Nora, the other showing his own face- but his own face was no longer following his actual movements. It had been taken over by some outside force, speaking words he wasn't saying.**

"**Come up! Right now! I've always known I can count on you, and I need you more than ever!"**

**The real Jaune shook his head. "No... no... stay away!"**

"**I know it's been a few years, but I need you- can't explain it over the scroll, we need to talk in person-"**

"**No, no, don't listen to him!"**

"**Whitley's the manager, he'll slow you down, don't talk to him, just come right up to the room!"**

"**NO! DON'T COME TO THE ROOM! DON'T COME TO THE ROOM! DON'T COME! SHUT UP- NORA, DON'T LISTEN! REN! STAY AWAY!"**

"**We'll be right there, Jaune!" Nora 'assured' him, and her feed cut out. The other Jaune's lingered long enough for him to smirk at the real thing, giving a sly wink before disappearing as well.**

"This room's power is... truly horrifying," Weiss shuddered.

"We need to work out a codeword for situations like this!" Nora decided. "That way, nobody can trick us-"

"The room can read his mind, Nora," Ren reminded gently. "Odds are, it would be able to replicate any codeword we can think of."

"Oh," Nora sunk back into her seat, looking crestfallen.

**Jaune leapt to his feet. "No... you can't have them!" he yelled, before being violently thrown back to the ground as the floor began to heave like the deck of a ship. The ceiling and walls began to crack, large gaps appearing in the floor as the living room and the living room alone tossed. Through every crack came that foul ooze, reeking of burned engine oil. **

**Then it was rain- harsh, cold rain that washed the snow away, revealing changes in the paintings- the teacher's sclera had turned black, the book she was reading from bound in human flesh, the children's faces fixed in horrified screams. The Atlesians were chasing a naked faunus, running for his life pursued by gun-toting horsemen and snarling dogs. And the ship... the ship had become more detailed, revealing the terrified faces of the crewmen- except for the wide, cackling face of the woman who'd attempted to plant an axe in his skull.**

"Tell me when it's over!" Ruby squeaked, hiding behind Yang's hair. Weiss and Blake had grabbed each other, as had Arkos and Renora.

**Snarling in fury, Jaune grabbed a chair and tossed it at the painting of the ship, which shattered like a window, allowing all the oceans depicted within to tear out and flood the room. Jaune closed his eyes against the tide, struggling to swim upwards in an effort to escape the flood, until at last...**

**He found himself flopping onto a sandy shore, coughing and hacking up water. He took deep breaths of beautiful, beautiful air before opening his eyes and finding himself on a beach, under a bright, vibrant sun. **

**A young man rushed over to him. "Hey- hey, you alright there?"**

**Jaune shook, chest heaving, heart racing, and finally sinking into blackness.**

"Wait... what happened? I missed it!" Ruby wondered, returning from behind her sister.

The others were equally dumbstruck. "I don't think watching would have helped much," Weiss admitted, struggling to wrap her head around what she'd just seen.

"He woke up on the beach, much like at the beginning, but this time, passed out- likely due to shock," Ren diagnosed.

"The beach?" Ruby asked. "But... then... how... huh?"

"Yep, that's what we're wondering," Yang agreed.

**The next time Jaune awoke, it was to find himself in a large white room, in an apron, hooked up to a great deal of machinery. Looking at his feet, he saw two people with him- Nora Valkyrie, fast asleep in a chair, and Lie Ren, pacing around. He, of course, was the first to notice Jaune's wakefulness. A smile of relief crossed his face. "At last, he awakes," he said, pulling up a guest chair and sitting next to Nora. As Jaune continued to struggle to speak, he gently shook her. "Nora, he's awake."**

**Nora sat bolt upright immediately. "He is?!"**

"**Yes, and if you want it to stay that way, it'd be best to calm down."**

"**Oh- right. Sorry," Nora smiled sheepishly.**

**Finally, Jaune's brain caught up with the rest of his senses. "Am... am I out?!"**

**Ren put out a hand. "Calm down, there, Jaune, calm down- you don't want to put yourself back in a coma."**

"**You've been out for a week!" Nora provided helpfully.**

"**A week?" Jaune asked, looking out the window. "This isn't Vale..."**

"**Noooo," Nora agreed. "Why would they take you all the way to Vale, silly? You nearly drowned in Vacuo, you went to a hospital **_**in **_**Vacuo!"**

"**We weren't on scene, of course," Ren admitted, "but according to witnesses, you fell off your board, and it decided to give you a whack. A surprise on our behalf- we didn't even know you surfed."**

"So, wait... it was... all just a dream?" Ruby asked, almost hopefully.

"I'm not a fan of that plot development in general, but I think I can accept it, just this once," Weiss smiled.

**Jaune's lip began trembling. "You... you came all the way out to Vale... just for me?"**

"**Of course!" Nora declared, as if it should be obvious. "We'd never abandon our fearless leader in his time of need!"**

"Damn straight!" Nora whooped, pulling her entire team into a giant hug.

"**Not in Vale... I'm out, I'm out," Jaune sighed, leaning his head back on the pillow.**

"**Out? Whaddya mean? You keep sayin' that- you're out, you're out?"**

"**I... I **_**was **_**in Vale... I was trapped... dying... in the Austin Hotel..."**

"**Austin? There's no Austin Hotel," Ren blinked. **

"**Must have been a nightmare!" Nora decided. **

"**But it was so vivid-"**

"**You **_**were **_**in a coma," Ren reminded him. "Perhaps such a lucid dream was to be expected." He smiled, and placed a hand on Jaune's shoulder. "Get some rest- I have a hunch you'll feel better afterward."**

**And under their caring faces, Jaune was able to get to sleep without nearly as much trouble as he'd expected.**

_XXXX_

Well, that's it for the Halloween special- hope you've enjoyed, and all. Next time, we'll have some more lighthearted stuff to ease the tension a bit. Until then, Please R&R, everything under the sun embraced, Gamer4 out.


	16. The Room: Epilogue

Gamer4 in. Full confession- I was really tired last night, so I kinda skimmed over the last portions of the movie. People have (rightly) called me out on it- I guess everyone wants to see Jaune finally get his happy ending. Who am I to refuse? Without further adieu, the epilogue.

Episode XIV

The Room: Epilogue

"Wait, it's still going?" Ruby pondered as the screen faded in again.

"Well, don't ya wanna see Jaune get his life back together?" Crazy shrugged.

**The first thing Jaune did upon leaving the hospital was return to the beach to recover the car he'd driven out there with- it was still there, mostly untouched, aside from some mud that must have been blown onto it by the wind.**

"**Oh, you beauty," he grinned as he ran a hand over the hood. **

"**The beach is so **_**beautiful, **_**Ren!" Nora squealed as she bounced along, gazing at the expanse of sand and water with wonder.**

"**Truly, if Jaune had to go anywhere, I can understand why it was here," Ren concurred with a smile.**

**Nora's own smile disappeared. "So... Jaune-Jaune... why **_**did **_**you go?" **

**Jaune glanced away, shame-faced. "I... I was afraid... if I stuck around, I'd lose you... the same way I lost her."**

"Never," Nora assured him, pulling him into a tight hug. "You're gonna have to work hard to get rid of us!"

**The scene cut to a restaurant, the three of them gathered in one booth. "You say Team RWBY's on their way?" Jaune asked with a smile.**

"**We've all been waiting for a chance like this, Jauney!" Nora brightly declared over a mouthful of pancakes. **

"**I think you have, as well," Ren added, eying him up with that perceptive magenta gaze of his. "It seems to me that this room of yours was your subconscious, rising up and forcing you to confront your demons."**

"**It was quite the rabbit hole," Jaune reflected. "I even... I even thought I saw Pyrrha. It's... it's so surreal... like I just... like I just talked to her... touched her... **_**felt **_**her just a couple days ago..."**

**Nora gave an uncharacteristically sad smile. "I still see her, Jaune... every night in my dreams."**

Nora reached around and dragged Pyrrha into her group hug as well. That firm grip clearly said, _Whatever happened, we're not letting it happen in _our _world._

"**Perhaps," Ren suggested, "you could make an episode about all this for your show. Make a catharsis out of it- let it all out, David Lynch style."**

"David... Lynch?" Ruby asked with a tilt of her head.

"I think we'll get to him eventually," Crazy speculated.

"**I... don't know if I'd have the strength," Jaune admitted. "Unless... you were all with me."**

**Ren and Nora smiled at him. "Do you even have to ask?"**

"Yeaahhhh!" Nora cheered. "Team JNPR is back together! Er... mostly..."

**That night, Jaune lay awake in his bed, looking through the internet on his scroll. He was able to locate several of the articles he'd dreamed about- several of the suicides that had occurred at the Austin Hotel- but they no longer mentioned the hotel at all. They were instead scattered all over Vale, from various different causes- as far as he could tell, Ren was correct in saying the Austin Hotel had been a fabrication of his mind. **

**Almost on a whim, he sent a text to Weiss, asking what her brother was up to lately, then returned to sleep.**

**He awoke to a confused text asking why she was so interested in Whitley- as far as she knew, he was still in Atlas, struggling to pick up the shattered pieces of the SDC.**

"I almost half-expected to find he didn't exist at all in this universe," Weiss admitted.

**Throughout the day, he worked on the script to what he'd determined would be the final episode of his show- after this, he simply wouldn't need it anymore. **

**All said, it took him roughly a week to finish it- the day before Team RWBY was scheduled to arrive. The same day, he realized he hadn't checked his mail in all that time, and went to rectify that.**

**He approached the front desk, ignoring the many workmen who seemed to be renovating the place, and rang the bell. "Hello? Anyone here?"**

"**How can I help you, sir?"**

**Jaune faltered as a young man entered from the back- a very familiar young man.**

**Whitley Schnee.**

"W...What?" Ruby wavered.

"**W-what are **_**you **_**doing here?" Jaune asked.**

**Whitley didn't answer- a large, burly man reared up behind him and smashed the desk with a baseball bat. One of the workmen grabbed a clock from the wall and tossed it at Jaune, narrowly missing his head- it smashed on the wall behind Whitley.**

**And suddenly, they all had weapons- but they weren't attacking Jaune- they were attacking the walls, tearing and ripping at them to reveal different, papered walls underneath. Jaune staggered back in mute horror, hands rising to the sides of his face. Whitley sadly shook his head as he walked out from behind the counter, heedless to the destruction going on around him, and headed for the door. "My apologies, Mr. Arc- I **_**did **_**try to warn you about 1408."**

"No... _NOOOOOO!" _Yang growled- hardly alone in her sentiment. Horrified looks were spread amongst all the audience- Jaune had practically fallen back over the couch.

**The world spun around him- it was a struggle not to collapse onto the ground as the men ripped up the floor, broke down walls, and smashed windows.**

**And when he finally came to his senses, they were gone- leaving him alone in the broken down, filthy, absolutely wrecked remains of room 1408.**

**Slowly, shakily, he raised his hands and touched a wall- then the full reality came crashing into him. "I... I WAS OUT! I WAS OOOOUUUUUUT! I WAS OOOOOOUUUUUUUT!"**

Under other circumstances, it might have been comical.

It was decidedly _not _in this one.

**Slowly, his voice lowered to a whisper, and he clasped his hands as if in prayer, hardly noticing the return of the makeshift bandage on his hand. "God... please, God... I was out. I know I was out."**

**There was a soft click behind him- he turned to see a tall, polished black door, standing freely in the center of the room. He moved towards it, glancing at the front, then the back- seemingly, it would open up on nothing.**

**Not that he'd believe that anymore. **

"**I... am not... opening it."**

"Good... good choice," Ruby nodded nervously.

**Regardless, the knob turned without needing him, and slowly, the door creaked open. **

**On the other side was a black void, through which he could hear... **_**things. **_**Indescribable things, things he didn't wish to remember, let alone describe. Things he instantly closed his mind against, slamming the door shut with all the force he could muster- it crumbled into dust in an instant.**

"That's... not something I wanted to hear," Blake murmured, pulling her knees tight into her arms.

"**Jaune?"**

**Slowly, Jaune turned to find another person in the room with him, dressed in her pajamas- Pyrrha Nikos. "No... No..." he whispered, almost whimpered. **

"Don't you dare," Pyrrha attempted to sound scathing, but tears were creeping into her eyes as well. "Don't you dare..."

"**Jaune... where are we?"**

**Jaune was muttering very fast- more to himself than to her. "You're not Pyrrha- you're not, you're not **_**real, **_**you're not real..."**

"**Jaune... I'm cold," Pyrrha whispered. "So cold..."**

**Jaune's mutterings trailed off as Pyrrha walked towards him- her feet were bare, bleeding from the glass she had to walk over. His resolve was crumbling, just as the door had. **

**When she stood in front of him, he stepped forward and embraced her. **

"**I love you, Jaune," she whispered in his ear. "I love you so much."**

"**I know... I know," he sobbed. "I love you too- I love you too!"**

What would have normally brought Pyrrha so much joy now caused her nothing but heartache.

"**But... they won't let me stay... Jaune, they won't let me stay..."**

"**I'll make them," Jaune whispered. "We killed Salem, we'll fight anyone who tries to take you away again- **_**I'll **_**fight them... I'll fight them alone, if I have to... I'm not letting you go..."**

"**I want to stay... to be with you, Nora and Ren again..."**

"**We can, we can!" Jaune insisted through his tears. "I've got you right here, and I'm never letting go! Everything's fine! Everything's fine! Everything's..."**

**Pyrrha had turned cold and limp. **

**She slid backwards, her head lolling, her green eyes empty.**

**Jaune broke.**

"That fucker..." Yang was the only one even capable of articulating anymore. "That fucker..."

**Jaune broke down into silent sobs, holding Pyrrha's body as close to him as he could, rocking her back and forth. "Noooooo..." he moaned. "Not again... you can't take her twice!"**

"_**The best is yet to come, and babe, won't it be fine?"**_

**The second the radio flicked on again, Pyrrha's body crumbled into dust in his arms. **

"_**You think you've seen the sun, but you ain't seen it shine!"**_

**Futilely, pitifully, Jaune attempted to gather the dust and put her back together- only for a gust of wind to blow it all away.**

"_**Wait 'til the warm-up's underway, wait til I draw you near!"**_

**Jaune began to tune out the music as he glanced in the direction of the radio- assuming it was a countdown to his death, he only had a minute left to live.**

**All his fear and despair was released by a bright, burning anger- he leapt to his feet with a scream of fury and began throwing everything within reach at the wall, attempting to break it down. Cracks were certainly appearing, through which light filtered- light of that hateful, alien color, only driving him further into his berserker rage. **

**But his strength also seemed to be sapped with unnatural speed- he'd only been raging for about thirty seconds before he collapsed to the ground, just within line of sight of the radio, still ticking down to whatever fate awaited him. **

"_**The best is yet to come, and babe, won't it be fine? The best is yet to come, come the day you're mine! And you're gonna be mine..."**_

**He closed his eyes, waiting for the timer to reach zero.**

"He's giving up?" Ruby asked sadly.

"What else can he do?" Blake pointed out somberly.

**Five...**

**Four...**

**Three...**

**Two...**

**One...**

**...Nothing.**

**Jaune opened his eyes and looked around.**

**The room had been completely repaired around him- the odd lights were gone, all the furniture and walls repaired- in short, it was identical to the perfectly ordinary hotel room he'd first entered. **

"Maybe... maybe he really _is _free to go?" Ruby guessed hopefully.

"No," Weiss shook her head, eyes widening, "he's not."

**Jaune rose to his feet- even his body had been reset, it seemed- his hand was no longer injured, all the cuts he'd sustained from rolling around on glass were healed.**

**He looked into the bedroom, and his eyes were attracted to the radio.**

**It, too, had reset- it was counting back down from sixty minutes.**

"No way," Jaune gasped, eyes widening.

"Every time I think this fucker can't get any worse," Yang attempted to snarl, but she was clearly as aghast as everyone else.

**The room's phone was ringing. Jaune's face was blank as he staggered over to it and picked it up. He wasted no time, no pretense that he was speaking to an actual staff member. "Why don't you just kill me?" he demanded.**

"**We here at the Austin Hotel firmly believe in the power of free will, Mr. Arc- you are free to live this hour over and over again, or to take our express checkout system."**

"Express... checkout?" Ruby shivered.

**Jaune placed the phone down, and slowly took a lap around the room. First, into the bedroom, where a noose had appeared over the bed. Visions flashed before him of all those who had taken their lives in this room before.**

**He grabbed the bottle of liquor and took a sip as he headed into the bathroom- another noose situated over the toilet. **

**His reflection in the mirror disappeared, then swiftly reappeared, hanging from a noose made of bedsheets.**

**He stepped towards the door. Sure enough, the knob wouldn't turn, and he had no idea where the key might be- but of course, he knew how that would turn out regardless. The map was still entirely blacked out, except for the room he was in- and below the door was a pair of graves, complete with headstones- one, already filled, for Pyrrha, the other, empty and lying in wait for him. **

**He turned away from it all, still blank-faced, and picked up the phone again.**

"**Are you ready to check out, Mr. Arc?"**

**A long pause.**

"**...No. Not your way."**

"Alright, Fearless Leader!" Nora whooped. "You're getting out on your _own _terms!"

"I struggle to see how he can," Weiss whispered hopelessly.

"Where there's a will, there's a way," Yang snarled.

"And you have the will, right, Jaune?" Ruby's eyes gleamed.

Jaune gave a shrug- _he _sure had no idea where this was all going.

**If the phone was annoyed with his answer, it didn't show it. "Very well, sir- incidentally, your friends are on your way- a Mr. Ren and Ms. Valkyrie?"**

**Jaune's eye twitched ever so slightly. "No. You can't have them."**

"**They should be here in five minutes- we'll send them straight up."**

"**No... you won't."**

"Big mistake, room, big mistake," Nora smirked a sharklike grin.

"Huh?" Weiss asked.

"Jaune-Jaune can be a bit of a pushover himself, but he'll move _mountains _to protect his friends," Ren explained bluntly. "By getting us involved, the room may well have signed its own death warrant."

"But _how?_"

"**Five," the phone said. "This is five- even if you leave this room, you can never leave this room."**

**Jaune took the phone away from his ear, watching it melt in his hands, the voice growing louder and distorted. **

"**Eight... this is eight. We have killed your friends. All your friends are now dead. Nine... this is nine. Ruby Rose was eaten by wolves on the Atlesian Turnpike. Four- this is four- I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flapjaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on hairi-kairi rock. I need scissors- sixty-one!"**

**Jaune closed his eyes, and the phone was back to normal.**

"Isn't some of that stuff what Jaune was saying earlier?" Ruby recalled.

"God knows what this room is up to anymore," Blake shook her head.

**Jaune turned, grabbed his bag, and sat down in front of the coffee table. He placed the bottle of liquor in front of him, right next to the ashtray with his single cigarette. **

**He produced his scroll again. "I've... lived like a selfish man... but I'm not dying that way. I... don't know what's real anymore. This room... those voices... that color... maybe even **_**I'm **_**not real."**

**He foraged around in his pocket and produced a small item- a lighter. "But fire... **_**fire **_**is real."**

**He flicked it on, running his finger delicately over the small flame. **

**He took the bandana he'd previously used as a bandage and stuck it in the bottle, making sure that one end was soaked in the alcohol before lighting up the other. He carefully rose to his feet, walked towards the bedroom, and tossed it at the bed. "GO TO HELL!"**

Everyone's jaws dropped- nobody could think of anything to say.

**Jaune leaned back on a chair and watched the fire spread, casually picking up the cigarette and lighting up as if his life **_**weren't **_**in immediate danger. Up above, something in the radiator began thumping and moaning, as if in pain.**

"**Oh, shut up," he muttered, casually blowing a stream of smoke in that direction. **

**He was sure the rest of the hotel would be evacuating already- but he had no way of knowing that far below, Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie were in the lobby, calling for Jaune, beseeching any firefighter they saw to run up to room 1408 and ensure it had been evacuated.**

**He had no way of knowing that Whitley was leaning back in his office, taking one last drink before leaving himself. "Well done, Mr. Arc... well done. I believe I owe you some thanks for this."**

**All he knew was that the room was making one last effort to fight back- the fire sprinklers were coming on, and while the fire was resistant, it wasn't spreading quite as fast as he'd like, either.**

**He rose to his feet, picking up the ashtray, and speaking into his scroll one last time. "The staff are unhelpful... the manager's a douchebag... but on the spook scale alone, I give the Austin Hotel... TEN SKULLS!"**

**He threw the tray through the window, allowing a rush of air and oxygen, causing the fire to roar greater than ever.**

"He is _determined _to take this place down!" Weiss noted, eyes wide.

**Jaune himself was caught in the fire, but was past the point of caring- he could only laugh manically as he watched each and every inch of the room fall apart. Even as he fell to the ground, the fire spreading to his beloved Pumpkin Pete's hoodie, he could only roar in triumph, even unaware of the numberplate outside almost seeming to bleed. **

**Then the door was being kicked open- a large black man rushed in, picking him up single-handedly and rushing him out. "We've got one!" he called. "He's been burned bad- get an ambulance!"**

The audience's spirits rose- was this going to end alright, after all?

**Jaune was mostly limp, but managed to raise his hands and scrabble a bit at the man's face, attempting to drag it closer. "Don't... don't go in the room," he mumbled.**

"**Don't you worry, sir, it's going to be alright."**

"**Don't... don't go in..."**

"**Sir, I don't understand you!"**

"**It's... an evil... fucking room..."**

**And then he knew no more.**

"That _better _not be the end," Yang snarled.

"It's not!" Crazy said quickly, and sure enough,

**The screen lit up again, revealing Jaune in a hospital once again. "Pyrrha..." he whispered. "Pyrrha..."**

"**Jaune!" Nora was on him in an instant, restrained from touching him only by Ren.**

"**Careful, Nora, he's been burned." He pulled her back, and looked closely at Jaune. "Are you awake?"**

"**I saw... Pyrrha..."**

"**I believe it," Ren nodded. "We thought we were going to lose you for a while there."**

**Jaune didn't need to look to know he was covered in casts. **

"**This... Vale?"**

"**Yes, yes, this is Vale," Ren nodded his agreement. "You were in a fire- at the Austin."**

"**I... I remember..."**

"**They're saying it was faulty wiring," Nora reported.**

**Jaune couldn't fight back a chuckle. "W...Wiring... huh?"**

"**Yeah... they said you're going to be okay," Ren assured him.**

"**Okay... Ren... is this... real?"**

**Nora and Ren exchanged confused looks.**

"Is he... is he really out this time?" Ruby asked. "I mean, how can we know for sure?"

"Maybe there's really no way of telling for sure- for us or for him," Pyrrha said solemnly. "In the end, he'll just have to decide whether it's worth trying to put his life back together or not."

**A week later, Jaune was concluding the script for his final episode. **_**Ren and Nora saved me... like they always do. The Austin is closed, at least for now- Whitley made sure to send me anything I left behind, a complete refund, and another bottle of liquor as thanks. He may be a douche, but he's a douch ewith good taste. **_**He pondered this last sentence, then deleted it. **

_**As every, believe what you will- as for me, though, I'm out. No more ghost hunting for me- I've found everything I needed.**_

**He saved the document just as Ren and Nora came in. "Team RWBY's on their way!" Nora announced excitedly. **

"**Just in time!" Jaune announced, smiling. "Just finished the script!"**

"**Oh, that was fast!" Nora beamed.**

"**Pretty easy- I wrote this one already," Jaune shrugged. He picked up one of the crutches he still required to walk as Ren opened a box containing what remained of Jaune's luggage from the Austin.**

"I... I suppose that's true," Pyrrha smiled wanly.

"**It still smells like smoke," he announced as he began unpacking it. "I'll jsut throw it away."**

"**Is my scroll in there?" Jaune raised his voice.**

"**Scroll... scroll..."**

**Ren foraged through it for a moment before producing a badly burned scroll- but it still turned on.**

"**That's Schnee craftsmanship for ya!" Nora giggled. "That thing'd survive a nuclear war!"**

"**Are you sure you want this, Jaune?" Ren asked. "Won't it just bring back bad memories?"**

"**I'm done deceiving myself," Jaune shook his head, taking it. "You have to take the bad with the good. But... go ahead and chuck the rest."**

"I suppose there's truth to that," Blake pondered. "There must always be a balance, I suppose, between good and evil, light and dark-"

"Zip it, Blake, the universe is almost over!" Yang chided.

"Yeah, none of your werid philosophy!" Nora agreed.

Blake rolled her eyes, but fell silent as requested.

**Jaune fiddled around with his scroll for a while, finally bringing up the recording app. He went through a good deal of static before reacing the end:**

"_**You're not Pyrrha- you're not, you're not **_**real, **_**you're not real..."**_

"_**I love you, Jaune... I love you so much..."**_

**Nora and Ren turned around, their eyes widening. Jaune met them steadily, giving a knowing look as he turned the scroll off.**

The screen went black.

"Is that... really the end?" Ruby asked.

"Yeah... yeah, that's really the end. For real, this time," Crazy nodded. "I... I know that one was kinda heavy, but... it's Halloween- how'd you like to go Trick or Treating over in Gem Heights?"

"It... would be nice to stretch our legs," Weiss stood shakily.

"I'll go to the store and get a pumpkin pie," George decided.

The guests looked between each other- yes, they needed to talk about that world, but it could wait just a little longer.

"Wait, don't you guys want to know what came crashing down in the yard?" Stephen asked. "It was-"

"We can find out later, I just wanna go trick or treating!" Ruby interrupted. "Come on, let's go!"

One by one, they all filed out- Crazy hesitated, glancing at the viewers. "Sorry, but I think this is something they'd like to do on their own, alright? We'll be back next time with a more regular schedule!" Then he turned around, closed the door, and locked it tight.

_XXXX_

That we will, that we will. Hope you've enjoyed our Halloween extravaganza- next time, we'll return to normal programming, probably with something significantly more lighthearted- haven't figured out what yet. Maybe a universe we've visited, maybe something new. We'll see. This really is the end- sorry, couldn't resist playing a little Halloween prank. I'm off to get some candy and watch some scary movies- after all, it's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare. Until next time, please R&R, everything embraced, Gamer4 out!

PS: Sorry for the multiple reuploads- the site decided to have a seizure and not put it up properly. This WAS originally up on Halloween, it just wasn't legible until now. I cry your pardon- this time for real, Gamer4 out.


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